This is the FINAL CHAPTER and honey the ending ain't happy

If I followed the pattern this should be Wally's perspective but its not

This is Robins POV

Here I am, spending time with all my friends. Having a good time. Watching a movie and stuffing my face with junk food and chugging carbonated drinks. Here I am being pulled into a kitchen by a girl my age whose intentions I know all too well. Here I am dancing around with said girl while the wickedness pours from her eyes and mouth as she stares at me and grins. Here I am getting a peck on the lips from that wicked girl, embarrassing me enough for one night. And yet, it doesn't end there. Here I am, watching in horror, as this redheaded boy with the smile I adore approaches me. Here I am, being forced to look him in the eye. I don't see that smile anymore. All I see is evil. Lust. A savage hunger. Here I am being pulled into yet another kiss, longer and harder. Here I am hesitating, worried by the gasps from around the room.

Here I am. Pushing him away.

Why? Isn't this what you wanted?

I don't know who that voice in my head is but it's the only thing I can hear. Everything else is ringing. The look on Wally's face is somewhere between confusion and betrayal. I want to apologize to him, but I currently seem incapable of processing words. Or doing anything, besides shaking. I don't even spare a glance at Zatanna or anyone else in the room. I'm trying really hard to focus but the room won't stop spinning. I feel nauseous and sweat is pouring off of me. I don't dare take a step to keep from falling over. Quick thinker that I am, it still took too long for my liking to figure out what was going on.

I'm having a panic attack.

This isn't something that happens often for me. I can only remember a few instances where it happened in the past and it never took me by surprise. I can anticipate these things, because I know what sets me off. It's only ever happened before on the anniversary of my parents death, but only when I've allowed it to. I can feel it starting whenever I replay the events of that day in my mind, so I suppress that until I'm alone. It might sound stupid, but it's the only way I can cope. Bruce's string of therapists were easily fooled that I was fine. I have always been able to take care of things myself.

But I'm not alone now. They're all here. Watching me. Seeing this weakness in me for the first time. It must be obvious at this point. Even from 20 feet away you could probably see me shaking and my deep breathing. Why isn't anyone saying anything? Don't they care? Are they just too shocked? No. They're all in the kitchen now. Lips moving. I can't hear what they're saying but they look concerned. I need to focus. I don't need them for this, but it's too late now. They're already in.

"I need to sit down" Is all I manage to get out. I don't take any of the hands offered to me and push past them all as I say this to sit down on the couch. I stare off at a point in space, breathing in and out. Just keep breathing, and it'll be over soon. Someone sits next to me, but I don't look to see who it is. They grab my hand, but I pull away. Can't they see I need to concentrate? They can't touch me or it's going to make it harder.

They're gonna think you're a freak, if they didn't already.

The voice isn't leaving and it's rattling my skull with every word. I ignore it to the best of my ability and keep focused on that same point in space. Breathe in. Breathe out. As usual, I'm already recovering. The ringing stops and I can hear everyone else around me again. The nausea hasn't left and I'm still sweating like a pig. I can't believe I let this happen. I could have done something to stop one or both of those two. I guess I never considered that being kissed like that in front of everyone would cause this kind of reaction from me.

Then again. Zatanna's wasn't as bad. I'd been embarrassed then but I wasn't in a state of panic. I didn't feel all this anxiety until that speedy bastard decided now was a good time to mess around with me. I felt as though I was a prey and he was a sadistic predator, toying with his meal before devouring it. I was already uncomfortable with that oblivious bitch bubbling around me all night without Wally touching me and whispering horrific things to me with everyone else right there. I never expected him to outright kiss me in front of everyone but here we are.

But that's what you wanted.

No it's not.

You wanted him to like you.

Yes. I didn't want him to play with my feelings.

Here I am, arguing with the voice in my head. Thank god I hadn't said anything out loud. I heard M'gann ask if she should try and help with telepathic powers, and thankfully Superboy provided a negative response. Turns out the person next to me was Aqualad. I feel kind of guilty for pulling away from him now. He hadn't done anything wrong. He wasn't the one playing mind games with a 13 year old for his own amusement.

Where are all these vicious ideas coming from? Isn't Wally your friend?

The voice had a mocking tone to it, like it was happy to see me reach this conclusion. But it all made sense to me now. I finally understood it. Regardless of whatever upset him earlier, why would he rub himself all over me and cuddle me only to dash away at the last minute? He told our secret spot to Artemis who was probably his girlfriend or at least fuck buddy. That's why she was acting so strange. I felt as though she knew something that I didn't and she did. That awful girl was in on the whole thing. They both probably sat around and laughed at how gullible I was.

Everything was so clear to me now. He was always so friendly with me it was borderline flirtatious and it was on purpose. For fun. As a joke. That's all I was to him. A joke. Something he could point at and laugh about. Ha ha. And to think I wanted to apologize to him. How could I have been so blind? So STUPID?

Watching me squirm on the couch must have made him horny so he decided he wanted some action. If I hadn't stopped the kiss, who knows how far he would have gone. Touching me and making me look like his little boy toy. Was he gay? Bi? Something else? It didn't matter because he was only interested in making himself feel good. Using me to boost his ego and put himself sky high. Am I really that naive? Tears formed in my eyes as the shaking and sweating faded away leaving an emptiness and an upset stomach.

I stood up and slowly started walking out of the room. Aqualad stood up and reached out his arm to stop me but I evaded his grasp and turned to face him. He looked more worried than I had ever seen him. More worried than on our most dangerous mission. Behind him, M'gann comforted a crying Zatanna while Connor appeared indifferent and Roy looked uncomfortable. I didn't feel like explaining anything to them right now, but I didn't want to say nothing. As far as I could tell they weren't in on the joke at my expense, so I shouldn't hold any hostility towards them.

"I'm sorry. I'm going home. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." It wasn't very convincing but it was the best I could do. I didn't wait for a response from anyone before I hurried to the Zeta Tubes. I heard voices coming from the briefing room where the tubes are located and for once, I prayed it was the sinister voice inside my head.

Nope. Guess again.

Of course it was the only people missing from the living room. The two offenders themselves. Artemis and Wally. What a perfect couple. Both despicable enough to deserve each other. I was already in front of the Zeta Tubes before they noticed me. I could have made it without them hearing me at all (slipping away quietly is something I excel at), but I wasn't ready to leave yet. Just before I stepped through to be teleported back home, I turned to look directly at both of them. Artemis was more startled than Wally and was too shocked to say anything, but that douche bag had something to say. I didn't give him the chance or the satisfaction.

All I gave him was both my middle fingers before being transported away.

Hope you enjoyed the story. Sorry the ending wasn't happy. Thanks for reading :)