TOW the Office Secrets

A/N- So this was originally a silly little one shot which I started many many months ago. It got forgotten, then abandoned and a little bruised, but I've dug it out, given it a little TLC and it's now finally finished. Whoop whoop! It's a tad too long for a oneshot so I've split it into about 5 short chapters.

It's Mondler cliched fluff...one really not to take too seriously! Set in sometime in season 4 when they are both single...yeah I have a comfort zone ;o)

"It wasn't that bad," Rachel insisted as she pushed open the doors to the bar.

"Oh please," Chandler protested. "It was sooo bad and sooo boring that I had to prop open my eyelids just to stay awake."

"I told you it was the ballet."

"All I heard were the words 'women' and 'lycra'."

"Since when did you turn into Joey?" she grinned as they ordered their drinks at the counter. "Plus, you really really helped me look good in front of my boss tonight. She even laughed at your jokes, so thank you, thank you, thank yoooou."

"You owe me," Chandler grouched in reply. Rachel's work had been given complementary tickets to a new ballet production that was in town and Rachel was expected to attend with a guest. However, her date had conveniently cancelled at the last minute, probably realizing what he was signing himself up for. Monica and Phoebe were already busy and Rachel still had issues with Ross, and Joey…no, it wasn't the type of place to take his roommate…he'd either fall asleep and drool or hit on the dancers…or probably both.

So, Rachel had begged, bribed and eventually worn him down. He'd had little choice but to suit-up, shut-up and plaster on a fake smile for the dull stage production. If only it had been Annie.

"I've bought you a drink as promised," she pointed out lifting the glass for emphasis, "and as you were so well-behaved, I'll even set you up on a date with one of my eligible hot friends. Did you see Mel? The red head that sat on the end crying? She's single."

Chandler merely shook his head disinterested. He didn't really want to go on any dates right now but couldn't really tell her that.

"I still think the ballet should be worth more," he protested. "It made one of Ross' lectures on fossils seem like light-hearted entertainment."

"It wasn't that bad," she repeated herself for the tenth time since the show had finished. "You just didn't understand it."

"What's to understand?" he protested, "Boring music, boring dancing, boring -"

"Bing!" He was interrupted by his name being shouted across the bar, turning around he tried to keep the displeasure from his face. Work people. Drunk work people...on a Wednesday night. Great.

"Hey guys," he greeted politely with a tight smile, as they unfortunately continued their approach.

"Wow, Bingo Bongo who's this beauty?" Carl leaned closer to Rachel who gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the man's breath. "How the hell did you land a girl like this? You holding out on us?"

"He didn't 'land' me, I'm just a friend," she informed him with a fake tight smile of her own. "We're neighbors."

"Oh right! Of Course!" she frowned at the look of recognition that passed across their faces. "You're the hot chef that he has the crush on…"

Oh holy crap. Chandler's eyes started to widen in fear.

Maybe, just maybe, luck would be on his side and she wouldn't put two and two together….

"Monica!" Phil clicked his chubby fingers, proud to have remembered the name. "You're that Monica girl! He wasn't exaggerating- you are hot."

This wasn't happening. Dear God, let it be a dream.

"Monica," Carl continued oblivious to Chandler's rising panic, "do us all a favor and just go out with the man. He's not as much of a dork as he appears."

"Could he BE more in love with you," Rob joined in laughing at his own impression, "I can't deal with anymore of his whining. Just date the man. Plu-ease. I will even pay you to just sleep with him once and-"

"Ok, that's enough, thank you," Chandler finally found his voice as he shot up from his stool, "you can all leave now, go," he flustered, practically pushing them away as he started to sweat.

"Sure, whatever, see ya tomorrow, Bing," one saluted while the others laughed and walked off, leaving the pair alone.

Chandler winced, looking down at the ground for a moment, before slowly turning to face Rachel to see the damage. She was smirking. This wasn't good. Not good at all. Damn work people.

"Is there any chance you didn't hear that?" he asked.

"Nope," she grinned as he sighed.

"Is there any chance you can pretend you didn't hear that?" he asked with a grimace, already knowing the answer.

"Nope," her grin got wider.

"Rachel," he whined, "come on you owe me, it's only because of you that we're here at this stupid bar."

"Chandler this is huge!" Rachel exclaimed gesturing wildly with her manicured hands, "humongous!"

"No, no it's not," he panicked, "…it's tiny, minute," he brought his non-manicured thumb and forefinger close to one another to show has how small he felt it was. He really didn't need this right now.

"Pluhease, this is Monica. This is big."

Chandler sighed in defeat, running a hand through his already mussed hair. He had no chance of covering this up. When Rachel got hold of a whiff of gossip there was no stopping her. He knew from experience.

"Fine," he painfully said, knowing there was little point arguing, "but you can't tell any of the others, especially not Monica."

"But Chandler this is big – I have to tell somebody! A crush on Monica!" Rachel protested.

"No you don't," he corrected her with a sigh, "and I don't have a 'crush' on her."

"What?" she asked confused.

"I don't have a crush on her," he repeated softly taking a sip of his drink. "It's gone way past that."

"Really?" she asked excitedly to which he frowned.

"Really," he confirmed, "but it's not a good thing, Rach. She's one of my best friends and has made it clear she will never feel this way about me so-"

"She said that?" Rachel asked shocked. "You've actually spoken to her about this? Why didn't she tell me?"

"Oh, well yeah, see I waited for her one night in her bedroom, completely naked on her bed with a rose between my teeth," he frowned incredulously at her shocked expression. How could the woman miss his sarcasm? "Of course I haven't spoken about this," he snapped, pinching his nose, "but don't you remember the beach? I asked her out like a hundred times and she shot me down every single time. She doesn't think about me that way. Never will."

"I thought you were joking," Rachel admitted. "That was almost a year ago. You've liked her since then?"

"I was kinda joking at the time," Chandler told her with a small shrug. "But the more I thought about it…about her, the more I realized I actually wanted her. Ironic huh? It's slowly got worse and worse through the months but the good news is I'm pretty sure it can't get any deeper or stronger so it will have to start going back in the opposite direction soon...right?"

Rachel offered him a sympathetic smile and patted his knee.

"Is it worth you talking to her?"

"Uh no," he said quickly. "I can do without the pity and awkwardness for just a while longer." She just looked at him and he sighed heavily. "You're one of her best friends, you live with the woman, so you know as well as I do that she doesn't think of me like that, so there's no point in humiliating myself. I'll…get over it – I told you, any day now it will ease off, just wait and see." He prayed he wasn't lying.

She studied him a moment before nodding, "ok," she agreed unconvinced. "Well, let me set you up on that date - it might help you…ya know…move on."

He shrugged non-committedly. She was probably right and he knew that but he really wasn't that interested in dating right now. His head was too filled with thoughts of Monica…and what wonderful thoughts they were. The sweetest kind of torture.

"You haven't even told Joey?" She asked curiously interrupting the said thoughts.

"Nope," he shrugged easily. "He's part of the group – it complicates things and besides the man hates secrets. That's why I talked to work people. No one was ever meant to meet them… just a bit of harmless office banter…they were 'safe'…"

"Yeah," she mused, understanding. Work people were usually safe…harmless.

"Oh my god you guys, guess what?" Rachel practically squealed as she got to her office desk the next morning. Keeping it a secret all night had been tough but these were work people- even Chandler admitted they were safe….harmless.

"Ooh, what?" Rosa asked sensing gossip.

"You know my friend Chandler?"

"The sexy Italian?" Louise asked.

"No that's Joey," Pam dismissed. "Chandler's the gay looking one."

"Yep, that one." Rachel tried not to laugh. "Well, I found out last night that he's totally in love with Monica."

"OMG!" Louise was shocked.

"That's so exciting," Rosa commented.

"Does she like him?" Pam asked. "Would they make a good couple?"

"I guess," Rachel hadn't really thought about it. "I could see them together. He thinks the world of her and would treat her really well. He can be really sweet in a relationship."

"Awww!"

"He's cute," Rosa commented.

"And funny," Louise pointed out, "well if you have that type of humor. I think she should go for it."

"Definitely," Pam agreed.

"Well she-" Rachel started but was interrupted by her boss calling her into the office. With a sigh she followed orders, ignoring as her phone started ringing. "Rosa can you-"

"Got it," Rosa smiled reaching over and picking up the phone. "Rachel Green's phone. Monica!" she gasped excitedly drawing the attention of the other girls. "We were just talking about ya girl."

"Really?" Monica asked surprised.

"Oh yeah, this is juicy stuff, hun. I think you should totally go for it. He's a cutie and Louise thinks he's funny. And he obviously adores you! Now, don't let Rachel put you off as it went wrong with her and Ross. Nothing can be better than being in a relationship with your best friend."

"I, uh-" Monica had no idea what they were talking about.

"Just give him a chance," Rosa pleaded, before noticing Rachel coming back into the office. "Rachel its Monica! I was just telling her-"

Rachel snatched the phone away quickly. "She doesn't know!" Rachel hissed although Monica heard every word. "He hasn't told her yet." Taking a deep breath she put on an extra fake cheery voice. "Hey Monica."

"What don't I know?"

"Is there any chance you didn't hear that?" Rachel winced, using Chandler's words from last night.

"Rachel." She used that tone.

"I'm not meant to tell you," Rachel whined.

"Look I was ringing to see if you wanted to meet up for lunch. Now it's not optional!"

"Mon-"

"12 o'clock at O'Maileys."

"Fine," she sighed hanging up and turning to her colleagues. "Great. Thanks a lot, now Chandler's gonna kill me."

"Are you going to tell her?" Pam asked.

"I have to…I think…," Rachel winced. "I mean, it's Monica. I can't lie to her, right?"

As the women nodded understandingly, Rachel threw herself into her work, trying to put the impending lunch at the back of her mind.

Damn work people.

TBC...

A bit of a shortie but seemed a good place to stop. The other chapters should be a bit chunkier and should be updated quickly. On a sidenote, if anyone noticed the similarities between this opening and that of discovering us, this one was actually started first but the rest is different...accept for Mondler getting together in the end...but that's a given right?

As always any feedback would be much appreciated.