Here it is...final chapter!

Chapter 12

Jamie was roused by the sound of two familiar voices and, strangely enough, a strong sense of deja vu even though he was only semi-conscious. He easily registered the headache threatening to split his skull in two, but he also felt a pinch at the back of his hand. And he definitely felt oxygen flowing under his nostrils from what surely was a nasal cannula...Jesus. Hospital? How the hell did he end up in the hospital again? he asked himself.

"How often is this kid gonna get smacked in the head?" a gruff voice griped.

"It's not like he asked for it," a soft female voice countered. "Poor Jamie," she sighed, as Jamie felt gentle fingers running through his hair.

"He's lucky that giant Harvard brain of his didn't ooze outta that enormous gash in the side of his head," the male grumbled.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," the female groused.

"Just saying...," the male voice shot back apologetically.

Danny and Erin, Jamie thought to himself as his eyelids fluttered open, only to find a stark white tiled ceiling...again. Jamie sighed softly and let his eyes slip back closed.

"Hey, look who's up...well, kinda," Danny said as he moved his face in front of Jamie's. "It's about damn time kid. We've been waiting for hours," he added roughly, but his expression confirmed that he'd been really worried about his kid brother.

"He says lovingly," Erin mocked before moving into Jamie's view next to her older brother. "How are you feeling, Jamie?" she asked, her brow creased in concern while her hand moved from his head to his arm which she squeezed reassuringly.

Jamie blinked sluggishly. He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open for longer than a few seconds, but he was doing his best to assess himself so that he could answer the question. "Head hurts again," he replied in a raspy voice.

Danny grimaced at Jamie's pasty-white complexion. It didn't seem that long ago that Jamie and Renzulli got pushed down a flight of stairs, something he assumed Jamie was referring to by saying 'again.' "I bet it does. Not sure you can stand another knock to the noggin, kid," he said. He was just relieved to see him awake and hear him talking.

Jamie grunted at Danny's statement, his eyes opening to half mast as they focused on the tie around his oldest brother's neck. One corner of his mouth curled into some semblance of a smile at both his brother's comment and his attire. "You got a suit on," he mumbled.

Danny frowned at the observation, but he didn't hesitate to fire back a smart remark. "Thanks, Captain Obvious."

Jamie closed his eyes again as he remembered what he had been doing just before he blacked out. "Where's Joe?" he asked when he reopened them again.

"What?" Erin asked in a breathy voice, looking over to Danny for confirmation that he had heard the same thing.

Danny was staring back at Jamie. His jaw had dropped suddenly when he heard him say their brother's name.

"Joe," Jamie repeated, not noticing the alarm on either Erin or Danny's faces in between long, slow blinks.

Danny's brow creased with worry and confusion. He didn't know what to do other than to state the obvious. "Joe's not here, Jamie," he replied carefully.

Jamie grunted again in response, not thinking anything of Danny's response; Joe must be around somewhere he assumed. Then he realized someone else was also missing. "Sydney? She still mad?" he wondered, remembering how badly they'd left things before he had stormed out of their loft.

Erin could only croak in response at the mention of another person who was no longer around. She'd turned as pale as her little brother as her mind raced with worry over the seriousness of a head injury that could have him forgetting something like their brother's death and believing is ex-fiancee was still in the picture.

Jamie now noticed the worry etched across both of their faces as his siblings looked to each other for answers. He slowly glanced around the small exam room to see if anyone else was there with them, his eyes returning to Danny and Erin when he confirmed that it was just the three of them.

"We need to get the doctor in here," Danny hissed urgently.

"Yeah," Erin agreed while jerkily shaking her head. "Like now. I'll go," she volunteered as she ran from the room.

Jamie was about to ask Danny what was wrong, but his father beat him to the punch.

"What's going on?" Frank asked from the doorway. Erin had passed him in the hallway, saying only that they needed the doctor.

"Dad," Jamie said, eyeing his father as he approached the gurney. Jamie got the strangest feeling that there was something different about him today.

Danny stood by quietly, still stunned that Jamie had asked for Joe and Sydney when he woke up.

Frank filled the spot Erin had vacated and gripped Jamie's cold hand in his large warm one. "Hey, son. You had us worried," he smiled in relief. His heart had skipped a beat when he'd gotten the call that Jamie had been hurt and was on his way to the hospital.

"More like have," Danny corrected his father.

Frank gave Danny a questioning look to which Danny could only shrug in response with a nod in Jamie's direction.

"You haven't left," Jamie said, pleased to see that he was still in town. He probably wasn't going to be thrilled about the mess he'd created by ignoring his advice, but it was comforting to just have him nearby.

Frank turned back to Jamie, the same look of confusion that he'd given Danny was now aimed at his youngest son. "Left? Where would I go?" he asked, feeling like he'd missed something.

"Home...D.C.," Jamie replied automatically.

"Washington?" Frank blurted out, at a complete loss about what Jamie was talking about.

Danny was now certain there was a lot more going on than a concussion. "I'm not sure he's all there, dad. Erin went to go find the doc," he advised his father, speaking in a soft voice through the side of his mouth as if Jamie wouldn't be able to hear him from where he lay on the gurney. But Jamie was too busy worrying about the mess that was his life to hear Danny's words.

A heavy frown sat upon Frank's face. He looked from Jamie to Danny and back again, still curious about what exactly was going through Jamie's mind. "Washington? Why would I go there, son?"

"Work...glad you're still here," Jamie said, pausing to swallow a small lump in his throat. "I messed up," he confessed sadly.

Frank attempted to follow along about as well as he could, but assumed that Jamie was referring to the chase and his subsequent attack. "How Jamie? You did nothing wrong," he assured him.

"Sydney...she's so mad about work," Jamie fretted. "Joe didn't tell you?"

"Joe?" Frank whispered as his head spun towards Danny to get some answers.

"Something's really wrong. He keeps asking about Joe and Sydney, dad. That's why Erin went to go get the doctor," Danny whispered.

Jamie looked from his father to his brother not understanding what Danny was talking about.

"Jamie...son -" Frank started to say before he was interrupted by the same doctor that had greeted him when he arrived at the emergency department.

"Commissioner Reagan, I understand our patient is with us again," the gray-haired physician said as he approached gurney. Despite the confusion the patient's sister described - which was not unusual with head injuries - he mistook the looks on the other men's faces for simple concern for an ailing family member.

Erin followed the doctor in, filling a spot at the end of the gurney to observe in the hopes that the doctor could figure out what was happening to Jamie.

It was now Jamie's turn to frown at the way his doctor addressed his father.

"Yes, Dr. Roberts. But it seems that he's a little confused," Frank answered gently.

"So I've heard," Dr. Roberts replied.

"Commissioner?" Jamie echoed as he studied his father. His father who he now realized wore a three-piece suit and a familiar lapel pin. Jamie's brows knitted together as he went on to look at his brother.

The doctor noted the confusion on his patient's face and proceeded with his examination. "Can you tell me your name?"

"What?" Jamie asked as he focused on the doctor.

"Your name?" the physician repeated as he brought a pen light out of his coat pocket.

Jamie flinched as the doctor flashed the light across his left eye, trying to pull away, but the doctor gently held his head still as he repeated the action on the right. "Jamie...Jamie Reagan," he replied.

"Good, Jamie. I'm Dr. Roberts. I'm the neurologist called in to consult on your case. Can you tell me the date?" he asked as he reached for a chart hanging against the wall.

"November, uh...," Jamie paused, realizing he had no idea of the day. "I, uh, I don't remember today's date," he admitted worriedly, looking to his father for the answer, but Frank knew this wasn't the time to be providing him any assistance.

"Do you remember the year?" Dr. Roberts asked while making some notes in the chart.

"Yeah, uh, 2011," he said, although it came out more like a question than a definitive answer.

"That's good," the doctor smiled kindly. "I understand you remember everyone here," he continued while pointing to the others in the room.

Jamie glanced over at his family. He was giving them the same confused expression they were giving him. "Yeah. Dad, Danny and Erin," he confirmed.

"That's excellent," Dr. Roberts praised, "but you're looking a little uncertain. How are you feeling?" he asked.

Jamie closed his eyes as his stomach twisted. "Head hurts...I don't know...kinda confused," he admitted again.

"Why's that?" the physician prompted.

"Why am I here?" Jamie asked them, not caring who gave him an answer.

Frank looked to Dr. Roberts to get the okay to provide some answers, to which the doctor gave him a quick nod.

"You were assaulted while trying to chase two perps," Frank informed him. "You took a pretty hard hit to the head."

"Perps?" Jamie repeated.

Danny brought his hands up onto his hips, exposing the gun and badge clipped onto his belt. "You need to stick with your partner or wait for back up next time, kid. You already forget that from the academy?" Danny gruffed.

"Academy..." Jamie repeated while staring at the items on Danny's waist. "I'm a cop?" he asked as he struggled to sit up. He then suddenly froze. Everything flashed through his mind like some movie reel and made sense again. It was a dream...all of it, he realized and a familiar sense of loss overcame him, dropping Jamie back onto the pillow with a heavy heart.

Erin reached for Frank's arm, needing to hold on to him as panicked at the grief they all saw on Jamie's face.

"Yeah, you're a cop. What else would you be?" Danny huffed, desperate for Jamie to make sense again.

Dr. Roberts now understood what the family was referring to. It wasn't unusual to forget a traumatic event or be off by a day or two on the date, but to not recall something like your occupation was worrisome. He turned to them and said, "I'm going to get him on the schedule for another CT, just to be on the safe side. Excuse me for a moment."

Frank could see the toll this was taking on Jamie but prodded gently, wanting to know how much of his memory was gone, whether he really didn't remember his brother's death and that he became a cop because of it - despite Jamie's denial of that very fact. "Jamie, why were you asking for Joe?"

Jamie's jaw clenched, closing his eyes when he felt them begin to tear up. "He's gone," he whispered, heartbroken that Joe - so real and happy and a football coach of all things - had only been a dream. He'd been so stupid, he thought. Even in the dream, he'd known that life wasn't real, but he wanted to believe so badly that he still had his whole family even when the rest of it didn't make any sense.

The others could only frown at his whispered words.

Jamie brought his arm up and over his eyes, not bearing to see their faces and not willing to let them see that he was on the verge of a breakdown. So he focused on keeping his breathing steady and thought of Joe - his voice, his constant support and that last hug they shared, letting it lull him into healing and peaceful sleep.

Frank was fully engrossed in his newspaper when he heard the sheets rustling on the bed. He brought one corner of the paper down and sat up, both surprised and relieved to find Jamie rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, son. I didn't think we'd be seeing you awake tonight," he said gently.

Jamie turned his head toward his father and gave him a small, tired smile. "Hey, dad," Jamie rasped in return.

"How are you feeling?" Frank asked as he folded up the paper and tucked it into the side of the recliner he was occupying.

Jamie considered the question for a few long moments. His head wasn't pounding like it had been the first time he woke up in the emergency room but he felt like he could sleep for a week. "Better...still tired," Jamie responded honestly.

Frank was glad to hear that. Jamie had slept most of the afternoon after the additional scans Dr. Roberts had ordered and the doctor had assured him that rest was what he needed the most right now. "Go back to sleep then," Frank suggested.

"I will," Jamie replied as he glanced around the rest of the room, a little surprised to find it empty. "Where are Danny and Erin?" he asked. Considering their encounter in the ER, Jamie would have assumed that they'd be around here somewhere.

Frank leaned forward and clasped his hands between his knees. "Danny has an early tour in the morning and Erin's at home with Nicky. I had to force them out of here. I figured you didn't need all three of us hovering over you," he explained.

Jamie gave him a quick tight smile, but didn't respond otherwise.

Frank could see that something was weighing heavily on his mind, something more than the assault that landed him in this hospital. "They're worried about you. We all are," Frank said.

Jamie glanced at his father, tired of concerned looks he'd been getting from him and everyone else. "I'm not crazy," he asserted. After seeing everyone in the ER and realizing things were as they should have been, he'd shut down, too tired to explain the reason behind his initial confusion. He knew who he was, what he did for a living, how he ended up here. He'd always known this was his life but he'd been stuck in some vivid never-ending dream and had started to believe that was real too.

"No one said you were," Frank soothed.

"I remember everything now...the paint job with Renzulli, chasing those two kids out by Prospect Park," Jamie assured his father. That we're all cops...that Joe's still dead, he thought to himself.

"That's good," Frank said, but he knew Jamie was leaving a lot unsaid.

"What time is it?" Jamie asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Late. The doctor confirmed you just have a concussion. You should be able to go home in the morning," Frank advised, fully aware of his tactic.

"Okay," Jamie said.

"Want to talk about it?" Frank asked.

Jamie shrugged, looking away while he picked at the ID bracelet on his wrist. He was hesitant to say anything about Joe, but he knew his dad well enough to know he'd wait him out until he finally talked.

"You look like you lost your best friend...again," Frank commented.

Jamie's head snapped up to meet his father's knowing eyes. That was kind of how he felt. He cleared his throat before he began. "I dreamt about him."

"Joe," Frank said softly, knowing exactly who 'he' was.

Jamie nodded. "All of you actually...Sydney too. None of us were cops," he said.

Frank smiled. "No? So what were we?"

Jamie returned his father's smile. "Nothing weird. I think I had that conversation from Sunday dinner last week stuck in my head," Jamie said.

Frank tilted his head as he thought back to the dinner conversation, smiling when the subject of alternate career choices came to mind. He remembered each of their responses.

"I was a lawyer. Joe was alive and Sydney and I were married," Jamie explained.

"Sounds like a good dream," Frank commented.

"Yeah," Jamie said wistfully. He stared aimlessly through the window at the darkened night sky as he continued, "But I knew it wasn't right and I just didn't feel like I belonged. I knew they were gone, both of them...knew it was a dream. But I couldn't get out of it and everything felt so damn real. And as freaked out as I was about it all, I started wondering whether being miserable as an attorney was the trade off for having them both back in my life," he paused momentarily, "or whether I could have the best of both worlds...quit my job to be a cop and have them too," Jamie explained.

"So what did you do?" Frank asked curiously.

"Tried to have my cake and eat it too," Jamie replied sadly, remembering the argument with Sydney before he finally woke up to reality.

"How'd that go for you?" Frank wondered.

"Not sure," Jamie shrugged and continued at his father's look. "I woke up here," he said, not wanting to rehash the part of the dream with Sydney. It appeared that it was the same in both worlds. Maybe it was a sign - they just weren't meant to be. Maybe he could finally let that go.

"Sounds like some dream," Frank said.

"Yeah," Jamie whispered as he got a faraway look on his face. He could still see Joe's smiling face up on the bleachers in his mind's eye. "God, I miss him," he whispered.

Frank pursed his lips and stared down at his hands, sharing the same thought. "Me too. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about your brother," he replied.

They were both quiet for a few moments as they thought of Joe.

Frank was first to break the silence. "The two of you were something else together," he said proudly.

Jamie's forehead creased, but he couldn't help grinning. "What do you mean?" he asked.

The more he thought of his two youngest sons, the more his face brightened. "You two had a bond like I've never seen. You were brothers and best friends. You were lucky to have that," he said. "You each seemed to always know what the other was thinking. I know you two would even cover for each other when you'd get jammed up," Frank said.

Jamie's struggled to wipe the grin from his face in an attempt to appear serious. "I don't know what you mean," he claimed.

Frank straightened up at the blatant lie. "Oh, come on! And you two were good at it...too damn good," Frank grumbled as he thought back to all of the times he'd suspected his two youngest sons were up to no good, one situation in particular coming to mind. "I still say it was one of you that pulled the downspout off the side of the house when you were sixteen...I just didn't have any evidence to prove it. I came this close," Frank held his thumb and index finger an inch apart, "to having CSU come over to the house to dust it for prints too," Frank admitted in frustration.

Jamie's eyes widened upon hearing his father bring up that story, of all things, but laughed at the memory. "I still don't know what you're talking about," he declared.

"Sure you don't," Frank muttered with a gleam in his eye.

"Lucky for you Joe was pretty handy around the house and fixed it for you," Jamie reminded him.

"Lucky for me or for you? If I recall correctly, you were right up there on a ladder helping him," Frank replied suspiciously.

"I'm a helpful kind of guy," Jamie boasted.

"Sure you are," Frank scoffed while giving Jamie a grin.

Jamie returned the smile until a large yawn escaped suddenly.

"You should get some more rest," Frank suggested again.

"You should go home and do that too. You don't need to watch me sleep," Jamie countered, his eyes already beginning to grow heavy again.

Frank nodded. "You're right. I'll head out as soon as my detail gets here," he said. His detail was actually waiting for him downstairs but he hadn't been willing to leave until he had a chance to check for himself that Jamie was okay. They'd both had a scare today and Jamie's added confusion when he woke up had done nothing to ease fears.

It wasn't long before Jamie was out again, his expression peaceful and his breathing deep and even. Frank stood slowly, his weary bones creaking after a long day spent in uncomfortable hospital chairs. He picked up his coat and leaned over to place a kiss on top of Jamie's head. "Sleep well, son," he whispered while running a gentle hand across his hair. Frank left the hospital room with no doubt that Jamie would bounce back from this incident like he did everything else...if his youngest was anything, it was resilient.

Renzulli stepped out of the passenger's seat of the RMP and onto the sidewalk along Mulberry street as he adjusted his service cap. "It's good to have you back, kid," he threw over his shoulder as he waited for his partner.

Jamie secured his own cap onto his head as he made his way from the driver's side of the car. "It's good to be back, Sarge," he declared. It was his first day back on patrol after the incident that left him unconscious in a Brooklyn alley and landed him the hospital for a night followed by seven days medical leave.

Renzulli began walking up the block with his partner. "I had to drive myself around for the past week, write up my own reports, fetch my own coffee, paint the rest of that damn Prospect Park house on my own," he complained.

Jamie pursed his lips as Renzulli listed each hardship. "Sounds like you had it real tough," he deadpanned.

"I did," the sergeant confirmed. "So next time you get the urge to take off without any back-up, think twice about all you put me through," Renzulli admonished.

"Will do, Sarge," came the automatic response from Jamie.

Renzulli came to a sudden stop, reaching out to grab Jamie's arm. "I'm serious, Reagan," he said, continuing when Jamie turned to meet his eyes. "Finding you bleeding and passed out in that alley took five years off my life, not to mention having to report that to the PC's office and dealing with your father and Danny at the hospital," he vented, stopping only because he had run out of breath.

Jamie knew it hadn't been easy for the older man. "I know, Sarge. I'm really sorry about that," he apologized.

"Yeah," Renzulli sighed and gave the kid a smile to let him know there were no hard feelings. "You sure you're ready for this?" he asked as he eyed the healing scar on the side of his partner's head.

Jamie nodded as he continued walking. "Doc cleared me. Headaches are gone. I'm good to go. I swear," he said.

"Good," Renzulli smiled while walking alongside his partner. "You know those two numbskulls that got the drop on you were in bond court yesterday," he said.

"So I heard," Jamie replied. Erin had been keeping him posted on the court proceedings.

"Both kids got rap sheets going back to preschool," Renzulli revealed.

"That's a shame," Jamie commented, but he certainly wasn't surprised to hear that bit of information.

"Yeah it is. And lucky for us they're not very bright," Renzulli pointed out.

Jamie came to a stop on the street corner, remaining aware of the pedestrians coming and going around them. "Yeah, they might have gotten away with it if they hadn't gone around showing everyone that picture of me in that alley," he replied. Danny had called him to break the news that his assailants had been caught and filled him in on how they'd been located.

"Taken with your own phone to boot. They probably used up all your minutes for the month too, those bastards," Renzulli joked. "I certainly hope they delete that before they give back your phone from evidence," he said. He'd had the misfortune of seeing it when the detectives had brought in the two little punks. He'd seen the same thing when he'd located Jamie in that alley and knew the kid didn't need to see it for himself.

"They can keep it. Already got a new one," Jamie said. And he had absolutely no desire to see that photo if he could help it; living through that had been bad enough. Inexplicably, Jamie turned his head to the left toward a small group standing across the street, doing a double take when he spotted a familiar brunette.

Renzulli carried on next to him, unaware that he'd lost his audience.

Jamie was stunned to be seeing Sydney a short distance away. He hadn't seen her since that day she flew off to London. She was with several other people, carrying on a conversation and smiling at whatever topic was being discussed. He couldn't help staring at her. She looked great; no surprise there. He also couldn't help but think about how good they were once.

But it was when she turned her head in his direction and spotted him in return that Jamie's breath caught in his throat. She had the same look of surprise on her face that he was certain was on his. Jamie stared across the street for another moment before sent her a small smile which was promptly returned. She too was frozen, unsure of what to do.

But then reality broke their spell.

"Hey, kid?! You coming or what?!" Renzulli yelled from halfway across the street. "Do I gotta light a fire under your butt after your week-long vacation, huh?"

Jamie looked at his partner before looking back at Sydney, sending her one last smile - a goodbye of sorts - before turning back to his C.O. This is his life, this is what feels right, he thought as he stepped off the curb. "No, Sarge. I'm with you," he replied while jogging to catch up.

"Damn straight you are," Renzulli said, clapping his partner on the back when he met him on the sidewalk.

So that's it! I hope you all enjoyed the ending. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a review.

On to the next one! Another J&E because I'm obsessed. :)