A/N: WELL, this turned out to be much longer than I had ever expected. I intend for this to be the finale chapter for 'Trace'... to be continued in another story? I guess we will have to see! Thank you kindly for all of the view, reviews and comments, I read each one and it is nice to know that someone enjoys reading as much as I enjoy writing these two! Thanks as well to those that stuck with me, even after my muse abandoned me - she is back with a vengeance, so I intend to take full advantage!

The end is a quote from a fantastic writer called Nikita Gill, who has many works that fit both Tony and Ziva separately, and together. She has a great tumblr called meanwhilepoetry that I would definitely suggest checking out.

See you on the other side!

Ziva sat outside the apartment block for what seemed an age, before plucking up the courage to venture inside. Carefully climbing the stairs, she approached Tony's door, surprised when it was already propped open. She froze at the raised voices on the other side, taking a few steps back.

" Look, I didn't mean for this to happen like this, you gotta believe me on that one."

" I don't know what to believe anymore, Tony. First the shooting, then the sudden soul searching, and now you are off on an open ended trip to Europe, just like that!"

" I think they're all kind of intertwined personally…"

Ziva leant against the wall, closing her eyes as the arguing continued. Zoe sounded furious, and this was not an argument she wished to witness.

" Yeah, well, when you find whatever it is you think you're going to in Europe, don't bother letting me know. Especially if it's the bed sheets of various Italian women."

There was a scoff from Tony, and another thud against the floor; a bag being packed.

" Zoe, it is definitely not about that."

" So it's about you running from your problems then. That's great. Tell you what, don't bother calling when you get back. I am nobody's second choice, Tony. We could have had something good together."

" I know." He did sound genuinely apologetic, to his credit. " I appreciate the good times we had together, and I'm truly sorry for putting you through this. I don't want to-"

" To lead me on. Yeah, Tony, I heard you the first time. Can't help but feel I'm still being led on, but I suppose that just goes with the territory."

There was a pregnant pause, more shuffling sounding from inside the apartment, before the door was thrown fully open, Ziva ducking down the side wall to hide.

" Well, I guess this is goodbye."

" Yeah, I suppose it is."

" If I find anything that is yours, I'll-"

" Chuck it. If I haven't missed it already, it ain't important."

" Can't help but feel there's a metaphor in that…"

Zoe scoffed slightly, before storming off, footsteps echoing down the corridor as she did so, Tony's door closing as she did. Ziva waited for her footsteps to disappear, before approaching the white door, hesitating, before knocking. There was an audible groan from inside, footsteps heading for the door.

" Zoe, look, I think it's better if we just-" He fell silent as he opened the door, eyes falling on his guest. " Agent David. Sorry, I was just…"

" I know. I heard."

" Oh. Eavesdropping's still a hobby then, huh?"

There was a flush of red about her cheeks, before she snapped back. " I did not eavesdrop, I was simply coming to visit you."

Tony raised an eyebrow, watching her. " To visit me? Well, I don't need any visitors, so you know, the door's that way." He turned, shutting the door as he did, Ziva wedged her foot between it and the doorframe. Tony groaned turning back to her, as she pushed the door back open.

" Tony. Please. I wish to speak to you."

He looked at her, before letting go of the door with a sigh, opening it wide enough to allow her to slip inside, before closing it once more. " So, what's this about? You've been pestering me enough all week, you and McGossip. Told you last time we talked, I don't need mothered."

" This is not about mothering! This about friends, friends who care for each other." She paused, licking her lips nervously, before continuing. " Friends who stop each other from making mistakes they will regret."

" Ah. So you've heard then." Tony sauntered over to the counter, picking up his beer and taking a swig. " McGee'll make an excellent Senior Agent, he's been probie'd for long enough."

" And do you really think this is right? You disappearing off to another continent, giving up your life here?"

" Well, it seemed to be the right choice when you made it, Zee-vah." It was said with none of the tenderness that had been apparent the last time they had spoken; this time it was sarcastic, almost bitter. She bristled at his words, pursing her lips.

" I was returning home. Not to a foreign country."

" I thought we were your home. Wasn't that what your new passport said?" Ziva flinched at the last statement, licking her lips once again. It was clear, despite their conversation at Gibbs', he was still angry.

" This is not about me, Tony. This is about you. You were always good at deflecting your problems, but this time, this is about you."

" Mh." She got no other reply than that, as he disappeared back through to the kitchen. She sighed irritably, glancing around, noticing that the room bore three large suitcases, as well as various piles of clothing.

" You cannot be serious about this."

" Oh…" Tony reappeared, leaning against the doorframe. " Deadly. I don't see what the problem is. I think it'll be good for me."

Ziva approached him, face set in a scowl. " And what about everyone else, huh?" Tony considered her for a moment, raising an eyebrow.

" You didn't seem to when you didn't want to be found."

" I did what I did to protect those that I cared about! I needed to hide, I needed to return to Israel, to find who I was! To stop myself from becoming a monster, slipping further into that abyss! I had just lost my father, and I needed to know who and what I was!"

" So I guess I didn't factor into who you were, then. Guess I just wasn't important enough. Would explain the lack of communication. Not more subtle a way to send a hint than to not speak to someone for several years."

The comment knocked the wind from her, and she stared at him, taken aback by the hurt and anger that it spoke. It took her a moment, before she laughed slightly, looking at him, biting back the lump in her throat that threatened to betray her.

" You thought you were not important, Tony? You thought that I did not live in a state of guilt, of heart break, for making the decision that I did? Did you really think that I could just forget you? Forget what had happened, forget the years we spent together, forget what you put yourself through to save me from myself, multiple times? That you repeatedly put yourself last, and me first, that you risked everything from your job to your life to save me? How could I forget that?" She laughed slightly, swallowing, before quickly wiping at her eyes, straightening up. " Like you, Tony, I do not forget. I also have regrets, and I genuinely thought I was doing the best thing by leaving. Now, it seems, perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps I did not have to leave to find myself. Perhaps those traces, those lines so delicately drawn on my heart, they could have been what saved me." She was silent, not looking at him, frowning before she continued. " I do not want our family to lose you. I do not want to lose you again, Tony."

" You don't get to make that decision."

" I am trying to help you!" Her patience snapped, and she grabbed him by the shirt, the very ghost of tears forming in the corners of her eyes. " You are hurting people by leaving! Not just me! You are hurting yourself, and for what?! To prove what?!" Tony looked down at her, a flash of anger in his own eyes, and he snapped a reply, ignoring the roar in his head that this was wrong, that this argument was wrong, the tears on her eyes were wrong wrong wrong.

" Because I want to. Because I want to do what I think is best for me, for once. Why can't you let me have that, huh? I left you! You asked, and I left. I told you I was fighting for you, I begged for you to come home with me, and still, when you asked, I honoured your request, and I got on that damn plane!" He bit back the rapidly rising lump in his throat, choking out a response. " And it was the hardest 180 of my life after all. I barely slept. I drank. I missed you, Ziva. Every second of every damn day. Leaving you was the most unnatural thing in the world. I failed. I failed you, I failed me, I failed us. All because you asked me to. And I'd do it again, over and over, if you asked me. I would trace those lines again, because that is what love is. Letting something that you love go, and if it doesn't come back, it was never yours."

" And yet…" her voice was tiny, her hands slowly letting go of his shirt, " here I am."

He stared at her, dark eyes meeting his, and he grabbed her. It was instinctive, something primal, that he could not compete with or ignore. A hand curled into her hair, fingers tangling in the soft curls, the other finding her cheek, cupping her face, as their lips crashed together, hungry, urgent. She grabbed him once more, a hand curling in his shirt, the other drifting from his cheek, along his jaw, and settling on his collarbone. They parted slowly, almost regretfully, Tony's hand lingering on her cheek. Ziva looked up at him, opening her mouth to speak, before her lip started to tremble, and she gave way to the falling tears, a sob escaping her. He said nothing, simply pulling her against his chest, burying his face against her head, breathing her in, and hushing her gently.

They stayed that way for a long time, until Ziva's breaths had evened out, and she slowly pulled away enough to look up at him, eyes rimmed red, his thumb wiping the last of the tears from her cheeks.

" Zi…I've gotta go…"

She nodded wordlessly, biting her lip and biting back the next tear that threatened, before gently pushing herself away from him, composing herself as best she could. She glanced around the flat, before looking back at him, her eyes speaking words she could not. Tony gave her a small, sad smile, before tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

" Be back before you know it." Ziva nodded, taking a deep breath, before he continued. " Besides, you have a new life to build once more, DC to rediscover."

" I said I was giving up the badge, Tony, a long time ago."

" You went back to Mossad…" She bristled at his comment, and he hastily continued. " But that means you have a year to decide what you are going to do with your life."

" If I choose to stay or not." He stared at her, feeling his stomach flip, before nodding slowly.

" Or what job you want to do when you do stay…Told you before, you can bag groceries for all I care." That earned him a gentle chuckle from her, and she looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes that he had not seen for many, many years.

" I suppose we shall see, won't we? You will need to come back first." Tony shrugged with a chuckle, offering her a soft smirk.

" I'll just have to leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind me to follow home, won't I?"

He left early, the morning sun still bright when the roar of the engines broke the serene calm, and with a glint, the jet disappeared into the sky, leaving behind only a trail of vapour. She watched it climb higher and higher, until she could see it no more, and only then did she turn and head back to the carpark. Once she was safely in the car, she allowed herself to cry, to finally let the mask slip. The letter in her hand had explicit instructions not to be opened until 8.31am (exactly, she noted), and as the clock on her dashboard changed, she carefully opened it. Inside was a detailed list of place names and dates: Naples, Rome, Ankara, Crete, Rota, Marseille, London, the list went on. She memorised it, soaking in the details, the trace of his aftershave lingering on the paper. At the bottom, in his familiar looping scrawl, was written a short message, that made the smile on her face grow, a tear trickling down her cheek and hitting the paper.

In all this noise that makes up my life, you are the silence I have always craved. - T x