Mikasa and Armin were wandering the halls late at night, chatting softly.

They noticed that the Captain's room was closed again, which was the sign that there was important business being discussed and they were not to be interrupted.

They were just about to wander off, when they heard a faint groan. Both of them looked at each other and crept up to the door, leaning forward to catch what was happening.

"It's so tight," Levi said, grunting again.

"We'll just have to get something to make it easier – perhaps some butter to lubricate would do the trick?" asked Erwin.

"Yes, maybe."

"Or maybe we can get Eren, and you can control him if he starts to transform?"

"That brat – I don't think he can keep a dirty little secret like this," snapped Levi.

"Come on, you little bitch!"

"It's just… the wrong angle…. ah, that's better!"

Mikasa couldn't help it – she gasped, already on edge since hearing that they wanted her brother involved in whatever sordid affair they had going on.

The door opened. "What do you two want?" Levi demanded, looking at them suspiciously.

"Ah… Heichou… we didn't mean to intrude," Armin said. Both of them were blushing furiously, although Mikasa was surprised that Levi's clothes looked relatively neat. His skills were indeed lightning-speed.

Erwin grunted again. "Dammit!"

They both looked directly at Levi, not daring to peek into the room.

"What is it, Levi?" Erwin came to the door. He was holding a jam jar, still struggling to get the lid off.

The young recruits both breathed a sigh of relief.

Levi glared at them, instantly knowing what they'd thought.

"What's going on?" asked Erwin. "Levi, explain to me!"

Levi stood like a statue, glaring daggers at the young recruits for putting him in this situation. They looked sheepish.

After a few moments, Levi responded "Nothing's wrong. For snooping, these two have just volunteered to clean the entire place from top to bottom. And I WILL be inspecting it."

Both of them turned pale.

Levi slammed the door.

Armin and Mikasa looked at each other, and couldn't help but bursting into silent giggles.

The door opened again. "NOW!" roared Levi.

"H-hai!" They saluted, and dashed off.