Okay guys here is a new one. I know some of you have been waiting for updates to Gabriel and Secrets and I promise I have not ended those, they will be finished. But everytime I have sat down to work on those this story has popped up. I can't tell you how many chapters I have had to delete. I would start to proof read them and realize that there were two stories on the page so I just decided to get this one on paper. I hope that by putting this on paper I can clear my head.

Now this one is an AU fic set in season 4 so please make note of that. I really don't want to get the emails telling me this is out of character. I really am attempting to write a mature version of each of our hero's.

My wife, the lovely Mrs. Kingdaddy asked me to write a relationship story, and has been eagerly awaiting it. So here is my attempt at something other than a military, spy thriller.

Thanks to LadyAilith for her brilliant work as my editor. I am so blessed to have her working with me, she is by far the better end of this partnership. Also my lovely wife for the proof reading and story suggestions.

As you know I own nothing but a computer and an over active imagination.

Chapter 1

It was Wednesday and Richard Castle was sitting in his office staring at a computer screen that was telling him he should be writing, and he should. He knew that he should, but he just couldn't. He hadn't been able to for the past four months. The four months since Kate Beckett had been shot.

He hadn't heard from her in the past four months. He had seen her two days after her shooting when he visited her in the hospital. She said then that she needed a little time and would call him. He was still waiting for that call. Well that wasn't entirely true; her phone had called him on June twentieth. The problem was that it wasn't her voice on the other end, it was her boyfriend, Josh Davidson.

Josh had called Castle because he knew how close Rick and Kate were. Josh knew that Castle was closer to Kate Beckett than anyone else on the planet. That included her dad and professed best friend, Lanie. So he called Rick Castle to ask what type of proposal Kate would want. Would she want big, small, loud, or quiet? He was only going to do it once and she deserved for it to be the one she dreamed of all her life.

Rick should have seen it coming. She had frozen him out and retreated to her dad's cabin in the mountains. Dr. Motorcycle Boy went along with her and, to his knowledge, was still by her side. So when Josh called and asked, he swallowed his pride and told him of her reaction to Ryan's proposal to Jenny. How the tears had welled up in her eyes as she said it was intimate and perfect.

He recalled how Josh had been thankful and appreciative for the advice. He even acknowledged the not so veiled threat if he ever hurt her. As he was thinking of the ways he could hurt the good doctor, with the help of the boys of course, he didn't notice his phone had signaled a new text. After a couple of minutes his phone rang.

"Castle," he answered without looking to see who was calling him. There was no sound on the line and just as he started to look at the screen, he heard her. "Rick."

"Kate. Is that you, Kate?"

"Yes Rick, it's me. How have…how…how have you been?"

Castle could hear the anxiousness in her voice. It was fear mixed with timidness. She was petrified and if he thought his heart couldn't break anymore, he was wrong. Tremendously wrong. He tamped down his anger and replied, "As good as I could hope for I guess. And you?"

A weak voice answered, "I'm better, getting better each day."

By then Castle was up and pacing in his office, having relinquished his chair as soon as her voice became clear. "Good, I'm so glad to hear that. No residual effects of the…" He couldn't say it. He couldn't say "your shooting." If he did, it would be as if he was reliving it, and he couldn't do that. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

Sensing that he couldn't say it, Beckett said it for him. "'Shooting,' Rick. The word you're searching for is 'shooting.'"

"Kate, I can't say it. I can't say "your shooting." It's too painful a memory for me."

"I know Rick, I know." She didn't know what to say other than that. How could she console him when she wasn't sure she knew how to accept what had happened to her? "Listen Rick, I called to see if we could meet for coffee? I am going back to work Monday and want to talk to you about it."

"Sure, I can meet you. When and where do you want to meet?"

"How about in an hour at the little coffee shop around the corner from my place."

Castle looked at his watch and knew that Alexis would be home in thirty minutes. "Make it an hour and a half. I need to make sure Alexis is home before I can leave."

Xx

Twenty minutes later Castle was still staring at his computer screen that was telling him that he should be writing when Alexis came through the door. He never heard the door open let alone Alexis calling his name. When he finally looked up he saw her standing there. "Dad are you okay?"

"Yes, pumpkin I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He was rising from his chair as he answered. "You had a faraway look in your eyes when I came in, and you didn't hear me calling you." He opened his bedroom door a crack and they peeked in. After closing his door he pulled Alexis into a hug and asked. "Can you handle everything here for a couple of hours? I have an appointment that just came up."

Alexis looked quizzically at her dad. He was hiding something, she was sure of it but she didn't want to pry. "Sure thing Dad, I don't have to be anywhere til seven tonight. Ashley and I are going to Serendipity for dessert."

"Really?"

"Daaaad! Stop it!"

"Sorry pumpkin. I should be home around five, okay?" he said as he gathered up his wallet and keys. Alexis was heading back to his bedroom as she called out, "Sure thing Dad, I've got it covered."

Xx

Kate Beckett was not one to get nervous, never had been. Well, that wasn't quite true. She had been nervous when she brought her Harley home for the first time. She had bought it with her savings from her summer job, neglecting to tell her parents about it prior to riding up on it. Needless to say her mom wasn't the happiest person in the world and her dad threatened to send her to a convent. That might have been the last time...until today.

Today she was meeting Castle for the first time since she sent him away at the hospital. That day had haunted her for the past four months and today she had to face him. Well, she didn't have to face him, but she wanted to. She wanted to apologize to him and ask his forgiveness. He deserved that and so much more. He had tried to take a bullet for her and his reward was her running off without so much as a phone call.

She snapped out of her daydream when she heard the bell above the door chime. It was an old timey one. It had more than likely been above that door for generations, had seen all types of people come and go. All types of people with all types of problems. So in the grand scheme of things,this wasn't so bad, she mused as she eyed the person who caused the sound.

Xx

Castle was thinner than she remembered. He'd lost weight, close to twenty pounds if she had to guess. His eyes had a haunted look to them, as if his sleep had been too tormented to be restful. As she caught his eye, he smiled at her. Not the smile that he reserved for his friends and loved ones, but the one he used for fans. The one that never quite made it to his eyes. Oh, it was a genuine smile alright, just not heartfelt. Realizing that caused her to sink a little into her chair.

As he pulled out the chair across the table from her, she could tell how nervous he was. Here was Richard Castle, a man who was at home in any situation. A man who never met anyone who he couldn't charm, and he was nervous to sit across from her.

"Hi Castle." It was all she could muster at the moment. "Kate, it's good to see you." He was looking over her shoulder at a spot on the wall, trying with all of his might to school his emotions. Trying his best not to look at her left hand.

"You too, Castle. How have you been?"

"I've been good Kate. Never better actually." Before Beckett could answer, the waitress came to take their order. That's why she loved this place; there were never any lines if you chose a table. The staff came and took your order then delivered your favorite coffee to you. After the waitress left with their orders, Kate looked back at him. "You don't look well, Rick. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm good, just started working out. It's caused me to lose a little sleep the past few days." They both knew it was a lie but neither pushed it any further.

"Okay, well I thought I would tell you that I go back to work on Monday." She was playing with the placemat not willing to look at him. His eyes were drawn to her hands and much to his surprise, she wasn't wearing a ring. She must have it on her necklace. She doesn't want to embarrass me. "That's good. I'm glad that you're able to go back work."

The waitress came back with their coffees and asked if they needed anything else. Castle pulled out a twenty and gave it to her. "No, I think we have everything we need." She nodded and let them know if they needed anything to just ask and walked away to leave them to their conversation.

"So how does Josh feel about you going back to work so soon?"

Beckett knew that the conversation would eventually turn to Josh. She had expected to hear disdain for Josh in Castle's voice and was astonished when it wasn't there. "He isn't happy about it. He thinks it's too soon. Actually, he wants me to think about a career change."

Lifting his cup to his lips, Castle took a long slow drag off the steaming liquid before answering. "I guess I can see that. He almost lost you. He just wants to make sure you're safe. You have your whole lives in front of you and he wants to make sure you're there to live it with him."

Beckett was flabbergasted. She had never heard Castle speak so maturely about her relationship in the past. She had to take sip of her coffee to break the conversation and allow her to regain her thoughts. When she put her cup down she answered, "Yeah I guess I can see that. Anyway, I wanted to know when you would be back at the precinct."

Castle was caught off guard by her question. She really thought he would be returning to the precinct! After he declared his love for her, and with her marrying another man, how could she expect him to work side by side with her? Well, to her defense, she didn't remember him declaring his love for her. Trying to change the subject he asked, "So have you regained any of your memory from the shooting?"

She shook her head. "No. The first thing I remember is waking up with Josh at the side of my bed."

As he looked into her eyes, he was searching for anything that would let him know that she was being untruthful. He knew her tells - every one of them. He had watched her interrogate suspects for the past three years after all. He had his doubts all summer that she didn't remember his declaration. But he couldn't find anything that led him to believe that she was being anything less than truthful.

"Kate, I'm not coming back to the precinct." There it was, he'd said it. He didn't expect to just blurt it out but he did. And now he could see the fear in her eyes.

"Why…why not?" She stammered out the question, the fear she felt radiating from her eyes.

He looked down at his cup. Oh, how he wished there were a few dregs left of the warm liquid. When his eyes returned to hers, he decided to tell her. "Kate, there is a new girl in my life who takes up most of my time and I'm not willing to change that at this point." That was as much as he was willing to tell her at that time. After all she had Josh, so he had moved on with his life.

"Oh…I see." He could see what could only be described as regret in her eyes.

"Listen Kate, I'm having a get together on Friday night to introduce her to everyone. I would love it if you and Josh could drop by. It starts at seven."

"I don't know Castle, we have dinner plans for that evening. Josh has had the reservations for about a month. Kind of a 'welcome back to the city' dinner."

"Okay, I understand. I'll let everyone know you can't make it." Just then his phone rang. As he went to send the call to voice mail, Kate saw the name "Jim Beckett" displayed on the screen.

"That was my dad?"

Looking back up at her, he said sheepishly, "Yeah, yeah it was." At that point Detective Beckett made an appearance. "How is it that you have my dad's number in your phone?" she demanded.

He placed his phone back in his pocket and sighed. "After your…" He still couldn't bring himself to say the word so she spoke it for him. "Shooting." He sighed again. "Yeah, your shooting, we exchanged numbers. After you went to the cabin he called and asked me to meet him for coffee. He wasn't doing too well, so at that point so I started checking up on him. I figured you had a long recovery and knowing you, I expected that you were hiding from everyone." He looked again to her hand still expecting to see a ring. "Well, not everyone, you had Josh with you and that was a good thing. Anyway I knew that if he had a relapse it would break you, so I kind of stepped up to make sure he was okay."

To say she was astonished and totally flabbergasted would be an understatement. Castle had been there all summer to make sure her dad didn't fall again. Even if she hadn't, he had looked after her dad. How could one man be so selfless?

"Thank you." The words escaped from her lips. They were quiet, almost unheard, but he had heard them.

"Always."

Thoughs?

I would like to echo the sentiments of Shutterbg5296 and Pegship, the nastiness of reviews about season 8 is just a waste of time. And the Guest reviews that troll writers who take their time to do this needs to stop. I can assure you that I will be removing any and all of those from this any other project I work on.

Please take the time to review but not taunt or ridicule.