So, this little piece of crack was born when a guest suggested I write a Ninja Halloween story where Ninja gets lost in a haunted house and Steve has to come to the rescue. I'd already written a Ninja Halloween story, so I thought about doing it with Matt, but everything I came up with was more suited to Ninja. So, my mind started wandering, and this is what I came up with (yes, I'll probably write the Ninja story).

Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Left here, Steve."

"No, right."

"The map says left."

"But you're always supposed to turn right in a maze, Danno."

"Except when you're supposed to turn left!"

"I still say we should turn right."

"Must you be so stubborn, Steve?"

"Who are you going to trust, my superior SEAL training or a map?"

"The map, Steven! The map says left."

"Fine, Danno, we'll go left."

"Um, Steve?"

"Yeah, Danno?"

"Where's our son?"

"In his stroller."

"No, he's not. Weren't you watching him?"

"I thought you were!"

"Never mind who's supposed to be watching him, where is he?"

"Uh, Danno?"

"Yeah, Steve?"

"I think I found him."

Danny followed Steve's pointing finger. Sure enough, there was a small, purple dragon skimming over the top of the corn maze. "Shit," Danny cursed. "Somebody's going to see him! Scratch that, everybody's going to see him!"

"Don't worry, Danno, they'll just think it's a kid wearing a costume."

"Flying?!"

"Maybe they'll think he's some exotic bird."

"Somehow, I don't think so. We have to get him, Steven!"

Danny saw Steve start to shimmer, and grabbed his arm. "Steven, you cannot shift in the middle of a corn maze!"

"Why not? It's the fastest way to get to him."

"Because someone will see you! And we definitely can't pass you off as a bird! Besides, you'll flatten half the maze!"

"So how do you suggest we get him? The corn's too dense to go through in human form, and I left my machete at home."

"Sadly, I know you're not joking. Even more sadly, I actually know where it is."

A shriek interrupted them. Apparently, some poor parent had discovered Matt. Steve started to the right, but Danny grabbed him and pulled him left. "This way!"

Unfortunately, that way led to a dead end. Steve growled in frustration. "We'll never get to him at this rate."

"I don't see him any more. He must have landed."

"I think that was the shriek we heard."

There was a rustling in the corn, and the baby dragon took off again, flying towards them. "Danno! Daddy!"

"Oh, thank goodness,"Danny breathed.

However, instead of stopping, the dragon sailed over their heads into the other side of the maze. "Catch me if you can!"

"Now can I go right?"

"Yes, Steve, now you can go right."

Unfortunately, they hit another dead end. Danny tried to see over the stalks. "I lost him again."

From a few feet in front of them, they heard the squeal of a child. "Doggy!"

"Do you think he's talking about Matt, Danno?"

"I don't know. Lots of people bring their dogs to these things."

"Purple doggy!"

"Yep, definitely Matt." Steve tried to find away out of the corner and failed. "Screw this," he said, shifting halfway.

"Steve! What are you doing?"

"Getting our son."

"You can't just claw through the maze!"

"Why not?"

"What will people think?"

"You know, Danno, right now I really don't care. Right now I just want to get our son."

"You're right. If we're not careful, somebody's going to call animal control to come get the giant iguana in the corn maze. And that's the best case scenario."

Steve slashed at the wall of corn, but even with his claws it was slow going.

"Hurry, Steve, I think he's on the move again!"

They broke through the wall, but Matt was nowhere in sight. "Where'd he go, Steve?"

"Shhh. Let me see if I can sense him. I should have thought of this in the first place."

"I have a better idea. Matthew John McGarrett-Williams, you come here right this very instance."

They heard thrashing through the maze, and a few minutes later a very chastised dragon came slinking through the corn, leaving several rows of flattened stalks behind him.

"Human. Now."

"I'd listen to Danno if I were you."

Matt shifted, looking sheepish. Danny swept him into his arms. "Don't you ever do that again! We were worried about you! Now, let's go home."

They got Matt settled in his stroller and prepared to head back to the entrance.

"Um, Danno?"

"Yeah, Steve?"

"How do we get out of here?"