Disclaimer: I do not own Hiro Mashima's "Fairy Tail", but all original plots and characters are mine.

Summary

A collection of future Natsu/Lucy one-shots based off of my Fairy Ever After series. It will feature others characters and children.

Prompt Summary

Grocery shopping with the family is never easy.

From Fairy Small to Fairy Big

by

Magnafeana

Shop 'Til We Drop

Ages

Nashi: 8

Luke and Igneel: 6

Luna: 4

"Igneel Zeref Dragneel, you will let go of Nashi's hair now!"

"No, Luke, we are not getting more ice cream than we have!"

"Nashi Layla, don't you dare make me come over there!"

"Luna! No touching, sweetheart!"

Lucy rubbed her temples in agitation as she pushed the cart down the aisle with Luna in the children's seat, looking at everything in fascination. Hopefully, the rest of Lucy's children and husband were still following her. All she wanted was to go grocery shopping and maybe stop for lunch before heading back home to her rowdy house in the forest. But of course the minute she told everyone in the house she was leaving, they all swarmed to come with her. Natsu believed it would be some good family bonding time.

Family bonding time her butt.

"Ow!" came Nashi's shrill scream. Lucy felt someone tugging on her shirt and look down to see Nashi staring up at her with deep brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Mom! Iggy keeps hitting me!"

"Do not!" Igneel argued, running to Lucy's other side with frustration written on his face. "Nashi kept calling me names!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Nashi stuck her tongue out at her brother. "Well, you're just stupid," she retorted.

Igneel glared at her sister. "Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Not!"

"So!"

"Not!"

"So!"

"Kids!" Lucy bellowed. "Anymore of this and I promise you both of you will not be going over to Aunt Mira's picnic tomorrow, understand?"

Nashi and Igneel looked at their mother in shock before they reluctantly nodded, glaring at each other as they fell behind their mother. Lucy sighed. She hated giving out threats to her children. Neither of her parents had done so to her when she was young and she was bound and determine to never do the same with her kids. Natsu had thought the complete opposite. Being raised with Master Makarov and a dragon, Natsu was always threatened when he acted out and had no qualms using the tactic on their children Needless to say, the kids knew which parent they could talk to when they were in trouble.

Now, Lucy found Natsu's tactic even more appealing.

Lucy stopped the cart in front of Luke, looking down at him wearily. He was holding up a bag of chips. They were the spicy ones everyone in the family besides Lucy and himself enjoyed to eat. Lucy had to comply. "Fine," she relented. "Throw it in the cart, little man. Then why don't you go find your father and tell him he better hurry back here or else he'll be sleeping outside tonight?"

Luke smiled at her and put the bag of chips in the cart before walking away, looking for Natsu. Lucy had to admire Luke. Out of his siblings, he was the most rational. He wasn't quiet, but wasn't loud either. He kept his cool and helped her out whenever he could. He was always the one to stop Igneel from lashing out against Nashi and always wanted to watch his little sister.

Thank the stars Lucy had at least one normal child.

Lucy heard Luna's giggle and instantly looked to see Luna reaching over to touch a few pickle jars, nearly managing to grab one. Lucy's eyes widened in panic as she took Luna's hands away from the jars. "No, Luna," Lucy scolded. "No grabbing things!"

Luna looked up at her mother with those adorable emerald-hazel eyes before her bottom lip started trembling and she looked at the ground.

Lucy sighed as she took a hand and raked it through her youngest daughter's strawberry blonde hair. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but you can't touch everything," Lucy chided. "But how about after all this shopping, we get some lunch, huh? We can get your favorite! Chicken nuggets!"

Luna looked up at her mother with a watery smile. "Okay," she agreed. "But you gotta promise."

Lucy smiled. Her daughter was getting cleverer every day. Definitely from her side. "As a Celestial Mage, I promise after we shop, we will go get lunch and Luna will get chicken nuggets," Lucy vowed with a straight face.

Luna giggled. "Silly Mommy."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Silly Mommy whatever. Now let's keep moving. We have a lot more to go."

As Lucy pushed her way into the next aisle, she suddenly heard a crash and crying with shouts following it. Instantly, Lucy pushed the cart to where the noise came from. Please don't be my kids. Please don't be my kids, she prayed as she arrived at the scene of the crime.

Apparently, praying wasn't enough.

Bottles of Poca-Cola knocked over and sprayed all over Igneel and Nashi and one of the workers of the grocery store was glaring menacingly at the children. "Darn brats!" he growled. "I told ya not to push each other and look what happened!"

Lucy approached the man, trying to keep her cool. "Excuse me, I have to apologize for my children's behavior. I can assure you neither one were purposely trying to knock over anything, and I'll pay for all damages." The words sounded well0rehearsed. She had recited to about nearly every store owner in Magnolia. She swore she could never take her kids anywhere.

Actually, at the moment, they were Natsu's kids.

The man glared at her for a moment. However, after giving her an once-over, he broke into a toothy grin, eyes darkening at her. Lucy wanted to snort and growl at the same time. Perverted old men may not have fazed her, but she was getting tired of being looked at like a piece of meat. Instead, she gave him a tight smile and gripped the cart harder, causing Luna to look at her mother curiously.

"Are you the mother of these kids, pretty lady?" the man asked in a purr.

Lucy wanted to snap at him that she was married and would never be interested, but she forced her smile. "Why, yes. And I would appreciate if we could find someone to clean this up, and if I could give your manager money for his or her broken merchandise. I am sincerely sorry for this accident, and hope their manager will forgive me."

"I'm sure he'll forgive you," the man promised, edging close to her. "But I don't know if he'll want money from you."

Lucy cocked her head, trying to play innocent. Slowly, she allowed her magic to quietly take over. She was prepared to knockout this man should he attempt to touch her. "Oh, really? And what would that be?" she asked, feigning innocence.

The man gave her another look over, this time slower, as he approached her. "Why not meet him? I'm sure he'll have something in mind after he sees you," he tried to persuade.

Lucy fought back a growl. "I'll have you know that I am happily married," she informed him as she began to push her cart away from him. Come on, Luke, Natsu, where are you two?

The man raised an eyebrow as he advanced toward her, stopping her cart from moving with a hand. "Oh, really now? And where's this 'husband' of yours?" he inquired.

Lucy struggled to push the cart and keep Luna close to her. "Excuse me, sir, but can you ple—?"

"Oh, Lucy! There you are! I was—What's going on here?" came an angry voice.

Lucy knew that angered voice anywhere. That was the voice of her ticked-off husband. Lucy looked over her shoulder to see Natsu behind her, arms full of food. Luke was carrying a few food items, but Natsu took the brunt of it. From what it looked like, Natsu got everything else that was on the list. Good. That meant they could leave sooner.

Lucy looked at the man to see his face had gone pale at the sight of Natsu. She smirked. "Sir, this is my husband Natsu Dragneel. Natsu, this kind gentleman was telling me we wouldn't have to pay for your kids' damages."

Natsu momentarily lost his anger to give Lucy a raised eyebrow. "My kids?" he repeated. "When did they become my kids?"

Lucy smiled sweetly at them. "Since they started this whole mess and you don't want to sleep outside."

Natsu gulped, backing a way from Lucy. "I understand now," he told her. His snapped back onto the man and he gave him a smile full of teeth. "Hey buddy, back off my wife. You don't want to mess with me. Then again, I've been itching for a fight and I guess you'd do."

"Natsu!" Lucy barked. "Fight and see what happens to you when we get home!"

Natsu sighed heavily. "Okay, let's just go with you don't want to mess with me. And if I can't kick your nutt, my wife will. She kicks my ass enough as it is," he added in a low mutter.

Lucy looked at him through narrowed eyes. "What was that?" she growled at him.

Natsu gave her a nervous smile. "N-Nothing at all, honey," he chuckled with a wavering voice.

The man immediately bowed to Natsu. "Of course, Mister Dragneel! I would never want to do anything to your family, you have my word!" he said pathetically.

Natsu grinned. "Good. Now run along. My wife and I have kids to take care of."

The man nodded quickly. "Yes, sir! Of course, sir!" he squeaked and scurried away in no time.

Lucy let out a puff of frustrated air. "Oh of course he'd bend over backwards for you," she bit as she took some of the items from Natsu's arms and put them in the car. "Anyone would bend for the great Natsu Dragneel."

Natsu frowned as Lucy kept muttering to herself, setting things down in the cart with her. "Lucy, you know that's not true," he argued. "They respect you as much as they do me."

Lucy sighed, setting down the last of the food. "Yeah, I guess. Sorry. The kids have been a little rough on me," she said.

Natsu smiled at her as he finished setting down a carton of milk. He opened his arms and Lucy instantly was in them, snuggling against his chest. Natsu put his arms around her, inhaling her scent. "Why don't we check-out and get some lunch, yeah? You're always cranky when you're hungry," he told her.

Lucy nodded into his chest. "Yeah. That sounds great," she mumbled.

"Chicken nuggets!" Luna burst.

Lucy and Natsu pulled away to give their littlest girl amused stares. "That's right. I promised Luna chicken nuggets wherever we go," Lucy told him, swooping down to give the laughing Luna a kiss on the cheek.

Natsu poked Luna's nose, making her smile. "Anything for my baby girl," he said.

"What about me?"

Natsu and Lucy looked over to see Nashi and Igneel out of the Poca-Cola puddle, their clothes soaked, and skin sticky with hair all over the place. Nashi looked at her father in expectance. "I'm your baby girl too, right?" she asked him.

Natsu chuckled. "Of course you are," he assured her. "But my baby girl and little dragon need to get cleaned up. You two definitely made a mess," he told them, making them give him sheepish grins.

Lucy snorted. "They are your kids," she emphasized.

Natsu nudged her playfully and nodded at their kids. "Go to the bathroom you two and watch your hands and arms. We'll talk about punishment later," he instructed.

Nashi and Igneel begrudgingly nodded and turned around, trekking away.

"This is all your fault," Nashi muttered to her younger brother.

Igneel scowled at her. "Is not!" he denied.

"Is so!" Nashi insisted.

"Is not!"

"Is so!"

"Is not!"

"Is so!"

Lucy shook her head in amusement and exasperation as she watched the two walk away together, their shouting increasing in volume with each step. She sighed. "Those two will never quit."

Warm arms encircled her waist and puffs of breath fanned her neck right over her Mark. "How about after the kids go to bed, I take care of my favorite girl," Natsu suggested lowly in her ear.

Lucy shivered at Natsu's low tone. "What do you have in mind, Natsu?" Lucy whispered back at him breathlessly.

Natsu purred at his name. "Why don't we—?"

"Mom, what does 'ass' mean?" came Luke Dragneel's innocent question—

—which instantly killed the mood.

Lucy's eyes widened and she looked over at her son as he looked up at her with curious dark honey-hazel eyes. "Where on Earth Land did you hear that?" Lucy asked him.

"From Dad," Luke informed her.

Lucy rounded on her fear-stricken husband. She clenched her fists as she glared at Natsu with eyes full of anger. "Natsu Dragneel…" she hissed at him.

Natsu took a step back, holding his hands in surrender. "Lucy, it was an accident, I swear!" he pleaded.

"That is it! You're sleep on outside tonight!"

There came a distant crash, followed by crying and yelling somewhere in another aisle. Another employee seemed to be shouting while a small, boyish yelled back, defiant.

Lucy suddenly turned away from Natsu and went back to the cart, pushing it away from him. "Come, Luke, we're going to lunch," she told her youngest son.

As Luke obediently padded after his mother, Natsu dared to ask: "What about me?"

Lucy didn't even stop, nor give him a glance. "I don't know who you are, but I suggest you deal with your kids. They're causing quite a scene in such a public place. Why, I bet your wife would be severely disappointed in you for letting them run amuck like this. So upset that she may not let you inside the house for three days."

Natsu's eyes widened. "Y-You can't do that to me!" he pleaded. "Come on, Lucy, I need you with me!"

"Should have thought of that before you swore in front of my son," Lucy shouted back. She disregarded all of Natsu's pleaded as she pushed the cart down the aisles and toward the checkout lines. Honestly, she could use a glass of wine and watch a sappy movie with Levy or maybe a relaxing bath—anything to calm her down.

As Lucy, Luna, and Luke waited in the checkout aisle, Luke spoke up. "Mom, does this mean Dad isn't our real Dad and Igneel and Nashi aren't my brother and sister?" he wondered.

Lucy smiled at her son. She wasn't mad at him at least. "Of course not," she assured. "I was just saying that to show your dad how mad I am."

Luke nodded in slow understanding. "So he's sleeping outside because he was bad?"

Lucy hummed her affirmative.

"Does that mean you'll make me sleep outside if I do something bad?" Luke asked her, fearful.

Luke shook her head quickly. "I would never do that to you or your brother and sisters. I promise that as a Celestial Mage," she vowed, making Luke look at her in relief. "Your dad used to like sleeping outside all the time. But then when he and I met, he liked to sleep wherever I was. So I'm putting him outside because he won't be able to sleep with me. That's his punishment for being bad."

"Oh," was all Luke responded with.

Lucy took on of the magazines off the rack to exam as Luna kept herself occupied with looking at the people around them. The magazine Lucy took was Dream magazine with new fashion lines she was sure Evergreen had already looked at. Maybe she would have to go shopping with Ever again. She did new dresses for the girls as well as herself. Maybe a girls' shopping day was what they needed.

"Mom?" Luke called.

"Hmm? What is it, sweetie?" Lucy asked absently.

"What does 'fuck' mean?" Luke asked.

Lucy nearly dropped the magazine as she whirled on her son in open-mouthed shock. "Where did you hear that word? You're not supposed to say that!" Lucy scolded.

Luke lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Mom. But I heard Dad say it when we were walking away." He looked at his mother curiously. "What does it mean? Is it really a bad word? Because I hear him say it all the time. And, um, Mom?"

Lucy's eyebrow twitched. Natsu has been swearing around the kids for a while, had he? Oh, she would show him. "You can bet your father isn't coming inside the house for awhile," Lucy told Luke in a low snarl.

"Mom—"

"How dare he think he can say vile language in front of our kids?" Lucy ranted. "He knows better than that!"

"Mom—"

"I shouldn't have expected him to listen," Lucy told herself, ignoring Luke. "He never listens. Well this time, I've had it!"

"Mom—!"

"If he thinks he'll be sleeping next to me for a while, he's got another thing—!"

"Mom!"

"What?" Lucy snapped at Luke.

Luke pointed at his sister. "Luna's trying to get a lighter," he told her frantically.

Lucy's eyes snapped onto her daughter to see her laughing as she tried to grab hold of a lighter, the hazardous object brushing against her fingertips. Lucy lurched forward, panic in her brown eyes. "Luna, don't touch that!"

Lucy made a solemn vow to never bring her kids or husband with her grocery shopping ever again.