A/N: Took me a long time, but here it is! This chapter did not want to be written. The end of DA sort of changed things and I'm really not sure how much more I'll write, but I'll definitely try! Meanwhile, I hope you'll enjoy the ending of this little journey. Let me know your thoughts!

Chapter 5: Another World

Present Day

The New Year brought changes, though they were all welcome. It was almost as if John and Anna had returned to the way they were before; a night was rarely spent without the other, not one day passed that they didn't talk or meet for lunch or dinner. It was all too easy to slip back into the normal and ordinary life they led before, talking of silly, simple things that happened during their days.

Tomorrow he would start working again. Anna had invited him to dinner, but the snow outside made them decide against going out. They ordered pizza and he had initially thought about going home earlier - prepare properly for tomorrow, make sure he wouldn't forget anything. But the evening soon found them in bed together, the sweat on their bodies mingling and their gasps turning louder. It would be very hard to go back to the flat now, he knew that - it was almost odd to still have his own place when he spent most of his time at hers. But it was too soon to do anything else.

The bathroom door opened with a click and Anna appeared, freshly clean now, and very much naked. John was resting his head on his arm, on a pillow, and the comforter wasn't doing much to hide his modesty. Anna threw a soft, well-worn white shirt on - it had been a favourite of his, years ago, and now it was a favourite of hers to sleep in. She looked amazing like this - her face masked in the afterglow of lovemaking, eyes full of life, the shirt covering her very fine behind but still making her legs look amazing.

She laughed as she joined him in bed. "I'm quite good at looking seductive, aren't I?"

John merely chuckled as she scooted closer to him, sharing his pillow. He turned his body towards her, lying on his side. "I'd say you are. You look sexy in anything," he gave her a kiss. "Well, anything and nothing."

Anna giggled. The shirt she was wearing shifted and he settled his hands against the warm skin of her lower back. "Well, nothing suits you too," she noted his state of undress. Her hands lovingly ran through his hair. She kissed him again, very softly. "You've been quiet today."

John smiles. "I am quiet."

But Anna shakes her head. "Not lately. Not with me," the only light in the bedroom came from Anna's bedside lamp, and it made her eyes look even brighter than usual. "Are you worried about tomorrow?"

John exhales slowly. "Not particularly. Just," he started, a little unsure of what to say, "it'll be weird, going back. Working. Lately, it's as if… Almost as if I've never left. And I know that's a good thing but… It's odd."

Anna nodded, but gave him a small smile. "That's called moving on, you know," she teased, but turned serious the next moment. "I do understand. You feel like you're forgetting what you went through. But you never truly do. Life moves on and you move with it, but you don't forget."

"Yes," he agreed, squeezing her waist.

She took a deep breath, then looked at him again. "I bought a little plush monkey, you know."

John arched his eyebrows, taken aback by the revelation. But Anna was smiling. "Really?"

She let out a laugh. "Really. I had just found out, about the pregnancy. And I was walking down the street and saw this shop and the little monkey was by the window- I don't know, I just had to buy it. Baby's first toy. I carried it with me, in my bag, I'm not sure why. I just did."

"It was a reminder," he said.

Her eyes lit up in recognition. "Yes, exactly. No one knew I had it, but it was there. Even after it happened, I'd change bags and keep it inside. It's very cute," she reasoned, her hands playing with his chest hair. "And anyway, I bought a new bag a few weeks ago, and I had to change again, and this time I looked at the little monkey and realised that I had sort of forgotten about it. It made me feel guilty."

"You're not," John said, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek.

Anna nodded immediately. "Yes, I know. I just realised that, for the first time, I hadn't thought about it for a few days. The monkey and what it represented. I took it out of the bag and it's now in the guest bedroom, looking very much out of place, if I'm honest," they shared a quick laugh. "It's not forgotten. It's there. I just don't have to carry it with me all the time."

She let out a little sigh, and he could tell she was doing her best to be strong. His heart swelled with love.

"I named him Bob," she said after a moment, laughing. "It almost feels like a dream. That I bought it."

John smiled. It made perfect sense, of course. He had always admired Anna's strength and the way she carried through life - when they met, it was something that they had in common - they led quiet lives, a little lonely sometimes, with very few living relatives. But while he had been more quiet, pensive, and sometimes negative, Anna could always see the good in almost every situation. She was vivacious and joyful, and whenever he was with her he felt alive. He was happy - so, so happy - that she was slowly but surely getting back to her old self.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked, with a smile herself.

"I love you," he said simply. "Have I said that today?"

"Mmm, you might have said it, just a little while ago," her eyes were twinkling. "But I couldn't hear you properly. You've always been quite good with your hands."

He felt his face warm up. "Well, I'm glad."

Anna giggled. "So am I."

He couldn't help but groan, pulling her closer. "You naughty girl."

He stopped her giggling with a kiss.

It was odd, going back to work. John felt uneasy - he hadn't practiced medicine since Africa. He was a pediatric Doctor, but for now his work would be in the clinic, taking care of mild cases that weren't any emergencies. It suited him.

He used to have an office, being the head of the pediatric department, but after a year away, he wouldn't get it back for a while. He did smile upon checking his old stuff, now stored in the locker room with the other doctors. A small plush bear he usually carried in his white coat pocket, a good alternative to distract the children. Pens and pencils, a few books, and a picture of Anna. He decided to put it in his pocket too, just to give him some luck - not that he believed in it. If his demeanor was responsible and efficient, he would get his old job properly back in a few weeks. But it was one step at a time, now. Slowly, steady.

The morning was spent without a crisis; one patient had to be transferred to another unit and most of the others were simple conditions - colds, headaches. One baby had a small toy stuck in his nostril. This wasn't what he was used to see, not anymore. But the similarities were there. Simple and few, but they were there. He tried not to think of the kind of illness and health issues he treated and cared for when he was away, but it was hard not to do the comparison.

He received a text from Anna just as he arrived at the cafeteria, intending to grab a sandwich for a quick lunch, and that alone soothed him. He loved that she was supportive of him, but he also knew that she was nervous about him coming back as well. He replied to the text right away - assuring her everything was going well, and that maybe she wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate him being back on the job? He had a feeling he knew what her answer would be, and he couldn't help but smile.

Joseph caught him in the queue for lunch, which wasn't very long at all, and insisted they sit together. They had always got on well, he and Joseph, and John was happy to see his friend in good spirits - he suspected Dr Baxter had a lot to do with that, as she joined their table not long after they were settled.

But duty called, and lunch hour was never a long one at all. Joseph had to leave as soon as his pager went off, but not before inviting John and Anna for dinner at the new place he and Phyllis had recently moved into. If he were honest, John was never one for parties and reunions, but he knew Anna would be happy if he socialised more. So he promised he would speak to Anna.

But he had never been personally close to Phyllis, and the two of them spent the next seconds in silence, eating their sandwiches. Every so often, a doctor would pat John's back and welcome him once more. It was getting a little annoying, but he did his best to smile.

"I feel like I should thank you," John said after a moment's consideration. Phyllis looked surprised at his words. "For what you did for Anna, while I was away."

She shook her head. "I was only doing my job. I'm just sorry it didn't work out as planned."

John nodded thoughtfully. "You couldn't have predicted it."

"Very true," she acquiesced, then gave him a smile. "I'm sure it'll work out well the next time."

He smiled. "I hope so. How- Just how bad was it?" he felt the need to ask. Anna hadn't been able to give him the details, not the details he wanted to hear, anyway.

Phyllis took a deep breath. "Her cervix is weak. She was in her first trimester, so it could have been worse. You know that once you get past the first trimester, chances get better." He nodded. "She's healthy. In the future, she'll have to be on bed rest during the first few weeks."

"And have a cerclage done," he finished the analysis for her.

Phyllis nodded. "Yes, probably. We'd have to watch her closely. But there's no reason why it wouldn't work. She takes good care of herself."

John nodded. "That she does."

He left the cafeteria with the promise to ring Joseph whenever he and Anna were free to set a date, and with hope in his heart that they would have a chance at this again.

But there was still a lot to deal with, before any of that came to question.

Anna was in the middle of a rather interesting paragraph in the book when she noticed John stirring beside her. She was surprised when she looked at him - the temperature was nice and pleasant inside the bedroom, but he was sweating. As engrossed as she had been in the book, she had failed to notice it. His breathing got laboured - a nightmare, definitely. He had had a busy week at work - she knew how hard he was trying to get his old position back, and that it wasn't always easy. And he was still adjusting to the odd shifts that he had been making lately, after being assigned to the ER a few weeks ago. It was no wonder that he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

She put the book aside and touched his shoulder softly. He didn't seem to notice it.

"John," she called, shaking him ever so slightly. His breathing was still hard, and his face was contorted. "John, wake up!"

At this, his eyes opened. It took him a few seconds to focus on her - and she saw the despair, the pain in his eyes. She touched his cheek.

"Hey," Anna smiled, "you were having a nightmare."

John let out a deep, slow breath, one of his hands rubbing his eyes rather furiously. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not that late. I was still reading," she told him, taking her glasses off. His eyes looked tired. She lay down to his level. "Do you want to talk about it?"

But he shook his head. "No, it's… It's fuzzy. I'm glad it's over," he revealed, watching as she got comfortable next to him. "It's odd. I usually sleep better when I'm here."

She raised a hand to touch his hair, hoping to comfort him in any way. It was soft beneath her fingers. "Do you still have them often?"

John nodded. "Not every night, but… often enough, when I'm on my own. They come and go," he gave her a smile. "I've had worse."

That didn't do much to make Anna feel better. "What does Dr Coleman say?"

"That it's normal," he explained. "Not every night, but it's normal."

"It should be better by now, surely," Anna frowned, and his lack of response confirmed it. "I hate the thought of you enduring it every night."

"Not every night," he corrected her. "It's the first time it happened here."

Anna took a deep breath, deep in thought. "There's that, of course," she looked at him tentatively. "Maybe… Maybe you should move in here. Permanently," John seemed perplexed by her suggestion. "I mean… It was our plan, anyway. Originally. And you still haven't picked up all the boxes."

He did chuckle, which was a good sign. "Very true. But we had a lot of plans."

She nodded. "We did. And maybe it's time to start planning again. Not necessarily the same things, but… Well, you know."

He was still silent. Perhaps it was a little early for that. They had both gone through a lot, and they both had so much to deal with - they still had so much to discuss, so much to talk about. But she knew she wanted him in her future, no matter what, and she also knew he felt the same. John's place hardly felt like home, with little furniture and too many boxes, and they would usually spend their time together at her place anyway.

"We don't see each other enough as it is," she told him, trying to find a proper reason. "And you're always around. Byron has started to forgive you, even."

John laughed. "That cheeky dog."

Anna smiled, but continued. "And if you sleep better when you're with me, then maybe you should always be with me."

"I can't argue with that," he did say, and Anna filled her heart with hope. He gave her a tired, but bright smile. "Okay. Let's move in together."

Anna let out a tiny shriek, unable to contain herself. John was still laughing when she kissed him. "Soon?"

"I can ask Robert to give me a hand with the boxes," he told her. "Maybe by next weekend we'll be all set."

"That's great," she snuggled against him. "I think this will be a good thing, for us."

John's voice was wistful. "I hope so."

She knew it would be. One step at a time - it was working so far. And it wouldn't be like before, of course, but it made the future look more promising, and it gave her heart hope.

They were making this work, and that was all that mattered.

She had been quiet since the day before, which was unusual. But John had brushed it off then; he had come from a rather long day at the hospital on Saturday, and he wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and sleep until morning. Anna had stayed downstairs after dinner, wanting to finish a movie he had tried - and failed - to watch, as tired as he was. He vaguely remembered her joining him in bed half an hour later, and they didn't talk until morning.

But even then, her words were few and short. She didn't seem mad at him - she smiled and talked but didn't really actively speak to him. Robert had called and invited them over for dinner, but Anna turned it down, simply saying she'd rather have a quiet night in today. John didn't question it, but that alone was unusual.

His move to the cottage was almost completely done, and he wanted to have a lazy day, mostly - do some reading, relax, maybe do some research. The weather was getting much better, and today the sky was cloudy but it wasn't very chilly. Anna told him she'd take Byron out for a walk, and when John said he'd accompany them, she brushed him off lightly - he was only a little hurt by it. But if she wanted some time alone, he'd give it to her.

He was getting worried that she was taking too long when he checked the clock and noticed she had been gone for a little over an hour, and just when he was about to call her, he heard the front door open from his place in the kitchen. Anna appeared seconds later, cheeks looking a little rosy. He looked up from his laptop and gave her a smile, which she returned.

"Where's Byron?" he asked as she drank some water.

It only took her a moment to reply. "Outside, chasing after some poor birds."

John chuckled. "Suits him. Did you have a nice walk?"

"We did, yes," Anna replied, turning her back to him. She did not elaborate, but he knew there was more to it than that. She spent the next few minutes preparing herself some tea, which John thought she was paying a lot of attention to, considering the water was all ready since he had just made himself a cup.

Despite all the trepidation from her, apparently, she sat right across from him on the little kitchen table. He had been reading a rather interesting article, but his attention was clearly compromised now - he didn't even remember what the article was about. Anna seemed nervous, almost. But she didn't go upstairs, or to the living room, so she wanted something from him. Perhaps she didn't want them to live together anymore, or worse - perhaps she had finally come to her senses that they should separate, that they shouldn't have got back together. A hundred possibilities crossed his mind, each worse than the previous one, and when she calmly sipped her tea, he couldn't take it anymore. He closed his laptop and put it aside.

"What's wrong?" he asked a little anxiously, lacing his fingers together on top of the table. Anna looked surprised. "There is something wrong, since yesterday. Please don't tell me otherwise."

At last, she nodded, and he braced himself for what was to come.

"I'm sorry," Anna said. "I know I've been distant since yesterday. It's just that…"

Her hands fidgeted nervously against the warm cup of tea, a habit she had whenever she was afraid or anxious or sad. He had seen enough of it to know it for what it truly was. But he waited patiently to hear her.

"It's been one year," she revealed, her eyes pleading - dry, but full of emotion. She didn't have to explain for him to know what she was talking about. She had been going to therapy with him, occasionally. Things were getting better but there was still so much for them to talk about. "A year ago, I left the hospital and it just… I don't like thinking of the past sometimes. Of certain things," she explained. "But this weekend, it's all I can think about. I left the hospital one year ago and I came home thinking I'd never be a mother again. Not that I- Not that I ever was one."

"But you were," John told her softly. Her eyes faltered just a bit. "You know you were."

He reached for one of her hands, and the warmth in them was comforting.

"I couldn't stay home that evening, even though I needed to rest," Anna said. "I went to the beach with Byron, and I sat there, just watching the waves and the sky. I thought about calling you, but what good would it have done?" she shook her head. "It's just odd to think of how things were then and how they are now. I try not to think of how things could have been, but it's just- it's hard."

John nodded. He had promised her, much more than just a couple of times, that he wouldn't dwell on this issue, but he knew better than that. If he had been around, he could have seen the signs. He would have been home with her when it happened. Even if he couldn't have prevented it, he could have been her strength, the one thing she needed then. But he wasn't, and she had to go through it alone, pretending to be strong in front of others, even when it was killing her. He would always try to make it up to her, even though he thought nothing ever would.

"I think of that too," John revealed, exhaling a long breath. Anna looked surprised at this. "It's natural, even if it's not healthy. The baby would have been around five months old now. I did the math."

A small smile crossed Anna's face, and she squeezed his hand.

"Yeah," she nodded, tears welling up her eyes, but not in an entirely bad way. It was something they should talk about. "My due date was around October. Around the time you arrived, actually."

John smiled. "I'd have been just in time."

Anna smiled, something between a chuckle and a sob leaving her lips. She wiped the skin under her eye quickly. "Yeah, that's what I thought. The timing would have been perfect."

He leaned back on his chair, and Anna left hers, no words necessary. She crossed the small space of the kitchen and sat on his lap, her weight settling nicely against him as they embraced. He hadn't been here last year, but he was here now, and he hoped he would be for the rest of his life.

"Thank you, for not pushing me," she mumbled against his neck. "I needed some time today."

"That's quite all right," he said, and she pulled away from him, eyes shining with unshed tears that were controlled now. Her fingertips traced his jaw slowly, and he knew her mind was from here, far from now. She seemed to hesitate. He gave her an encouraging smile. "What is it?"

She blinked once, twice, trying to make up her mind about something.

"Do you want- Do you still want us to have children?" she blurted out at last.

A simple question, one that he should have expected - something they probably should have talked about before. In the past, his answer would have been just as simple. Now, it wasn't like that. The world wasn't black and white anymore. It was complicated and scary, even. But he knew he had to be honest with her, and think of her too. Anna was born to be a mother - she loved children, she was great with children. They lived in a nice, family friendly neighbourhood. Good schools nearby. Byron absolutely loved children. They didn't have a lifestyle that would be too complicated to live with if they had children. Anna had the shop and that would give her freedom to be with their child whenever she wanted. He had a good income as a doctor - and if things kept going better, that wouldn't be an issue in the future.

But it still took him a moment to reply.

"I won't deny you that I have doubts," he started. "I worry. I worry that I don't have what it takes to be a father. That what I saw happening to other children would drive me crazy," Anna looked disheartened. His index finger touched her chin softly, and her eyes met his. "But whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of the life that we should always have. Of all the happiness we can still have. All the love you can give to a child - and that I can be a part of that. And I do want that."

"Do you mean it?" Anna asked. "Truly?"

John smiled. "Yes, truly. I promised you once, remember?" he asked, and Anna immediately laughed. "At least three. Maybe four."

"Four! Oh my," Anna exclaimed, a glint of hope in her eyes again. "We need to start working soon if we want four."

John shrugged, joking. "We could always have twins. You never know."

Anna giggled. "Actually, I think we still have plenty of time for that later."

He laughed then, and they spent the rest of the day together, laughing, talking and spending time together. He even watched Anna's favourite period drama with her that evening, and for the first time in months, Byron sat by John's feet on the floor, enjoying a belly rub every now and then. But when they went to bed later, Anna's gentle snores letting him know that she would indeed have a restful night, he couldn't help but think that perhaps they shouldn't think too much about time anymore. They used to think they would have all the time in the world when he got back, but he still wasted months alone when they could have been happy together.

Perhaps they should stop giving everything some time. And with that, he made a decision.

The decision was made quickly and it had been so easy that it frightened him a little. They were in a vulnerable, but strong relationship. Short but at the same time very long. Perhaps it was too soon, but perhaps it had taken them too long already. He couldn't know, and if he were honest with himself, it didn't matter. Not in the long run - it wouldn't matter if it happened this week or next year. It would have happened the year before, after all. He knew it was his decision to make. She had made it sure it was his move when she returned the ring to him, weeks ago. She had simply said he should have it again, and tell her when it should be hers for good. And it was there, safely hidden behind his books. But he still thought of it often.

The first time John proposed, they had different plans. They wanted a white wedding. Anna wanted light pink roses like the one he gave her on their first date. All their friends and family around. Her sister would be her bridesmaid. They would be married around Christmas, after he returned. It wouldn't be a big wedding by any means, but a celebration nonetheless. That Christmas had come and gone, and they still had so much to deal with - he knew it wasn't what Anna wanted then, or in the weeks afterwards. But by the end of March, he was all set. And unbeknownst to Anna, she gave him all the details he needed to know.

"You wouldn't believe how much we would have spent," she told him one evening when they were preparing dinner. "There's the place, and the photographer, invitations, photo sessions. The flowers! You wouldn't believe how much Mary is spending on flowers."

John laughed. Anna was positively engrossed in the issue as she chopped the tomatoes. "At least that wouldn't have been huge problem for us. And you love flowers."

"Yes, but it all seems so… Exaggerated," she continued. "Decorations are insanely expensive as well, and the food- I don't even like the food Mary has chosen. I'd have preferred something simpler. I don't know."

"Well, when we were planning stuff," he told her dismissively, "we never wanted something as big as the wedding Mary and Matthew are having."

Anna nodded. "Yes, that's true. But you know what?" He looked at her questioningly. She seemed distracted as she put the now chopped tomatoes onto a bowl. "Nowadays, I wouldn't have any of that. I'd rather have something with just us. Because that's all that matters. And then we would go away for a few days and come back and still have the money to redecorate our spare bedrooms."

She said all of that very matter of factly, and John couldn't help but smile at her practical nature, her determination. He had never cared for a big ceremony, that was never what mattered. And he was glad that Anna agreed.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked once she met his eye.

"You are beautiful when you get so worked up about something," he said, and she broke into a grin herself as she leaned over to wash her hands.

"And you are very cheeky," she said, turning around and playfully smacking his bottom. "Come on, stop staring and get to work."

The first time he proposed, it hadn't been thought out at all - what mattered was what would happen afterwards. It had been intimate and romantic, but not elaborated at all. This time, he would make things a little different. This time, it would be for real.

It was with great surprise that Anna saw none other than Joseph Molesley entering the shop one rather quiet Saturday morning. He appeared a little flustered at first, but he smiled when he saw her and Anna considered both him and Phyllis good friends by now; John's therapist had encouraged more social interaction and both couples met regularly and usually had a great time.

"What a surprise to see you here, Joe!" Anna greeted him enthusiastically, and Daisy merely acknowledged that she wouldn't be needed for this client in particular.

"Always good to see you, Anna," he replied rather nervously, but moved to hug her. "Our schedules have been so odd, we haven't been able to meet in a while. But of course we see John regularly."

"Of course. We'll have to make a date out of something soon," she smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Yes, right… That is, I'd like some roses," Joseph said quickly. "Like, ah, that one."

He pointed at the light pink roses by the shop window. Anna nodded, a little surprised that he chose so quickly. "Okay. How many of them?"

"Fifteen," Joseph said resolutely, and the specific number only served to surprise Anna a little more.

Her eyebrows arched, but she only nodded. "Right. Daisy?"

The young woman nodded and hurried to get the flowers. Anna smiled. "Phyllis will be pleased."

Joseph's eyes widened for a moment but he recovered quickly. "Yes, I hope so."

Joseph seemed even more nervous as the flowers arrived and Anna asked him if he'd like them delivered or if he would take them himself. He had always been a quiet, kind man, and then Anna could see that he would look flustered for buying flowers for his wife - girlfriend, or partner, or whatever it was that he and Phyllis were. Anna didn't mind labels - she supposed she and John shared the lack of them with the couple as well. Indeed, what surprised her further was when, just as the bouquets were ready and she inquired if he would want anything else, he bought a single yellow rose - apparently surprising even himself. Anna shared a laugh with Daisy afterwards, wondering what kind of grand love gesture would include fifteen pink roses and a yellow one.

Joseph Molesley was indeed a peculiar man.

Anna got home hours later, carrying two rather heavy grocery bags, and juggling the keys rather precariously between two fingers. Byron greeted her almost immediately, very enthusiastically indeed, and she smiled.

"Just a second, boy," Anna said as she carried the bags into the hallway, and then into the kitchen. John was nowhere in sight, but his car was in the garage so he had to be home. She decided to try to find out where he was; he had told her his shift would go on until later, but perhaps he managed to switch with someone. "John? I'm home!"

The table was already set for two, and it smelled amazing - something in the oven. Anna bit her lip excitedly when her eyes saw the candles on the table. It was simple, but lovely. And she loved surprises.

"Upstairs," she heard John's voice just as she put the bags on the counter.

She smiled at Byron, reaching down to pet him. "Looks like today is special. I hope I haven't forgotten any important occasion."

The dog merely barked happily. It had never happened before, but John was usually better at these things than her. He could remember almost everything, and though Anna never forgot, sometimes the dates crept up on her quicker than she imagined. Deciding that indeed they didn't really have any important occasion to celebrate in the fourth week of March, she went on to see just what John was planning. A giggle escaped her when she reached the stairs.

The roses Joseph had bought this afternoon.

They were placed rather randomly on the stairs, and Anna couldn't help but feel amused as she walked and picked them up, rather carefully. She was quite sure they had no celebration in March. Their first kiss was in April, and further business was in June. They moved in together not quite two months ago, and in the past they had got engaged in January - hardly something to commemorate these days, really, as it didn't really count. By the time Anna reached upstairs, she had convinced herself that John was probably in a romantic mood, and she certainly wouldn't complain.

The roses were adding up in her hands as she followed the path into their bedroom, and indeed found John standing close to the door, holding one more rose in his hands. Anna giggled as he offered it to her, rather sheepishly. He looked like he had just taken a shower, and his clothes were casual. The smile on his face made her heart skip a beat.

"Thank you," Anna managed to say as she took the last rose. "What are you up to?"

"Just because you own a flower shop it doesn't mean that you shouldn't receive flowers," John said softly. "I gave you one of these on our first date. You told me they meant love at first sight."

"That's right," she recalled their first meeting, looking down at the roses. She looked at him curiously. "But those were thornless. That's why they meant that. These roses have thorns."

"I did think of that," he said quickly. "I've decided that these only mean love, then."

They both laughed. Anna shook her head. "Well, I won't argue with your logic," she acquiesced, and he smiled, but didn't say anything else. "Why fifteen?"

"For every month since I left England last year," John explained, turning serious suddenly. He took a step closer to her and took her free hand. "There hasn't been a day gone by since we met that I didn't think of you. Especially after I left. And I thank you for accepting me back - thorns, and all."

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the euphemism, but she said nothing, noticing he still had to continue.

"I did this once before, but it wasn't well planned," he started, and his words confused her. "It didn't work out very well, either. So I'll try it differently now."

He lowered down to one knee, quite suddenly. Anna's hold on the flowers slackened a little and two fell down. She had heard that question before, had seen the ring before, yet it all felt so very new and foreign. It felt scary, and surprising and unexpected. It felt right. Even more so than before.

Her answer was exactly the same.

Five years later

It was early on Saturday when they reached the beach. Normally they would go a little later, but it was sunny and they had woken up quite early. Anna wouldn't go to the shop today, not unless she was needed, and it seemed like a waste to spend the morning at home when it seemed like winter was truly over now.

Byron was in his element. Due to the early hour, the beach was still quite empty, and they found a nice spot to sit while overlooking the sea. John kept a watchful eye as little Theo pursued the dog, not looking tired at all, his day barely just starting. They weren't far from them, but it was best to be sure they wouldn't go too close to the sea, just in case. It was a little windy, but they were used to the salty sea air and the sound of the waves. John chanced a look at Anna.

Her hair seemed even more golden now, out in the sun, and she looked tired. He was sure he wasn't much different. Theo had been born almost four years ago, and he had been the perfect little baby - quiet and happy and content. Not that Poppy wasn't happy - indeed, the little giggles she gave them were the most precious sounds in the world - but she was more fussy, more alert, more curious. And still prone to waking up in the middle of the night for a feed, a change, or, on some occasions, simple entertainment - which wasn't quite easy to master when the clock was hitting 4 in the morning and one had to be in the hospital at 7. But then he supposed it was only natural that she would be like this - she was only six months old, after all.

Anna held Poppy close as the baby girl slept peacefully - for now - and she pressed a kiss on the baby's golden curls. She and Theo were quite alike, even if they already showed such different personalities at such young age. They both took after Anna in many ways - from the hair to their bright blue eyes - but they also featured mixed traits from him too. Anna would say the mix was perfect no matter what - and he would agree.

Byron barked and Theo was holding a small shell in his hand. Anna let out a sigh.

"He's growing up so fast," she said softly, her tone wistful.

It was true. Their little boy had been such a precious gift - one they had almost lost hope for. They were married quietly, just the two of them, in an office, barely a few weeks after John proposed the second time. And Anna became pregnant soon afterwards, but unfortunately it didn't work out. Not even with proper medical supervision - it happened again just a few weeks later and when Anna became pregnant for the third time they were both quite nervous - almost afraid to share the news with anyone, afraid of thinking of the future with the baby they dreamed of for so long.

But the pregnancy progressed healthily, and Anna's procedure worked out just fine. She had had an easy pregnancy - not much sickness at all, but of course she grew uncomfortable towards the end. When the anxiety towards the viability of the pregnancy was over, however, another kind of the nervousness overtook John; they would have a baby, a child together. And it was an amazing, but terrifying thought. He was worried the nightmares would become more frequent, that he would not be a good father, that he would hurt Anna and the baby.

But it gave him strength.

He managed to get his old position at the hospital back, and the baby taught him so much - he liked to remind the little chap that they were learning together. When Theo learned to crawl or walk or speak - John felt as if the broken pieces inside him came back into their rightful places. Whenever the baby smiled, it was as if he had done something right after all. Whenever he saw Anna being the mother she was always meant to be, John knew they were on the right path. Theo was the best part of him - the best part of them.

And Poppy was no different, despite how feisty and incredibly adorable she was. Anna was always saying how the children would grow spoiled if he kept up with his work as a parent, but in truth they were quite similar as parents. With Poppy things had been calmer - Anna fell pregnant soon after they decided to give parenthood a new chance, and it only took a simple procedure for the pregnancy to go along just fine. Theo was kind and sweet to his baby sister, though both John and Anna wondered how long that would last, as little Poppy was beginning to want her brother's toys and she was always following him around with her little eyes. Things would indeed change once she would start crawling.

"They both are," John said after a minute. Theo started to run towards them. "They're still very little though."

"Daddy, look what I found!" Theo yelled excitedly. Poppy stirred in Anna's arms. The little boy waved a rather big shell in his tiny hand. "For Poppy."

"That's very nice of you, my darling," Anna said with an encouraging smile. "She'll love it, I'm sure."

"We can come back soon one day so she can find 'em with me, right?" Theo asked them, a hopeful look in his eyes. "When she grows up."

John smiled. "Of course. Maybe we can bring you both in the summer to enjoy the sea. Poppy will be bigger then."

"Will she talk and run?" the little boy asked again. No one was more excited to see Poppy bigger than her big brother. John had a feeling he had been disappointed to find out she couldn't very well play with him at such an early age.

John laughed. "Maybe. We'll have to wait and see."

"And then she won't cry anymore?" Theo asked again, obviously eager to go through this phase.

Anna let out a chuckle. "Don't worry about that, baby. She'll be able to enjoy a day filled with playing with you."

This seemed to do it for Theo, who announced he still had to find more treasure with Byron - referring to the shells, of course. Poppy seemed quite content now, and John watched as Anna put her in her pram - the baby girl barely moved. She took after Anna with her sleepy ways. Bob the little plush monkey was there too - slightly battered from being played around by two growing children. An almost forgotten reminder of a time filled with uncertainties.

John slipped an arm around Anna's shoulders and she snuggled close to him as they watched their little boy run around the beach, talking to Byron and occasionally calling his parents to show something. Anna sighed again. John smiled.

"You don't know what today is, do you?" he asked at last.

Anna pulled away to look at him. "Oh, no. What have I forgotten?" she looked quite panicked for a moment. "Elise only visits next weekend, right?"

John chuckled. "Yeah. I mean, this is an anniversary of sorts."

"We have so many of those. We should choose just one official thing," she said quickly, and John could see that she was trying to remember. "You proposed today. For the second time, five years ago. Right?"

He nodded. "Very good."

Anna frowned. "We just celebrated us getting back together in December," she sighed. "However will we celebrate this?"

"I say we should watch Bob the Builder and play with some blocks," John suggested.

Anna nodded. "Right, yes. I'll ask Elise to babysit for us when she's around so we can have a date night of sorts," she winked at him. "We'll always have tonight, anyway. Once the children are asleep."

"If the little lady doesn't decide she wants attention, you mean," John said, nodding towards the now asleep Poppy.

"You'll find that the little lady's mummy might want some attention too," his wife added suggestively and they shared an amused, but promising smile.

Things changed and changed fast, before he could really adjust to them. But they had a lot to celebrate - now, John could barely remember the lonely man who had come back from Africa. As he watched little Theo laughing on the beach, Anna fussing over Poppy once the baby girl let out a somewhat loud whimper in her sleep, he couldn't remember when he had felt so complete and happy. The world had changed for him, so completely, so many times before.

He was here, well and happy, and his family was with him, and that alone was enough to celebrate.