There is all kinds of warnings for this fic, guys. To start off, this story is about Lovino and a few other characters having anorexia. If you're uncomfortable or offended with that, I urge you to not read this fic. There is also mentions of depression and mental illnesses. I do not intend to glorify any of these illnesses, and am in no way making light or fun of them. Another thing that could be a big component in this fic is bullying. So this fic is just dripping with angst, and if this makes you feel uncomfortable, I highly suggest you just turn back now. Also this is purely fictional, don't like, don't read. RxR. The chapter intro below is an excerpt from a very well-known poem about anorexia called "My Relationship With Ana." I don't know the author, since the poem's been circulating around the internet for a while now, so I apologize.

Chapter 1. 'I've seen this girl called Ana,

She's pretty thin and tall,

She has the smallest frame I've seen

And one single flaw.'

At first it was just missing one or two meals a day. He would think "Oh, it's just breakfast, I'll eat at lunch or dinner." Then he started skipping days. It was gradual, slowly falling into it. Skipped eating on Monday, eating lunch on Tuesday, then skipped Wednesday, maybe skipping Thursday too.

Before Lovino realized it, he was down to eating maybe a grape or cracker a day.

Things were normal at first too. No one commented, no one batted an eyelash at him. He didn't seem any different. It was his younger brother that took notice first.

"Lovi...you never eat...Are you feeling okay?" He asked as he gently touched his back.

Of course, Lovino immediately hid behind the wall he so long built up in silence. "Leave it alone, there's nothing wrong." He grumbled, grabbing a cup and pouring some juice into it. He drank all of its contents and went up the staircase to his room. As soon as the door was shut, he walked over to the mirror, lifting up his shirt and looking into the person he came to hate.

Maybe others didn't notice, but they will soon enough. He saw small differences, his shirts fit him better, he felt more confident, and some of his bones protruded in ways he considered flattering. He gave an approved nod and let his shirt fall back in place. He looked at the clock and saw that he had about twenty minutes to get ready for school. Sighing, he picked out clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

~oO0Oo~

At school, whenever he felt his stomach would growl during a quiet moment in class, he downed some water. It usually works, and he tries his very best to continue and focus on his work.

During lunch, he would avoid the cafeteria, since even the smell of food drives him crazy. But he will not be fooled. Doing this to himself has caused thoughts he's never considered before.

One that keeps replaying in his head is ("Other kids can't do this. They're weaker than I. Look at that one that's stuffing his face with a cupcake. I'm stronger.")

Having those thoughts, he normally goes to a quiet place and takes out a book to read. It's today, as he does this, that he hears voices coming toward him.

"Why should I eat disgusting cafeteria food when I have a culinary class right after?" One complained loudly, and the other two voices laughed.

Lovino considered hiding, but then figured they wouldn't bother him and would just stroll on by.

"You're so lucky! If it were up to me, I'd take culinary all year, just to avoid that disgusting pig slop they consider food!"

"Oh man, me too. It reminds me of Arthur's cooking...maybe even worse!"

The three voices laugh again.

"Arthur really can't cook for shit- Hey, what are you doing here?" One voice asks, and Lovino notices all three are standing in front of him. He puts the book down and answers a little more harshly than intended. "I came here to read in peace." He looked up and frowned. He should've figured. It was those three idiots in his art class that liked to cause a ruckus and were always sent to the office.

The one with a French accent and long blond hair leaned closer to look at the book he was holding. "Ah, The Hangman's Daughter. That is an interesting book." He grinned in a way that made Lovino want to gag.

Then the one with short, curly, brown hair sat beside him on the bench and smiled. "Guys, we have approximately twenty minutes with nothing to do. Let's make a new friend." He held out a hand and Lovino wanted to tell him to go away. He was polite though, which was a miracle in and of itself. He took the outstretched hand. "I'm Antonio Carriedo. Well, my full name is Antonio Carriedo Fernandez, but you can just call me Toni if you want." The boy beside him said.

Lovino blinked, silently wondering if he should still tell them off and go back to his reading. "...I'm Lovino." He murmured.

The man with blond hair chuckled and leaned against the wall. "Cute name! I'm Francis, Francis Bonnefoy~" He introduced himself, leaning in far too close for Lovino's comfort and shaking his hand.

"And I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt." The boy with strange silver hair and red eyes told him and simply waved, so Lovino nodded at him.

"So, what're you doing here, Lovino? Kids like you normally go to hang out with friends and eat lunch." Francis asked.

Lovino could feel the grimace already trying to form on his face. "I like it when it's quiet." He replied, trying to hint that he'd like to be alone.

Antonio hummed, staring at Lovino with something he couldn't put a name on. "...Then what about lunch?" Antonio asked curiously.

Lovino glared. "I'm not hungry." He said pointedly.

Gilbert chuckled. "C'mon, everyone is hungry during lunch. Choosing not to eat it is probably only because it's slop. It's okay, you can tell us, unless your mom's like, the lunch lady or something." Gilbert grinned toothily.

Okay, that was it. Lovino was done here. "You know what? Fuck you guys. Fuck you and disturbing my peaceful silence. Fuck you and your annoying faces." He spat angrily, Standing up and stomping away.

He could hear Gilbert saying "What the hell is his problem!?"

Then Francis, "Oh, a poor, troubled soul~"

But the worst was Antonio. "Shut up, guys. We did disturb him. Maybe bothering him now wasn't the best time...maybe another time."

Lovino didn't like any of them. He sat behind the school, reading in the corner beside the gate. There were bugs, but he forced himself not to care.

~oO0Oo~

Lovino hated dinner. He hated it more and more with each passing day. He wished he could disappear during dinner and come back when it was over.

"Lovino. Eat." His grandfather grumbled from across the table.

Lovino met his glare with one of his own. He picked up his fork, stabbing the spaghetti on the plate and shoving it into his mouth. Thoughts immediately swirled around in his head. ("No, what are you doing, you idiot? Don't you know you'll look better when you're thinner!? Do you not care how you look? Already, you're getting fatter and uglier.")

After dinner Lovino quietly went to the bathroom, turned on the sink to make noise as he shoved a finger down his throat and forced himself to purge.

He quickly brushed his teeth, did homework and went to bed. This was all a small price to pay for his confidence.

~oO0Oo~

He avoided his usual reading spot now, mostly because he knew those three idiots walked past there, expecting to see him. Two weeks later in art class, and he would still sit far away from them as possible, putting in his earphones and pretending not to hear them when they tried to get his attention.

It was also around this time that people started to notice. Now he was getting compliments from his peers.

"You look good today, Lovino." A girl, Femke, said. She smiled and winked at Lovino. He practically beamed at her.

"You seem different...but it's a good change, I don't know...did you cut your hair or something?" Another girl, Elizabeta commented, looking him over and nodding in approval. He shrugged, but felt light and happy.

When he looks into the mirror now, he sees a more attractive person. He can see his ribcage and flat stomach. He can see his collar bone more clearly now and he feels absolutely elated.

The real trouble started when, as he was dismissed for lunch, he ran into Antonio. He was standing outside Lovino's classroom, and Lovino suspected he had been just waiting for him to finish class.

He eyed him wearily and continued walking past him. Antonio didn't let up. "Hey, Lovino! Hold on for a sec." He said, catching up and walking beside Lovino.

"What?" He spat, not bothering to glance at Antonio. The guy was annoying as hell.

"I'm sorry if what Francis and Gilbert acted like or said made you uncomfortable. I'm also sorry we bothered you when you were reading." Antonio apologized sincerely.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "They didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I just wanted some peace and quiet."

Antonio nodded. "I can see you like peace and quiet. But, I have a proposition for you." He grinned and Lovino wanted to scream in frustration. This guy would just not go away. "So I kinda ditched my last class, and went to the culinary room and cooked up some tuna empanada, wanna share some with me?" He asked hopefully.

Lovino glanced at the container Antonio was holding, and bit the inside of his cheek. Times like this, he gets paranoid. Will Antonio find out? Will he be caught purging in the schools bathroom? What if he can't purge?

"Um...I'm not...hungry." He mumbles, squeezing through a crowd of freshman. Antonio determinedly trails after him.

"Okay, but what if I said I don't believe you?" He grinned, holding up the container.

Now, Lovino tends to snap at people on occasions such as these. It didn't matter who they were. He turned to Antonio and whispered angrily, "Look here you fucking annoying-ass prick. I don't want any of your damn food. Now fuck off." Antonio's smile faded and Lovino left him standing in the hall. It was best this way.

He pondered whether he should read outside again, or maybe, even in the parking lot. He decided on parking lot, and was just about to walk out the front doors, when he was called out to.

"You there! Where d'you think you're going?"

He sighed exasperatedly, turning to glare at the teacher that stopped him. "What?" He spat.

The teacher seemed ruffled at his attitude. "All students stay in the cafeteria or courtyard during lunch break. You can't go outside, there's cars out there that could hit you."

Lovino now fully turned to the teacher and said through clenched teeth. "That's a stupid rule! This isn't a prison, and you can't keep me locked up. I'm not a moron, I wasn't going to just lay on the road and wait for someone to run me over."

The teacher sharpened his glare and crossed his arms, making his stance more intimidating. "Cafeteria. Now." He demanded.

Lovino stood frozen on the spot, looking from the asshole teacher, back to the cafeteria doors. He could feel his arms stiffen and his palms get sweaty. He was scared.

He tried to keep up his brave front, and glared back at the teacher. "I'm not going in there." He growled.

"Then I guess it's a detention for you." The teacher sneered at him. "A detention with me after school, and guess what? You still have to go in the cafeteria. So hurry up before I call your parents."

"Oh, there you are! I've been looking all over the place for you!" A voice Lovino instantly recognized chimed in from the side.

Lovino turned and sure enough, there was Antonio, smiling and still holding that goddamn container up.

"We're busy, Fernandez." The teacher told him sternly.

Antonio frowned, looking between Lovino and the teacher. "Actually, it's Carriedo...and I think this concerns me." He said, standing beside Lovino.

The teacher looked affronted, and grimaced. "How does this concern you, Carriedo?" He asked, saying Antonio's last name with another sneer.

Antonio didn't look deterred in the slightest. He simply smiled. "You see, I asked Lovino if he could get something from my car, which is parked in the student parking lot. He didn't mean any harm. He's quiet, and has a hard time communicating, so you'll have to excuse him."

The teacher huffed. "Well, since you're here, he can go back to the cafeteria while you get the things from your car." He said, focusing on Lovino.

Antonio laughed. "Actually, I don't know where said thing is. Only Lovino does, and I'm bad with descriptions. It would be faster if he just came with me."

The teacher rolled his eyes. "In that case, I'm coming with you-"

At that exact moment, there was a loud commotion, a fight, in front of the cafeteria doors. The asshole teacher in front of them groaned and pointed to the two of them as he started running to stop the fight. "You two wait there. I'll be right back."

Lovino frowned, turning and pushing the doors open. Antonio followed after him.

"Good thing I came just in time, huh?" He said happily.

"Whatever. You should've just minded your own damn business." Lovino grumbled.

Antonio glanced behind them, grabbing Lovino's hand and pulling him with him. "Wha-!? Hey!"

"I didn't lie when I said I had a car parked out here. If you're looking for a quiet place to read, then I offer my car as your place of solitude. Apart from me, that is." Antonio grinned.

They stopped in front of Antonio's car. It wasn't too bad, just a black Chevrolet Camaro. Lovino would even say he was impressed. Not by much though.

Antonio opened the door for him and motioned for him to get inside. Lovino's frown deepened. "How do I know you aren't just some crazy murderer and I'm your next victim?" He grumbled.

Antonio laughed, throwing his head back. "You are hilarious! Look, just get in. I promise I'm not a crazy murderer. Just a guy that wants to chat for a bit." He said hopefully.

Lovino bit his lip, finally giving up and getting into the passengers seat. Antonio closed the door and ran around to the other side, hopping in. He turned on the car and switched on the USB connection. Lovino wasn't surprised when Spanish music resounded through the speakers.

"I thought it would be quiet." He said flatly.

Antonio tilted his head, looking at Lovino in wonder. "It won't be awkward for you?" He asked.

Lovino rolled his eyes and held up his book. "I'm gonna be reading, it doesn't matter to me."

Antonio smiled and nodded, turning off the music. He took out the container of food and opened it. Lovino immediately regretted coming with Antonio, because as soon as the scent hit his nose, his stomach growled. Loudly.

Antonio blinked, staring at Lovino in surprise, and Lovino blushed, refusing to look at him.

"...You weren't hungry?" Antonio said in amusement.

"Shut up and just leave it." Lovino hissed.

Antonio poked the food with his fork, holding up a piece for Lovino to take. "Here, just try a bite." He said. "It's good, I promise. Not to toot my own horn, but I can cook even the most complex of recipes."

Lovino turned away from the fork of food. "Stop, Antonio...please." He mumbled.

Antonio seemed to get the hint, and stopped bothering him immediately. He shrugged and put the forkful in his mouth. "Okay..." He murmured, and continued eating.

They sat in the car peacefully after that. Antonio didn't finish all of the food, and put the container on the dash, almost as if to let Lovino know that it was there if he wanted it. Lovino, however, buried his face in the book, trying not to focus on the smell of the food or Antonio.

Fifteen minutes later, Antonio cleared his throat, getting Lovino's attention. "Class is gonna start." He said, smiling at Lovino as he put his book down. Lovino nodded, getting out as Antonio turned the car off and did the same.

"Let's go in through the back. I bet that teacher is just waiting for us to come back." Antonio said, leading Lovino through the parking lot and behind some buildings. They managed to get in through the back doors of the school.

"Thank you, I guess..." Lovino mumbled, glancing at Antonio shyly.

Antonio grinned from ear-to-ear. "Anytime, Lovi. Tell you what, if you want a good place to read, just go to my car from out these back doors. I'll be waiting for you." He promised, winking as he walked away and blended in with the crowd.

Lovino stood there for a moment, contemplating the idea. He supposed he would take Antonio up on that offer. After all, Antonio didn't bother him about eating after he denied it. And Antonio was quiet. Lovino rushed to class, glad Antonio was so kind as to give him a space to read in peace.