Harry Potter and the Theory of Normalcy

Chapter Three: Before the Storm

Petunia Dursley was not sure that she had ever been in a more macabre lounge.

Animal pelts, statues of armor, weapons, and a fairly large stuffed lion stood out amongst medium gray walls and black leather furniture. In one corner, a rather large snake sat under a heating lamp. Petunia was certain the moment it no longer felt like basking lazily it would lunge for any of the room's occupants, probably her first.

"Oh, that's just Daisy," Mrs. Granger smiled at her, having noticed where her gaze had been drawn. "She's harmless for now. She's been milked recently."

Petunia paled, "Milked?" How does one milk a snake?

"That means her venom has been extracted. Her body needs time to produce more." Mrs. Granger crossed her pants-clad legs, leaning further back into her plush arm chair. "Besides, she's always fairly lethargic after milking. Partially because we make sure to feed her afterwards. You know, as a reward for being such a darling." Her dark eyes twinkled, as if sharing in a private joke.

It stuck Petunia that, had it not been for their awful taste in decor, choice of pet, and clothing, Mrs. Monday Granger and her younger sister, Morticia would be very striking women. Both had pale skin and glittering dark eyes. Morticia's cheekbones were like finely cut diamonds, features any girl in a fashion magazine would be envious of. Monday, on the other hand, had a soft, round face, giving her the appearance of never ending youth. Petunia had been very shocked to discover that Morticia was the younger.

Both had married well. Morticia was the wife of the sole heir to the Addams family while, apparently, Mr. Immanuel Granger was a relative of the Countess of Mar and even owned some acreage of land near Baelmar (1.). Upon this discovery, Petunia had perked up, reassured in her decision to greet the new rich, though unusual, neighbors. Already she pictured herself and Vernon being invited to dinner parties and teas with royalty and wealthy business with whom she could converse and make connections. This would blow Mrs. Number Two's trip to Versailles out of the perverbiable water. All she had to do was chalk the oddities that came with these Adamses and Grangers to the eccentricities of the wealthy.

Now all she had to do was convince Vernon not to alienate them. (2.)

Harry Potter was not sure how he found himself in these situations.

He was supposed to be walking home with Dudley (or rather, two feet behind Dudley if he wanted to avoid recompense for Hermione's actions on the playground earlier), but instead, he was sitting in the backseat of the most expensive car he'd ever seen off the telly with Hermione Granger next to him.

The man driving, her father judging by the head of thick brown curls the man had pulled into a tail at the back of his head, was tapping his fingers along to some sad-sounding song playing on the radio. "So where am I going, young man?" Mr. Granger asked.

Harry shrugged. He'd never really known the address of his aunt and uncle. He'd just memorized the way to walk to and from school because Uncle Vernon was often reluctant to allow Harry in his car. "I know it's number 4, sir. Not entirely sure the street, sir."

Mr. Granger's head tilted a bit. He had a very odd feeling about this boy. Not odd like the way that his parent's viewed Monday, but more a worried odd.

When he'd first driven up to the elementary school to pick up Hermione, while Monday and Morticia entertained their neighbor, he had been surprised to see Hermione sitting on a bench next to a skinny boy who seemed to almost curl into himself as Immanuel approached them. He'd not been surprised, however, when Hermione had marched the boy over to the car, gently pushing him into the backseat as she informed her father that they would be giving her new friend a ride home.

The fact that the boy didn't know his own addressed was a bit inconvenient.

Immanuel gave a slight shrug. "Then I'll take you to our house. You and Hermione can play while I look your relatives up in the directory."

Harry wasn't sure the smile the appeared on Hermione's face would bode well for hm in the future.

I'm not dead! And, obviously, I haven't forgotten this story. I seriously tried to stick to my policy of updating once a month, but life just caught up with me, and as a result, my ability to work on this story was seriously compromised. But, I wanted to get this out before the holidays really kicked off! I can't promise that things will get back on schedule, but I do promise that I have all intentions of finishing this story.

(1a.) This is a real person though almost completely unrelated to this story beyond her name and country of origin. Baelmar is also real, and is actually a pretty cool castle that I definitely recommend checking out.

(1b.) Also, in response to Gomez being the heir to the Addams family, I'm going by the family tree of the 60s/70s tv show and cartoon in which Fester was actually Morticia's uncle, thus Gomez is actually the head of the Addams family.

(2.) Going by the books, Vernon always seemed more adverse to magic than Petunia. Whereas as Pet was obviously jealous and resentful of the effect magic had on her relationship with Lily, Vernon was more xenophobic, fearing magic and magic users to the point that it became hatred. Based on this observation, I'll write Vernon as a very conservative man prone to lashing out on whatever he considers to be counter-cultural. Boiled down, this means while I may view Petunia a potentially redeemable (think Cousin Itt's wife in the movies), forgiveness and atonement for Vernon would be a much longer road if he chooses to go down it.