Chapter 2

It was a matter of minutes till the clock-work droids came barging, er, dancing inside the Tyler apartment, dressed in clothes that could politely be described as slutty.

Jack was the first one to comment. "I recognize them!"

The Doctor shot him a dirty look. Was there anyone he had not yet fraternized with? "Of course you do."

Jackie in turn shot him a dirty look, before directing it at Rose, and then at the dancing monsters. "Can I have one bleeding holiday in my bleeding house where I'm not being attacked by bleeding aliens thanks to the bleeding alien my daughter ran away with?"

Mickey sighed, still unable to believe this was happening again. "I should have just gone to Martha's."

"What's happening over there?" Donna demanded from inside the TARDIS, where she was in charge of keeping Tony safe.

Rose answered her. "The bots are coming."

"How did you break the console screen, spaceman?"

The Doctor flushed at the memory of the things he had done to Rose against the console and how they had ended up damaging a few things in their excited state. He huffed in feigned irritation- he wasn't answering to someone about his own ship. "It was an accident. Now can we please focus?"

"Hold on now, these are bots from a really hot club back home, they are designed to dance." Jack explained helpfully, a plan already forming in his head, mentally smirking at how he beat the Doctor to the rescue this time. "We can blend in and then shut them down from the mainframe. I don't think they'll attack us if we dance. Everybody, start dancing!"

The Doctor stared at him like he had just asked them to dance with blood-thirsty robots. Oh, wait, he had. "What?"

"I said", Jack punctuated, like he was talking to a little kid, feeling very clever, "start dancing!"

"What?"

"Do you have a better plan?" Rose asked through gritted teeth. Her annoyance was written all over her face. She loved the misadventures, but not with Tony around. He was too young for any of this.

The Doctor tugged on his ear guiltily. "I'm working on it."

"Then shut up and dance with me!" Rose demanded, taking his hand in hers before he could protest further.

"What's happening now?" Donna barked again.

"We're dancing with bleeding robots!" Jackie yelled back.

Rose Tyler rued the moment she had decided on this outfit. If she could get to the TARDIS and get back in time to talk herself out of it, she totally would, paradoxes be damned, because dancing in a stupid gown with stupid high heels while trying not to get killed by clockwork droids was an absolute pain in the arse. "Can I just say, for the record, that this is absolutely ridiculous?"

The Doctor, dressed comfortably in his usual suit and trainers, damn him, looked at her with a hint of childish delight in his eyes. "Oh, yes!"

Mickey shook his head, just thankful that, for a change, they weren't stranded in an unknown ship in the distant future while the Doctor ran away from his feelings for Rose by jumping on a horse. He turned to Jackie, a look of disbelief on his face. "How did we go from Halloween to this again?"

Jackie scowled. "With those two? We 'ad it coming. I should 'ave known it when I invited himself to the party."

"We need to find the control bot." The Doctor said, trying to divert the attention back from Jackie's usual disapproval of him.

"Working on it." Jack announced.

"Meanwhile, mum, I can't believe you picked us as Tony's legal guardians. Do we look like responsible adults to you?" She shot a pointed look in the general direction of the robots to make her point.

"Hey, speak for yourself." The Doctor said indignantly.

Which added more weight to her claims. She pointed at her alien dance partner. "I already have my hands full with this one."

A smirk lit up Jack's face. "Tell me more."

Rose ignored him and continued the argument with her mother. "You didn't even ask us!"

"Well, I asked your bloke."

At Rose's glare, the Doctor quickly shook his head. "More like told me her decision." At Jackie's glare, he flashed her what he hoped was a winning smile- blimey, he hated being caught in Tyler Women Wars. "Not that I had any objections, mind you, because I obviously didn't, how could I? Brilliant, it is. Molto bene."

Rose's glare returned. "How come you didn't tell me?"

"Must have slipped my mind. Jack, do you have a PPP?" The Doctor asked frantically, hoping they could avoid having a row and ending up sleeping in separate beds before they made up and made up for it in a most delightful way.

And then, out of the blue, everyone switched dance partners, and the Doctor ended up with a clock-work droid. Before he could shoot a witty insult about it, his lips were captured by cold hard metal.

They all forgot to move for a minute. The Doctor stared, wide-eyed. Did he just get…? No. NO. Rassilon, this couldn't be happening.

"Oh my God!" Rose said out loud, vocalizing his thoughts.

"What's happening?" Donna demanded, banging on the TARDIS door for good measure.

"The Doctor just got snogged by a murderous robot." Rose answered, still unable to decide if it was comical or disturbingly disgusting.

Donna, however, wasn't shocked. She simply snorted. "Are you kidding me? Is there anyone he hasn't snogged?"

"There's me!" Mickey said quickly, before Jack could get any ideas, knowing how his mind worked.

"Rooooose?" Tony now banged on the TARDIS door impatiently, adding to the chaos.

Rose felt a wave of panic wash through her. "Tony! Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. Can I come out?"

"No, you can't yet."

"I'm coming out."

"Stay there. I'll buy you a chocolate."

"The ones with nuts?"

"Sure."

"And fruits?"

"Okay."

"The big boxes?"

"Don't push it, mate." She rolled her eyes fondly at her brother.

Before they could negotiate further, the Doctor located the mainframe and disabled the droids. They all stopped moving, bowing down, and everyone sighed in relief.

Donna and Tony came out once they were sure it was safe.

Tony looked at Rose with big brown eyes. "Don't you want me to live with you?"

"Do you want to live with me?" She countered.

Tony thought for a moment about all the sleepovers and pillow fights and x-box games and toy sword fights with the Doctor. Then he remembered his solemn vow to never show affection for his sister publicly. He made a face and stuck out his tongue. "No."

Rose smiled knowingly. "So you get just how I feel."

"Yeah." His attention was captured by the now immobile droids. "Can I play with those?"

The Doctor shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid I'll have to send those back to where they came from, sorry, bro."

"How many more of these are out there, do you reckon?"

"I'd rather not find out." Donna said, and dismissed that discussion there. She stretched her arms and craned her neck, hating how she missed out the alien adventure. Again. "Blimey, I felt claustrophobic in there for a while!"

"Rose, I'm hungry." Tony announced, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Can you make me your pancakes?"

"Sure. You'll owe me for that."

"But you owe me for last week when mum wanted you to-"

Rose covered his mouth with her hands before he could finish that sentence and land her in hot waters with their mother again. She greeted him with a sweetened smile. "Pancakes coming right up."

Donna smiled fondly. She knew what it was like to have a clever little brother who could be a stupid git. Sort of. "No, seriously. You expect those two to live together peacefully?"

Jackie shrugged. "Who said anything about peace?"

The Doctor, meanwhile, had gathered the droids in the TARDIS, ready to take them where they came from. He turned to his pink and yellow human. "Rose, I'll be back soon."

"If you set the coordinates right." She mumbled under her breath, causing Tony to snicker.

"Don't wait up." He added.

"I never do." She said, mentally noting to wait five and a half hours, like always.

"I think I've had enough excitement for the day. I'd just head home and take a kip." Donna announced, grabbing her coat.

"I'll walk you." Jack rushed hurriedly.

Mickey was the next to go. "I'm heading over to Martha's. See you soon, Rose, Tony. Bye Jackie."

That only left Jackie, who stifled a yawn before turning her stern gaze to her kids. "I'll be in my room. Don't fight. Don't break anything."

Once Jackie was out of earshot, Rose fixed Tony with a look. "Now then. What's it gonna take for you to not tell Donna that you caught us kissing back there?"

Tony grinned evilly. "I already told her."

Her mouth hung open.

When the Doctor walked in, she didn't give him time for pre-ambles or bragging. "Donna knows we're dating."

"Oh." He said simply.

"So by now everyone we know knows." She added, still gob smacked. "I'm confused."

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow, before grabbing the jam off the table and sticking his fingers inside.

"Why hasn't mum slapped you yet?"

He only grinned at her like he knew something she didn't. Which was true. Oh, Jackie Tyler had slapped him alright. She had also threatened him about the consequences of hurting her daughter in a dozen ways. Peter Tyler had warned him too, and if he wasn't a high and mighty Time Lord and all, at the end of it, he might just have cried.

But Rose didn't need to know that. He could tell her whatever he wanted. Eloquent and elaborate stories. For instance, "Huh. I don't know."