Lost in Transmission.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCHHHHHH!*THUD!*

It was well past midnight as a black SUV tore into the shipping yard parking lot like a bat out of hell, coming to a sliding stop that saw the vehicle tip precariously onto it's right tires before falling flat. The multitude of law enforcement officers and paramedics could only stare dumbstruck as four monsters and a woman with dark hair piled out. Some who were familiar with the group just sighed and went back to work amidst the sea of flashing red lights and emergency vehicles.

"Told you lot I could make it in fifteen or less!"

"We had Tio in the car. How much horsepower does that engine have!?" questioned the slightly dizzy Manako to their zombified driver, referencing the large Ogre who had not yet dawned her heavy armor, opting instead for the basic orange flak jacket the rest all wore.

The heavy suit was specifically made for siege situations, but what they had been called down to looked closer to the aftermath of train crash.

Her body leaning against a handrailing that had a great view of the eastern cargo yard, Doppel whistled."Wow, whatever we're up against-...it's not subtle."

This was an understatement of some scale. What had once been a simple lot for the unloading and sorting of cargo now looked like it had just seen a small war blow through. Equipment had been smashed, forklifts tossed aside like toys thrown by a rampaging toddler. Even the gargantuan weight of the fully loaded shipping containers couldn't stop whatever had laid siege to the area, they too had been pushed aside or knocked over by this unknown force.

Smith could see why the call for her and her subordinates had been so frantic at this late hour. Something was loose on Japanese shores.

Something big, something powerful.

Considering the destruction it had wrought, Smith didn't even want to imagine how hard this unknown was going to be to bring into custody. She could only hope it would not come to that, that, perhaps with some luck, they were just dealing with a confused and scared monster who hadn't meant to cause this much harm.

For the coordinator, her first order of business was to gather any video evidence or eyewitness accounts. If they were to handle something of such strength, knowing what it was would be key to avoiding any mistakes.

Sadly, there was to be no such luck. One of her human subordinates explained to her "Someone cut the power right before the event. That cut the lights and shut off any video surveillance"

This got Smith's attention, surely something like that couldn't be a coincidence? "The power went out right before our rude and uninvited guest made their appearance?" she asked with suspicion.

The officer replied "Yes Ma'am! Not even 30 seconds before the commotion started. Most of the workers were still dealing with the lights suddenly being off when they heard all hell break loose."

Less than a minute before? Yeah, there was not a chance in hell the two events weren't connected. Someone clearly meant to provide cover in the darkness.

Still, this information was helpful to some degree. With the area totally submerged in blackness it wouldn't be a stretch to assume they were dealing with a race with some means of finding their way in the dark.

"Ma'am? I might of seen a little more than the others." The offer came from one of humble workers who had been working that night.

He was an older man who sat on a nearby curb with his co-workers while the EMTs patched them up. Quite a number of people had been injured when the debris started flying and this one had a bandage wrapped around a lightly bleeding head wound.

"If it's not too much, can you recall the event, in as much detail as possible?" Smith asked, dropping her cool and indifferent posture for a more sympathetic one

It took them some time and effort to recall all the details, but in the end, they managed paint a partial picture of the rampaging creature.

Whatever it was was big, standing over five meters tall, its body appearing bulky, almost to the point of being obese. The man thought he saw two great horns or tusks erupting from it's head but couldn't say for sure; it was dark and the unidentified monster was speeding past him when he saw it.

"So it was going fast?" Smith interrupted the man, curious about the speed of something that size.

The worker said it was moving quickly but seemed to get caught in it's own momentum. Like it was unable to stop when it started to charge. It was gasping and wheezing horribly by the time it smashed through the outer fence.

"Not a runner but a sprinter, got it." Smith turned to one of the human cultural exchange security officers and asked "Do we know where this thing came from yet?"

The man jumped at attention, shouldering his weapon and giving a flawless salute. "Ma'am! We believe it was stowed away on a container taken off the ship at some point but have been unable to locate it! Ma'am!"

"How about where it ran off to? I can't imagine something that size could just disappear into the night, especially if it was winded already."

"Ma'am! We traced its path through the perimeter fence and out onto a nearby highway. After that the trail went cold. Ma'am!"

"Someone must of picked it up. And not just some random civy picking up a hitchhiker in the middle of the night. They're need something heavy to move anything that large."

The undead with the red hair and fanged grin pulled her boss close and joked. "Ha! Sounds like we're dealing with some serious smugglers! Maybe that story about those "Heavenly Knights" fellas is true? Maybe we're dealing with some sort of Extra-Species cartel; like that crazy angel said?"

Smith was significantly more worried that Zombina. Putting aside all talk of super smuggling cartels. This wasn't good. They were dealing with an illegal entry of something clearly dangerous, that had already hurt several people, and could cause untold more damage. They had to lock this down quick, before things got worse.

"Ma'am! Ma'am! You need to see this!"

But, of course, things got worse anyway as one of the officers sent to search the area came in with a dire report.

Not too far away they found a container the illegal alien had likely hidden in. A giant grey box, inside was coated in the refuse of what seemed like an endless ocean of empty junk food containers. Already a few lab techs were wading through the waist deep pile that poured out of the open door and onto the concrete below.

This wasn't the bad news. That came when they were lead to a second container that had been attempted to be forced open by some unknown party less than 30 meters away.

On the ground laid a broken set of bolt cutters and, far more worryingly, what appeared to be several dozen bullets. "7.62x39, .50 Action Express, and a whole bunch of 9mms" commented Zombina, picking up a few of the rounds and examining them in her hand.

It looked like the bullets came from a slight gap that had been formed when, after the bolt cutters had failed, someone attempted to just force the hatch open. By the way the metal was slightly warped outward after being bent, they were unsuccessful, but had shown great strength regardless.

"We already checked, no ammunition or weaponry was officially being transported through here tonight, Ma'am!"

Smith scowled as her underling gave their report. "Open it, if it's here illegally we don't need a warrant to search" she ordered, almost certain this was related to their unknown entry.

Doppel proved kind enough to use her shapeshifting powers to fashion a key out of her hair. With the door unlocked a small avalanche of additional ammunition crashed out onto the pavement below.

If it wasn't clear enough already that this was an illegal shipment, the state of the container's inside proved it.

Like the other container, this one was utterly overcome with junk food. The difference being this time that it was unopened, uneaten, and mixed in with a mountain of guns and ammo; all carelessly strewn about.

Nothing had been packed, nothing had been prepared. The presence of two snow shovels resting against the metal walls suggested both guns and ammunition had been literally shoveled into the container, and the door locked behind them. It was amazing nothing had gone off and caused the whole thing to explode.

Zombina went first, cautiously striding into the container with her guns drawn and flashlight on. Being dead already meant that she the natural pointman. This box was a bomb waiting to go off and someone had to check it for any stowaways.

A clattering of plastic and metal erupted with each footstep inside, the sea of weaponry and bullets being parted by her lower legs. Stopping just far enough in to see the back of the container with her flashlight, nothing else caught her ears, no breathing, no moving, nothing.

"All clear!"

"That's a relief. I don't even want to imagine trying to arrest someone standing shin-deep in bullets." Smith lowered her guard and inspected a few of the round that had fallen out of the container around her heels. Inside the container Zombina did the same. Grabbing a weapon, commenting on it, then tossing it behind her back in favor of another.

"First up...TEC-9s? What idiot would buy these things?! Sure, you can convert them to full auto, but quality of the original weapon is garbage! Stamped metal, jams every other mag, can't anything outside of 15 feet. Total junk!"

Toss. *Clack*

"Of course; Deagles. That would explain the 50s outside. Overpriced, tactically useless, unreliable, but…-completely badass looking. Desert Eagles are meant for showing off, won't see much use for them off a range. Egh! Must of gotten these from a bad supplier; shitty gold paint over a frame that's already rusting."

Toss. *Clack*

"AK-47s, a classic. These are in really bad shape though. I don't think they've ever been cleaned or oiled. Wait a second...is this one jammed?! How the hell do you even do that!?"

"The reliability of the AK series is seriously overblown! Russian nationalists keep perpetuating the myth that they never jam when most modern rifles have the same rough failure rate!"

Everyone took a moment to stare at the random officer who had so suddenly spoken up. "Oh! Ummm...Don't mind me…" he said with embarrassment while trying to fade into the background again.

Zombina dropped the jammed rifle, picked up her regular weapons, made a mental note to see about asking that officer out on a date, and left the container to rejoin her squad.

"So, what are we looking at?" Smith asked.

Zombina casually hefted one of her PP-2000's into a resting position over her shoulder while the other dangled toward the ground. She told her boss "These things have seen a lot of use on a practice range but whoever owns them has no idea what proper maintenance is."

That stung to Zombina. After all, her body was now something that needed similar maintenance through transfusions and patching. Seeing something like those weapons fall into such a state of disrepair made her feel an odd kinship with them.

"Anything else? Could these be unrelated? Maybe just an errant weapon's shipment we caught by coincidence?" wondered Smith.

"Pfft! No chance! There's far too much here for a small smuggling outfit and professional rings wouldn't be moving guns in this shape or so sloppily."

Smith groaned. "Dammit."

"Well, I can at least tell ya' that these more than likely belong to a specific group of people. Probably came to this country a short time ago and wanted their personal arsenal brought in."

If Zombina was right, this was at least something to work with. If they were personalized, they might be able to chase down leads based on examinations of the weapons. "Also, I can tell ya' that whoever owns these has a serious love of loud, flashy guns that don't cost a fortune. These are almost all flash and no substance. The only pieces worth a damn in combat are the AK's and those are trashed worse than I've ever seen. You'd have to be an idiot to try and actually fight with these."

"So, we have a large monster on the loose and we've just seized a large quantity of guns and ammunition from some unknown party who loves to shoot but lacks any real discipline or serious cash reserves. Fan-fucking-tastic..." Smith tried her best to wrap her head around what was going on.

All she could come up with was that fact that any plan that needed a giant monster and a pile of guns smuggled into the country probably wasn't benign in nature. Something bad was brewing and the blame was likely to drop at her feet if she couldn't stop it.

Manako noticed that her boss looked to be on edge on an aneurysm. "A-Are you ok? Do you need anything?" she asked the pained coordinator.

"I could use a coffee...:"

"Ok. I'll go see if there's any in the-"

"Wait." Smith interrupted "I'm going to need some of the kind that Darling-kun brews. Be a dear, and pop in and see if he can't make some."

"B-But...It's 2:12 A.M.!" the cyclops said, holding out her digital watch.

Smith just waved aside her concerns. "Oh don't worry. I'm sure he won't mind! See you when you get back!"

As she was told, Manako left, looking a little worried about her current task. Smith didn't care. With such a mess for her to deal with, Darling's coffee was going to better than any booze at calming her nerves.

One thermos full and she might just make it through this night without going insane and deeply regretting her career path.

Off to her right, another member of the security squad came running up, yelling "Ma'am! We've just received word that your superiors are on their way down here right now! They believe this incident might be linked to their ongoing investigation into the Heavenly Knights Sex Slave Cartel!"

Correction. She was going to be needing two for this night…

"P-Please...Let me...-Heuuh!-...Let me rest!"

This was all Midori could manage as she stained the ground with another squirt, with another sign of her defeat.

When she and Tomo had agreed to the Guiding Star's contract to become Angels of Love and stop the Pleasure Angels grand plan to collect the four Songs of the Sky, they never imagined it'd end like this.

The two of them, trapped in a school supply closet not even five square meters big, and with no hope of ever escaping, doomed to lose their minds to lust.

"Boobs...I love...I love my boobs."

Tomo was already gone, her sanity washed away by the perverse breast worship her mind and body had been infected with.

Like herself, Tomo's chest had been magically expanded by the powers of the Pleasure Angel possessing the school nurse. She had apparently been a severe breast lover, and on physical examine day, when all the girls in school stripped down to their bras and underwear, she lost herself to her desires.

The angel had her lead Midori and Tomo to a secluded spot where her magic could spell their doom. Both girls chests had blown up like balloons under the power of her magical groping. In the end, both were stuck, their breasts pressed up against each other, all four the size of a weather balloon.

In the middle, the nurse continued to kiss, suckle, and grope their expanded tits. Her entire body smothered by the four soft spheres pressing on each other and herself. If they had more room, Midori had no doubt she could easily fit in either girl's cleavage.

As pointless as it was, Midori continued to struggle, flailing her arms against her own supple flesh. It was her only chance, her oppressive spheres were pressing her butt into the wall, her entire body being squished between a wall of plaster and wall of breast flesh. Back wouldn't work; forward was her only option.

Her mind was being consumed. She had already climaxed four times and even the struggle was starting to turn her on now, her body being bombarded with flashes of warmth as she felt her fingers grope the feminine boulders she was trying to climb.

Inadvertently, her hips began to bump and grind against the obscene amount of underboob she now had. In the ultimate act of humiliation she was trying to mount her own breasts.

"N-No! I'm better than this! I can-I can hold on! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ilias adjusted herself slightly before laying back down on the couch, her feet dangling in the air over her protruding bottom. The afternoon was progressing and she didn't want to move out of the nice sunbeam coming in through the window. In her hands was a light novel Doppel had leant her when the two had last met and gotten on the topic of fetishes of this world.

The goddess had learned much about this world but still had much to go. Her biggest surprise so far was the sheer variety of what made people sexually excited compared to her homeworld. You would think that, coming from a world where rape monsters roved the lands, this world would have nothing sex-wise to surprise the goddess.

But, no. Apparently. the internet had given birth to more sexual deviancy than even Alice the First's creations ever could! ABDL, BBW, ASFR, Hypo-Fetish, Drowning, more bondage variations than she ever thought possible, Clowns, Stomach punching, a fetish based around people being set on fire!

She even found one group that was sexually attracted to musical instruments. Not the singers or music, just the instruments!

The sheer number of variations completely eclipsed the basic vore and tentacle fetishes of her world!

With this discovery, Ilias decided to poke around, see if anything got her fancy. After a few millena of the same old stuff, the idea of new types of sex excited her somewhat. What harm was there in investigating? She had heard the phrase "I can fap to this" online within her first twenty minutes of ever using a computer. But now? By her name, she understood it, and she was going to live it!

This was why Doppel had suggested this novel series. It was based around a pair of girls getting suckered into becoming heroes, only to fall victim to whatever villain they were facing. They would fight, lose, get into an intensely graphic sex scene, then by the next novel their Deus Ex Machina would clean everything up and remove their memories so they had an excuse to try a different humiliation fresh.

'I should really sue them for plagiarism.'

Ok, it was girl on girl only so it wasn't a total ripoff, but still…

That aside, she did enjoy the series and had already placed an order for the next chapter where a possessed chef captured them and used their bodies as a serving platter (yet another fetish.)

As the goddess intently enjoyed her novel, a trio of girls watched her from the hallway in secret.

"Look at her! Reading porn so openly! Darling could never like someone so shameless!" hissed Miia as she spied on the house's newest addition.

The arachne next to her lacked the Lamia's fervor and pointed out "This coming from the one who keeps trying to sneak into Honey's bed at night wearing transparent lingerie?"

Retreating from around the corner, Miia shot back "That's a sign of affection! This is just perverse!"

"..." The centaur between the two girls said nothing. She just sat there with her arms crossed, her eyes closed, and displeased look on her face.

Centorea wasn't a willing spy. She had just come down to get something from the living room when she came upon Miia and Rachnera hovering just outside the doorway, Miia peeking around the corner from time to time to spy on Ilias and mutter disapprovingly under her breath. She saw no issue with the angel, but was growing increasingly worried about Miia's paranoid delusion that she was secretly plotting to steal their master. Ilias had truly shown no interest whatsoever in the man of the house, but that didn't stop Miia.

"I don't like this. It feels like we're living with Vegeta!"

This got Centorea's long ears to perk up. "Trunks Saga Vegeta or Android Saga Vegeta?"

"Is there even a difference?!" The Lamia balked at her blonde-haired rival.

"Well, one could argue that he mellowed out after the Frieza Saga but slowly became more violent and intense as the series went on and he continued to be outclassed. If you're referring to the Abridged version of Vegeta then- "

"Who cares?!"

Rachnera stepped in with a question. "So you believe her tale about being some sort of god and nearly trying to destroy a planet then?" she asked, seeing this as the only way Miia could've come up with such a comparison.

The lamia folded her arms and pouted "Of course not! I'm just saying that we're living with a dangerous individual who's completely full of themselves, and might be insane!"

"How dangerous do you suppose she is then? If she isn't truly a god?" challenged the Arachne.

"She threw both Tio and Centorea here across the room when she was struggling to kill herself!"

"True." Centorea admitted, remembering that strange aura of brown magic that engulfed Ilias before she tossed her and the Ogre with ease.

Miia popped her face around the corner to make sure Ilias was still there."Plus, she has that strange magic of hers! That isn't normal angel magic!"

It was true that Miia and others knew that some races could use magic by their very nature. Lala could survive without her head attached, devils could use light forms of mind control, and there was even a cyclops sub-type that could shoot eye lasers!

Angels possed a light form of holy magic; "Miracles" as they called them. They would often gather in shrines, temples, and churches to perform these small favors for the faithful, or any others who showed up to gawk. It was completely possible to head down to local shrine on any day of the week and get them to cast some healing to ease a sickness or speed up recovery from an injury. Some angels even specialized in granting fortune with charms of protection or luck written on cards.

Miia had already acquired several, and tried unsuccessfully to use them to grant her Kimihito's love. The twenty or so she had gotten now sat in her room, formed into a house that surrounded a picture of her and her darling on their first date. All in some vain attempt to make the magic work.

These miracles were real, but Miia's failure showed that their magic wasn't very strong. Zombina once joked that a new recruit believed that his charm of protection he had gotten from the angels would keep him safe from bullets. The zombie told him that, unless they were made of kevlar and not paper, he was better off with a vest. There was just limits to what they could do.

With Ilias it was different. "Don't you two even remember what happened yesterday?!"

It was the day before when Ilias joined the other housemates to watch Centorea play the DLC for one of her favorite games that had just come out. She had watched the digital knight the centaur was controlling hurl spears of lightning at some horrible tree monsters, only for them to take no damage and kill her in two hits.

"Oh! What's that!?" chirped Papi in fascination.

"Those are my sunlight spears! They are miracles performed by my warrior whose faith is limitless! (Now, if only the miracles were as good as they were in 2 I wouldn't be losing all these souls...)"

"Hey! Ili, Ili! Can you do that too?!" the harpy had innocently asked the Goddess after hearing they were holy magic, not realizing that real life and video games worked quite differently.

Whereas even a seraphim would need time and concentration to summon one bolt, Ilias effortlessly conjured a lance of pure lighting into her hand.

"Since when can you do that?!" Miia had screamed.

"I just made it up. I tried to match it to the game's representation but-"

"YOU JUST INVENTED THAT TECHNIQUE?!"

Mero was impressed but kept her head about her. "Ummm...Maybe you should put that away? It seems dangerous."

Ilias hadn't thought of this. "Well I can't just turn this thing off. Maybe I can just put it-"

BOOM!

"There's still a scorch mark in the corner! That's not normal! She's not normal!" Miia continued on.

Only the highest ranking angels could summon lighting, it was an ancient and nearly lost art that required great concentration and left them drained heavily. She wasn't even sure if that Seraphim that had just arrived knew how to do it. Meanwhile, Ilias had just pulled some spell out of her ass and was perfectly fine afterward.

All this doomsaying was lost on her cohorts, they didn't seem all that bothered by Ilias's strange nature. Sure, she was odd. But how was that any different than the rest of the house?

Rachnera did agree with her on one point though. "You are sort of right about the Vegeta thing-"

"Wha-That's what you're taking away from all this?!"

"Let's see...Very powerful, living with people they would've killed a few months prior, does their own thing without getting involved with others all that much, allows people who annoy them to live despite the ability to vaporize them." Miia did not like the way her eight red eyes shifted onto her when she said that.

"Wait a-DID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO YAMCHA?!" the redhead erupted in an indignant rage, much to the amusement of the Arachne and indifference of the Centaur.

"...I call Piccolo…..." said the latter.

"OH SHUT UP!" Miia screamed at Centorea before turning her wrath back towards the grinning spider-girl. "I AM NOT YAMCHA IN THIS SITUATION! I WOULD RATHER BE A RANDOM CORPSE ON THE GROUND AFTER A VILLAIN'S RAMPAGE THEN YAMCHA!"

"Aren't those two things the same during most of Z?" Rachnera could barely contain her laughter.

"I do not know what this Yamcha is, but it sounds like failure" came the soft tones of an angel.

Miia jumped in surprise, her long tail wildly flailing and knocking over a nearby entryway table. There was the sound of picture frames smashing on the ground as she turned to see Ilias standing next to them, her face a smug grin as usual.

'That's another thing that worries me. She has two expressions. One is this shit-eating grin, the other is her damn near model of innocence smile. It's creepy!'

As Miia continued to glare at her disapprovingly the other two greeted her sincerely.

"Hey, Ilias"

"Hello, Ilias"

The winged woman's pose softened as she tucked her book under her arm. "Hi girls. Funny story, I was just reading my novel here in the living room when I heard Miia screaming more than usual. What's up?" she casually asked.

There was sweat visible on Miia as she gave a slightly demented laugh in response. "Oh, nothing. We were just talking, waiting for darling to get home, wondering if you were going to kill someone. You know, the usual…"

Miia's passive-aggressive swipe wasn't lost on Ilias. "I'm sensing some hostility here" she casually observed.

"I'm only hostile to those who might want to hurt my darling!" Miia argued, adopting a battle-ready pose.

"Ironic, considering I'm the only one here who hasn't nearly murdered him yet." Ilias pointed out. Her wings gently folded behind her back as she turned to the nearby spider. "Rachnera, please help me with a little fact-checking. How long has it been since Miia almost killed him?"

"3 days" the arachne replied.

"Mero?"

"2 months"

"Papi?"

"4 hours"

"Yourself?"

"4 months (and that was only because Suu made me drop him)."

"Suu?"

"23 hours"

"Centorea?"

"5 days"

"Lala?"

"6 Weeks"

"Some random monster passing by on the street?"

"26 minutes…" The response came not from the Arachne loitering on the stairs, but a recently arrived Kimihitio, who staggered through the front door, sporting a fresh head wound.

He had left the house two hours before to make a trip to the market to pick up a few odds and ends. With Ilias taking a liking to soda (Papi and Suu's choice of beverage as well) they had been burning through bottles quite rapidly. The angel seemed to be having some problems with moderation when it came to her caffeine and sugar intake. Combine that Smith "commandeering" all his coffee randomly last night at close to 3 A.M. and the young man was forced to go stock up on drinks this afternoon. It was only a matter of course that, with his luck, he would somehow have a near death experience while out shopping.

He was really getting the feeling that some cosmic being out there really didn't want him alive...

"Darling?! What happened?!" Miia rushed over to prop up the ailing young man as Centorea took the shopping bags he was still struggling to hold onto.

"Careful with those Cerea, the bagger accidently put the bread under the soda so-"

"Darling! Nevermind that! What happened!?" Miia interrupted.

Blood was gushing down the right side of her darling's face, a fact that seemed to not bother him all that much.

"I don't suppose you three remember that girl we ran into when we went on that trip and ended up working a day at a farm in the countryside? The Minotaur, Cathyl? Well she and her boyfriend are in town and I ran into them at the market. Cathyl overheard me and her boyfriend talking about you guys and getting caught up. When she heard the names of other girls she thought I was trying to set him up with someone. She...overreacted."

The way he talked made it sound like he was just getting back from an ordinary trip downtown, and that he hadn't nearly had his skull crushed by a nearly two and a half meter tall bulldozer with legs. Ilias and the others could only imagine the blood loss and brain trauma, combined with a bit of shock, was making him delirious.

By the way the farmhand the Minotaur was dating was also covered in bandages when he arrived, Kimihito could only guess Cathyl's temper, paranoia, and inability to remember names still hadn't improved. "She should be careful. She could get in trouble for that kind of stuff."

"Let's just go make sure you're ok, Darling." Kimihito held onto Miia's side as the four girls helped him stagger into the kitchen where they kept the (often used) first aid kit.

With Rachnera's help, Miia and Centorea applied the bandages and set their object of affection down in a chair to recover his senses. Ilias leaned back against a counter and casually looked on, taking her book out periodically to flip through it. Miia's screaming had caught her just as she reached the best part! She tried to balance paying attention to the story while still feigning interest in Kimihito's most recent brush with death.

"So then, are you going to be ok? Honey?" A black claw added a few spider-silk bandages to the gushing head wound that really should've rendered him unconscious by now. Rachnera could be quite skilled when it came to medicine, a skill she picked up after injuring her original host family's' daughter.

"I'll be ok...I'm only sad I won't be able to cook dinner. Could one of you handle it, I can't seem to find my feet right noooowwwwhekewnflieabfhjublabflehnjbflhoa…frooozzzzen peasssssssssss…."" the dazed young man tilted his head back and stared up blankly, through unfocused eyes, suddenly becoming completely silent.

"Master, are you certain you will be ok? I'm quite concerned about your health after such a blow to the head." Centorea asked, worried.

Ilias was decidedly less concerned, teasing her housemate "Look on the bright side Centorea. You like your master and you like vegetables, if he loses any more greymatter, you'll be able to combine the two."

Giving up on her book, Ilias closed the novel and peeked around the kitchen at where Mero usually sat. "It's a shame Mero isn't here. This just doesn't feel right without her dropping into a tragedy fantasy in the corner about a woman struggling to remain faithful to their beloved after they fall off a horse and become extremely mentally challenged."

Ilias was genuinely entertained by the Mermaid's (very vocal) daydreams, to the point she actually looked forward to hearing more. Something about hearing tales of pain and misery just made the Goddess feel warm inside.

Sadly, the deranged mermaid was off elsewhere after two horrifying fish people had shown up at the door this morning, claiming they were there on an errand for her mother and had come to collect the princess. Ilias had made every attempt to get away from the abominations when they had appeared in the threshold, but still overheard the two and Mero arguing about the princesses' safety from the other room before Mero's Mother had called to talk. She could only guess the Queen had some reason to fear for her daughter and the two royals had quickly gotten into a light shouting match over the phone before realizing it was very undignified to be arguing like that in front of the household. In the end Mero left the house with the fishfolk to settle things more discretely, promising to talk to her mother at another location and be back in time for dinner.

"I wonder what drove The Queen to send for her like that?" Centorea wondered while shifting through the freezer for an ice pack. As she returned she carried the small blue bag in her hands and gently applied it to her lover's head. "For The Queen to be worried, I can only imagine her spies have warned her of great danger threatening these lands."

Something similar had happened when a dangerous Orc had illegally re-entered the country. The Queen had been informed of their arrival through informants in the Japanese government and sent private security to hunt them down when she learned this dangerous individual was last seen near where her daughter now lived.

Mero's mother may of been a self absorbed and dangerously immature ruler, but when it came to her daughter she was willing to take whatever steps necessary to secure her safety and happiness, regardless of what others might consider morally dubious behavior on her part.

This was the reason their house now had a button that could flood it with water despite the fact that no one asked for such a thing and it was completely fatal to one of it's inhabitants.

"I think we may be in great danger, look over there." Rachnera drew Centorea and Ilias's attention to their redhaired housemate, who was now shifting through the fridge and taking out cookware with a boundless energy.

Miia had been like this ever since Kimihito had mentioned he would be unable cook dinner in his current state. Rachnrea knew that look, knew that speed; Miia had seen an opportunity in those words and sought to act.

"Don't worry everyone! I'll make dinner tonight!"

Sigh...She really hated being right sometimes.

"Ok everyone, fall in!" With Rachnera's command, everyone stood at attention in the kitchen.

Suu, Papi, a recently returned Mero, Ilias, Centorea, and Lala; all formed a line that Rachnera marched across. This was a well practiced response to a well known threat, one that the household responded to with a military precision.

"We have a Code C. I repeat, a Code C; Miia is attempting to cook." The domineering side of the arachne loved playing sargent like this. She just wished it was for better reasons.

It was hard to deny that she still found it as a great excuse to break out the little black military skinsuit she now wore. "As we all know, Honey is far too nice to refuse Miia's cooking outright. So, of course, he will bite the bullet and inevitably end up trying some." Rachnera turned and pointed to the gathered housemates with the little riding crop she held. "Are we prepared?"

Papi bounded up and proudly held a map marked with crayons over her head. "I have my map to the hospital in case I need to fly him over!"

"Good!"

Mero wasn't as enthused but still smiled politely while holding up a small bottle. "This is a powerful anti-toxin brewed from some of the rarest kelp in the ocean."

"It'll work."

Centorea remained stoic as she held a phone in her hands. "I'll pre-dial the first five digits of poison control ahead of time. That should cut down on response time."

"Excellent."

Suu's probosci happily bounced up and down with a great playfulness. "Suu is ready to clean bad stuff in the body!"

"Good. Lala?"

The Dullahan made strange pose, placing her hand across her face dramatically as she held her scythe out intimidatingly. "I am ready to guide all souls to the beyond!"

"Just-Just keep doing that…*Sigh*. Ilias, what about you?"

*Thud!*

Ilias's response came in the form of her using the remnants of her divine strength to easily haul a semi-completed gravestone onto the kitchen table.

Here lies Kimihito Kurusu

January 1st 1997-

The Goddess proceed to produce a chisel and hammer that was placed against the smooth surface of the stone, standing at the ready to complete it while her housemates looked on in shock. All minus Mero, who seemed to be in a slight state of distress.

"...Fair enough…" Rachnera responded.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

Yes. While this was all going on, Miia had still been in the kitchen with them. She was attempting to focus on her dish despite the antics of her housemates. The redhead huffed angrily over the stove, bitterly muttering curses under her breath while stirring the contents of a metal pot with a wooden spoon viciously.

Nearby sat her Darling-kun, looking much better after an hour of drooling and aimless staring. He said as little a possible, knowing that he couldn't just turn Miia down and prove Rachnera right after she worked so hard to improve her cooking skills.

When he was coherent again, she had bombarded him with boasts of her picking up a new recipe online, even going as far as to order special ingredients from America to make this new dish. No matter what happened, no matter how much it hurt him, he just couldn't bare to break her heart by turning her down. This had been something nice she had been planning for a while so he had to act gracious and accept it.

Besides, so far things looked to actually be going well. The pot was at a steady boil, the contents had a good color and smell, it even looked like she was following the recipe on her tablet.

'This might not be so bad' he hoped.

"So, Miia, what are you making for us again?" Kimihito asked with genuine enthusiasm.

Miia's bitterness and rage was washed away by a wave of pride. "Oh darling, it's a special chili made with rare peppers!" With one hand she held up the pepper in question, a horrifically shriveled red pod with a light green stem.

"That thing looks like it's mere existence is painful to it. I never thought I'd see a plant in agony" remarked Ilias.

The Goddess was almost aghast at how the pepper looked like it was trying to shrivel up and die in Miia's hand. After enough tampering with life Ilias could tell a engineered lifeform. There was no chance in hell that thing evolved naturally. This begged the question of where the hell Miia had gotten it.

"It's called a Corolina Ripper! They didn't have any at the market, so it must be very rare. I had to order them specifically from America weeks ago! I had no idea international shipping cost so much!"

That explained one thing, but still left the looming specter of the actual taste test. After hearing that Miia had gone above and beyond just to get the ingredients, Kimihito's fate was sealed. His compassionate nature simply wouldn't allow him to turn the bubbly girl down after going through all this trouble.

He might of been feeling a little less worried about this if he wasn't staring down at his own gravestone on the dining room table. Forget Miia's peppers, where on earth had Ilias even gotten such a thing?!

"Dar-ling! It's ready!" sang Miia, swaying back and forth as she slithered over.

In her mittened hands was the metal pot, a steady steam rising from within. Surprisingly, everything seemed alright as it just looked and smelled like normal chili. No purple mass of darkness, no death miasma, not even any random bones sticking out of the surface.

Kimihito looked at the dinner questionably before hesitantly saying "It looks good. Thank you, Miia" trying his best to not let his worries get to him. Despite all the fanfare, Miia had actually cooked a decent dinner for once it appeared.

For the lamia, these simple words meant the world to her. Her heart felt like it was ready to explode with joy!

Vindication!

At long last she would have her moment of pride! Of happiness!

Nothing could ruin this moment! Not even that damn angel and her annoying comments!

A phone was raised in the Goddesses' hands. With a tap on the screen she played the bell of a frycook. "*Ding!* One cancer surprise, commmiiiiiiinnnnngggggggg up!"

The bowl was served to Kimihito. Miia wouldn't let Ilias ruin this moment, she would be the bigger person and just bask in the victory she had achieved, a contented smile on her face as she ignored those hurtful words.

Kimihito took one spoonful and ate it.

"So how is it darling? Is it good? Do you love it? Do you love me?"

He stopped. Why did he stop?

"Darling?"

The young man sat there, not reacting, his face locked in a bizarre stare with the spoon still in his mouth.

"Oh I know! You must be shocked by how good it is! Right? Darling?"

Miia tried several more times to get a response. She was getting a little worried after he didn't move at all for the first minute. Was he still breathing?

"Corolina Ripper...Corolina Ripper...Corolina Ripper…Nothing..." Centorea sat back with the rest of the girls, muttering to herself as she continued to use her phone's search function to no avail. She eventually gave up and told them "I cannot find evidence of such a plant existing, tis strange."

"I have tried as well, no luck" Merro reported, her own pink tablet in her hands.

Rachnera watched Suu and Papi poke and prod a few of the leftover peppers on the counter, acting cautious, as if they expected the pods to explode on them in a spray of flesh eating acid. Grabbing one herself, the arachne inspected it carefully. "Ilias is kinda right, these things look like a mutant wanting to be put out of it's misery. They're so deformed, is this how they're supposed to be?"

Just as Suu simply suggested "Picture Search?" and gestured to the camera on Papi's phone, Centorea was hit with a sudden realization.

Her brow narrowed "Does anyone know how good Miia's english is?" her question asked with the utmost seriousness.

Two delicate and webbed hands softly clapped together. "Oh right! It was an American website she ordered them from, so it was probably in english!" Mero exclaimed, awed by Centorea's cunning.

"Indeed. I suspect Miia may of mis-translated the name of the pepper since she is unfamiliar with english" Centorea explained.

Both Mero and Centorea were well aware of how badly things could be lost in translation. It had been a random night when the pair had discovered they both shared a understanding of english the others lacked.

Hailing from Europe, Centorea had learned english as a secondary language early in life. With the Centaur race thundering across the continent far and wide, they found they had need of a lingua franca; a bridge langue, common enough to find at least one or two speakers wherever they went that could translate into other tongues. The Mermaids had done the same with their vast, undersea empire.

In both these cases it was extremely common to find members of their race who could speak a primary language, english or another far-reaching language, and even some additional tongues (japanese in the case of Centorea and Mero.)

Since the day they discovered this, the pair had made a small game of finding amusing mistranslations and showing them to the other to laugh at. Just last week Mero had found in a local market stall a movie called "Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys."

Before one could even say "All your base are belong to us" Rachnera had found the true name of the plant, letting the search engine's autocorrect lead her to the right search within seconds. When she saw pictures of the warped pepper, she knew it was the right one.

"Ok, here it is, the Carolina Reaper, a crossbred pepper that holds the record as the hottest pepper in the-"

Dead silence lingered for a few seconds. "...Miia? How many peppers did you use?" There was definite twitch in the Arachne's main right eye.

"What kind of question is that? Isn't chili just crushed up peppers mixed with a lot of hot sauce and seasonings? I used the whole bag besides the small ones over on the counter there."

2 pound bag...convert to metric... take a slight guess at how much each pepper weighed…

Yeah, no matter how Rachnera or the rest did the math, this wasn't good.

"Oh good lord…" Centorea cursed.

Ilias. "Leave me out of this."

"It's just some spice. That's never killed anyone before...right?" Centorea looked towards the others for confirmation.

Ilias pondered the question, a finger to the side of her lips. "It's been awhile since I've toyed with any biological designs (I left that to Promestein mostly). But if memory serves me right, there's a slight chance the chili will eat through the bottom of stomach. If that happens the capsaicin will hit his bloodstream directly and he'll eventually die of a shock-induced heart attack. He'll die in about 18 hours, burning in agony the whole time." There was no alarm in her voice whatsoever as she explained this.

The Goddess had to admit that was a hell of way to die, even she never thought to turn someone's very blood into a burning acid.

Although; she did actually once try to modify the baptism to do that with male semen rather than keep with the tried and true angel liver flavoring method. This was about 1100-1200 years ago and it hadn't quite worked out the way she had intended.

First their balls exploded in the sexual sense-...then they exploded in the literal sense.

Speaking of explosive eruptions, the dining room/kitchen area erupted into the chaos as the girls broke into a blind panic, frantically scrambling to help their endangered crush. All seemingly having forgotten their careful planning.

In the chaos Centorea had the sense to knock the spoon out of her master's mouth with a soft flick of her hand.

This unleashed a cauldron of burning hellfire that Kimihito's mouth had become. Left and right, the young man started screaming up torrents of flame as Centorea's slap had knocked him out of his initial shock. Forcing him to suddenly become more aware of the agonizing pain shooting through his body like the stabbing of a thousand flaming knives.

The centaur awkwardly backed away, suddenly realizing she had only made things worse.

In the least surprising turn of events ever, Ilias remained completely unconcerned despite the young man spasming on the floor. "If I end him now that'll count as a mercy killing, right? That'll hold up in a court of law?" she wondered aloud.

"Hold on Darling! I've got water right here!" Miia attempted to rush over with a water jug, only to be met the back the back of Ilias's hand in her way.

The Goddess stopped her in her tracks."You're dealing with an oil. Oil and water don't mix. The most you'll do is spread it even further" she warned the girl with the jug.

"They what are we supposed to do?!"

Ilias smugly pointed out "My world wasn't exactly a model of scientific advancement and study, but even we already knew that milk was the best way to counter this kind of heat."

This was one of the oldest tricks in the book, even a culture that hadn't figured out indoor plumbing yet knew that milk was the only thing to counter mouth burn.

"Oh! But Papi drank the last of the milk this morning after our beloved went to the store!" Meroune called out.

Miia screamed "What?! I thought you didn't even like milk all that much!?"

"Ili, Ili drank all the soda!" Papi yelled, using her pet name for Ilias.

"Hey! I was thirsty!"

Leaving Ilias's soda intake issue aside, Papi's eyes lit up with determination. "I know where we get milk! Chhaaarrrrggggeeeeee!" she yelled and dove towards the most likely source of milk in her mind. Namely a certain centaur.

The smaller of the two romantic rivals dodged Centorea's attempts to swat her away, banking around any resiting hands mid-air before swinging around to grapple the blonde from behind. From there she did her best to copy the movements she had observed that day they had gone to a farm with all those other exchange students.

"Agh! Papi! Cease your attempts to use me like bovine livestock!" Having her chest groped and stimulated by the feathered tips of Papi's limbs caused Centorea no small amount of distress.

In response she began to buck and flail with the bird girl continuing her stimulating assault from the centaur's back, her face going flush from the sensations. With Papi glued to Centorea's back things started looking like some strange and perverse rodeo, Papi continuing to try and milk the centaur while she attempted to toss the bluenette off. In the chaotic whirlwind of hooves and clawed feet (also undeniable bounciness), Mero narrowly avoided being trampled while it was only Ilias's keen reflexes that allowed her to dodge a talon that came flying towards her neck.

Eventually the clashing pair stumbled out the door and into the rest of the house. From the kitchen the others could hear their destruction and screaming traveling from room to room.

"I have no milk to give! Why do people keep assuming I do?!"

With them out of the picture, Miia screamed "AGH! We need to do something! I can't ruin Darling's mouth before we even share our first kiss!"

Rachnera decided not to point out how presumptive that was. Instead she called out "Ilias, didn't you have Honey grab you some yogurt cups at the store?"

For reasons better left unknown to the others (a prank involving a fake bukkake she and Doppel were planning) Ilias had requested Kimihito make a stop at the local mart to take advantage of a buy one get one free deal on white yogurt 12-packs. They didn't have milk but, thanks to Ilias, their fridge was overloaded with yogurt cups.

"Quickly! We must cram his orifices full of sticky, white fluid!" spoke Ilias. It being hard to miss the sadistic smile on the face of the goddess.

"You're making jokes while my darling is suffering?!" screamed Miia.

"Quit bickering you two and help me fix this!" The fridge door was swung open with enough force to rattle the frame. From within, Rachnera began taking out armfuls of yogurt cups.

Despite the plea, it was was clear Ilias wasn't entirely done. "I'm coming! I'll give him all he can swallow! *snicker snicker*"

It took the girls some effort to hold Kimihito down and force him to stop screaming long enough to take in the relieving dairy. He would be fine, but it would be a week before his sense of taste would return and he could go to the bathroom without feeling like he was forcing pure lava out of his bowels.

He currently sat at the dinner table with the others, nursing both his burned mouth and Miia's shattered pride. Apparently failed attempt #481 was getting to her and she sat with her face pressed against the table in humiliation.

The only one missing was Ilias. She was busy with something at nearby counters but hadn't really bothered to explain with what to the others what that was. It had started out with her seeing how much of her yogurt was left but now she was doing something with the leftover cookware on the stove. Over the sound of Miia's self loathing, it was possible to the make out the telltale sizzle of something in oil.

None of the others paid her much mind. They were all busy tending to their beloved while also getting in a few swipes at each other. After all, the whole fiasco was just another opportunity to earn some points with her honey to Rachnera.

"Glad you're feeling ok. I was worried those two were going to trample you during their struggle." Two clawed fingers point at a flustered centaur and oblivious harpy, back from their perverse rodeo around the house.

Centorea wasn't in the mood to talk, holding onto her sore chest while muttering "Every time...I am not a milk-type..." and Papi was busy inspecting the latent gravemarker Ilias had left on the table with Suu.

The slime had taken a curious interest in the stone, a fact that seemed to cause a nearby Mero visible distress.

During the chaos earlier she even had tried to sneak the stone away, but found herself unable to move it while stuck in her wheelchair. Since things had died down Mero had merely resigned herself to casting passing glances at the grave marker when she foolishly thought no one was looking before peeking at the one who had stolen it from her room.

Yes, the false grave was Mero's. The mermaid princess had acquired it some time ago from a highly repudiated craftsman whose name often floated around the royal parties she had once attended in the royal court.

It turned out that the merfolk were willing to pay good money for fake graves engraved with the names of their lovers, all in the name of a little tragic roleplay.

Sapphire eyes bulged in their sockets. 'Oh dear! Please don't tell me she found my mourner's veil and black dress as well!?'

All of Mero's fantasy gear had been stored a good ten meters deep in her pool, behind a false panel that hid a compartment that had once housed extra pipes that had no longer been needed after an upgrade. She couldn't even fathom how Ilias had removed the weighty object from so far under the water's surface.

'Nevermind that! How did she even find out where I hid it?!' Mero's look of confusion was well warranted. Who else knew her pool well enough to locate a hidden panel?!

What the mermaid didn't know was that Ilias shared a trait common with her creations. Namely, a rather absurdly sensitive olfactory system. One that was finely turned to the smell of lust and sexual fluids. Both male and female.

Everyone knew the angels were strong and lived for ages. Their keen sense of smell when it came to love juices wasn't as widely known, just as Ilias wished it to be. Being able to detect sexual secretions up to 11 km away aided immensely in locating those who would dare to break the first commandment.

The first's creations could hide from superior eyesight, they could adapt new ways to be silent to avoid keen hearing. What they couldn't do was cover up the fact that they constantly reeked of sex and were in a perpetual heat. Smell was the perfect sense to boost so that her angels could locate their prey from the air. She had eventually modified her heavenly form with this upgrade (Goddesses could do that since they did whatever the fuck they wanted to after all) since she believed it wouldn't be right for her creations to posses a power she did not.

Anyway, long story short; Ilias could smell where they kept their porn.

She quietly revealed in this fact and Mero's confusion while continuing to listen in on Miia's despair, still working at the counter, tongs in hand.

"I'm worthless...There's no reason for me to exist…" groaned the despondent lamia.

Ilias spoke up for the first time since they had sat down at the table behind her. "Erection fuel is a perfectly legitimate reason to exist. I made an entire race based off that premise."

Miia never removed her face from the tabletop. She didn't even have the drive to do that. "Enough...I'm not in the mood to listen to your delusions...Just leave me to suffer."

"Can do!"

The goddesses's cheery reply left a bitter taste in Miia's mouth but she decided she wasn't in the mood to but heads with the angel again. Rage took an energy she just didn't have right now.

"At the very least we must be grateful for master's health despite the...complications in our response." Centorea offered optimistically.

Rachnera was slightly offended. "Hey! My plan was sound. Suu could of gotten that junk out of his mouth before any damage was done if she did what she was supposed to do."

Suu lived life in her own rhythm. When everyone had started to panic she following the rest, running around with her arms flailing in a comical manner. She didn't understand why she was doing this, it just seemed to be what she should be doing.

Everyone at the table became faintly aware of a pleasant smell drifting across the room. It's source being the stove Ilias was standing at. She still didn't explain what she was up to but interjected "Probably for the best that Suu didn't help. Do you really want to imagine what she would be like with a burning heat inside her?"

The wriggling of slimy tendrils...the squelching of suction upon breasts...helpless moaning of a victim before submission...the eventual collapse as each member of the household was brought to exhaustion…

Centorea imagined all these things and shivered. Ilias was right, it was far, far better that Suu had not acted…

"I hate to disturb this talk of the Blue Void's tentacles of forced intrusion. But what shall we dine upon tonight now that the Brew of Hell's Hate has been dumped down the sink?" Lala suddenly spoke, being quiet up until she realized her own hunger.

The smell of frying oil did nothing to help her ignore this.

A flying phone impacted the side of an annoyed Rachnera's face, limply thrown with utter distaste by Miia. It was her white flag of surrender. "Just pizza again...I'll pay…" A white banking card soon followed, bouncing off the Arachne's nose with much less force before clattering to the table in disdain.

"Oh my!" A soft gasp cut through Miia's muffled bellowing.

Mero's eyes had been following Ilias for some time but she was still shocked when the angel turned around to reveal she was eating what appeared to be a fresh lump of fried dough; cooked to a golden brown and layered in sauce with a slight drizzle of shredded mozzarella.

"Ilias? You made dinner?" asked a pleasantly surprised Kimihito.

Ilias herself seemed just as surprised, looking down at the morsel as if she didn't know where she had gotten it. "Oh...I guess I did. I suppose I must have been so hungry I made myself something without even realizing it."

"WHAT?!" Miia's scream was accompanied by a horrific snap as her tail crushed a nearby chair leg it had been wrapped around, sending Papi to the floor.

"Food!" the harpy happily yelled as she instantly shot to her feet, unconcerned about the fall and the

"I didn't exactly make this for you and I'm sure as hell not about to share" Ilias warned her.

Kimihito pointed behind her. "Then what about all that?"

Being confused at first as to why everyone seemed to looking past her, Ilias turned to see what they were all staring at with glistening eyes.

"The hell?!"

The Goddess couldn't understand it. Behind her laid a fully prepared dinner of the carnival staple. Each lump of the fried treat had been cooked, plated, and topped depending on who it was for.

Plain sugar for Suu and Papi, sugar with strawberries for Mero, Centorea's had a mixture of melted cheese and veggies, Rachnera's and Miia's also had cheese but replaced the vegetables with pepperoni, boring old Kursu's just had some regular tomato sauce on it; a perfect fit for his basic personality.

Most baffling, Ilias had even gone through the trouble of sprinkling chocolate sauce onto Lala's in the pattern of some dark, ritual glyphs that made the blueish girl's eyes sparkle when she saw it.

"When did I...How...Why…?"

What had just happened? Ilias remembered starting out checking to see how much yogurt she had left. Then she faintly remember seeing the unused pizza dough in the fridge and realizing it was getting close to it's expiration date.

One thing lead to another. She hadn't even been all the focused on what she was doing since she was listening in on Miia's borderline suicidal despair. It was like-... instinct took over. She didn't even remember taking out the pan.

Every motion was a blur. She was conscious, but it was like when you walked a route you had taken thousands of times before. Eventually, you can't remember making the trips. "This isn't right! I'd never do something like this!"

Seriously, what the hell just happened to her?! Ilias would never go out of her way to cook for others, let alone take such care with their preferences and dietary needs. Lala's seriously looked like something a doting mother would make for their excited child.

This fact wasn't lost of the others. Miia was (of course) incensed beyond belief, gnashing her teeth and clutching the tablecloth between her fingers with an iron grip; her eyes glaring at Ilias like she wanted hate-powered beams to shoot out of them and vaporize her. But even the older girls seemed wary at the prospect of another girl in the house being able to prepare a meal so well.

Each piece was perfectly proportioned to the size of its recipient, they were all cooked to fluffy golden brown, the kitchen wasn't a mess, even the presentation looked top notch. This wasn't the work of an ameture.

But all this brought up one big question for the Goddess. One which she didn't have an answer to.

"When the hell did I learn to cook?"