Restless
Chapter twelve – the Pain of Heartbreak
Word Count: 4,613
Note:

-0-

Louisa's whole world exploded and she braced herself for the pain – but it never came; instead she felt herself being lifted into the air momentarily before she was slammed against the ground. When she opened her eyes the first thing she noticed was the walls and how they did not look so beautiful anymore, the second thing she noticed was that someone was on top of her and that was the sole reason she was not currently dead, the third and final thing she noticed was that the person that had saved her was of course Godric. He was injured.

"Godric – oh my God" she groaned as she lifted her head – he lifted his as well and met her gaze "Are you injured? Oh my God you're bleeding" she began to panic, seriously panic – more than she had in the past twenty-four hours and that was saying something. His shirt was ripped in various places and blood poured out from the wounds he had received; she did not even want to look at his backside. Louisa looked around her and as soon as she saw a piece of broken glass she reached for it, a second later with a single swift swipe she tore open the skin on her left wrist

"Louisa what are you doing?" he asked in complete shock

"You are hurt, you need to drink" she begged "Please – please do this for me"

He stared at her from above; one hand was beside her head which supported his body and the second gently grasped her wrist. At first he simply licked her wound and it should not have been so satisfying to watch, but it was – after the first taste he shut his eyes and drank deeply from her arm. It was as if he lost himself in the moment, because seconds passed and he pulled himself away from her as if he had been burned "AB negative" he muttered "Of all of the blood types"

"I hadn't even known" she admitted "I would have told you if I did"

"Are you alright" he asked as his eyes scanned her body for any damage

"No, no I'm fine – you blocked the blast from me – but how, how did you get to me so fast?"

"I flew"

"You flew?" she asked "And I wasn't able to enjoy the experience"

"Louisa, you could have just died, again – for the second time in the past twenty-four hours" he said angrily "And you're sitting here, making a joke? I do not find it funny"

"Well then, someone has to" she frowned "Godric, your people need you. I will be fine"

He nodded and stood to his feet, he was a little battered but otherwise he was fine – blood no longer poured from the tears in his shirt and he no longer spoke with a pain filled voice. When she finally looked around, her heart sank; the dead far outweighed the living.

"Everyone please listen" Isabel said, and when Louisa saw her she smiled, Isabel had always been nothing but kind to her and she would have been devastated if she had been among the dead or injured.

"Please go to the hotel Carmilla, they have been alerted and security is in place" Godric said loudly. As the Vampires filed out of the room she chose to stay behind, and once they the remaining were nearly all gone she took a good look around and regretted her actions. She had never, ever seen more blood in her entire life – it covered what was left of the furniture, the walls, the ceilings and the floor – Godric's once beautiful home looked like a bloodbath.

Eric was the one that held out his hand and helped her to her feet, her dress that had been in an alright condition before was now completely ruined – not that it mattered at all in the slightest compared to everything else "And I did not think that the night could get any worse" she sighed "What is Hotel Carmilla?"

"A hotel for our kind" he replied "Go with Godric, I am sure you will be staying with him"

"Eric, you drive her. I need some time to be alone" Godric said and Louisa tried not to feel the sting of his words, but she felt them anyway. But she did not argue, nor did she say anything as he left the broken, battered room. With a deep breath she too walked away from the room and out of the destroyed home.

"Am I wrong for worrying about him?" she asked as she hopped into the only car remaining outside. The car looked brand new with not a single mark adorning the shiny surface, it had Eric's name written all over it.

"No – you are not"

The car ride was filled with silence, and even though she did not know Eric very well she did not think that the silence was awkward. When they arrived at the Hotel fifteen minutes later she took it all in, the outside was lit up with bright red lights followed by a big, red sign that read 'Hotel Carmilla' in big, blocked letters. She knew it was going to be beautiful even before she stepped inside of the lobby – and she was not wrong. It was completely modern and sleek with expensive carpets and beautiful staff. Godric sat in a lone chair in the lobby, and she noticed him immediately. She made her way towards him and when he saw her he stood to his feet.

"Are we sharing a room?" she asked quietly and was awfully surprised when he nodded. She followed him as he walked towards the elevator and pressed the button to go up. They made the journey in silence, and halfway through the elevator ride she began to bite her lip as she waited for him to speak first. Their room ended up being on one of the highest floors and was the last door to the right – when he held the door open for her and she walked through she was momentarily stunned by the sight in front of her. White couches and glossy wooden furniture filled the two room suite before her and the dark purple walls complimented everything as a whole. The hotel room was easily larger than her apartment, and as she walked into the bedroom she blinked a few times at the lone king bed.

"I hope you don't mind sharing the room" he asked, and when she turned she found that he was right in front of her "I – I did not want to be alone"

"Don't be silly, of course I don't mind. And the bed is so large, it shall easily fit us both – come to think of it Eric would most likely fit too. That is by far the biggest bed I have ever seen" she was rambling, she knew – but she didn't know how else to deal with the fact that they would be sleeping beside one another.

"There are spare clothes in the drawers, I asked for them to be delivered as soon as I arrived. I apologise, I must get a new dress for you to replace the one that is ruined"

"Nonsense" she shook her head, and then she eyed the ruined dressed that caressed her body. It was utterly dirty now and had numerous holes and tears from the top to the bottom "You don't have to go through so much trouble over a dress"

"You looked lovely" he said quietly "I would have said something, but the timing was never right. Even now, you still look lovely"

She chose that moment to take a step closer and hug him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her eyes drifted shut as her body rested against his – she poured absolutely everything she had into the hug and when he in turn wrapped his arms slowly around her waist she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was the closest they had ever been, but she wasn't too phased about that – she was more concerned with the Vampire that she held in her arms. The hug seemed as if it lasted a lifetime and when she felt his arms pull away from her she too released her hold "I think I should shower" she admitted, they still stood so close to one another and she made sure that she did not look him in the eye before she turned away "I might be a while, I am absolutely covered in dirt and who knows what else"

One she was in the bathroom she locked the door and stripped down slowly, her red dress pooled around her feet which was soon followed by her underwear. When she stepped under the shower head she turned the hot water on first, and then added just a tiny bit of cold to make it a little more bearable – she was in there for a while, a lot longer than she intended but she felt three times better once she was done. Wrapping the towel around her body proved to be quite tricky, her limbs felt like they weighed a ton and only then, when she caught her reflection in the mirror did she realise how awful she looked. The wound in the corner of her temple would easily be covered by her hair if she chose to wear it down, but nonetheless it looked quite disgusting against her pale flesh – her lip was cut from when she had been hit by one of the members who had abducted her from her home and dark bags hung from beneath both of her eyes. This was just all too familiar.

As she looked around the steam filled bathroom she realised she hadn't taken any of the spare clothes in with her – panic filled her immediately. She was about to walk out, practically naked no less in front of the Vampire that she thought that she had feelings for. But if she had survived the past day, she could survive this – right? She closed her eyes and pushed the bathroom door open, determined she walked towards the drawers and pulled open the first one she found. Inside sat the basic underwear, a few pairs of jeans and shorts, some t-shirts and a single dress – the draw beside this one held two pairs of men's pyjama pants and a short sleep top. She chose the pants and sleep top of course. When she turned around her grip on her towel tightened as she locked eyes with the Vampire who was propped up against the pillows on the bed.

"I – sorry, for the indecency, I forgot to take clothes in with me" she mumbled – her determination was now gone and it continued to strip away as he looked down to her bare legs and up to her face once more

"You have nothing to be sorry for" he replied shortly "Go, change – I am sure you are exhausted"

She did not need to be told twice. The bathroom door shut behind her harder than she had intended and changed in record time. When she walked back into the hotel room she gave not a second thought as she collapsed onto the bed and sunk into the comforts "I have never been so glad to be in bed" she mumbled, more to herself than to Godric beside her "I have also never been in one so comfortable"

"I still cannot believe that they took you, that they hurt you" was all he said

Louisa sat up and turned to face him – he was once again already looking at her; well, at her wounds "My dear, dear Godric" she smiled "You said earlier that all Vampires have become is more savage, more brutal – but can't you see? Humans are very much the exact same, yours is not the only race that can cause harm" She hoped that her words would somehow speak to him, but as he continued to sit in silence she was unsure "You need rest Godric" she mumbled, her eyes drifting shut despite the loud voice in her head telling her to stay awake, soon she shuffled down so that she was on her side "Sleep, worry about the events of the past twenty-four hours for tomorrow"

If she had not been so tired, she would have felt the mattress dip beside her and if she had not had fallen asleep so quickly, she would have felt his arm snag around her waist and pull her closer.

-0-

She woke up in his arms, and she smiled once she realised that she wasn't actually dreaming. With a bite to her lip she slowly adjusted herself and hoped that she had not woken him "You're awake" he sounded so tired, and for a moment she felt guilty having actually woken him "We slept throughout the day"

"Hmm" she sighed, and then she allowed her eyes shut once more.

"I have a meeting with Nan Flanagan soon" he muttered "Something that I am most certainly not looking forward too"

"The Vampire spokeswoman?" she asked "I think I've seen her on television before"

"That does not surprise me" he mumbled into the back of her neck; his voice was husky with sleep and never, ever before had he sounded more attractive "I apologise, it seems as if I have taken you hostage while I slept"

"You don't have to be sorry about that" she spoke so quietly that if he had was not a Vampire she would be sure he would not have heard her at all, she did not understand what he said next; he spoke quietly and in a completely different language and she did not ask what he had meant. If he wanted her to understand, he would have spoken in English.

"I'd like you to be with me, when I have my meeting. I feel as if a lot more will be explained, and there are some things that you need to hear about what happened when I was with the fellowship"

"I'll be there" she promised. When he unwrapped his arms and rose from the bed she would be a liar if she said she didn't miss him already.

Nan Flanagan, turned out to be a lot meaner in person than she appeared to be on television. Instead of a kind face, she was greeted with a stern expression and a cruel tone.

"What the fuck were you all thinking?" she demanded "The press are up my ass about this entire mess – explain yourselves this instant"

Louisa played with the hem of her black dress; it had cuffed sleeves and fell to just above her knees – she was not used to wearing dresses that clung to her figure but it was this or the jeans. Honestly, she tried to listen – but vampire politics were not her thing and after a while the Vampires had lost her attention completely. Even though she had slept throughout the day she was still so tired.

"Don't talk to him that way" Eric said – his tone had her attention back.

"Don't talk to me that way" Nan bit back "Let's get to the point, how did they manage to abduct you?"

"They would have taken one of us sooner or later, I offered myself" She couldn't believe what she was hearing – and for a moment she thought that he was playing a trick on them all until she remembered that Godric did not joke, especially about subjects as serious as this one. From beside her, Isabel stiffened and she didn't need to look at him to know that Eric was utterly distraught. Louisa waited for him to say that he was kidding – that it was a lie, but he didn't and the feeling of dread in her stomach only grew.

"Why?" Nan demanded

"Why not?" Godric responded

"They wanted you to meet the sun and you were willing?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you are out of your mind. And then, I hear about a traitor?"

"Irrelevant, only a rumour. I take full responsibility"

"You bet you will"

"You cold, cold bitch" Eric muttered

"Listen, this is a national vampire disaster and nobody at the top has any sympathy for any of you. Sherriff, you fucked up – you're fired"

"I agree" Godric nodded "Of course, Isabel should take my position – she had no part in my disgrace"

"Godric no – fight back!" Isabel said

"She- she is bureaucrat Godric you don't have to take shit from her!" Eric flared

"You don't know shit Viking – do you want to lose your area too?" Nan threatened

"You don't have that kind of power" he snarled

"I'm on Television, try me" she smiled

"I am to blame – I should have contained Stan the second that Godric went missing" Isabel stood to her feet

"Isabel, no, I remove myself from all positions of authority"

"That works for me"

She zoned out after that, his words played over and over again in her mind. She did not hear what Sookie said in Godric's defence, nor did she bat an eyelash when Eric stood to his feet and stalked towards Nan Flanagan in utter rage. Louisa simply stood to her feet while Godric talked about the bombing and excused herself from the room – it was then and only then when she was walking away from everyone and that she was sure that they could not see her face that she let a single tear fall as she made her way down the hallway, though as soon as she felt it on her cheek she angrily wiped it away. Godric had gone willingly. He had gone to those, despicable human beings willingly – and for the life of her she did not understand why.

She slid down the wall and sat on the floor, and even after Nan Flanagan and her companions left she sat in her place against the wall trapped in her thoughts about the Vampire she had come to care too much about – and how he simply did not have a care in the world for himself. Her thoughts consumed her but before long she heard footsteps running towards her and when she lifted her head she saw Sookie Stackhouse in her pretty red and white dress

"You need to go to the rooftop" she gasped

"The rooftop?" she asked "Why?"

"Because he's going to meet the sun, Godric is up there – he's gonna' try and kill himself"

And then she was running, as fast as her feet could carry her which was hard because her shoes had a slight heel and her dress did not give her much to work with. After a moment she kicked the shoes off, rather expertly too if she had to say so herself. But she didn't, because it didn't matter – none of it mattered. Godric was going to die – and she just couldn't imagine it. When she burst through the door of the rooftop Godric turned to face her, the sky outside was slowly, ever so slowly turning lighter and she knew that she only had minutes to say what she needed to say. Eric knelt on the ground before his maker, and she knew before she even saw him that his cheeks were stained red from his bloody tears.

Now that she was up on the rooftop, with Eric's cheeks red with blood she became aware on how hard her heart was beating. What was she going to say to him? How on Earth was she going to make him change his mind?

"As your maker, I command you" Godric whispered.

Eric slowly walked towards her, and she had been correct – his face was indeed stained with the blood from his tears. She did not say anything to him as she passed him; instead she marched towards Godric. Because she was angry, she was absolutely furious with him for the first time since she met him and she was going to tell him exactly why.

"Louisa" he sighed, "I did not want you to see this"

"Well too bad, because if you're going to do what I think you're going to do then I am going to stand here without moving an inch and if that in someway ruins your plan then too bloody bad," she began "Do you have any idea, any idea at all how I felt when you said that you willingly gave yourself over to the Fellowship of the Sun? Do you? Well let me help you understand; how would you feel if I told you that I willingly let that man attack me after I went to my friends' party? How would you feel if I told you that instead of being taken against my own will I willingly handed myself over to the Fellowship of the Sun"

"That was not the same" he replied stubbornly

"No it isn't you're right, you are right because what you did was ten times worse," she said hotly "It is worse because you were willing to die! That you are still willing to die! I spent two weeks worried sick about you, and when Eric showed up at my house and told me you had been kidnapped I thought that you were being tortured, that you were being drained of your blood and being left to rot in some cell in the middle of nowhere! Today I found out that you handed yourselves over to the monsters that broke into my home and attacked me – do you have absolutely any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Louisa-" Godric began, but she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't stop the words that were falling out of her mouth.

"Did you know that the Vampire blood would have this effect on me?" she cried out "Because ever since you healed me I have felt differently towards you, or I don't know maybe it just enhanced something that was just hiding beneath the surface. Did you know about the dreams?" When he didn't answer she allowed herself to cry, she simply couldn't help herself. He knew, he knew the entire time and he didn't warn her – he hadn't said a single word "So you knew everything, you knew. And now here I am, crying on a rooftop after everything while you stand in front of me waiting to die" she cried harder now "You didn't even come and say goodbye to me! Do you know how hurt I am?"

"Little one" he murmured, but he did not meet her eyes "Two-thousand years of this is enough"

"When I woke up this morning with your arms around me I was the happiest person in the world, despite all of the trauma that I've been put though this weekend" she began, and only then did he meet her eyes "You once told me that that I should always be truthful especially when it comes to my feelings, well I feel something for you; and I have for a while and even though I still have no idea exactly what I feel I know that it is something, and it is something so strong it scares me. I fought it every step of the way, but I'm not going to anymore – because just the thought of you dying is enough to send me to my knees. If you die Godric, something inside of me will die with you and I know that I am only eighteen, and I have no experience of the world but I know what heartache feels like, and if you die I feel as if a part of me will die alongside you. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without you in it, not after you have tried so hard to be involved in it"

For the first time since she stepped onto the rooftop he moved, the distance between them grew shorter until he was right in front of her; his head against hers "You are making this very, very difficult for me"

"I will be here for you as long as you will have me. I will stop trying to beat you at checkers. I will be your friend, and if you don't want to see me after this then I will come to live with that too; because I would rather live my life knowing that you are alive and well without you then live my life knowing that you're gone forever," Her hands slowly cupped his face "Please do not do this to me, do not to this Eric – we need you Godric, so many of us here need you. There is evil in the world and I will never deny that to you; but can't you see? Vampires did not harm me last nor or were they the cause of what happened to me after that party. They did not kill my brother or my mother or force my father to pick up a drink. Monsters exist, and they take so many different forms, shapes and sizes – how can you not see that?"

It grew lighter by the second, she had been panicked before but now she was hysterical. She closed her eyes and threw caution to the wind – she pressed her body into his; she was more than ready to die beside him if that was what it was going to take to keep him alive "Even if you spend the rest of your life hating me for all that I have said, I can live with that if that means that you will stay"

He wasn't going to go inside – and more tears spilled down her cheeks at the realisation. The ground beneath her was suddenly gone and when she opened her eyes she was against the hotel wall, and Godric was in front of her – he had not simply thrown her inside and returned outside. He looked at her like no other had done so before.

"You waited so long to tell me of your feelings" he muttered "You shouldn't have"

"I – how was I supposed to tell you?" she whispered "Where would I have started?"

"Little one, you have absolutely no idea how strong of a pull you have over me –do you?" he asked softly "I was convinced, on that rooftop barely five minutes ago I was going to meet the sun and not a single thing was going to change my mind – and then you appeared, and you were so angry and so upset. The sight of your tears alone were enough to give me doubt"

"Why?" she barely heard herself ask "Why would you ever think that killing yourself was a good idea?"

"One day if you are ever able to live as long as I have you may be able to feel what I feel" he muttered and pulled her even closer "But I would not wish it upon anyone, especially you"

When his lips touched hers she felt her heart stop. It was not like it had been in her dreams, no – reality was three times better. Godric's lips were so soft and unlike the dreams had been so was the kiss; he broke away a moment later but she did not open her eyes. He had kissed her, and only once she regained the feel of her fingers did she realise how nervous she was "Eric thinks you're dead" she said "And as much as I – I think that you should go and see him"

"Do you think he will ever forgive me?" he asked

"I am not too sure" she replied softly "You can only wait and see"