AMERICA'S FIRST PALACE CHRISTMAS.

AMERICA'S POV

Part of me didn't want to celebrate Christmas this year. It would forever be associated with my father's death and everything else that happened last year. Yes, it was the best time of my life when Maxon proposed, but the time leading up to it was hard. I was blackmailed by Clarkson, my father died, I hurt the love of my life, there was the worst rebel attack in living memory, and the king and queen were killed.

The strange thing was that, aside from my father's death, these things had been just as hard – if not harder – for him than me, and yet he had been excited for Christmas since September. On the first of December, he made sure that there were garlands of holly in every corridor of the palace and Christmas trees in the entrance hall, the great hall, and the dining room. He had wanted to put one in our bedroom but there wasn't quite enough room so he had just hung mistletoe over our bed as an excuse to kiss me every night.

I found the whole thing stressful. I needed to give him a present but I had no idea what. Beating last year would be simple when he gave me a house and his heart and I just broke it, but I wanted to beat his presents for me. Every time I thought of something, however, I wondered if I could ever make up for last Christmas.

Maxon had told me I could decorate the women's room however I wanted – so I didn't. It stayed the same as it had for the year I had known it, and became my salvation; my place of peace, the closer to Christmas we got. In fact, on Christmas eve, I spent the entire day in there. I opted for the jeans Maxon had given me over a year ago, a simple green t-shirt, and left my hair down and natural.

"America, can I come in?" Maxon asked, knocking on the door. I could say no to him but I would hate myself for it later so I got up from the sofa where I had been reading and opened the door.

"What's up?" I asked, walking to one of the chairs and falling back down on it.

"Mary told me you were in here again. Are you ok?" He asked, sitting in the chair opposite. "I've barely seen you all week."

"I'm fine." I said softly. But Maxon, being Maxon, knew that I was lying. He got up and moved to the arm of my chair and pulled me closer into him. I felt myself surrounded by his smell and smiled. I felt a small tear fall down my face which I quickly brushed away with my fingers but Maxon had spotted it and grabbed my fingers before I could put them back down on the chair.

"America, what's on your mind?" He asked, threading his fingers through mine and rubbing my shoulder with his other hand. "Please tell me."

"I'm not good enough for you." I whispered, feeling another couple of tears falling. I let them come, there was no point trying to hide it any more. He sighed and kissed my head.

"I've told you, America. I love you, how can you not be good enough for me."

"You've given me everything I could have ever wanted, and what have I given you? I don't even know what to give you for Christmas." I laughed softly as a way to hide the painful truth to my words.

"America. I was raised here. Having everything you didn't. There is nothing you can give me for Christmas because you already gave me the only thing I've wanted all my life: love. My father barely tolerated me and although my mother tried her best it was never quite right. Everyone always told me the whole country loved me because I was the prince of Illèa. You were the first person who even liked me for being me – Maxon – rather than just the power and title I hold. In fact, if I remember rightly, you hated the royal part of me but stayed because of the real part of me. America, you showed me that I could be loved unconditionally – even if it was often loudly and somewhat angrily - and I will always love you for that. And I need nothing more." I smiled a little and brushed another tear from my face.

"Are you sure? You never think you should have chosen someone else? Not when you remember everything I've done and said that has hurt you."

"Never." He smiled and kissed my hand. "Why didn't you decorate in here?" He asked after a moment. I shrugged.

"It's a Christmas-free zone. I didn't need a reminder of last year in here. How do you cope? You lost more than I did." I asked and he shrugged in response.

"I don't see it like that. Yeah, the attack was horrible, as was you losing your father, but despite everything we ended up together. It was Christmas when I realised just how much I love you." He smiled at the memory and I smiled as well as I remembered what he'd written in those letters.

"Fine." I said dramatically. "You've twisted my arm. But if we're decorating this room then it's going to be us ok. No maids or servants, just us and a box of decorations." I went over to get the box of things I'd been given a fortnight ago and Maxon followed to help.

There was more than I'd remembered and the store cupboard in the corner of the room was actually full of boxes filled with tinsel, baubles, lights, and goodness knows what. In the corner of the cupboard there was even a fake Christmas tree which we pulled out and put by one of the large windows that looked out onto the gardens.

By dinner-time, the room had been transformed from my slightly depressing place to wallow in self-doubt and hatred into a room that was truly beautiful and celebrated my favourite holiday (when I ignored last year). We had a great day as well, spending time together like we did when the Selection first ended without being interrupted by any advisors – apparently, diplomacy took Christmas off as well. It wasn't perfect and it lacked a lot of the majesty that was present in the decorations of the great room, the dining room, and the entrance hall, but it was perfect because it was ours.

The palace technically belonged to the people, but the Women's room was supposed to be a sanctuary for the Queen and her guests. The only people we would be entertaining over the next few days were my family and Maxon's Aunt and cousins and none of them would care. Regardless, I liked this room reminding me of everything that Maxon and I were, rather than it being a room that simply showed that I was not cut out for this. At the end of the day, we were married and I was queen, I needed to get on and do that rather than simply wishing I was someone I wasn't.

Whilst there was no party in the palace on Christmas eve, there was still celebrations for the whole country that took place in the palace. We did a special, short edition of the Report that was just Christmas wishes from the palace and the royal family. We also took the opportunity to thank the country for their support in the first year of our reign.

At midnight, we went up to the roof where fireworks had been set up to go off. We carefully lit the first one together as the bells chimed in the church tower to celebrate the start of the day of celebration. We watched as it exploded in the air and was then surrounded by other beautiful lights as fireworks were set off from all directions until they surrounded the palace and we watched as the people of the city joined in and sent their own fireworks flying. I imagined the images of all the Provinces, especially Carolina, doing the same thing that would be joining the pictures of Angeles and the Palace on the broadcasted version going out this evening.

I woke up on Christmas morning feeling much better about the whole festival. Maxon and I had decided to spend Christmas breakfast together in our room before meeting our families for lunch and presents.

"Merry Christmas, my darling." Maxon said as he woke me up with a kiss on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas. I shouldn't even ask if there's any snow, should I?"

"No, sorry. Angeles isn't famous for its snow I'm afraid."

"I shouldn't be surprised, it rarely snowed in Carolina on Christmas anyway."

Breakfast turned out to be light and I was glad of it as Christmas dinner was the largest of the year when I was a five in Carolina but even that was smaller than some dinners served here in the palace so I dreaded to think of what size the meal would be this afternoon.

We decided to do Christmas in our only self-decorated room – the Women's room – which would happily house all seventeen of us for the morning. My family (including James and Astra) arrived first as they lived closest and my mother brought a few bags of presents of her own to put under the tree alongside the ones from us.

"Mom wouldn't let us open anything this morning." Gerard complained as we greeted them. I was enveloped in hugs from everyone – even Kota, although he seemed somewhat distracted – and my mother even turned to hug Maxon, who was most surprised by the action.

We had just taken them all up to the Women's room – which was beginning to look substantially smaller with an added seven people – when it was announced that Adele and her family had arrived. We just moved to go and meet them when she appeared herself and pushed past the guard who nodded and left.

"I've been coming here longer than these two have been alive!" She laughed as she walked through the door. "Maxon, darling!" She opened her arms and hugged Maxon. "And America, good to see you too." She said as she hugged me as well. "And you must be the Singers. I've heard an awful lot about you all." Her six children and husband followed lovingly through the door, each child hugging Maxon and immediately beginning the chatter. Yet more presents appeared around the tree and since everyone was here, we decided it was time to open them.

Two hours later the room looked a mess as wrapping paper was strewed all over the room (although most people had piled up their presents neatly) but it was also full of laughter. Kota had given Maxon and I two paintings from his new collection "which everyone is dying to get their hands on" (as he told us); Kenna, James and Astra gave us a photo album that they had filed with pictures from when I was a child and some of Maxon and I as well as an empty one to "fill with the memories we are making"; my mother, May and Gerard gave me a box of sheet music for me to play on all of my instruments and gave Maxon a box of rolls of film for his cameras; and Adele and her family had given us a few books that she thought that we would enjoy.

I lost track of who got what after that except I knew what we had given – to my family at least (Maxon had so many cousins that I barely knew that I had left that to him mainly). We gave Kota a new frame for him to use for his paintings; we gave Kenna some new jewellery and James got some cufflinks, as well as giving them some clothes and toys for Astra; we gave May a new easel as her last one was a bit grubby and old; Gerard got a book on science that we thought he would enjoy; and gave my mother a painting we'd commissioned of her and my father on their wedding day (although that was mainly from May too!).

Dinner was as big of a feast as I'd been expecting with THREE huge whole turkeys cooked and served for us to enjoy as well as roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, mashed potato, stuffing, and (of course) cranberry sauce. Once we all had a serving of everything, I sent the maids and servers away with it all to be eaten by the staff in the kitchen – we all had such big plates full that there was no chance of anyone wanting seconds anyway – but someone still came about half an hour later with an ignited Christmas pudding which looked absolutely spectacular. We all had a small serving of this (which was more than enough of the rich pudding for me – at least) before we adjourned down to the cinema room which had a few sofas for us to lounge on whilst we watched a few festive favourites.

But, like Christmas every year, it was over too soon and before I knew it we were saying goodbye to everyone again and Maxon and I watched as they all loaded themselves into four cars with their presents outside the main door and waved as they all drove off back home. The palace seemed empty after all the noise and people of the day.

"A few years and it'll be even worse than that." Maxon teased.

"Maybe when we have kids we can have two Christmases. One just us and then another with everyone or else this will quickly get out of hand once all my siblings get married and have children, and your cousins do the same. Before you know it there'll be a hundred of us!" I laughed.

"Deal. But if we're going to have a family Christmas we're going to need some children first." He sang and I laughed. We'd discussed children at length and had decided to wait but that seemed to go out of his head – and mine – sometimes when we talked about the family we both truly longed for.

We went up to bed happily, tired after the long day of festivities and looking forward to the future Christmases with our ever-growing family and I dreamed of the day when we would be discussing what to give our children for their presents.

Merry Christmas to all you lovely people (or whatever else you may celebrate – if nothing, have a good one of those too!). Really wanted to write this one shot and hope you all enjoyed it, please leave a review and let me know if you have any ideas for what I could write about next – Chescaannie xx