"Hello there," Rachel said, barely glancing up from the mail she was going though as Monica walked in the door.

"Hey," she said, hanging up her jacket and gesturing at the stack in her roommate's hands. "Anything interesting?"

"Nah," Rachel sighed, throwing the pile of bills and fliers on the kitchen table, "but there was a phone message."

Monica's eyes lit up for just a moment, before the light disappeared again as she realized who probably called.

"It was Eric again, wasn't it?" she asked, a hint of weariness creeping into her voice.

"Yep," Rachel crossed her arms and cocked her head at her friend. "That's the third time in as many days."

"I know," Monica sighed with a wave of her hand. She turned and landed heavily on the sofa. Rachel came to sit next to her.

"Come on, he's a nice guy, Mon, and cute," she said. "Maybe a little needy…"

Monica smirked at her and Rachel smirked back.

"Yeah," Monica conceded, shrugging. "I dunno. I just…I'm just not feeling it, ya know?"

Rachel watched as Monica's head fell and she became very interested in the lint on her pants, picking off one hair-thin strand after another. She sighed and took her hand.

"I know," she said softly with a downward grin, giving Monica's hand a gentle squeeze. Monica smiled sadly at her and then cleared her throat.

She took a deep breath.

"So, I think I forgot to tell you that I'm going out of town for a few days next week," she said carefully. "Cory wants me to attend this entrepreneur conference before we open the restaurant next month."

"Oh," Rachel said, sitting back on the sofa. "How long will you be gone?"

Monica smirked playfully at her.

"Tuesday night to Saturday afternoon," she said. "You and your boy toy can have the place all to yourselves for a few days."

"Tag is not my boy toy," Rachel blushed, thinking of her young off-and-on boyfriend. "Well, maybe a little."

"Ha!" Monica said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Honestly though, Mon," she said, "with all the hours you've put in preparing to get Javu off the ground, it's like we've had the place to ourselves a lot already."

"Are you complaining?" Monica scolded, raising her eyebrows.

"No!" Rachel said with a smile. "It just seems you've been…gone a lot lately."

Monica shrugged. She stood up and waked into the kitchen, grabbing an apple out of the bowl in the center of the table before she spoke again.

"I takes a lot of work to get a place like Javu ready for prime time," she said, walking through the living room toward her bedroom to change clothes.

Rachel widened her eyes then shook her head. She let out a sigh as she stood up and began to gather up the discarded mail for the trash.

"Guess so," she mumbled to herself, then added in a louder voice so Monica could hear in the bedroom. "So where is this conference? Someplace cool I hope."

Monica closed her eyes and froze, wondering if it was a good idea to tell Rachel where she was going on her business trip. She hadn't decided herself if the other activity she planned while she was there was a good idea or not. She was leaning towards "yes" and wasn't sure if she wanted anyone else's input on her thought process.

She was sure one negative comment could potentially destroy what little courage she had to go through with it.

"Mon?" Rachel asked as she came into the doorway. "Where's the conference?"

Monica, who had her back to her, began to re-button the buttons she'd just undone on her blouse with suddenly unsteady fingers.

"Um," she said quietly, nervously clearing her throat again, "northern California."

Rachel's jaw dropped and she narrowed her eyes.

"Where in northern California?" she demanded softly. Monica straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath before turning to her friend, trying her best to radiate confidence and seem unaffected by the disclosure.

"San Francisco," she said, looking directly at Rachel, who was momentarily rendered speechless.

"Monica…" Rachel finally breathed, concern clouding her face.

Monica crossed her arms and stuck out her chin, her decision made in that split second of doubt Rachel was throwing her way.

"Yes," she said, answering Rachel's unasked question. "I plan to see him."

"You do?!" Rachel gasped, stepping further into the room.

"Yes."

"Does he…does he know you're coming?"

Monica's resolve faltered just a touch.

"No," she admitted, lowering her eyes and pulling her crossed arms tight against her chest.

"Monica…." Rachel started, walking toward her and placing a hand on her arm. "Honey, do you think this is a good idea?"

"I…"

"It's been such a…long time, I mean," Rachel said, tentatively. "I mean, have you even…you haven't even had a conversation with him since…since…have you?"

"No, I haven't and I think that's my problem," she snapped, suddenly on the defensive.

Quickly she launched into all the reasons why she thought her reasoning was sound. "I can't…I can't move on with…Eric or…or anyone else until we've…talked. We need to air it all out, ya know, everything that happened…then. I can…it's…it's about me getting some closure, finally…"

Rachel watched Monica become more and more animated as she kept speaking and tears filled her eyes.

"Mon…Mon," she said, trying to calm her down, trying to find some way of talking her out of what she seemed determined to do. "You could…maybe you should…call him first. You know, I mean, he's been in touch with Joey and…"

"Call him?" Monica interrupted, a touch of anger in her voice. "Rachel, I swear I have called him a thousand times…"

"Well, maybe that's your answer."

"No!" Monica said hotly, then added in a calmer voice. "No. It's time. Look, I'm…I'm over him, OK?"

"Oh, Mon," Rachel said, unconvinced.

"I am," Monica said emphatically. "It's been three years. I just…if we can maybe…I don't know…talk and at least be...congenial to each other I think…I think that's all I need to…ya know…really move on."

Rachel shook her head. This was a terrible idea. She was convinced Monica's only saving grace all this time was the fact that her ex-boyfriend now lived all the way across the country.

"Sweetie," she said, putting both hands on the sides of Monica's arms, looking directly into her eyes. Nope, she didn't believe for one second she was over him. None of them did.

"OK, say this works out. Say you can get in touch with him and see him, have you thought about how that would make you feel?" Rachel asked. "Have you thought about what it would be like to actually see him again?"

She looked unbelieving at Rachel then diverted her eyes. Had she thought about it? Had she thought about it?! Only every day for the last three years. It had taken her this long, it had taken this particular opportunity that presented itself, to think she was even strong enough to handle it.

"And what if he has moved on with someone?" Rachel continued gently, the thought of Monica going through that pain breaking her heart.

That possibility, which was more than likely a reality and why she hadn't heard a word from him, was one Monica wasn't sure she was prepared for. She swallowed hard, her eyes watering as her shoulders slumped a little.

"I don't know," she whispered, squeezing her eyes closed, "but I've gotta try…something. I've gotta do…something."

"Oh, Mon," Rachel said softly, pulling her in for a hug. Monica let Rachel hold her for a moment, then stepped back and wiped a lone tear from her cheek.

"And if he…if he is with someone new, maybe that's it," she said, her throat thick. "Maybe that's what I…need to see. Maybe that…gives me my closure."

Rachel sadly shook her head.

"Maybe," Rachel said, running her hand down the side of Monica's hair, looking into her sad face. "But, oh, that could be so painful..."

To her surprise, Monica laughed.

"Nothing," she said, fighting back her tears, shaking her head. "Nothing could be as painful as what I've already been through."

She stepped over to her dresser and pulled a tissue out of the box. She wiped her eyes then blew her nose as she glanced back at Rachel through the reflection of her mirror.

"Nothing," she sighed.

###

Chandler's eyes left his old cell phone just long enough to scan the front of the building. The breeze from the open windows of his sedan ran through his short hair as he sat parked along the curb line.

Seeing no activity yet, his gaze drifted back to the device in his hand. His thumb hit the tiny little arrows as he scrolled through screen after screen of old voicemails, searching for one specific date or another, knowing them all by heart.

He found one and hit "listen."

Hey, it's me. I wanted to remind you to pick up some boxes from the warehouse, the one that called back yesterday? Don't get too many big ones, we need some small ones, too. We have a lot to organize! OK. OK, you got that, right? I know, I'm sorry! I'm just so excited! I love you!

He closed his eyes, listening to the message again - listening to the "happy" in her voice as they prepared to move in together after Vegas. He pressed "save" then began to scroll again. Choosing one from six months later…

Hey. Listen, OK, I forgive you. I mean, I didn't even make you that crappy sock bunny. I'm sorry, I just…her voice just cuts right through me, ya know? I know you know what I mean, right? Listen, let's make up tonight. Whatta say we give that bunny another go around (giggles). I love you, Chandler.

Then, another, six months later…her voice strained, crying. His eyes always watered when he listened this particular voicemail.

Goddammit! Where are you?! Everyone's worried about you! Please at least call Joey, call someone! I know you don't want to talk to me. OK? I know that, but please call someone, please, Chandler! (silence, then a strangled whisper) Chandler? Where are you?!

Chandler swallowed, blinking back the tears that came to his eyes whenever he did this to himself, whenever he pulled out the old phone no one ever called him on anymore. Some days, he just needed to hear her voice. Most of those days, he didn't even understand why.

His head shot up as he heard the shrill ringing of a bell coming from inside the building. He quickly turned off the phone, opened the glove compartment and tucked it safely inside, hidden under random receipts and the car's owner's manual.

He opened the driver's side door, smoothing down his tie as he came around and leaned against the passenger door on the other side, his eyes scanning the throngs of people now exciting the building. He crossed his arms over his chest as he waited, then he grinned.

When she caught his eye, her face broke into a bright smile and she started running toward him.

"Yay!" she shrieked, dark auburn pigtails bouncing against the straps of her bright pink Hello Kitty backpack as she hurdled herself at him.

"Whoa, there, Pumpkin Girl!" he said, hoisting the giggling preschooler up into his arms.

"You picked me up for two days!" she said excitedly, a look of pure happiness on her face.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, giving her a smile and a little squeeze. "Which two days, do you know?"

He waved to her teacher then turned to open the door to the backseat as she scrunched up her nose, trying to remember what she'd learned about days of the week.

"Saturday!" she said, triumphantly.

"Nope, that's tomorrow," he responded, as he strapped her into her car seat.

"Um, Monday?" she said, a little less sure of herself this time.

"Nope," he said, bouncing his index finger off her freckled nose, chuckling as he watched her light brown eyes cross as he did so. "Thurrr…."

"Thursday and… today!" she said, giving him a smug little smile.

"Close enough," he grinned at her. He moved back and started to straighten up when she grabbed his tie.

"I wanna show you!" she picked up the little backpack Chandler had set next to her and almost reverently unzipped its only pocket. She pulled out her latest preschool craft.

"What is it, Sadie?" he asked, as he crouched down and looked at the brown lump in her hands.

She excitedly slipped it onto her little hand.

"A sock puppet!" she said, practically bouncing against her seatbelt. "I made a doggie! His name is Ralph."

Chandler stared at the disjointed button-face creation with floppy ears, fighting every emotion from the past that came thundering back into his heart.

"I used glue for his eyes," she continued, oblivious, "all by myself!"

Finally he turned his gaze from Ralph to her innocent, three-year-old face and gave her a little grin.

"He's very cute, Sades," he said, then cleared his throat. "You did a great job."

She gave him a huge smile.

"OK, let's get you and Ralph home," he said, preparing to shut her door. "Your Mom will be off work soon…"

But Sadie was so engrossed in her new playmate she didn't hear him.

He closed her door, glancing through the window at the glove compartment as he did so. He pushed both palms against the top of his car and tilted his head back, looking blankly at the sky. Then he took a deep breath, pushed off the roof of the sedan and walked over to the driver's side - preparing to guide his precious cargo home through the winding streets of San Francisco.

NOTE: Hello. It's me. ;)

I swore I'd never break them up. Well…you can blame Adele.

PS - I've been a crappy fanfiction reader/reviewer lately, I apologize. New job is awesome, but BUSY. This wouldn't leave me be, though, so here I am…again. Updates will be very slow, so I apologize for that, too…

Hope you stick with it, though. :)