Disclaimer – I don't own Bleach. This is my piece for NaNoWriMo 2015. The very long explanation as to where the idea for this particular story came from is at the end of the chapter for anyone whose interested.

Cancer
Flowerless Graves

No flowers bloomed on graves, and no visitors came to said graves. The rain fell down the memorial markers washing away the dust and debris left over from the war. A small figure stood out in the rain staring at the grave stones as the rain came down twisting through the white locks, then down the youth's cheek to drip off his chin. Toshiro felt a pounding in his skull as his lips pushed together trying to put the thoughts in his head together.

His bright teal eyes narrowed as the rain from above stung his eyes like the tired feeling which tried washing over the young taicho. His bone thin hands hung down at his side as his eyes continued to look over the graves of the Shinigami who fell during the battle with the Quincy. Every muscle in his body ached, and yet he stood their standing as his mind tried understanding what went on around him.

Toshiro's mind remained numb as he tried fathoming the loss shown in front of him. One of his thin fingers twitched slightly as the chill settled down deep into his body as the rain drenched his clothing. Everything around him seemed gray and colorless, and a feeling settled deep down in the pit of his stomach as bile tried forcing its way up his throat. His lips felt slightly dry, but for some reason the urge to lick his lips wasn't enough to attempt to satiate the dry feeling.

The only thing he could do was stair as his mind remained mentally numb.

A soft voice came from behind, and yet the honey like sound didn't stir him from his stupor. A hand finally reached out to touch his shoulder, and yet he didn't at all stir. Finall he turned his head to see a familiar face with strawberry blond hair. Toshiro's mouth opened, but the name of the person didn't come right away. The name slipped from his lips after a few moments. "Matsumoto?"

The woman twirled the paper umbrella so that drops of water flew off. The woman's mouth pressed together indicating something was off, but the young taicho couldn't place what the woman was thinking or feeling. She stared at him almost as if she hoped he would be able to read what she was saying, but he simply didn't react. "You're soaking wet."

Toshiro stared at the woman wondering why she continued to look at him, and why she even wanted a response. His head hurt to much to think about what she was trying to get at or to listen to what ever his zampaktuo said in the back of his head. He expected Rangiku to say something else, but instead the woman reached out her free hand and turned him away from the grave. She watched as his eyes glazed over. "No."

"No what?" Toshiro turned his head back to look at her.

"You can't stay out here. You've got to come inside and warm up, change into some dry clothes." Her hand placed slight pressure on the middle of his back and for some reason he stepped forward. His mind hurt to much to think about the why, or the how. He walked in front of Matsumoto Rangiku allowing her to guide him back to their division, and then towards his home. His mouth didn't move, and his body didn't flinch. He simply remained distant.

Arriving outside of his quarters Rangiku set the umbrella down so her hand was free to slide the paper door open, and the hand on his middle of his back pushed him forward and inside. "I'm going to get you some dry clothing taicho."

Toshiro ignored the woman and simply sat down on the front of the bed staring at her as she bustled about the room gathering him clean clothing. A dusty smell drifted into the nose of the small taicho as he sat on the bed, and a sudden sneeze came out of his nose causing Rangiku to turn back to stare at him.

"Taicho..."

"I'm fine."

"You were out in the cold. You're soaking wet. You're also just sitting there without changing your clothes."

"I feel fine."

Rangiku came over and set down the set of clothing before reaching out a hand to ruffle the wet locks of hair hanging down in front his bright teal eyes. "Change your clothes. I'll bring you back something to eat." The door slipped open as she started to leave, but she paused turning her head. "Don't you leave."

The young taicho didn't move at first as he stared at the wall. Eventually though he moved without realizing it to change into the dry clothing and dropped the wet clothing onto the floor. He then crawled onto the top of the bed and pulled up one knee so the arm on the same side draped over in a semi-relaxed manner. The other leg stuck straight out as the taicho of the tenth division stared at the bookshelves.

The pain throbbed through his stomach and his head, the pain in his head being sharp while the nausea in his stomach simply wouldn't disappear. One of his thin boney fingers twitched as he continue to look at the white wall above the bookcase. His bright teal eyes finally drifted over to the doorway as if he hoped someone or somebody would step through the door. His mind drifted off wondering who he expected to come through the door.

A memory flickered through his mind, and he remembered that most of the people hea cared about were badly injured, or they ended up dead. Thus nobody would come through the door to see him. "Emotions. I don't need them. I don't need to be..." Toshiro's bright teal eys narrowed as he sat there waiting. "Why am I worried about someone coming through the door." The young taicho swallowed as the bile rose to his throat, but he swallowed it down.

An anxiety built in the pit of his stomach, and he stood up to head to the door despite the whispers in the back of his head indicating he shouldn't go. His hand reached out for the door only for the paper door to slide open. Rangiku stood holding a trey of food in one hand, and her eyes stared at the young taicho. The white haired youth simply stared at her as if nothing were happening, and finally she spoke up. "Where are you going?"

Toshiro simply stared at her, and her free hand nudged him back into the room before letting the door slide shut. Her mouth moved, but the words didn't seem to match up with the words coming out of her mouth. "It's still raining outside."

"So?"

Rangiku's pale blue eyes blinked a couple of times before she spoke up again. "Were you headed to the grave site again?"

Toshiro's lips pushed together as his head throbbed. "What of it?"

"You keep going out there for long hours."

The young taicho simply stared at the wall. "Do you remember what Kurotsuchi said?"

The tension in the room increased, and Rangiku leaned forward so her breath came as a whisper in Toshiro's ear. "Remember? I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you remember Matsumoto. There is no way you couldn't remember." The young taicho stared at the woman, but a pinching feeling wouldn't leave his head. His lips pushed together as he tried thinking the situation out, but the mocking sound of Kurotsuchi Mayuri's voice rattled through his head.

"There are negative effects from any treatment I give, and preliminary tests show there's something which will shorten your lifespan if not taken care of if it already hasn't. Thus I need to do more tests."

"Just let Kurotsuchi run some tests."

The young taicho felt himself freeze up, and he turned his head to look her. "As if I'll let myself be a guinea pig for his experiments. I'm completely fine. Absolutely fine."

Toshiro's hands gripped the sheets tightly as his lips tightened. Rangiku set the trey of food down. "I need you to eat something. Please?"

"What's the point when I'm dying?" The young taicho's mouth opened, but the thought process quickly fled his mind. He found himself swallowing back the frustration before pushing the trey of food off the edge of the bed causing it to crash onto the floor. The young taicho physically jumped when the woman jumped, and she stared at him as if he was a monster. Toshiro looked at the ground. "I think I'll just go to bed."

"What about this mess."

"I'll clean it up in the morning." Toshiro moved to where he was under the sheets pulling them over his head. A shiver ran down his spine as he heard Rangiku cleaning up the mess he made, but tiredness set in.

Author's note – The inspiration for this fic comes from a translation issue with chapter 664.

When chapter 664 was released a particular line was originally attributed to Toshiro, but later on said line was attributed to Mayuri.

Toshiro: My life was cut down many times, but I am still thankful for him saving my life.
Mayuri: It came at the cost of their lifespan being greatly shortened, but... surely they wouldn't complain about something as trivial as as that to the person who gave them their lives back.

The main issue is we don't know whose speaking at that point. While it's true Mayuri was speaking until that point and the words may be a continuation of what he was saying, the line appears on a new page which composition wise favors Toshiro saying the line.

The second issue is we're talking about a writer whose known for purposefully misleading the readers. Take for example the place where Isshin's status in the Shiba clan is revealed. Both "I'm saying as such, although you're the proprietor branch of the shiba clan your flaws decimate the family" and "although you're but the head of a branch family of the Shiba clan your flaws decimate the family" are correct translations.

Why?

The word "branch family" in Japan is directly derived from the word "branch", meaning the same word is used. Thus we can't know which word the writer means without further context. The translation also depends on whether a particular hirigana is part of the word to the left, or part of the word to the right. The meaning of what is said changes based on this.

The reason people tossed out the first translation lies with the fact people assumed Isshin was the uncle of the Kaien and his siblings, but we don't actually know who the uncle Kukaku and Ganju refer to are. People who believed said translation was right then decided if not the uncle then Isshin had to be a cousin, and yet if the translation is right Isshin could be a younger sibling of Kaien and still be a branch family – particularly if their father is dead. People keep assuming Kaien died before Isshin disappeared, but truth is we don't know.

I lean towards the first though because this leans more towards Rangiku's speaking style then does the second, and because the head of the main branch is culturally able to get away with a lot more then the branch families – hence why Byakuya's able to adopt Rukia with no objections.

In this case I'm leaning towards the first. I think people threw out the first translation because the sentence made no sense to the translators. I don't know if it's because most people don't speak that way, or if they couldn't figure out what Toshiro was referring to. Not only did the manner of speech fit Toshiro, he's also referring to the fact he was placed into a mental loop where he was constantly being killed. In the same regard Mayuri said prior to this line, "they should be good as new", but having ones lifespan cut short isn't "good as new". On top of this Mayuri comes across as surprised that he's being thanked.

But what if it is Mayuri saying it? The details were vague regarding what he meant, so this fic was born.