OBSERVING

Genre: Drama Romance AU

Rating: T

Pairing: (mainly) Hong Kong x Iceland, DenNor

(Names from wikia) : Denmark (Mikkel), Norway (Lukas), Iceland (Emil), Hong Kong (Xiao)

Summary: Realizing Lukas has his boyfriend, Emil became depressed. But he failed to notice someone who had been watching him from nearby while his mind was preoccupied with Lukas.

Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Power Hetalia, but this fanfiction is mine and mine only! xD This is just an Alternate Universe fanfiction.. Anything related to the real life, person's name, and world history has nothing to do with this fanfiction… There are no affiliations to actual countries, military, and such. There is absolutely no intent to slander the reputations or rights of those above in this piece.

Warning: Self-harm attempt.

Chapter 11 : Positive Energy

Emil stared into his room, a puzzled expression written on his face as he looked at the newly cleaned bed. He looked over to his drawer. No pills, or any self-harm items were to be found. He watched as his brother sat on his bed, motioning for him to sit beside him. It felt weird, getting back to the usual routine, right after he had tried to kill himself a few days ago. Even with the small things such as trying to drown himself into a dreamland and never wake up.

"Stop staring, just sit down." Lukas muttered, waiting for the Icelander to mutely obey him. A few minutes passed and Lukas wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulder, pulling him closer.

"Lukas…" Emil warned him.

"I know, this is just affection between brothers." The younger of the two nodded before swatting his hand away.

"I'm no longer a child, so stop doing that!" He hissed at him angrily. Lukas looked away, his lips tugging into a smile.

"I guess I have to for now, but someone will likely replace me sometime soon."

Emil huffed at him and stood up. "I don't know about that…" He said and winced as he slowly peeled off the bandages from his injured wrist.

Lukas stared at him while Emil inspected his wound.

"Tino would like to talk to you about something… You'll see him in routine. Are you okay with this, Emil?"

Emil frowned at the inquiry, for he knew that Tino was a psychiatrist. "Is he going to hypnotize me or something?" The bland question threw his brother off.

Their eyes met for a second before Emil exhaled softly.

"Just do what you think is right for me." Emil waved his hand at him nonchalantly.

"You're not going to object?" That surely brought surprise to Lukas, he never thought that Emil would immediately agree to it so fast. The silver haired boy looked down on his left hand, clenching and unclenching his fist for a moment before opening his mouth.

"Apparently, someone wants me to stay alive so that he can confess…" Emil shook his head, he couldn't stop the smirk gracing his lips. Lukas's eyes widened, he brought his hand to his mouth to hide his chuckle. Emil was stunned by the time he realized that Lukas was, indeed, laughing. He snorted and shook his head.

"Yes, go laugh all you want." He snickered and took his bag to pull out his clothes, which he had been using in the hospital, and threw each of them into the hamper.

Xiao shot Emil a look once he received the news. They were just talking in front of the living room of Emil's house when the Icelander told him what Lukas had planned. The thought of Emil going to a psychiatrist was somewhat scary, but if that could make him feel better,then... why not? Xiao's gripped the pillow with force as he leaned forward to confirm it.

"Are you alright with that?"

Emil shrugged. "I've stayed with him when I was a kid, I'm sure it'll be alright. We're just going to talk, nothing else. Maybe he'll do some kind of tricks on me, but it wouldn't hurt to try."

Xiao stilled as he watched him closely, he wondered if Emil had somehow changed. "Are you sure?"

Emil growled and threw him the pillow he was holding. "Quit it, both you and Lukas are the same!" His eye twitched when Xiao caught the pillow before it hit his face.

"I'm not your brother." Xiao muttered, eyes shifting to the side.

"Yeah… yeah…" The silver hair boy leaned back to the comfy sofa. He yelped when a pillow got thrown at him from his so called best friend. His face turned red when Xiao laughed at him.

"Some friend you are." He marched forward to swing the pillow to the Asian. They both had a small pillow fight until they ran out of breaths. Emil was gasping heavily once he felt his head hurt.

"Damn it, this is your fault." Emil mumbled while clutching his head.

Xiao patted his back. "Don't move around too much."

The teen grunted while he leaned into the sofa next to his best friend. "Says the one who started it!" he looked up only to see the Asian hovering above him with a tender smile. He sucked in his breath when Xiao leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"I just wanted to see you have some fun." Xiao chuckled when he was shoved away by the blushing Icelander.

"Get off!" Emil stuttered, cupping his face with his hand to try to hide his blush.

"I did promise you, once you've recovered that I'd say those three words."

Emil rolled his eyes. "Say it now, I might not be alive tomorrow…"

"What?!"

"If you're not going to say it, I'm not going to talk with Tino and have him help me."

"Emil, that's not fair…"

"Well, it's up to you…" The smirk tugging on his lips made Xiao wince.

"Fine… I love you!"

Both of them looked at each other before Emil cringed.

"That doesn't sound romantic at all…"

"You're right…" The awkward silence hung between both of them, neither daring to break it. Emil's hands were fisting the pillow beneath him, he bit his lip as his heart beat faster.

'I'll stay alive… I will… until the end of my life just to hear him repeating those words again and again…'

On the other side of the wall, Lukas sighed as he crossed his arms. Mikkel was trying his best not to laugh.

"How are we going to walk past the living room, now?" Lukas muttered. Adolescences… He sighed yet again, at least his brother got someone special in his heart now. He peeked into the living room, deciding to help him break the awkward silent. He stepped inside, pretending that he did not hear a thing, he gave a teasing look at Emil's relieved one. His brother was glad that Lukas came to the rescue.

The hand tugged on his left hand, Emil looked down to see Xiao had put his hand on top of his. He looked away, pretending that he didn't care, but he did not shove his hand away.

Tino was smiling from ear to ear. He had gathered his documents for Emil's check up. The boy who sat in front of him silently observed the papers given to him.

"So I guess since now you had some knowledge on how we are going to do this, I want you to read this sentences every day." Tino said, clapping his hands. He picked up his large notebook, started scribbling through his paper.

"We don't always have to go hypnotized session. We will see as the story progress from your part. So, Emil. What I wanted you to do now is, tell me how you are feeling right now." Tino said, eyeing him after he finished with his sentence.

Emil frowned at him. "What I'm feeling? Right now?"

Tino nodded. "Yes, tell me everything you are feeling. You can spill everything up. Anything good you are eating this morning? Anything weird going within your surroundings? Do tell me about it. I'm here to listen."

Emil scratched his head, a little bit confused. "I don't see anything can relate to my suicide attempt but… okay… I'm good. I eat eggs and bacon this morning. Apparently Lukas burnt it a bit. And then Xiao… He asked me to let him come with me to your house. He got classes so I told him not to."

Tino nodded, scribbling down to his notebook. He poured everything Emil said into bullet points. "Anything else that you would like to tell me?"

Emil looked down. "Xiao… He seemed annoying lately."

For a moment of silent, Tino finally looked up from his note.

"Annoying?" the man pressed the word. Emil nodded in return.

"Uhh yea… kinda…"

"How annoying is he? Does that bother you a lot?"

Emil shook his head. "Not really… it's just that… he had never done that before so it's kinda new to me. It will take time but I will get used to it."

"Do you want him to stop?"

Another shook of his head and Tino nodded.

"Alright. If that's alright with you. Anything else?"

Emil poured his day to Tino. Their first session was nothing like he had imagined it will be like. It seemed normal. It felt good to have someone to talk to. Tino had never laugh or even told him to stop rambling. All he ask was a simple question in which make him thought his day was actually quiet colorful. This kind of session was actually not a bad idea.

"You smiled." Tino suddenly pointed it out to him.

Emil blinked. "Huh?"

"You just smiled. Did you think of something?"

"Ah well… I just thought it's nice to have someone to share like this. Believe me when I'm thinking my first session will end up having me all tied down and you will do some kind of crazy tricks on me."

Tino burst out laughing. "No no, it will only needed if that patient badly wanted to hurt himself or having a nervous breakdown much heavier than you are. But, actually I've been thinking about hypnotizing you to be a better person. We won't jump into that until I see your progress worsen. We'll keep doing this until you are stable enough. I just saw you smile, it's a good thing." Tino put his pen down.

"It's been an hour. Here, drink this water. You've been talking non-stop. We'll end this session with the word I gave you just now. I will be right back."

Emil did what Tino told him and waited. He picked the note and read through this. So it's like a magic word to hypnotize yourself everyday unintentionally. Tino walked back to him with a snack, gave it to him and sat in front of him again.

"Okay, repeat after me. You have to say it full of confident."

Emil nodded.

"My name is Emil. I have the right and now have a gratifying health, wealth and happiness. I feel my life is free, as they should be. I am blessed, happy, peaceful and happy…"

Emil read it along with a pleasant feeling. It was like he himself told him that. The entire positive aura seems to gathered within his mind.

"I'm important… I'm useful… I'm worth living. Every day I am grateful for all the blessings I have received. I'm happy for the kindness I have received. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you." Emil said to himself, smiling down to the note he had read for the third day.

"What's that?" Xiao asked, looking over the note Emil was reading. The silver hair boy looked up to the Asian boy.

"Just something Tino gave me to read every day." The boy smiled, nodding after he read the text.

"It's something to boost your energy and positive aura. It's a good thing. Keep on reading it every day and you will see live in a different perspective." Xiao fumed, smiling to himself.

Emil snorted. "Yea yea… whatever…"

Xiao patted his head. "Let me give you another positive energy." Xiao smiled, leaning down to him. Much to Emil's surprised, Xiao kissed his forehead.

"Wha-"

"There, my positive energy for you." The brunette smirked at how red his boyfriend was.

"What did you do that for?!"

"I'm just comforting my boyfriend. Is that wrong?"

"Since when are we a couple?!" Emil protested.

"Since we confessed to each other that day…" Xiao nodded.

"We did not! I don't agree to such thing!"

"Oh Emil, don't lie to yourself."

"Shut it, Xiao!" Xiao dodge his attack, laughing when Emil missed his punch.

It was worth it. The positive energy.

TBC

SO… finally… I continue this… Anyway, if you guys noticed, the positive energy Emil was reading has actually got some more lines to it. It's like a self-motivation thing to motivate yourself to think positive every day. I read it once a day during the morning before I start my work. I myself have some short therapy session with my cousin, he is a specialist of hypnotherapy as well. It's refreshing :D