A/N: Hey guys, so I decided to post this a little earlier than planned...so, here it is! Anyways...here it is! How wonderful...

CHPT 1: Half a league

I would like to know, why you thought this was a good idea.

Um...Would 'I was bored' suffice?

No.

In this Episode of Space Brigade.. wrong series...oops. Wheeljack makes an invention.

"This is suppose to do what again?" Sideswipe looked over Wheeljack's shoulder, his twin brother on the other side. Jazz was on the other side of the table, watching with rapt attention to the tiny little device that Wheeljack was building because currently, he was on light duty since he got resurrected. Well, tiny for their standards, for a human it would likely be as big as a cow.

"Space bridge." Wheeljack said offhandedly, not really explaining anything due to his concentration. He was a little sorry for how rude he was, but that couldn't be helped.

It was a delicate operation, one where he prefered not to have any distraction. In fact, Optimus even said not to bother him. One wrong move could destroy him, the lab and the universe itself. There was no room for failure. None at all.

It did not help that the Twins had decided to hang around him for the day. On their own discretion, no less. Those two liked to either stay in their quarters all day or slack off in the rec room. Maybe even play a prank or two and spend the next days in the brig, making everyone hate them.

But frankly, the brig was just a roped off area in a hanger with automatic shock-balls that shooted randomly during the duration of the punishment. This actually made the bots happy, as they had entertainment on their off time. Shock-balls were the ingenious idea of one of the organics that lived on the planet.

Wheeljack was sure the organic currently on Sideswipe's shoulder name was 'Epps', but he was quite sure as why would an organic name its offspring after a sound.

Anyways, shock-balls are brightly coloured paintballs in optic-blinding colours that delivered nasty little shocks, enough not to hurt them, but enough to surprise them. The paint was also a quick-dry and took forever to come off.

The twins hated this 'brig' for very different reasons.

But they liked the organic who gave him the idea.

Huh, go-figure.

Back on topic, building space bridges were a specialised task, one that took many vorns of schooling. Expensive schooling. Each 'bot had to have a certain frame, the right processor and many other qualities that if a noble found a gamma walking around in a slum with over half of the attributes required, they'll fund that 'bot if they get 25 percent of the share they make.

Its why Nobles were both liked and hated by many.

And that, kids, is how assholes were born. No seriously, nobles and the mechs they fund are all assholes.

Space bridges were delicate machinery, as said before. They could destroy universes, and if that one guy...what's-his-face...didn't make a time machine, they would've all been dead before the first wire was cut!

Even the 'ittle squishies that somehow survived an ice age when large reptilians could not. Seriously, how cool would it be to meet dinosaurs? Dinosaurs that could talk and do stuff together! Like, a whole little system?

Honestly, after this, he's building some dinos. He didn't know where the last ones went...Porto Rico, maybe? Or was it the planet Pitro Roci, they sound the same anyways.

As for space bridges, Wheeljack was qualified as a scientist, an inventor, a demolitions expert, medic, fireman (That's what organics say), poisonous gasses expert, so many more. Sadly, he was not, nor will ever be, a space bridge technician.

Sure, he was this close to becoming one, but sadly, it didn't interest him at all back them.

Stupid naive younger Wheeljack…

But Optimus trusted this duty to him, and he will fulfil it to the best of his abilities! Ratchet can wrench him in the afterlife if he screws up! Wait...that doesn't sound pleasant. Plus he can always comm. Bulkhead if he needed help, he almost graduated! As organics say 'a hell-a lot better than him'!.

Wait...He's currently on some red planet like Mars or sitting around on Cybertron drinking his spark out, the lazy slob. Plus comms. don't go that far...still screwed.

Screwed as the bolts in his behind.

"Cool." Sunstreaker nodded, seeming generally interested. Not a whole lot, but it was like a kid learning how to do their favorite subject in school or something while still trying to be a badass dumb jock. For Sunstreaker, that subject would be 'how to kill a mini-bot without Prowl or Jazz or Ratchet or Prime or anybody finding out'.

"Where are we supposed to go?" Epps, the dark organic asked, "Pluto?"

"No." Wheeljack all but growled as he screwed in the last bolt. "Cybertron."

"Cybertron? But isn't that place gone?" Dark squishy inquired, looking lost as the normally happy mech was acting pisser than Sunstreaker on a bad day, annoyed by his brother and had his paint scratched one too many times.

"Yes 'nd no, Epps." Jazz spoke, "see, cybertron kinda hard ta destroy. There's metal stronger than wha' 'hide's cannons could destroy, so it's still standin'."

"Seriously? That's good news." Epps beamed, as bright as it-he could. Gotta start working on those gender pronouns Wheeljack...remind him in a couple of days when he's not fragging working!

"Yep, dat means Boss can finally start workin' on gettin' some reinforcements, cuz we aren't up in range of tha' nearest outpost." Jazz smirked.

"It also means I need to test this soon." Wheeljack growled, a little more than pissed, as he held up the device he hadn't recharged in days for. Granted, he was still on Cybertron time and didn't really get into the whole '24 hours a day' thing yet.

"Really?" Sideswipe also looked interested, but thats most likely for the brownies points he'll get when he says he 'helped'.

"Can we come?" It seemed Jazz was also looking to tally up more brownie points.

Wheeljack debated. On one servo, if he was to mess up, he could blame these three for the distraction they would cause. Good, that's one pro… Cons; Death, destruction, failure, dismantlement by Ratchet…

Was he a pessimist or what?

Against his better judgement, and the most useful weapon known to the galaxy, (Henceforth known as the name 'puppy eyes')he finally spoke, "Alright." Three automotive robotic organisms and one homosapien cheered, a yellow fist accidentally knocking into Wheeljack's shoulder, which started a chain reaction.

Since the octan coloured race car was running on fumes, his arm twitched, causing a massive shudder go through his build, making him lose hold of the very compact and very, very, very dangerous space bridge, making said box drop to the ground.

It was silent for a few seconds as the five residents looked at each other in unmasked horror before it imploded then exploded.

Yes, imploded and exploded are not the same, imploded means 'caving in at an exponential rate' and exploded means BOOM!

Two completely different things.

But, alas, this is not a dictionary, so 'Compact space bridge went BOOM!' might sound better to feeble minds.

Stupid organics…

After the space bridge decided that it would make explode, it made a large cloud of soot that had them all wheezing and coughing. When the smoke finally cleared, what surprised them was not the 30-some blocky-looking cybertronians standing around, looking at them like they were either A) prized animals ready to be slaughtered or B) with suspicion that Red Alert would be proud of.

No, it was that they were NO LONGER IN THE FRAGGING LAB!

The only sound that came that was hearable in the diameter of about 5 miles was "huggggggghhh…" That sound came from the one and only Sideswipe, the pit spawn.

Wheeljack was fuming on the inside, glaring down at the ground where the remnants of the tiny space bridge was charred.

Jazz raised his servos in the air, "We surrender..?" All was quiet for a few moments before one of the more dark coloured bots raised his pistol, red visor gleaming.

In a voice that sounded, exactly liked Jazz's, he said loud and clear, "Autobots don't take prisoners." At that, they began shooting. Both at them and the more friendlier looking bots.

Sideswipe screeched in alarm, the bullets bouncing off his hardened armour as he moved to protect the tiny organic situated on his shoulder. Sunstreaker snarled and moved to cover his twin, mainly from the weirdos in the dark colours and maybe the other nutjobs in the lighter colors.

Jazz had already sprung up a huge shield that sadly, wasn't big enough to cover the twins as they were both taller than the inventor and the SpecOps leader. Wheeljack just stood there, not moving, not bothering to listen to the mass destruction that was going on.

"'Jackie, might be a good time for one of ye bombs!" Jazz growled to the inventor behind him. Ratchet would not like how low he was at, holding onto the device that made the shield, 'too taxing' he would say. "'Jackie!"

"WHEELJACK!"

"FRAG OFF, I AM MOURNING MY HARD WORK!" Wheeljack screeched in answer to Sideswipe's yell when he wasn't responding. A few blocky mechs paused in their shooting, listening in. It was mainly the weirdos, but there were a few nutjobs.

"I don't care if you lost your fragging leg, THROW ONE OF YOUR DAMN BOMBS YOU GLITCHED WRECKER!" Sunstreaker growled, acting like a lion that was ready to slaughter every single person in existence because he could. Or like Megatron on a good day, whichever you prefer.

"Fine, fragit!" Reaching into his subspace, Wheeljack pulled out a homemade, very destructive and most likely not-going-to-work bomb before popping the top and throwing it over to the weirdos. "There, ya happy?" A loud explosion and mechs yelling in surprise as Wheeljack gestured with his hands in the directed area.

"Marginally." Jazz murmured before Epps was dumped into the tight space between the silver body of the silver solstice and the device holding up the shield that was the size of a car. "Now, keep throwing."

With the extra load gone, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe jumped into the fray, blades of Carbon Platinum Lead enforced Cybertronium edged Magnum with hollars of glee and rage.

"Just don't hit Sunny and Sides."

"One thing at a time." Wheeljack glowered before someone yelled out a retreat. As the weirdos backed off, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe let out yollars of challenge, one pretty much saying in gladiator language, 'COME BACK HERE YA PUSSY'. Jazz let down the shield and scooped a whing Epps into his arms.

Apparently, Epps was becoming a sponge when it comes to destruction that the twins cause.

One of the nutjobs walked forward, "Thank you for your involvement in stopping the Autobots." He was large and had a sterling silver paintjob with blue optics.

"Yeah! We would've been toast!" A seeker, if the wings were anything to go by, bounced over before looking behind the sabotaged and the Pi-oed inventor. "Are those two alright?"

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were currently grappling with each other, laughing and creating unneeded dents in their armour.

"Yah, they'll just beh as high as a seeker on high grade for ah bit." Jazz waved him off. "They'h need to get it outta their system."

"Oh, alright." The seeker seemed slightly apprehensive about that, as if he didn't really believe them. "Anyways-"

"What are your designations?" The sterling silver bot asked, a decepticon symbol displayed squarely on his chest.

"Ah'm Jazz, that's Wheeljack, those are the twins, Sunstreaker in the gold and Sideswipe in the silver and this is Robert Epps!" Jazz held out the human in his servos after introducing each of the autobots. "Say hi Epps!"

"Hi."

The nutjobs all looked at them like they were going to kill them any second now. Or kill Epps in front of their very optics.

"Jazz?"

"Yeah little guy?"

Epps looked up at Jazz's visored face, "I think they're scared of you. Like, scared that you'll murder them in your sleep or something like that."

Jazz tilted his helm, "Well Ah have done that before."

"JAZZ!"

"Wha', I dun't lie ta ya little man." Jazz placed the army guy on his shoulders. "Ain't very heroic of meh, huh?"

"You died." Sideswipe popped in behind Jazz, scaring the ever living daylights out of the nutjobs.

Jazz pointed a finger in Sideswipe's face, "Heroic-ly."

"Still died." Sunstreaker said, from the other side, making a few trigger-happy mechs point guns at him.

"Can we stop talking about how Jazz died and tell me HOW THE PIT WILL YOU FIX THIS!" Wheeljack screeched, gesturing to the charred remains of the space bridge. Wheeljack, as a very nice, joyful character, was still mad that someone had bumped into him. "I did not work on this for 48 days for you guys to destroy it when it's dropped!"

Wheeljack stalked over to Jazz and pointed a servo in his faceplate, "So you're the superior officer, you tell me what I'm suppose to do!"

"...Fix it?" Jazz shrugged, looking slightly scared for his life as he silently passed Epps to Sideswipe under his arm.

"Fix it." Wheeljack said slowly, a glare rivaling Ratchet's on his face, "Fix it you say. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN IT'S A HOLE IN THE GROUND! There's nothing left!

"Optimus told me to have to done by today and I-"

"Wait, Optimus?" A random grunt from the on looking Nutjobs asked, interrupting Wheeljack's little speal.

Wheeljack turned his glare to the robot who spoke, "Yes, Optimus. Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, Matrix bearer, that Optimus."

Sterling silver guy spoke up, "The leader of the Autobots is Optronix, not this 'Optimus Prime'."

Megatronus Prime looked on as the faceplates of the imposters gained a level of horror. It seemed that they had either misplaced this information or never knew of it at all. Starscream stood behind him, slightly scared as he watched the 'Sunstreaker', a nice golden bot that actually stood up to the name and 'Sideswipe', a silver bot, look at each other before speaking over some sort of bond.

Erratically, if the really jerky movements of their arms swinging wildly in gestures that spoke words.

'Wheeljack' had frozen, looking like a deer in the headlights. He was just ranting about how this 'Space Bridge' had been destroyed after hours of hard work, but now he hadn't uttered a peep.

And finally, 'Jazz', who was currently trying to calm down a surprised dark-skinned male organism by the name of 'Epps'. He looked quite angry for not knowing something.

Megatronus mused, they were nothing like their names.

Jazz was a black and blue porsche with a knack for destroying very important stuff, killing many in the process. He had no humour, other than a sick twisted one, and loved to play riddles. He had the same accent as this 'Jazz', but unlike the imposter, Jazz was never relaxed, cool or as content in his own frame as this 'Jazz'. Plus, he despised any type of living being, and if this 'Jazz' was anything to go by, it was that he loved the tiny homospaiens.

Wheeljack was an inventor and his inventions always worked; time bombs. He invented weapons that always did everything they were suppose to. He was sadistic, maniacal and enjoyed watching Ratchet take apart prisoners. He was always murmuring under his breath about upgrades, updates or simply singing a very disturbing song. He was never a 'wrecker', whatever that was, and often never came out onto the field.

This Wheeljack seemed to not be in character, if the faces of the 'Twins' were anything to go by. He seemed to have inventions that also worked, but with the many scars on his faceplate, that was an unlikely story. And when he threw that bomb, it looked slightly like a human toaster oven…

Megatronus looked to the ground. Yes, it was a toaster oven.

Sideswipe was a pale blue and had chunks missing from his frame and armour, not in perfect working condition like 'Sideswipe'. Sideswipe was quick to anger and often got into fights. Every little sarcastic comment went over his head and he thought very literal. He always had a blank face-plate and the only emotion it ever had was sadistic glee. Unlike 'Sideswipe', he had never been a gladiator, nor needed some cool-down time from a rush.

(That roar, if anyone knew what it meant, was pretty damn repulsive. It called the other bot any name in the book)

Sunstreaker did not live up to his name, being black and purple. His favorite weapons were chains and had scratches everywhere and did not upkeep his frame like he should. He was lazy, a slob, but he was polite. He had the patience of an Alpha and the humor of a glitch-mouse. He was the ringleader in a little group that often did the most damage in battles. Many thought that he would be a Decepticon if not for his brother.

Megatronus already liked this 'Sunstreaker' better. The golden armour that looked like it was just painted and the narrowed look he gave almost everyone. The swords were a nice touch, but no one ever uses them.

"What do yah mean, 'Optronix' is the leader of the Autobots?" 'Jazz' finally spoke, cupping 'Epps' in his servos like a bird.

"Just that," Megatronus addressed 'Jazz'. "And I do not know where you got how he is a Prime, as I bear the Matrix of Leadership.

"I am Megatronus Prime."

More looks of horror before 'Sideswipe began laughing, falling over his wheeled peds(Just what are those for). The group looked at their fallen comrade.

"Ol' Megs is a Prime!AHAHAHAH!" 'Sideswipe laughed, kicking around in a circle. "Jackie sent us to a different dimension! BWAHAHA!"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" 'Wheeljack' yelled to the sky.

'Sunstreaker' gave an evil look and punched his servos together, "Hey Jazz..?"

'Jazz' looked at the sunny warrior, not bothered on how murderous he looked, "Yep?"

"Does this mean I can punch mini-bots and not get punished for it?" On second thought, Megatronus thought this one fitted right in with the Autobots if not for his optic blinding color.

'Jazz' gave 'Sunstreaker' a funny look, "Tha's the first thing ya think about…" the yellow warrior looked at him, "But yeah, sure. Paint them neon while ye at it."

"WOOOOHOO!" 'Sideswipe jumped up, "C'mon Sunny, lets find their base and raid it!" This Sideswipe was a hyperactive ball of metal. Dangerous metal.

'Sunstreaker' growled, "Don't call me Sunny."

"Cheer up Sunshine." The organic snickered before he got into the air. A few of the army raised the weapons, after lowering them for a fraction.

"Primitive organic." Sunstreaker snarled.

"Giant trash can." Epps snarked back, ignoring the fact his shirt was pinched between claws, CLAWED?!, digits.

"Flesh bag."

"Automotive malfunction."

"Your creator is a hamster!"

"At least my liked me!"

"Buuuuuuuuuuuurrrn~" Sideswipe whispered.

"Sideswipe!" Sunstreaker snapped, continuing when Sideswipe gave a confused look, "We're twins ditwit."

"Yeah, but it was still a good burn." It seemed that these 'Twins' had completely disregarded them as a threat...seriously. The faceplate on 'Jazz' seemed to be saying the same thing, as if it was normal.

'Wheeljack' still had not said anything other than that last outburst to the sky and was currently glaring at it, looking inside himself for some odd reason.

"Uhhh…." Starscream spoke up behind Megatronus, still crouched in fight-or-flight stance. All but Wheeljack's eyes snapped towards him, "So you are autobots?"

The twins looked at each other, as if contemplating the idea. 'Jazz' nodded, smiling. Starscream trembled, "Are you going to kill us?"

"Pit no!" Sideswipe yelled, startling them all, "'Cause, judging by what that blue and black bot said about autobots not taking prisoners and that Ol' Meggsy is a Prime," At this, Megatronus felt a murderous vibe in his processor, but that might just be a glitch… "I think you might be the good guys! Good guys always win! Right Jazz?"

Jazz tapped his clawed, what is with the claws?! , digits against his cheek, "I wouldn't say we're exactly good per say.."

"Yes, Sides, good guys always win." Sunstreaker deadpanned, smacking his servo to his face and pulling it down in the same movement.

"See! Plus, it's not like you're Starscream-" Sideswipe continued, seeing how Starscream jumped behind Megatronus. "Wait- you're designation is Starscream?" Starscream nodded, cowering behind Megatronus, giving the warlord wings.

"We are switching them out." Jazz said, after a few long seconds of wide, blue optics staring at the seeker.

"Agreed." The organic raised its little servo.

"Sweet Primus," Wheeljack had finally paid attention, "It's not screechy…"

"...The world is ending…" Sunstreaker muttered in horror, hand raised slightly, as if getting ready to point.

Megatronus wondered, what was their Starscream like, if they had this reaction to the smaller seeker.

Starscream was a great second in command, always giving input to plans when needed. He was light and fast on his feet, almost always doing three or more things at the same time. The seeker was brightly colored in whites, blues and reds, becoming a little more patriotic by adding a blue star, the union jack, a maple leaf, a fleur de lis, the nordic cross and many others on his wings for their human comrades. So much so that it was just a giant collage of world symbols, all but terrorist organisations and religious symbols. He loved the smaller organic versions of themselves and would often spend every moment available with them. Granted, he was a coward, but that's just life skills trying to keep him alive.

But they want to switch him out, "I cannot allow you to do that, autobots." Primus, it sounded wrong to call them that, they weren't, as humans say it, blood thirsty. They couldn't take Starscream.

"Chill, mech, we weren't serious." 'Jazz' help his servos up, still doing that primus awful smirk. It was so irritating, yet…

"Yep! 'Cause the only reason I wanna hit our Starscream is because of his voice!" Sideswipe brightly smiled before grimacing, "If you heard nails on a chalkboard, it's about a bajillion times worse!"

"Plus he's a backstabbing son of a glitch." Sunstreaker inputted, unhelpfully. Wheeljack nodded while the other two just looked amused. "Tried to kill Megatron a few too many times."

"Did my other self have a death wish?!" Starscream shuddered in horror, couldn't imagine himself doing that. He liked Megatronus, and couldn't possibly believe that the other him was so foolish to get himself kille-

"Yeah, it's a wonder why Megsy didn't offline him yet."

-d. Apparently he is still alive, greeeeeaaat.

"Maybe he likes him?"

"Nah…"

The twins looks at each other with identical grins of mischievousness and glints in their optics. Please, Primus, keep them away from everyone.

Next Episode; The Nemesis and Optronix needs to learn that, no, recruiting a bright yellow sociopath is not how you win a war.

A/N: So, how was that? I've taken some liberties with the whole 'Wheeljack' thing, but you'll see what happens!

If anyone has any ideas for different worlds they should travel to, please tell me!

Magic Out!