Welcome back to the old Suicide Note story. Or well, the completely revised one.

I first posted this story a little over three years ago, but lost the will to continue writing it about halfway through the actual story.

I found the will to start writing again, but as soon as I learned this I couldn't find the original files of Suicide Note. So, here I am.

Rewriting it.

Things will be changed, though, due to the fact I cannot entirely remember the story's contents.

Years ago, back when I first hit the ripe age of 13, I feared that what I felt was disgusting . this sexual desire for my brother, this deep seated need to be near him 24/7. The rush of feelings whenever contact was prolonged.

It was utterly disgusting and I wanted nothing to do with it, and took to avoiding my elder brother with every fiber of my being. We grew distant, even though we used to be the closest siblings. We had been each other's best friend's, and each other's shoulder to cry on if things were going particularly hard that day.

But that all changed because of this frustrating, grating feeling surrounding me. I was utterly disgusting, and I knew it.

Years passed and I still avoided my brother as much as possible, forcing myself into clipped responses and annoyed retorts whenever he even asked something of me. By now, he was used to these responses but that didn't mean I couldn't see the flash of pain in his eyes due to every one of my hate-filled words.

The hate wasn't directed towards him, though. No, it was entirely directed towards myself and my utter stupidity, directed towards these disgusting feelings I felt and couldn't get rid of.

But that was a couple of years ago, 6 years in fact. I've come to a shaky terms with these feelings and knew that it wasn't just this sexual desire I felt for him. I well, I loved him - not just that family, brotherly love either. I was in love with him.

When I had come to that realization, I knew that I would never get over these feelings, even a little bit. I had been around 16 when I first realized this, and that had been three years after those feelings arose.

So, when I had come to that realization I stopped lashing out at my elder brother, and I stopped hating myself for the most part. I just… hid all of these feelings away rather than throw them out to the world and let anyone know. I hid the pain when my brother first introduced the family to his girlfriend, Sky.

Currently I'm 19, and Itachi - my elder brother - and Sky are now married. They're so happy, just looking at them you could tell that they absolutely adored each other. It's amazing to see Itachi smile like he used to. He rarely only smiled for me, back when we were younger. That reserved, secretive smile that he only ever shared with me.

I never get that smile anymore. Even though I stopped lashing out, that doesn't mean I'm on good terms with my brother and his wife. I still couldn't stay in the same room as them for more than an hour, if even that. I avoided them at all costs because every time he smiled at her or kissed her, I felt a stupid well of jealousy and pain.

It was on the eve of their anniversary that an announcement had been made at the dinner table. My father, even with stony and uncaring features, was completely surprised at this news and smiled. My mother looked like she was about to pass out, she was so happy. And I… well, I barely even registered their reactions due to the shocking amount of pain that hit me.

Sky and Itachi were… expecting. Jaw clenched, and shoving all of my dark jealousy and pain deep in the depths of my heart, I gave them a simple 'congratulations' before excusing myself from the kitchen table and nearly bolting upstairs, to my room. I shut the door, and leaned against it. Everything felt heavy in that moment, just the simple action of breathing hurt. This pain was unlike anything else I've ever felt.

The hours passed by rather quickly, and I knew that everyone was in bed. Itachi and Sky shared a room just a few doors down from my own, and my parents slept in a different wing of the house then ours, claiming they wanted to give their 'babies' some room.

Quiet as a mouse, I slipped out of my room and into the bathroom, clad in only a loose pair of pajama bottoms, and carrying a few items with me. Clicking the door shut and locking it, I drew in a shaky breath and double checked that I locked the door before laying the items out across the sink.

There, in all it's beauty, was a sole photo, and a pocket knife. Staring at the items on the sink, I frowned. How exactly… Shaking my head quickly, I sighed and reached forward to grip the knife and the photo again, before setting down onto the tiled floor with my back resting against the side of the tub.

Taking a deep breath, I stared at the photo that I had taken with me, glaring at the picture for a moment, before my gaze softened and stared at it almost longingly. The photo was of my and Itachi, back when I was around 9-10, and Itachi was 15-16. We were smiling in this picture, completely unaware of our mother taking it.

Sighing, I stared at the photo for some time, before I set it off to the side and tightened my grip around the handle of my pocket knife.

I flipped the blade and stared at it for several long minutes, it almost felt as if hours were slipping by by the time I decided to act. In a mechanical motion, I drew the sharp edge of the blade against my skin, but didn't press down hard enough to break skin. The cold metal sent shiver down my spine, but before I could back down from this, I ran the blade down the length of my arm with pressure this time.

Blood flowed freely from the wound, seeping over my pale skin and dripping down onto the tiled floor. A strangled noise left my lips, sounding like a muffled scream. Before I lost my strength, I dragged the blade clumsier down the length of my other arm, another barely muffled scream passing through my bitten lips.

I barely heard the banging on the door, and shouting, but it was distanced, as if it were coming from across the house rather than right outside the door. I blinked, once, twice, but the blurriness didn't fade from my vision. This numbed emptiness was a welcoming gift, free of the agony I faced daily living with the man I loved and his wife. Smiling faintly, my eyes fell closed just as the door banged open and a terrified scream shot through the air, a terrified scream of my name, coming from the person I loved with my entire being.

"Sasuke!"

Woohoo. No music quotes in this version. I forget the song I used last time ^^" don't be angry with me!

Reviews are a must!