Cora and Robert during the night after the surgery.

This is set before chapter one but as this is basically a collection of one-shots, I thought it wouldn't matter.

Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I appreciate them all.

Please let me know what you think about this chapter.

Have a great day everyone,

Kat

He wakes up as if from a very deep slumber and the first thing he feels is the aching pain in his head. It feels as if it was literally blinding him. When he thinks that he should open his eyes to find out whether he really is blind his focus shift to his stomach. Never in his life has he felt such a pain in his stomach. It feels as if it had been cut open. Maybe that is somehow connected to the pain in his head. If this is what dying feels like then he wants to die now because he can't stand the pain. Or the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. For a moment he wonders how he knows what blood tastes like but then he remembers that he once went to war. Maybe he still is at war, maybe he has been shot, maybe that is why he is in such pain and maybe that is why he has this taste in his mouth that makes him want to vomit. Which he does the moment he thinks about it.

"Robert," someone says and he is quite sure that 'Robert' is his name. He wants to look up and see who is talking to him but he needs to vomit again and he thinks it is blood.

"Robert, darling," the voice says again and he recognizes the voice. It is that of his wife which means that he isn't in South Africa any longer because his wife certainly did not go there with him. She stayed behind, he is sure of it. She had to stay with the children.

'The children' he thinks and sees flashes of a young woman dying in front of his eyes, writhing in pain because she can't breathe. Sybil. There are two other young women with tears in their eyes. Edith and Mary. His wonderful darling girls. He is sure now he is the father of three wonderful girls. There are two young men in the background of the images flashing across his mind. One, the blond one he is sure, is dead because he feels a terrible pang when he sees him. The other one seems to be coming from far away and somehow his arrival makes him happy. There are also very young children. Grandchildren, he thinks.

He feels a very gentle hand guiding him to lie back again.

"I will tell the nurse to call the doctor," his wife says. As if on cue he opens his eyes and sees the retreating back of his wife but he does not want her to go. If she is the mother of his children then he loves her very much and then he can't let her go.

"Cora," he says and it sounds as if he was rasping. She turns to him and smiles a smile that brightens the room that is lit by a very bright light bulb.

"Darling," she says. "Let me call the nurse and then I will be with you. I won't leave you." He wonders if his wife whose name seems to be Cora, she reacted to him calling her that after all, can read his mind. He hears her talking to the nurse and then as she promised she walks back towards his bed and sits down on the chair that is next to it. When she takes his hand he realizes that she must have been holding it for a long time because once she takes it again he feels as if something had been put to rights. He wants to say something but Cora shakes her head and he thinks that he should listen to her.

"Don't talk darling. Let's wait for the doctor. He will probably ask you a few questions and you'll need your strength then." He nods and feels Cora gently massaging the back of his hand. There is so much love in the gestures that it sends tears to his eyes.

"Lord Grantham," the doctor says and the moment the words leave the doctor's mouth he remembers that he is an earl. The doctor, whom his wife calls 'Dr. Clarkson', asks him a few questions, looks at his stomach, into his mouth and asks Cora for the bowl full of vomit. He only realizes then that it must have been her who held the bowl for him.

"Lord Grantham, do you remember what happened?" He thinks for a moment and then feels himself nod.

"I vomited a lot of blood. I thought I was about to die."

"You won't die, not now," Dr. Clarkson says and out of the corner of his eyes he sees Cora's shoulders slump in relief. "But Lord Grantham, you must step back. Now. You cannot run your estate anymore."

He wants to protest this, he can't give up Downton. But then he sees the pleading look in Cora's eyes and realizes that he'd do anything to make her happy.

"Thank God for Mary and Tom," he says and looks at Cora who gives him a very faint but yet very relieved smile. He tries to return that smile but he is in too much pain.

The doctor says something about a lot of rest and no excitement and Cora says "Of course. Thank you Dr. Clarkson," and the doctor then leaves.

"Did I really vomit blood all over the dining room?" he asks Cora and she nods.

"I think it looks worse than my room after Sybil's birth." He remembers that. They had to repaint everything, get a new bed and new furniture because there had been blood everywhere and the stench of it wouldn't go away. "But don't worry darling, you are fine now," Cora continues and takes his hand in hers again finally. He looks at their joined hands and then back at Cora.

"My mother will scold me for it. She will say something about not having left early enough and embarrassed our guests."

"You also spit blood onto her dress and jewels," Cora says, barely able to contain her laughter.

"That'll make it worse. She'll be complaining about the costs of cleaning."

"No, she won't be complaining about that because she will have Denker do the cleaning. She will then complain to us about Denker complaining to her and how hard it is to find servants who know their place."

He can't help it, he knows it is going to hurt but he starts to laugh and Cora laughs with him. He doesn't know for how long they are laughing but it feels good, despite the pain. Once they have calmed down Cora says "The nurses probably think us mad for laughing after something so horrible has happened."

He shakes his head.

"Even if they do, we shouldn't care. Cora, I thought I was dying but I was given one more chance at life and I mean to grasp it with both hands. I will laugh as much as I please. And I am very glad that you are able to laugh about the whole horrific ordeal as well. It will make the healing much easier."

"I am glad that it helps you."

"Darling, you misunderstood. I meant your healing. It must have been horrible for you."

"It was horrible for all of us," she says and squeezes his hand.

"But you were the one who saw it from the front and you held the cloth I kept vomiting on. I remember that. It probably sounds as if I had read it in one of those terrible medical romance novels, the ones where the doctors end up with the nurses or a patient or I don't know what but I think you holding my head stopped me from losing consciousness. I knew I had to tell you that I loved you and it was hard to get it out but it was something I could concentrate on, something other than the vomiting and the pain."

"I love you too," Cora now says, leans towards him and gives him a kiss on the lips.

"I promise to see a doctor as soon as I am in pain again," he says because that is what he knows Cora needs to hear and she does not deserve to have to ask for a promise like this. Not after last night and after laughing with him the way she did.

"Thank you," she says and again he can see the relief in her face.

"I will spend more time with you. I don't want to spend the last years of my life worrying about an estate that can be run by our daughter and son-in-law. I'd much rather be with you."

Cora smiles at this again and he vows to make her smile every day. He wonders how much pain she has been through in her life because of him.

"I am very glad about that. And judging by your mother's age, we have several decades left."

"And at the end of them we will terrorize Mary and Tom and their children by sitting on the sofa and complaining that they are not doing things 'properly' and that in my grandfather's time things were very different and much better."

This makes Cora laugh again and he is so very glad to hear her laughter but he also feels very tired.

"Go to sleep darling," Cora says at almost that moment.

"Will you stay?" he asks her.

"Of course my love," she says and he feels her hand gently brushing across his cheek, reassuring him that they really do have decades left to spend together.