Remus had yet to speak a word despite the profanities being spilled by the witch on his shoulder.

"I swear to Merlin, Remus John Lupin, if you don't put me down this instant, I'll forget I don't want to hurt you." She could make him drop her, but that would involve her wand and harming the man, she tried to remind herself, that she loved. Also, said wand was in her back pocket and her hand had been slapped out of the way at every attempt to reach it.

As it was, they had already arrived at Grimmauld Place and it appeared the werewolf was satisfied with their location, given that he finally put her down when they made it to the Black library.

"Explain yourself this instant!" she demanded.

It was hard fighting so many different emotions and reactions to the turn of events. She was angry he had showed up and simply carried her like a sack of flour without her consent, angry he hadn't said a word since he appeared out of nowhere, angry he thought he had the right to burst into someone else's flat like that, angry..

Angry at herself, because she had no idea what to say to the man in front of her. Other than righteous indignation to the whole affront, she felt guilty. So guilty.

"We are going to talk," he said in an unrelenting manner.

"And this couldn't wait till morning?" She was stalling, she knew that, but she couldn't think of a better tactic at the moment. Stall, figure out what you want to say and say it. Easy, right?

"What could possibly be so important?" She demanded.

"Maybe the fact that my best friend is in a state of inebriation I haven't seen him in years. That the only thing he'll give as a reply to any inquiry is 'She was perfection.'.

"Or perhaps the fact that I waited for hours at the Burrow only to be shut down by Harry, telling me to stay away without any explanation." He was seething, his magic appeared to be humming all around him, giving a sense of warmth to the room. He continued before she could get a word in.

"Why exactly did I need to stay away? Why in Merlin's name happened in that brilliant head of yours that made you want to run? And then what possessed you to make you avoid me and Sirius as a result?" Remus wasn't shouting, be the sheer force with which he enunciated every word spoke volumes.

"I.."

"This is not like you, Hermione. You don't run from things, much less from us. You run face first into adversity, not that I can think of anything that could have given you the impression that you were facing a perilous situation," Remus sounded incredulous and angry. He had a right to be if she was honest with herself.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Remus Lupin. Or any man, for that matter!" However, she didn't have to tell him that.

"Behave like the woman you are, Hermione. Talk! Tell me what the fuck is the matter!"

"I don't want to!"

"Tell me"

"You can't make me!"

They were inches apart, each with a small snarl on their face. She hadn't noticed they'd gotten closer as they shouted but now she could see the small tint of green in his eyes, a dead giveaway that the man was more wolfish than usual.

"I would never try to make you do something you didn't want to do." The softness in his voice surprised her. After the shouting he sounded a bit hoarse but the vulnerability in his statement was unmistakable.

And then they were kissing. Her defensive stance fell instantly and she was lost. The kiss sucked the air right out of her lungs, almost making her forget how to breathe. There was a desperation to their movements, an erratic pace they didn't seem to mind.

Remus tasted like strong Ale, rich and bitter. She could let him run his tongue over her bottom lip for the rest of her lif-

"No," she said pushing him away forcefully. He didn't fight her but he was definitely… affected. His eyes were a deep amber colour and he was breathing through his nostrils, jaw clenched.

"This is wrong." She finally found her tongue but those simple three words felt like a slap even to herself.

"Why? Why is it wrong, Hermione?" He demanded shortly.

"I said I didn't want to talk!" She half shouted.

"We can't postpone this conversation forever, Hermione." His voice almost sounded feral and she could tell he was fighting for control.

"I know, but I find that I'm still looking for the right words. It won't be much of a conversation if I'm silent throughout, will it?" She bit out.

The werewolf was clearly frustrated, he huffed and puffed and somewhere deep inside her brain she could appreciate the joke. The thought that the full moon was the next day wasn't lost on her either.

"I'm not trying to hurt you or be obtuse, Remus." She could understand his frustration. She was frustrated with herself too. "I'm just trying to figure out what is it that I want so I can say it properly. Words can hurt too, I don't want to say something I don't mean or say something that'll hurt you because I didn't stop to think what I was going to say. Think before you speak. I just… take a little longer thinking, that's all."

"That would be an understatement." He was not mullified in the least by her explanation. "You are running, Hermione. Hiding like a schoolgirl instead of facing this like the woman you are, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why!" His hair bouncing with all his wild gesturing.

"Try to tell me again how a woman ought to act again and see what happens," she said, her voice low and threatening.

"Then tell why you won't talk to me!"

"Because I'm in love with you, you moron!" she bellowed, hyperventilating. The adrenaline and panic setting in. Fight or flight.

Fight or flight?, she asked herself.

Remus' body seemed to have lost all the weight it was carrying. From Atlas to a pliant mass of man he could not hide the massive relief that overtook his body. Hermione felt like crying, not expecting such a strong and obvious reaction. Despite the fact that he had yet to move or reply anything she felt safe. He would never hurt her.

The werewolf was by her side in a matter of seconds. Holding her head against his chest, she went rigid for a moment before loosening up. Finding her breathing had normalized during the minutes he'd been holding her, her heartbeat synchronizing with his.

"Then what in the world is holding you back, love?" Remus couldn't stay silent any longer. She loved him. She was in love with him. All his fears had been for naught and he felt hopeful again. Things might just work out from here.

Hermione's brain was working on the opposite direction. Why had she told him? She'd never be able to take that back, not that she actually wanted to. She had soothed his worries only to break his heart in the following sentence. What kind of person was she? What was holding her back, Remus had asked.

Sirius.

"I'm a horrible person, Remus," was all Hermione could manage to say.

"No. You're the best person. You're my favourite person," said Remus, all the tenderness in the world contained in those words.

The delicacy with which he held her was almost painful. How could she do this to this man? This wonderful man, he was such a dream. Remus Lupin was more than any one woman could ask for, and here he was, asking her why she would deny him.

Harry had been right, she was being greedy. She wanted too much. It wasn't fair to either of them.

"I'm also in love with someone else," Hermione said, half whispering, against his chest.

Remus' body didn't react to her statement, his chest just kept moving at the normal pace of his breathing. Hermione couldn't see his face, it was impossible to get an idea of what he was thinking.

"And you love him more than me, is that it?" he asked calmly.

"No."

"Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Are you looking for an open relationship?"

"No!" She tried to fight his arms off but he wouldn't let go. How could she explain? She couldn't say it. How could she say it?

"What do you want, Hermione?" Remus asked. His voice was slightly more forceful.

"I don't know."

"What do you want?!"

"I want you both! Alright?" She yelled, finally prying herself free of his embrace. "I can't choose and I won't be with you if I can't also be with him. Is that clear enough for you, Remus?"

"I fell in love with your best friend and I had sex with him earlier today and afterwards all I could think about was you." Hermione was getting worked up now, flailing her arms about as she spoke. "I felt like I had cheated on you or deceived you somehow. The guilt was eating me alive so I left! I can't and I won't be with either as long as I have feelings for the other."

"Hermio—"

"I know, I'm a lunatic. We're not even dating. I do realise that a few heated kisses don't mean anything but they meant something to me and—"

"Hermione, pleas—"

"No! You wanted me to talk? Now shut up and listen! I left that beautiful man alone in a bed because I couldn't bear the look on his face, when all I could hear in my head was your name! I won't come between you two, I would never forgive myself! I'll move out, I'll stay with the twins for a—"

"NO! Hermione, just listen—"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE, SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!"

Sirius had walked into the library, a little worse for wear, what looked like an empty bottle hangover potion in his hand. It amazed her how he could look just as attractive when his hair was tussled, with bloodshot eyes and wrinkled clothes.

"I… I…" Hermione was at a loss for words.

"You told him about what happened, then?" Sirius asked, drowsy.

Silence reigned for a moment.

"I'll take that as a yes," Sirius drawled. "As far as I can tell you want to be with me and you want to be with Remus."

At Hermione's continued silence, Sirius said, "Now, I want you to be your best logical-self and list out the reasons why that can't happen."

"I can't be with both of you," Hermione said simply.

"Tell me why?"

"Because... I can't be with both of you," she repeated stunned.

"I heard you the first time. What I want to know is why exactly can't you be with both of us?"

"Because…" she started. "Because…" But Hermione was at a loss.

All that had happened that day came back to her. What happened with Remus, what happened with Sirius, the conversation with the twins…

The conversation with the twins.

After all that had happened, after being briefed, as it were, she was still operating under the assumption that society rules applied here. They didn't. The only reason people refrained from having a triadic or even polyamorous relationships was that most people wouldn't consent to such arrangements.

But these men… the two beautiful men she was in love with, that she had been in love with for the past two years even as she denied it to herself… they didn't seem keen on denying her.

In fact, if Fred and George were to be believed, and she did believe them, then their lifestyle matched perfectly with her desires.

And so she asked.

"Can you think of a reason why I could or should be with you both?"

"I can think of many reasons, probably hundreds, in fact, but I'll stay with the main one: I want it," replied Sirius, the earnest look in his eyes squeezed her heart in a painful and delightful way.

"And so do I," added Remus after a moment.

Her brain wasn't processing this correctly, it couldn't be. This morning both men were avoiding her, or so it seemed, and now this… this… turn of events felt entirely too impossible.

Sirius walked to the cupboard, swaying slightly, pulled out a Sober Up potion and drowned it in a second. Grimacing but with a focussed expression he sat on the couch, next to where she was standing and motioned for her to join him. Remus sat in the coffee table in front of them both.

Hermione, a little stunned, sat but remained in silence, not sure what to do how to handle the still developing situation.

"Years ago, Sirius and I were in love with the same girl. Marlene was a Gryffindor in our year and during our Hogwarts years she dated us on and off independently, always to the same conclusion." Remus was calm as he started the story, looking into her with an intensity that made her dizzy.

"We dated other women while we weren't dating her, but it became apparent to me after we graduated that for some reason we seemed to be drawn to each other. One day Sirius and I got drunk and started talking about the strange dynamic we had developed with her and we admitted to not being jealous of the other where Marlene was concerned." Remus looked at Sirius with a fondness that melted her heart, before continuing. "In fact, we noted that there was never any awkwardness when Marlene happened to be dating the other and the three of us always seemed to be spending more time with each other than with the rest of the group."

"You mean when Marlene deigned to give us the time of day," Sirius amended with a smile.

"True, true," Remus acquiesced with a smile of his own. "I also noticed that whenever I dated women other than Marlene, not that there were many, my insecurities suddenly became harsher and stronger and ended up ruining most of my relationships before they had a chance to become anything."

"Ever the observant werewolf, he also noticed that when I dated women other than Marlene I was callus and rash, not mindful to their feelings or even my own," said Sirius.

"So, without really meaning to, after graduation, Marlene, Sirius and I started spending more and more time together. At some point Sirius stopped seeing other women, as did I, and Marlene finally had enough and told us we clearly worked better as a unit. The three of us," finished Remus, eyes, back on Hermione.

"And we did, we operated as a unit until a few weeks before she passed," said Sirius.

"Before she passed? You mean you weren't together then?" The twins had said they had been together up until her death.

"Life wasn't the simplest those days. The war was heating up and trust was hard. We barely spent any time together and sometimes we wouldn't speak for weeks. We each had our assignments and a relationship like ours… it can't work without constant communication and trust." Remusus eyes were boring in on her again and she felt ashamed of fleeing the Weasley's and then again by going to stay with Fred and George.

"I had no way of knowing you two had this dynamic or even if you were open to one. I didn't know if I was open to it. I was trying to figure out what I wanted before I came here and vomited a million words out with no apparent relation to each other," she acknowledged.

"As far as I knew, you were both in the dark, pursuing me independently and I was playing you both. I didn't mean to, I really didn't mean to. It was just impossible to fend off any advances from either of you because I had wanted them for so very long," she ground out, frustrated with herself, even as her actions didn't seem to be a problem now.

"I didn't even know if either of you were interested!" she exclaimed, growing agitated again.

"Hermione, while our advances may have happened all at once, but this has hardly come out of nowhere, has it?" Remus asked softly.

"You've been avoiding me for the better part of this past month, Remus, you can't tell me my insecurities were misplaced" she admonished.

"I know for a fact we've been both avoiding the impulse to jump you, thinking our sweet, little innocent roommate didn't realise the utter torture she was putting us through… until today, that is."

The grin Sirius wore in that moment should have been illegal. There had to be some sort of law about public decency or something that penalized such utter and blatant sex displayed on one's face. There had to be.

"And even if we were avoiding you, I can say my feelings for you have been developing since you moved in. Honestly though, I would never have imagined you to be interested in me, let alone consider being our third," confessed Remus.

"I… I don't know what to say. I don't think my brain has really caught up to all that has happened today."

Hermione was astonished she could form a sentence.

"How about we go to bed…" Before she could panic or even consider what that could mean, Sirius finished saying, "... and get some sleep? We can talk discuss this in the morning. It's been a long day, don't you think?"

He was smiling at her like he knew. Like he knew exactly what was going on in her brain, as if he could transcribe word by word the very slow processing of information happening in her brain. He was smiling and looking at her like he understood, like he understood and he didn't care, like he would still be there when her brain finally decided to catch up with her.

It was almost too much.

Almost.

"I think that's a good idea," was her only reply.

As if in a daze, Sirius and Remus led her by both hands to Sirius' room. They took their respective shirts off as well as their trousers, and they remained in only their boxers. Sirius grabbed one of his band t-shirts, though she couldn't really tell which one at that moment, gently proceeded to take off her shirt and her black jeans and replaced them with his t-shirt.

Before she knew it, she was in the middle of the bed, wrapped between the arms of both wizards. As Hermione let the sheer contentment wash over her, she fell prey to exhaustion and sleep, for some reason Merlin came to the forefront of her mind.