The Things We Banned Nick to Do!

Here's the final chapter! And the chapter that you've been waiting for!

"The Things We Banned Nick to Do!"

Let me just say I had did a lot of thinking for this chapter, but here's the end result! Hope you like it.

Added Disclaimer: I own Leia, but nobody else. Well, except the Thundershield unborn baby. So yes. Just the Thundershield unborn baby and Leia. As for who she is you'll see.

I'm sad to that this is the last chapter of this. *sighs* Heartaches and pain. Well, it was fun!

Onward to our final victim, the banner (and not Bruce!) of things...!

15 - DIRECTOR NICK FURY!

1. Fury's not allowed to bring his niece to the HQ anymore.

When Phil entered the Hellicarrier, he already felt a shiver down his spine. It was a feeling he wasn't familiar with. But he knew it was a bad feeling.

"COULSON!"

The man turned to see Maria walking up to him, a tablet in her hands. "Fury's asking for you." Phil nodded, following his female counterpart. The duo made it to the meeting room, finding Fury in there with another. It was a young female, probably the age of 16 years old. She was a tad bit lighter than Fury himself with dark curls cut to her shoulders. Her eyes were a dark hazel color. She wore black skinny jeans, heeled ankle boots, and a black turtleneck short sleeved shirt. They noticed she had black markings going around her right and left wrists. She looked like a model with feminine sharp features, but deadly dangerous.

"Sir.", Maria announced. Fury and the female turned to see them. "Ah. Hello, Hill. Coulson." Phil nodded in greeting. "Director. Who's this?", he asked, gesturing to the female. Fury looked at her, and back to Coulson. "This is-"

"I can't believe it you would say that, Tony! Look what you did!"

"I'm sorry, Nat! I forgot how emotional Stevie can get sometimes now! I forgot how pregnancy affects his hormones!"

The four turned to see the team enter the room. Steve was in Thor's arms crying while Natasha and Tony went at it back and forth. The others watched in amusement and concern. "What's going on?", Maria asked. Wanda pointed at Tony. "He did it."

"What did he do?"

"Tony had got mad at Steve for eating his special almond and chocolate cake... and called him fat for it. Momentarily, forgetting Steve's pregnancy.", Vision answered. The girl standing next to Fury made a soft sound before walking over to Tony. He stopped agruing with Natasha to stare at the girl. "Um..."

SLAP!

Everyone stilled in surprise at the girl from slapping Tony. She glared. "Next time, take in consideration for him. Pregnant people are very sensitive about how they look. Besides, you should be willing to share your cake. Be nice.", the girl warned with a deadly tone. She then went over to Steve, who had now stopped crying. "Hey, you're beautiful the way you are. You're not fat; you're carrying life! Some people wish they could do that. You're one of the lucky ones. Besides, I'm sure the father appreciates you carrying your baby. It's a blessing. And look on the bright side, you're glowing.", she said in a more gentle tone. Steve had immediately stopped the waterworks, now wearing a smile. "Thank you."

"No problem." The girl then went over to one of the chairs at the table and sat down in it. She crossed her legs and arms, giving the group a smirk. Fury gave a similar smirk. "Avengers, I'd like to introduce you to Leia Fury.", he said.

"Nick's niece.", now introduced Leia added. The group stared between the two with shock written on each of their faces. "Your niece?!", Clint exclaimed. Leia nodded. "Yup. On my dad's side."

"She popped in for a visit.", Fury said, walking over to his niece's side. "Ah. What a lovely thing to do.", Thor commented. Leia just grinned even more.

Later!

In the gym, Clint and Natasha were having their usual sparring sessions. Pietro and Wanda watched, Bruce working out on the bench. The archer dodged a swing from Nat, grabbing her torso and flipping her over his shoulder. The redhead countered it, going between his legs and pinning him down just as Leia walked in. "Sparring?", she asked, gesturing to the surrendering Clint who was in a headlock by Nat's legs. "Yup.", the female ex-assassin said as she got up. Leia crossed her arms. "Hm. Let me take a turn."

Natasha shrugged. "Sure. Against me?"

"Definitely." Leia stepped forward cracking her knuckles. Clint went over to the twins. "Nat's going to lay her on her ass." Pietro nodded, putting his arms around the archer's shoulders. "Probably."

They were proven wrong in seconds. Leia had quickly dodged Nat's kick, managing to get the older in a body lock. The darker female's arms were locked around Natasha's shoulders, her hands pressing the back of the other's head. Her legs were tightened around Natasha's torso. The older woman grunted at the pain, tapping on Leia's leg. "I give! I give!" Bruce had stopped exercising to stare at the two in amazement. "Wow."

Much later!

The group were now back at the Tower, laying about in the den. Natasha and Pietro was sprawled out on the floor and couch as Clint and Wanda patched up their bruises. "I can't believe it. She actually beat both of you.", the female twin admitted, wrapping Pietro's bicep. The platinum blonde huffed. "I can't believe it either."

"You're not the only ones she showed off to. She beat Bucky in an arm wrestle!", Sam exclaimed. "And he was using his metal arm." Bucky growled. "Wench."

"She actually beat Thor in a poptart eating contest.", Steve said. Thor sighed in defeat, but with some satisfaction. "She's a mighty warrior."

"And a good prankster.", Clint smiled. "I like her."

"I don't.", Tony hissed, remembering the slap he got earlier. Bruce awed, kissing him softly. "It's alright, Tony. I mean she made up for it when she helped us in the lab." The Arc holder shrugged. "Right. But he shouldn't bring her around for a while."

Somewhere else!

"Think they'll warm up to me, Uncle?" Fury looked down at the younger one, grinning. He patted her back as they went to the car. "They really don't have a choice."

2. He's not allowed to bring weapons into public places.

It was a relatively normal day for the man. Fury wasn't in usual trenchcoat outfit. Instead, he wore dark blue jeans and a dark navy and a dark grey open hoodie. At the moment, he was in a coffee shop, waiting in line for his coffee and muffins. Unfortunately, it was going to be a while before he gets it.

The line had at least four people in it, but the very first one was taking his sweet time ordering. It was a man in his mid thirties with dark red hair, clearly dyed. He was staring down at the counter menu in silent. It was a while before he spoke. "I think I'll have... no. Give me a minute."

The woman behind the counter just shrugged. The man bit his lip, humming to himself a bit. "Okay. I want... no. Not good for my diet." At the back, Nick growled under his breath. The man spoke up again after ten minutes. "Alright."

Nick's hope actually was brought up, but as usually, it was brought down again. "I want... no. You know what? I really don't know what I want."

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT!"

Everybody ducked when Nick pulled out his gun and placed it to the man's head, pushing the other two waiting customers on the floor. "YOU WANT TO FUCKING ORDER SOME MOTHERFUCKING COFFEE OR GET THE FUCK OUT THIS SHOP! WHICH ONE, MOTHERFUCKER?!"

"I'M OUT!" The man ran out the shop. Fury placed his gun back. After a few seconds, he turned to the other two customers that were waiting in the line. "You want to order?", he asked, much more calmly. They shook their heads. "N-no. You can go ahead."

A few minutes later, Nick Fury walked out happily with his coffee and some free muffins.

3. Or his niece.

"I don't need no parachute, baby if I got you. You're gonna catch me. You're gonna catch me if I fall. Down, down, down."

"Lee-Lee, please stop singing. Despite your gift, I don't need Cheryl stuck in my head right now."

"Sorry, Uncle." Leia followed Nick out his car, walking with him into a restaurant. They walked into the place, getting into the line. In one of the stalls was Thor, Loki, and Steve. Loki had looked up from his menu and recognized the Director. "Isn't that Fury?" The couple looked up, following the other's line of vision. "Yup."

"Who is the young lady accompanying him?"

"His niece. She's a quite the warrior, brother! She had defeated Lady Natasha in a sparring!", Thor bellowed. Steve giggled at his enthusaism while Loki stared at Leia with wide eyes. "Wow."

"It's a bit shocking. Took Nat a while to get over it.", Steve said. The trio continued to watch Leia and Nick, wondering what they were going to do. When it was their turn to order, a young couple jumped in front of them. "Excuse me, but we were here first.", the brunette girl said, turning to the man behind the counter. "Yeah, I would like-"

"HELLA NO!" Leia growled, grabbing the other girl by her hair and putting her in a body lock. "OW! OW! OW! LET ME GO!"

"BITCH, I WAS HERE BEFORE YOU!", Leia hissed. The girl's boyfriend stepped forward. "Hey, let her go!" Nick pulled out a taser, pointing at him. Seeing the taser made Thor shiver. "Step the fuck back or I'll tase you so hard your ancestors will feel it."

Steve watched the commotion, Leia eventually letting the girl go when security came out. "Is that really our boss?", he asked himself. He figured violent actions ran in the Fury family. Across from him, Loki cheered on Nick and Leia as they argued with the security and the couple. He was even prouder when Leia grabbed Nick's taser and tasered the couple and guards within four seconds. "Brother, you are right! She is a mighty warrior! And beautiful!"

4. He's not allowed to prank the team.

Tony groaned when the alarm began to blare through his room. For once he actually went to bed and the time he does, there was some emergency.

It took twenty minutes for the team to get ready and go over to the HQ. Each of them was still groggily, except Vision who doesn't sleep, and cranky when they got there. They rushed into the building, Phil frantically escorting them into the meeting room.

When they got in, they noticed that the table had pickle jars aligned on it. Nick stood at one side with a bright smile. "Sir, what's going on? What did you call us for?", Sam, his wings ready for take off.

Fury pointed at the jars. "I called you here for this. Each of you open up a pickle jar. The first one gets 100 bucks." It was silence for a moment before any of them reacted. And the first to react was Steve. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" Everyone was a bit shocked the all goody-two-shoes Captain America actually cussed. But he had an excuse. He was pregnant, making him even crankier than ever. "YOU CALLED US HERE TO OPEN UP SOME DAMN PICKLE JARS?!"

"Soldier, calm down. It's a training exercise. Besides, I did say I'll give 100 dollars to whoever opens their pickle jar first." The team immediately rushed for the jars, remembering Nick mentioning that. The only ones that wasn't participating was Vision and Steve. Vision just didn't want to, but watched in amusement. Steve was grumbling about his bladder, and rushed to the bathroom. Thor had noticed was opted out when he followed.

Everyone struggled with their pickle jars, not noticing something wasn't right with them.

It took a whole good hour for them to give up. "Okay! I give up!", Pietro sighed, throwing his arms up in defeat. Tony grumbled, flopping down in a chair. "This is stupid! Why can't any of us open them?!" Nick began to laugh, catching their attention. "I'm sorry. But this is why."

He held up a hot glue gun. "I hot glued each jar."

It was a bit of silence again for the info to sink in.

"HE PRANKED US!"

5. He's not allowed to use his eye-patch as an excuse for anything.

Fury had woken up in a pretty calm mood. No, not good mood. But calm, which was pretty okay for his standards. He dressed into his usual black trenchcoat outfit after a shower and went out his house to his black van, his vehicle in his Director mood.

He went to the Headquarters, ready for his coffee and to get the day over with.

As he expected, Phil was waiting at the entrance with Maria. The female agent had his coffee while the other had a folder to give him. "The usual. This time in Tibet.", Phil said as they entered the meeting room, the team already there.

Nick nodded. "Alright."

He placed the manila folder down on the table and turned on the screen, a bit bigger than usual. Bruce scrunched his nose. "Um... sir? Why is the screen bigger than usual?", he asked. Fury looked at the screen, then to Bruce, back at the screen, and back at Bruce. He tapped his eye-patch. "I'm technically half-blind. So... yeah."

The team could only stare.

Two days later!

"It's official. Every time we're being shot at multiple times, it reminds me of Budapest."

"Natasha, I thought I said to never bring that place up!"

The duo were taking cover behind a metal storage box within a warehouse. At the moment, they were being shot at by a group of mafia guys. Two of them had machine guns. "We could really use Tony right now.", Clint mumbled, quickly shooting two guys in the chest with his arrows before taking cover again. Natasha nodded. "Right. We could use anybody right now."

There was a sudden whooshing sound. The duo spotted a small missile heading to the enemy guys, making an explosion and knocking them out. Possibly killing some of them.

Their eyes wondered further till they found Nick Fury holding a bazooka. He walked up to them, the duo sighing in relief. "Thank Thor you came, Director. For once, I thought we were goners.", Clint sighed.

Fury smirked, tapping his eye-patch. "My eye-patch senses were tingling."

The next afternoon!

"Sir? I was wondering something."

Fury looked over at Phil who was beside him. They were inside the armory checking the weapons out. It was something that had to be done to make sure no one took a weapon (cough cough Maria and Phil cough cough) and used it for something unnecessary (cough cough Natasha cough cough).

"What were you wondering about, Coulson?", Fury asked, setting down the clipboard in his hands. Phil cleared his throat. "Well... how did you become Director? You were ranked up for being a SHIELD agent for years? Rescued the previous Director? What is it?"

The darker man chuckled. "It was my eye-patch."

6. He's not allowed to sneak up on people or come unannounced. Especially couples.

Thor had found himself entering the living room, finding Steve in there watching some movie. He took interest in the screen when there was a large scorpion appearing on the screen and eating some guy. "Love, what are partaking to watching?", the thunder user asked as he took a seat next to Steve and putting his arm around his waist. "I'm watching 'Clash of the Titans'. Tony suggest I should watch it.", Steve answered, getting comfortable in Thor's embrace.

The couple continue to watch the movie, once in a while Thor commenting on the portrayal of the Greek gods. Or admiring Perseus' fighting skills and attitude.

It wasn't until the credits began to roll that the couple started to get... intimate. Steve stretched his body against Thor's, yawning just a bit. "You know, I could really go for a nice massage before I go take a nap.", he whispered seductively. Thor smirked, placing his hand on Steve's stomach. "Oh? And where do you desire to be touch, my angel?", he asked huskily. The shorter blonde brought the other closer. "I would desire to be touched-"

"That movie was awesome."

"Ah!" The couple jumped in alarm at the voice, Steve punching Thor in the nose. Realizing what he had done, Steve quickly turned to Thor. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you."

"That had to hurt." The blonde turned to see Fury sitting in one of the chairs with a grin on his face. Blue eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?! You were not sitting there about an hour ago!"

"I've been here for the past ten minutes, Rogers. I also came to see how the baby was doing.", Fury answered, not shaken by the anger in the super soldier's tone. Steve huffed, calming down a bit. "The baby's just fine, Director. Bruce gave me a check-up some time earlier." He then turned back to his future husband, seeing that now Thor was rocking red nose. "Oh, honey. I didn't mean to punch you. You're not bleeding, are you?", he asked, turned Thor's head up to inspect the injury. Thor just a sniffle before shaking his head. "No, my angel. I'm just fine. But I must say you hold much might in your swing."

Steve sighed.

A little later, Clint was just coming from the training room, heading off to his room to shower and take a nap. When he came into his room, he found Pietro sitting on the bed, his arms and legs crossed with a grin on his face. "I see you've been working out recently, my little bird.", the speedster teased.

Clint frowned. "Don't you have a twin to go bother?"

"She went shopping with Natasha. Besides, I think I rather bother my little bird at the moment." The older sighed, placing his gym towel on his chair and heading to his private bathroom. "Whatever. I'm going to go take a shower." Pietro sped to his front, blocking his way. "Can I join?" Clint blushed at the question. "Pietro... no."

"Or I can at least wash you myself? Or undress you?" Clint refused to let out a moan from the sultry tone. "No! You pervert!" Pietro ignored the shout and drew his hand up Clint's shirt, bringing it to the small of his back. "I may be a pervert, but I'm your pervert." Before the older could retort, Pietro kissed him, drawing his tongue inside the other's mouth. Clint moaned, snaking his arms around Pietro's neck.

The kissing had then quickly escalated into some more touching and then Clint being thrown onto his bed. Pietro pulled off his shirt, before pulling Clint by his ankles towards him when he tried to get off the bed. Apparently, he forgotten how much faster the younger was.

"No no no, little bird. You're not going anywhere." Pietro drew Clint in for another kiss, his fingers lingering lower to...

"Hey, Barton! I have another- WHOA!"

The couple parted quickly. Well, more so Clint pushing off Pietro. The couple turned to see Fury standing at the doorway with a folder in his hands, leaning against the frame. "You know, Barton, I'm still surprised you and the kid actually hooked up." Clint blushed, making his appearance even more disheveled and flustered. Pietro, on the other hand, smirked, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "He was a little hard to persuade at first. Eventually, he couldn't resist."

"I can see that."

Clint had leaped off the bed, straightening his shirt out a bit, before glaring at the Director. "You could've knocked, you know! There's a door for a reason!" Fury glared back. "Well, if you two weren't so horny you would have noticed it was open!"

"Well, next time announce yourself, sir!"

"What's going on in here?" The trio turned to see Bruce with a mixed expression of confusion and concern on his face. A blush was added when he saw a shirtless Pietro and a somewhat flustered and angered Clint. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something here!", he quickly added as he stepped out the room. When he was gone, Pietro had let out a chuckle. "He's adorable. I'm sure Stark loves it. Ow!"

The speedster turned to glare at Clint who had his arms crossed. "You're not allowed to call anyone else adorable. Also, put back on your shirt."

"You know you like me shirtless." The Director sighed loudly, reminding them of his presence. "I'm still here."

"Feel free to leave. I mean no one invited you to come in.", Clint reminded. The two shared a death glare contest, Pietro looking back and forth between them. He began to worry for the safety of themselves and others.

7. And finally, he's not allowed to ban the team from doing anything anymore!

Fury couldn't believe it. He just couldn't even fathom the idea of this. Not in a million years. "What the hell is this?", he asked, glaring up at the team. Tony scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It's a request. You did say if we had any concerns or requests feel free to inform you."

"Stark, I'll blast you in the ass."

"Sir, maybe that should be added, too."

In Fury's hand was a piece of paper with contents written on it.

By the agreement of the Avengers and companions, we have requested for the banishment of Director Nicolas Fury's authority to banishing the forlorn activities of the members of the said team.

That was the one sentence that stuck out to Fury.

"So... let me get this straight for one motherfucking minute. You're telling me you're banning me from banning you from doing things?"

Everyone nodded. Including Rhodey, Pepper, Phil and Maria. Fury's glare heated. "I'm not agreeing to this."

"You're going to have to one way or another.", Steve threatened his blue eyes becoming darker than ever. Tony and Rhodey had stepped back, refusing to be in the middle of a pregnant soldier's rage. But Fury being the badass he was, he was in no way backing down.

"Well, I choose option number three. I'm not agreeing to it."

Steve growled. Thor sensed the anger rising and placed his hands on his future spouse's shoulders. "Angel, maybe you should-" Thor was interrupted with Steve throwing himself over Fury's desk. Fury dodged him, still holding onto the piece of paper. "FUCK THIS REQUEST!", he shouted, tearing the paper. That just pissed Steve off more. "I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"BRING IT ON!"

The blonde moved forward to attack as did Fury. Both were being held back by two people. Maria and Phil for Nick and Thor and Bucky for Steve. The two tried kicking and struggling out of the holds but no use.

"Director! You're going to fight a pregnant man?!", Maria asked in disbelief. "Oh I wasn't going to fight him... I was going to lay him out on his ass!"

"Fuck you!"

"Steven!", Thor scowled. The shorter blonde grumbled in response. "He has to die! He has to!"

"Steve, that's the hormones talking! Think of the little bun in the oven!", Bucky exclaimed. Steve had slowly calmed down, still glaring at Fury. "... hate you."

"Likewise. And for that, I'm banning you all from banning me from banning you from doing certain things."

Leia had chosen that moment to walk into the room to witness utter chaos.

"I'm going to need some caffeine."

And that's the end of it! It was fun while it lasted. Really fun.

Really, really fun.

Loved it? Hate it?

Review!