A/N: In the last fic I wrote Leonardo had his own room but in this one he's sharing a room with Raph - maybe Mikey's snoring kept Raph awake so he swapped with Leo. I don't know. Sue me.

It's late on the farm. The house is almost silent except for Michelangelo's snoring that can be heard throughout the house. The lights are all out, apart from one.
"We have to go back soon."
"I know," Raphael flops down onto the hard mattress across from his eldest brothers bed. "Just - give it a little longer, bro. You just got back on your feet today."
Leonardo is silent for a moment. They've wasted too much time already, waiting on him to recover. But Leonardo knows that his younger brother is, annoyingly, right. He's still not at his best, still out of shape. He doesn't have the stamina or endurance that he had before - not yet, anyway. He still has a while to go before they can return to New York, find their father and face the Shredder. He considers his younger brother. Doantello told him that Raphael was the only one to have his grapling hook today - he yelled at the others, too, about the need to being prepared for anything. It was so unlike Raphael and yet - it was exactly like Raphael. Leonardo's the leader but Raphael has always seemed more like an equal. Sometimes it seems like they're on opposite sides - when they yell in each others face and throw punches at each other. But he always knew Raphael cared more than he let on, that he felt equally responsible for their younger siblings. Both of them wanted the same things - sometimes they just disagreed on the details.
"Thank you, Raph," Leonardo turns his head to look at his brother, "For taking care of Mikey and Donnie and...everything else, too, when I- when I couldn't. You really stepped up."
"Someone had to," Raphael shrugs, throwing his mask onto the bedside table.
"As long as the responsibility is yours again, though. I'm happy to resume my role of resident hothead. You call the shots and I'll throw the punches."
"I thought you wanted to be leader," Leonardo grins at him as he removes his mask, too, "Not all it's cracked up to be, huh?"
"I dunno how you cope with it, bro," Raphael says, sounding uncharacteristically serious. "If you make one wrong move..."
"Yeah, "Leonardo grimaces, as he swings his legs over the bed to get up and turn off the light, "I know. It's not easy, but you handled it well. You kept everyone safe."
"I guess," Raphael shrugs. And then, once the light is off and Leonardo is back in his bed. "Don't almost die on us again, okay? For a while there I thought - And when you woke up, there was a while there that I kept thinking you were never gonna be you again. I - just don't do it again, idiot."
Leonardo's quiet for a moment, "I didn't think I was going to be me again, either. I'm still not, I don't think."
The problem with Raphael is that he can be a great listener when he wants to be - so of course, he stays silent, waiting for his brother to finish.
"There were footbots everywhere I turned," His voice wavering a lot more than he's comfortable with, "I couldn't outrun them - I tried but I couldn't shake them off. And the whole time - the Shredder was just watching me. Waiting until I'd run out of energy. It wasn't even like footbots are that difficult to fight, I was just - tired. Really tired."
Raphael is still silent. Leonardo swallows - his mouth is so dry but he keeps going. If he doesn't talk about it soon, he knows he never will.
"One of them grabbed my leg and that was it, I toppled down into some freezing cold water. I managed to pull myself out. Shredder let Tigerclaw, Fishface and Rahzar have a turn and I was doing okay - I got in some good hits. But then he was behind me and I turned round and - that was it. A flash of pain and then...nothing. I came to in the tub."
They both know he's left out a lot - he hasn't gone into the details. He hasn't talked about his nightmares or panic attacks. But it's more than Leonardo has given any of them since he woke up and it's a start.
"You're still you," Raphael says, after a moment. "But if it'll make you feel better, I'm sure Mikey will have something to tell on me for and then you can go back to yelling at me." Leonardo huffs out a laugh. "I'm sorry you had to take over, even after I woke up. I was just..." He trails off, unsure how to finish. His chest and throat are tight with the thoughts and feelings he hasn't even begun to process himself; he can't put them into words because he still can't make sense of them himself.
"You earned a vacation," Raphael says, waving his hand and then he snorts, "Next time you want a day off, just ask. Don't sleep for three months - we can all take turns leadin' or something."
Leonardo grins, "Okay. Are you sure you want to let Mikey lead?"
Rapahel hesitates, "I mean me and Donnie can take turns."
Leonardo laughs. "Okay," he agrees, "Sounds good."
Raphael isn't laughing though. "Just - stop this sacrificing yourself for us thing, okay?"
"You'd do the same for any of us," Leonardo responds, and Raphael's silence is confirmation. They both lie there in the dark, neither of them saying anything for a while.
"Sensei will be so proud of you when we tell him," Leonardo breaks the silence, eventually. Raphael doesn't say anything but Leonardo knows he's still awake and listening. "And - for what it's worth - I'm proud of you, too."