In The Pursuit Of Love ch. 46

I just wanna say thank you to everyone that stuck around with me on this fanfic and I finally say that it's time to wrap it up

Regionals came and gone without a hitch but that doesn't fucking surprise me because I knew that we would win that shit hands done although I didn't expect to see Mami in the crowd when we were handed the trophy. I mean I told her about Glee club and stuff but I wasn't expecting her to show up out of the blue like this however what surprised the hell outta me was that she and Papi were getting along. There was still that awkward tension between them as they acted like awkward pre-teens but I guess that it's better than them at each other's throats but I wish that we would get their shit together and a normal conversation like fuckin adults. I don't know if Mami ever told him the truth of why she left but Papi never let on that he knew anything and my girlfriend thought that it was best that they work out whatever issues they have.

I managed to introduce her to Rachel who's seven months pregnant at the time. To say that it threw Mami for a loop to find out that I had gotten someone pregnant was an understatement and I half expected her to blow a fuse or some shit but she didn't as she affectionately rubs my girl's belly. Thing at school didn't really change much but there were a few people that tried to test especially Aizimo who thought that he could throw a cherry red slushy up in my grill and that stuff stings like a bitch. I don't know how Rachel manage to go through this day in and day out for the last two years with her head held high but it only makes me more grateful that she never held it against me although I couldn't help the guilty feeling for all that shit.

She helped me get clean up but it wasn't going to stop me from kissing the daylights out of her, leading to mind-blowing sex in the girls' bathroom. I knew that my girl was excited about Nationals since this year, it's being held in New York as I know that we're gonna win this shit because we're the shit and for once Mr. Schue is coming up with an actual set-list. I wasn't expecting to get an actual solo for this one but I knew what song I had in mind as I asked Brittany and Mike to help with the choreography while the tiny diva had an idea for her solo but she wouldn't tell me was it with a peck on the lip. Quinn has been a major help with the tiny diva since she's gone through the crazy hormonal mood swings and it seems that the two have become pretty good friends over the course of the pregnancy.

I could see that it was difficult at time for the blonde bimbo as she would get this sad, remorseful look on her face and I knew that she was thinking about her own daughter. I wasn't a good friend to her when she discovered that she was carrying Puckerman's baby and I had practically abandoned her when she needed me the most as it was a mistake that I regret to this day. I swore to myself that I would be a better friend to her. I couldn't help thinking about our future and what it would mean for the both of us as I know that the Broadway star has her heart set on New York although I don't know what we're going to do with a newborn baby. Part of me wonders if I should stay in Lima for a little while longer, raising our baby while she's in the Big Apple because the last thing that I wanna do is hold her back.

I know that I can seem like a selfish, uncaring, cold-hearted bitch that doesn't care about anything other than herself and for the most part it was the truth and I didn't care who hurt from the word I cut with. I always thought that I was better than other people and it's true to an extent but I have this fear that I'm not as good as Rachel or Quinn who have talent and the determination to go after what they want. For me, I never knew what I wanted and I'm afraid that I'll never make it out of this hick town to work a job that I hate all alone while other live their amazing lives in places like New York or Los Angeles or even Miami. What's fuckin worse is the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach is take I would end up like fuckin Finnocence and hold the diva back from accomplishing her dream on Broadway.

Rachel is going to New York with or without me even if I have to put her on the plane myself because that's where she's meant to be and no one's gonna stand in her way, not even me. Another fear of mine is that if our kid is girl then there's a possibility of her turning out like me and my childhood was difficult as it is as it was only made worse being intersex as I don't want to have my own daughter going through what I did. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when something caresses my cheek before getting lost in a pair of chocolate brown eyes that showed concern and worry for me before leaning forward to capture those velvety lips that I become addicted to. I wrapped my arms around her waist, flushing our bodies together as I nuzzled into the column of her neck while the diva's short nail lightly scratches against my scalp while losing myself in the sensation that I nearly fell asleep.

"I love you." I sad lightly kissing her neck. "I love you more than you could possibly understand"

"I love you too baby and I need to talk to you about something" Rachel said pulling back slightly.

"About what?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows together in confusion.

"About graduation. We never really talk about we're going to do after we graduate" Rachel said biting her lip nervously. "We're gonna have an one year by the time this next year and I have been thinking"

"Yeah? Well you're going to New York, there's no question about that"

"I'm confident in that but what does that mean for us?"

"No you… no you not want me with you" I said looking away.

"No! I mean yes, I want you there with me because New York wouldn't truly feel like home without you there by my side but I think that we should hold off going until the baby's old enough to be left at daycare while the both of us are either working or attending classes" Rachel explains.

"Rachel, the last thing that I want to do is hold you back. New york is your dream and you shouldn't have to wait or put your dream on hold for me" I sigh, knowing that this conversation wasn't going to be easy.

"Listen here Santana Lopez, you are in no way, shape or form will ever hold me because you are equally as talented as I am. You want the best for me and in my opinion, I have found that in you and I love you more than anything as I will not allow you to give up what we have" Rachel said taking my face in her hands. "I may be holding off going to New York for another year than I had anticipated but I don't mind as long as you're there with me plus with our little peanut than it's well worth it"

"Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn?" I asked burying my face into her neck.

"Because I love you" Rachel said kissing my temple.

I love this girl more than words could be expressed and I would go to the ends of the earth to ensure that she feels loved and as September 15th was the day that Samantha Maria Berry-Lopez or Sammie for short came into the world, screaming her little lungs off. This kid's already following in her mommy's footsteps. Rachel and I knew that we wanted Quinn and Brittany as our kid's godparents which throw the shorter blonde for a loop but there's no one that I trust more than these two and if anyone should happen to either if us that our kid will be well love and taken care of. Looking down at the sleeping bundle of joy in my arms with a small tuff of curly brown hair on her head and chubby cheeks.

I knew that she'll have me wrapped around her little finger in no time if I wasn't already as I beamed down at her as my heart swells with pride and love as the perfect little girl that I created while other mother sleeps, snoring lightly in the hospital bed next to us. Just when I thought I couldn't love this girl anymore than I already do but she's given the greatest gift that I thought I would never have a chance at having but it was well the cussing and the near breaking of my hand in the process.

When the doctor had handed me my child, I swore that he had given a boy but when he explained that he was actually she as my fears of what my daughter going through the same things that I did as a kid. It wasn't what I wanted for her but Rachel assumed me that Sammie has two loving parents that will love her no matter what regardless of what she has between her legs as well having me to explain things to her as she gets older. I knew that she was right because I will answer whatever questions she'll have and she'll have plenty of people loving her.

"It's gonna be me and you, Peanut. I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you or Mommy or they'll have to face the infamous Snixx going all Lima Height Adjacent on their asses" I said kissing the top of Sammie's head.

"Watch your language around the baby, Santi"

I turned to see Rachel watching me with tired yet relaxed and loving expression on her face and to me, she looks like the most beautiful girl in the world as I lean over to kiss the top of her head.

"Thank you"

"For what?" Rachel asked raising an eyebrow.

"For making me the happiest person on the planet and giving something that I never thought I could have but most of all, loving me when I didn't deserve it. I love you even more than I did before and hopefully one day, I'll make you feel the same"

"You already do, baby" Rachel said smiling softly.

The End