This is a story which attempts to bring Ichigo and Kish together in an honest and realistic way. Feedback is appreciated! Thank you for reading!

The Sweetest Thing
Chapter 1: Planting Seeds
From the deepest desires often comes the deadliest hate.
– Socrates

I close my eyes, trying to ignore how my head spins and my stomach roils, the entire world swooping and spinning around me. My whole being hums with energy as it always does when I'm in this form, a pleasant pulse of power that's almost electric, but now it feels tense and angry, almost like bees. I'm panting and wary, soaked in sweat and skin dripping with sticky blood; my arm stings where Kish's weapon finally nicked my skin and the spot on the back of my head dully throbs where the chimera hit me. His words still fill me with a familiar fire however, the one that makes me so determined, and there's no way I'm going to stop now. I've reached my limit but I refuse to admit it, that fire urging me on. I grit my teeth and clench my fists, ignoring the scrape of concrete that I can feel even through my gloves. Numbly, I force myself to stand, my shaking legs almost not strong enough to hold me up, but I block out the pain. I try to place my feet firmly on the ground but I still stumble, my head spinning worse and vision going white but it only lasts a moment.

My resilience only delights him further, the strange look that had crossed his face when I fell gone in seconds. He's grinning from ear-to-ear, eyes bright and fingers curling excitedly around the handles of his weapons, so eager to begin again. His response only makes me angrier, only fuels the fire. A growl, long, rough, and drawn out, escapes from between my teeth and I glare at him when he chuckles in response. My strength is wavering but my will still remains, as determined as I am, as much as I don't want to accept it, it's becoming painfully obvious that I can't do this.

I have no backup and I won't for a while, my partners struggling with another monster created by Pai, a monster himself. We fought with the first, some terrible dragon-like creature with a tail it used like a club, for at least an hour and now they have another to face. At this point I've probably been sparring with Kish for another hour. I am quickly growing weaker and I'm sure my teammates are as well, we wont be able to fight off our opponents for much longer. He knows that I am about to crash, we both do, but I stand my ground, glaring up at him with narrowed eyes as he grins back cheekily.

The air is growing cool as the sun begins to set; the sky is tinted as pink as my dress which is now ruined, the fabric stained green, brown, and red with grass, earth, and my blood; it will be fine the next time I transform, as it always is. He is fine of course: his pale skin is still unharmed and his clothes, though thin and worn, not ripped or stained in any way. The only thing more infuriating is the fact that he's barely even sweating. His teammates are taking the cowardly route and so is he, neither making the fight even. The aliens are fighting my girls with one of their monsters, not hand-to-hand; and Kish, though attacking me himself, is weaving in and out in the sky to strike me – leaving me to dodge and block with much more effort. He could carry on like this for hours if he wanted and I'm sure he would love to, not having the same struggles as me.

There's a loud noise in the distance momentarily taking our attention away from each other, both of us glancing towards the actual fight, but it's only one of their monsters and we are immediately focused once more. The inhuman noise does remind me that my team needs me, though, and I feel another surge of power.

I watch Kish closely as he lowers himself from the sky above, my grip tightening on my own weapon, feeling an odd combination of relief and nerves. In my mind I work out all of the ways I could try to strike him now, it being so much easier when he's standing before me. Perhaps, if I can manage to act innocent without puking, I could get close enough to cause some real damage but I quickly realize that he has his own plans. His smile changes, becomes softer somehow with less teeth and pure delight showing, though it keeps that teasing edge that I honestly doubt he ever loses. The change makes me even warier, suspicion flaring in the back of my mind and tail flicking behind me. "Kitten," he tsks and I stand a little straighter, scowling up at him. His eyes sparkle, lips curving in that cocky way as he lands gently on the path. We're in the park on some side trail that I worry no one would know how to find if worse came to worse. "You don't look so good…" he sighs with a twisted little smile that makes my skin crawl, tone both patronizing and infuriating. I grind my teeth in response biting back the insults that rise to my tongue. "Don't get me wrong, you're still gorgeous my pretty kitty," he adds with a wink and I want to puke. "But that's not the point…" he sighs dramatically, tilting his head to the side and eyes straying away from me. "We could stop all of this now you know, just as we both know who will win this battle…"

"Oh really?" I snap back. "Then shouldn't you be giving in while you have the chance?"

He only chuckles indulgently, shaking his head and gaze slipping back to me with that smirk that I hate. He sighs again, "Oh Kitten, always so feisty…"

I growl lowly in response, clenching my fists. "I swear if you don't stop calling me that-"

"Fine Ichigo," he growls out and the use of my real name, the abrupt hardening of his eyes and the tightness in his jaw combine to make me falter. He's suddenly much darker, almost sinister, his eyes narrowed and his gentle smile gone; his moods change so quickly and so dramatically that I struggle to keep up. "You know how I feel about you," he snarls at me before his tone becomes terribly desperate and his dangerous look flickers to something I don't recognize. "You know, you have to-"

I bristle in response, confused and angry, my rage finally bubbling up and spilling over. "I know you're mad! I know you're crazy! A psychopath!" I cry. "I know you're my enemy!"

My words seem to take him aback, blinking at me owlishly like I've just literally smacked him. "Ichigo…" he murmurs, face softening again as he takes a careful step towards me, as if he's going to try and calm me. It's not the reaction I was expecting or honestly wanting, I thought he would be mad at me and I'm almost disappointed that he's not. "Ichigo," he repeats, eyes searching my face, and it makes me so angry. I hate how he says my name so oddly, with all of that emotion, I hate it almost as much as his stupid little nicknames for me. "I love you," he almost whispers. "I don't want to be-"

My immediate response is to cry out, unable to properly express my disgust and frustration any other way, and shake my head as if I can get his words out, not wanting to hear any more of it. His words are worse than any of his monsters and his attacks, they're confusing and sharp and somehow seem to hang in the air longer than they should. In that moment I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I hate him: the twisting of my stomach that comes with hearing those words enforcing what I've known since the beginning. "No! No you don't!" I scream at him, backing away and scowling.

"I do!" he growls back, voice rougher, his own anger coming out again. "Kitten," he tries, voice now pleading as his expression changes once more. Everything about him is volatile. I hate it.

I hate him.

"Ichigo, I love you," he murmurs and those words seem to echo around me, stilling my heart and chilling my blood. I whip my head back in his direction, staring at him in disbelief as he smiles at me again, a smile that is not smug or mischievous but hopeful, and somehow that makes me even angrier with him.

"You don't know what you're talking about! You don't know what love even is!" I cry, voice shrill, and though the words are enough to wipe that smile from his face I don't stop there – I plow on. "You don't know what love is!" I repeat, words dripping with as much venom as I can manage, words shaking with the strain of my anger. "You aren't even human!"

The words have the same effect as a physical blow: he takes a faltering step back, brow twitching and lips twisting into a scowl. His hands clench but quickly jerk so they are no longer curled into fists and it occurs to me that his weapons are gone; I'm not sure when he sent them away. But I realize much faster, as I watch his hand rise to grip the fabric of his shirt, right over his heart, that I may have finally crossed the line. I may have finally, actually, gotten it through his head. And, another part of me whispers, one that runs much deeper but I choose to ignore, whispers of finally hurting him beyond repair. But then, before I can give it much thought if any at all, he's tearing forward with a bitter scowl and I fail to jump out of his reach, too tired and too unprepared for any kind of retaliation. I still try to get back but I can't manage to slip away, hissing as his hands close around my throat. My own hands instinctively come up so I can claw at his skin just to feel stupid when I realize what I've done, the clatter and ring coming from my weapon as it hits the concrete making my stomach clench. To my shock, he barely applies any pressure though his whole being is quivering with the strain of controlling himself. I have pushed him too far and knowing that I have angered someone so violent, so volatile – someone who is admittedly capricious – makes my heart race and that little piece of my mind scream of how much danger I've just put myself in while that other part, the one I tend to listen to, regrets nothing.

Our breath mixes between us, ragged, hot and uncomfortable, and I find myself squirming feebly, my fire dying out as I stare back at him, just when I need it the most. Never having been this close to him for this long without having any other distractions, I've not noticed just how alien his eyes are; they're almost animal-like, which is truly fitting. Those bright eyes narrow dangerously and his nails dig into the back of my neck but the pain it causes is only a dull ache, a warning. "You, Ichigo, are the biggest hypocrite I've ever met… I don't know love? And you do? You think that boy loves you? You think that you two are going to get married and spend the rest of your lives together? That you two are going to have beautiful babies who will never see suffering, who will have everything they've ever wanted, who will be spoiled rotten, who will help the world just as you have? Hell, you think that you love him? He doesn't. You won't. You don't," he hisses face contorting into something simply vicious but I'm sure mine does as well, arms shaking with all of my rage, my grip on his arm tightening and claws digging deep into his skin.

I'm furious, his words striking a nerve, and he seems to realize; he pulls away ever so slightly, a kind of manic glee in his eyes, the same that came when I had gotten to my feet not long ago. We struggle for a moment – a vicious, animal-like affair – clawing at one another and making noises that are simply not natural, at least not for a human. I stand on one foot, trying to maintain my balance as I try to keep his long fingers from clamping around my throat again and use my foot to get my Strawberry Bell. He realizes with a low growl, jerking me away roughly, and I'm reminded once more of the hit I took to the head when the world spins. To my surprise he stops, allowing me to come back to my senses. I released his wrists in favor of holding my pounding head but his hands remain wrapped around my throat though his grip is loose, his fingers gently splayed against my skin, right over the spots that will be bruised when I wake tomorrow. We watch each other, eyes roving over the others face, both waiting for the next move. He's the one who makes it.

"You don't love him, you don't," he mutters darkly, pressing closer, forehead meeting my own and our noses bumping. I find my anger wavering when faced with confusion and fear and I can only squirm some more, suddenly feeling too open, almost as if this act of violence is intimate, my eyes darting to the side. "Look at me…" he breathes, he begs, his voices not as harsh as before and his grip on my neck loosening. I realize that he's gone into another mood and with it comes a chance to get out of this messy situation. So, without any other choice, I meet his gaze. He's softened all over again and it somehow makes me uneasy when I should be rejoicing the chance to find an easier way out of this messy situation. "You know I love you… completely love you and everything about you…" he murmurs, one hand slipping from around my neck to brush his knuckles along my cheekbone, his thumb along my bottom lip, and I tear away immediately as if the touch had burned but the scrape of his claws against my skin was gentle. I decide that may make it worse.

I scramble away managing to scoop up my weapon before rounding on him. I expect him to grow angry and attack but I'm wrong again.

His eyes, for once, seem dull as he backs away from me. "He's not what you think… Ichigo…" and with that nothing more is said, one moment he is there and the next he is gone, leaving me alone in the middle of the park. I stand there a minute longer, lingering as I let the ache and the weariness fully sink in. I must wait for my mind to start functioning again, not able to think properly, too many thoughts still swirling in my mind, too much pain. I can hear the far off cry of the Chimera but it feels like more than distance separating us, it feels as if the cry is coming through water – it feels as if I am underwater. Finally, my breathing and heartbeat are both back to normal, my head is no longer throbbing and the world is not blurry around the edges, and the next time the beast screams I hear it clearly; I properly snap out of it, shaking my head before taking a deep breath, squeezing my Bell, and running to join my friends and aid them as I should.

I find my way back to an actual path with ease and from there I know exactly where I must go, heading for the clearing where this whole thing first began. I attempt to force all thoughts from my mind, I need to be focused in order to help my team properly, but those golden eyes continue to reappear in my mind's eye; it makes me angry, how I can't forget the exact way they had glinted when he narrowed them, the feeling of his deft fingers against my skin; the back of my neck seems to burn with the memory. I remember his words and I grip my weapon tighter, I feel my own nails bite at my skin through my gloves, and my rhythmic steps grow in speed.

I do love Masaya and he loves me, we'll always be together, we'll stick together through thick and thin no matter what. I understand love, Kish is the one who doesn't, and he's the one who's a hypocrite. Enemies don't love each other, passing infatuation isn't love, and love isn't hate.

When I finally reach the clearing the girls are too absorbed in their fighting to notice my arrival but both Pai and Taruto send me exasperated looks that make me want to tell them it's definitely not my fault, I don't like this any more than them. They are too far up for me to hear them and against the orange sky their faces are dark, but I do catch what looked like a snarl and curse from Taruto, and I see Pai close his eyes for a long moment before turning back to the fight.

I'm actually grateful for the fight even though I'm exhausted because as soon as I fall into the familiar steps once more my nagging thoughts dissipate. With all of us together the chimera is defeated easily and soon Pai is disappearing with Taruto, the former scowling and cursing at us as he goes. His cheeks still bloom with color when Purin cries out a farewell, waving wildly, though; I can't help but think of Kish with another flare of annoyance.

All of the girls are in pretty good shape, tired and panting but there is no one seriously injured; Purin is scratched up, palms and knees skinned pretty badly, and Minto thinks that she has pulled a muscle in her back but I suspect that she's just exaggerating. She didn't have to deal with anything near what I did, she didn't have a psychopath trying to strangle her, she has no right to be complaining, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from snapping at her. Actually, I'm just pretty irritated in general, being forced to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying something vicious to Purin to get her to leave me alone. Everyone seems to realize that something is wrong, Minto giving me a wide berth and Retasu ushering Purin away, and I immediately feel bad for taking out my frustration on those around me.

Keiichiro takes care of Minto first, having her lay down on a cot with a heating pad on her back, and then moves on to Purin, cleaning and bandaging all of her little scratches; she flinches slightly at the rubbing alcohol but remains smiling throughout it which only makes me feel worse. Next is me and when he realizes just how bad my injuries are he tells me that I should have said something, that I needed to be cared for first, but I don't respond, Minto's gaze a heavy weight. He tsks, prodding gently at the back of my head before getting me ice for the lump there, next he prods gently at my neck and the scratches there, his fingertips rough but gentle. "Ichigo, what happened?" he murmurs softly, just loud enough for my ears but I only grunt in response, giving him a sharp jerk of my head. He doesn't push for an actual explanation, which I'm thankful for but those golden eyes and those sharp words are once again fresh on my mind not to mention the fact that Ryou has just walked into the room to check on us, only making everything worse. Keiichiro then cleans the cut on my arm and I force myself to remain perfectly still, knowing very well that any other time I would be whining and pouting through the entire thing. He wraps bandages tightly around the cut looking up to give me a smile that is forced I'm shocked to say. Keiichiro sighs as he pulls away, murmuring about how young we are, but it's loud enough that Ryou hears, sending him a weak glare in response.

Keiichiro sends us off after making sure that we've had some tea and cookies and we know exactly what we need to do for our respective wounds, which is nothing too hard. Zakuro and Retasu have waited to see us off but as we eat I can feel their eyes on me, making my guilt and frustration only continue to grow. I've calmed by the time we finally leave, walking together down the darkening streets, allowing Minto to lead the way as she chatters away to an ever silent Zakuro. Purin talks animatedly to Retasu and me but her voice blends with Minto's and I don't really pay attention to anything she says. I feel more tired than usual but I have suffered more wounds than usual among other things so I remain uncharacteristically quiet. Retasu glances at me carefully but when I catch her eye she doesn't blush and apologize like I'm expecting but she gives me a reassuring smile instead and I force myself to smile back.

Slowly my little group drifts apart until it's just me as I make my way towards home. I glance up at the dark sky wondering distantly if Kish has returned to his other dimension or if he is still out there somewhere, I wonder if he's thinking of me, and then I snap out of it mentally smacking myself. I pull out my phone, Masha chirping softly as I do, and check the time just to groan softly when I realize how late it really is. This only adds to my misery and on top of it I feel as if I am forgetting something but I have no clue what it could be. Even as I get closer and closer to the gate of my home the feeling still only grows. That combined with the light on in the living room makes me frown to myself. I pause at the gate, taking a deep breath and a moment to think over the events of the day, fast-forwarding through the fight with Kish, the one event that makes my insides twist a little worse.

I finally gain enough courage to go inside and face my parents though I still try to drift past the living-room without being noticed and I would have succeeded if my mom hadn't of been coming down the hall in the opposite direction. My dad is upset; he's been waiting for me, sitting on the couch in his pajamas with a scowl on his face and an entire rant apparently already prepared for me. He stops short though – just after he began to touch on the subject of boys, which really is shocking – but, to my horror, I realize it's because he's noticed the bandage wrapped tightly around my arm. He spends a few drawn out minutes spluttering until he starts up fresh on this new development: my unsafe working conditions. Thankfully mom cuts him short, giving my wound a wary look herself and me a reproachful one when I try to get out a halfhearted explanation about tripping at work before dragging my father back to bed. She tells me that my dinner is in the fridge and that she expects me to go straight to bed after I eat and take a shower and I do just that.

Ever since I've become a Mew I've been breaking curfew more and more and because of it I've had to come up with more and more wild excuses. Thankfully, the fact that I have my "real" job helps which is about the only good thing about it.

I'm relieved to get some actual food in my stomach, to take a hot shower that relaxes my sore muscles, and to finally slip into bed but I find that even then I can't sleep, my mind still going. My stomach continues to twist uncomfortably, the feeling of unease refusing to leave me alone and I don't know why. It's more than just my parents, of course, but I do feel worried about them and guilty about keeping things from them. So far I've been able to hide what I actually am from them, if they found out I can't even imagine how they would take it not to mention Ryou's reaction. It's more than that and it's more than the stress of maintaining two lives, the stress of saving my people, it's that nagging feeling that I can't shake but I can't place where it's stemming from. The next morning I'm feeling even worse than before.

I still have to go to school though but today I get dressed a bit more carefully than usual, making sure that my sleeve covers up my bandage as much as possible, and then there's the problem of the purple fingerprints decorating my skin. I stare at myself in the mirror, stiffly sliding my own fingers across my neck until they are resting just where his were, and my heart picks up speed, my stomach roils. I tear my hand away with a scowl rushing to sneak into my mother's bathroom to steal her concealer.

At least it is Friday, though, so I'll have a little break from school but I'll still have work. I think that when I see Masaya he might finally take my mind off things but I'm wrong. When I walk up to school to have him catch my eye and give me that brilliant smile I only feel worse, that touch of uncertainty still harassing me growing and growing. The girls around him all glower at me, turning to whisper in the ears of their friends or simply settling with turning their noses up at me as if they were Minto. This reaction usually makes me smile even brighter at him but today it doesn't have the usual effect.

"Hello, Momomiya-san," he murmurs in that soft, sweet voice of his that's so gentle and loving. His dark eyes sparkle warmly but I find a pair of golden ones coming to mind along with those whispered words: "He's not what you think…"

"Good morning, Aoyama-kun!" I attempt to say cheerfully but my voice falters ever so slightly, making his brow furrow. "Uh, I really should get to class!" I giggle nervously. "Ja ne, Aoyama-kun!" I say quickly before hurrying away.

Miwa and Moe are used to my strange behavior thankfully, simply looking at one another and shaking their heads when I appear distracted and have to have them repeat what they just said. I'm starting to feel like a horrible friend. I can't focus during class either but that's nothing new, I never can. And, even after the school day has ended, I'm still thinking, my stomach is still contorting, and I still feel lost.

I've been refusing to admit it but now that I know for sure I must face facts: Kish's words have gotten to me. He's finally gotten into my head, he's finally crossed the line, and I don't know what to do.