Wow.. 5k... eh.. there's probably gonna be an epilogue for this..

"Please! Spare me!"

"I have a family!"

"Don't! Don't!"

Tsuna shot up, his face sweaty. Panting heavily, he tried to rid himself of the bloody, vivid nightmare he saw. A frown formed on his face.

He never wanted to be Vongola Decimo. Reborn forced him onto this duty, and then he, Tsuna, forced his friends into the mafia world.

His pale hand formed a tight fist on the blanket. His friends couldn't go through the murderous events. Especially Yamamoto and Sasagawa. They weren't part of the mafia until Reborn came around. ( Hibari too, of course.. but he most likely would be able to go through a murder... being part of the Disciplinary Committee and all.. )

It wasn't easy to confront this.. reoccurring nightmare... to them. Anytime he would have tried, something went in the way of it, causing him to forget or drop it. Like he wasn't meant to tell. Eyes softening, he released his tight grip. His whitened hand slowly returned back to its regular color; was beginning to hurt anyway. Reborn was away on a side mission from Nono, and was allowed to postpone his tutoring. Normally, Reborn would decline every other mission given from Nono, but apparently this time it was important business.

Tsuna sighed, and glanced at the time.

7:04 AM.

He wasn't exactly late for school.. was he? It didn't matter. It wasn't like he was going to try and be early. He wasn't even going to go back to sleep after 'witnessing' the sixth boss murdering an innocent person with a triumphant look on his face and his subordinates snickering and—Tsuna felt a shiver down his spine for a second. No. Get it out of your mind.

Slipping on his uniform, he made his way down the stairs, surprisingly not tripping like he normally would. His mother was awake, like she always was.

The brunette held a cheerful smile on her face as she set down a plate of breakfast for him. As she was humming to herself, she turned to see him. Shocked for a moment, she stopped humming. Nana quickly regained her composure and her smile was quickly back on her face. Tsuna almost hadn't noticed her shocked expression, truthfully.

"Tsu-kun, you're up early," she murmured. He smiled back, and took a seat.

Lambo, Fuuta, and I-Pin were already eating. Lambo tried to steal some of I-Pin's food, which failed, and caused the two five-year-olds to run around the house in the sudden game of tag. Fuuta was watching quietly, before getting up and resolving the conflict. The nine-year-old then told them to finish eating, to which the younger children complied to.

He suddenly remembered seeing an innocent person die by the hands of the second Vongola boss, making him lose his appetite. He frowned again, but tried to eat.

"Tsu-kun, is something the matter?" Nana asked. Tsuna knew she eventually would. Somehow, a mother knew everything, but the one thing she didn't know of was the mafia.

Nana was a smart woman, a bit dense at certain moments in time, but to not be aware of the mafia for all these years was a bit of a feat. He understood why his father kept her out of it—once she knew she wouldn't go back—but wouldn't it have been better to let her be aware? Or maybe she knew the whole time, but pretended not to.

"I.. I'm fine, kaa-san," he managed, swallowing a lump in his throat.

Nana frowned, but nodded.

"Tsu-kun, if anything bothers you, you let me know, okay?"

Tsuna paused. He wanted to confront her and tell her about his fears and his doubts, his troubles, his complaints, everything, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't possibly endanger his mother.

"Okay.." he said quietly. Nana then smiled, and ruffled his hair. That, made Tsuna feel at ease, despite the fact he didn't prefer her to do it anymore. Although he still lost his appetite, he tried to at least eat toast ( to not worry her ) as he went out the door.

Yamamoto and Sasagawa were on a morning jog together, something they began to do now and then, and noticed him. Tsuna simply waved and continued on his way, leaving the athletic teens baffled. Honestly, he wasn't in the mood to ever explain what caused him to be up this early, and.. maybe if he tried to study for today's test he would get it off his mind.

In the class, he set his bag down, and finally realized how many days it had been since he returned from the future. It had only been three days since he came back from the future. Tsuna slumped in his seat, forgetting about the option to study. Was the future him doing okay? Was he.. still alive? Could that bullet have been a real one? The brunet shook his head, dismissing the thought.

"Tsuna-kun?" turning his head, he saw Kyoko and Hana looking over at him, concerned.

"You're usually pumped up whenever Kyoko calls you," Hana remarked, "and you're never at school early."

"Is something the matter?"

Hana suddenly commented to herself she was getting worried for a stupid monkey, but still stayed, curious. She wasn't part or aware of the mafia.. was she?

Tsuna only gave a strained smile and set his head down, tired. He could tell Kyoko still frowned. Hana probably rose an eyebrow. He didn't care right now. Right now, he wasn't feeling good. He felt like throwing up his breakfast, even though he barely ate.

"Jyuuuuudaiiiiimeee!"

And that made him feel worse. A hand clasping his mouth, he stood up, but the nausea suddenly left him.

"The baseball-freak said you went to school early today, and that you didn't look well," he said quickly, and to Tsuna, he hardly caught it because his thoughts began to slur, "Jyuudaime, you really don't look well. He was right."

Gokudera's tone was surprisingly stern. And then it reminded him of when he first saw the future Gokudera, his eyes longing and full of grief. The nausea flew back to him.

"I.. I'm fine.. give me... a moment.." he stammered, trying hard to not let his words slur.

Unfortunately, his body wasn't cooperating with him as he suddenly found himself collapsing. The three students were calling his name in worry, and for a moment he almost thought he heard Gokudera call him by his name, rather than Jyuudaime. Defeated and exhausted, he closed his eyes.

.

Tsuna weakly opened his eyes to a white ceiling. Suddenly aware of what happened, he jerked up, but immediately regretted it. Everything spanned for a moment before he looked down, the dizziness slowly going away.

"Tsuna?"

It was Yamamoto.

"Tsuna-kun?"

Kyoko..?

"J-Jyuudaime, is something the matter?"

Gokudera.. too?

He finally looked up, seeing their worried faces along with Hana's expressionless stare. He was in the infirmary, he figured. There was no way he was at home or at a hospital, for sure. He simply passed out.

"I'm fine.. I was-"

"Sawada, just shut up," came the voice of Hana. Tsuna widened his eyes in surprise for a moment, "you're obviously not feeling well if you decided to come to school early, look pale, and then collapse minutes after arriving to the school."

The brunet bit his lip.

"Kurokawa, I'm fine. I was... just.. really tired from studying last night," he lied, surprised it came out smoothly.

Hana rose an eyebrow, before shrugging.

"Well, I'm guessing that's true since your grades have been getting better."

He sighed in relief, ready to get out of the bed. Tsuna was not going to worry his friends. Gokudera had stopped him, claiming he needed more rest, but Tsuna protested. He wasn't going to rest or worry anyone.

Because... every time he slept, the bloody nightmares would return.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Nezu handed back the tests from last week, and belittled him once more, although his test grade was a 63 instead of the low 18s or 27s. But Tsuna was glad he was doing better, at least. Maybe Reborn's tutoring had worked, along with the extra studying he began to do ( although it was meant to clear his mind.. ).

He said he would walk home, but then his friends protested once again. The brunet had an extremely hard time convincing Gokudera, Sasagawa, and Yamamoto, and eventually did, using a stern tone ( to which he later felt guilty about ).

When Tsuna arrived home, everything ached. Going up the stairs was hard; he had to pause every now and then from the sore feeling. By the time he made it to his room, he collapsed to his bed. A soft sigh escaped his lips. It was suddenly a hard day, when it was suppose to be like every other day. He then glanced at the ring on his finger.

The Vongola Ring.

The Original Vongola Ring.

This.. this was what caused him the change in his life. Was he to be grateful for it? He had gained friends in the process of putting them in danger in the end. His current life hardly had anything to do with killing or being assassinated, so far.

Perhaps he was taking it for granted as he complained.

But this wasn't what he wanted. Tsuna didn't want his future decided for him. He thought about wanting to see where things would take him, if he had endured the bullying, the suffering, and see what could have come out of all of it. The mafia simply meant he couldn't be free. He wouldn't be able to do anything like he would be able to before.

Hand forming into a fist, he released it a moment after.

Had he failed Primo, thinking these thoughts? Primo trusted him greatly. His.. his grandfather gave him the option to destroy the Vongola if he wanted to, but wouldn't that destroy what his grandfather had at first? Could he change the Vongola for the better? Maybe. The bloody famiglia was once a vigilante group helping the innocent and weak. Secondo was the one who changed it.

"Tsuna!" Lambo exclaimed, jumping onto his stomach ( making Tsuna groan ), "You're back!"

The brunet paused. Lambo didn't ask him for grape candy? That was his first thought when Lambo came in the room. And normally, he was right.

"Tsuna, is that future gon'na happen?" Lambo suddenly asked, his voice quiet and not obnoxious like it normally was.

...what? His eyes narrowed for a moment, baffled.

"Lambo-san doesn't want Dame-Tsuna to die because Lambo-san... Lambo-san loves Tsuna-nii," the boy said, soon sobbing into the brunet's shirt.

Tsuna was taken aback, truthfully. Was this really Lambo, the five-year-old who wailed for candy every day, the lousy child who was hardly polite... the child who was his Lightning Guardian? He honestly expected a complain about I-Pin, but perhaps he began to mature since the future.

"Lambo-san wants Dame-Tsuna to take Lambo-san to the amusement park with everyone soon.. Lambo-san wants to be with Dame-Tsuna!"

...well, he was still referred as no-good, but that didn't necessarily bother him. He grew to rather enjoy the five-year-old's presence in due time. The child's crazy motives engraved smiles onto his face during his troubles. The boy was truly like a younger brother.

Tsuna wrapped his arms around the green-eyed boy, soothing the child.

"It's okay, Lambo. It's not going to happen," he said, and Tsuna really meant it. He was not going to let that future happen. Mafia boss or not. A soft smile made a way to his lips. Lambo had a way of putting a smile to one's face sometimes.

"Ah, Tsuna-nii!" Fuuta called out, smiling brightly. The nine-year-old glanced at the five-year-old in his arms, a pout forming on his face. "Lambo, you shouldn't have ran away like that!"

The five-year-old's green eyes looked at Fuuta. He jumped out of the embrace and ran out the room, "Fuuta! Catch me!"

Tsuna sighed. And just when he was about to give the boy a grape candy. And.. wasn't he crying? Well, it's okay, he figured. He forgot about the whole mafia business, at least.

Fuuta waved at him, and then went after Lambo.

Tsuna laid back down, exhausted once more. He really lost it after Lambo jumped on him, but he knew he had to stay awake for him. Fighting back the fatigue like defending from an attack was wearing him out, and slowly, he closed his eyes.

.

"Tsuna-nii! Maman wants you to-" the voice of the nine-year-old stopped, "Tsuna-nii, are you okay? Your face looks pale.."

A strained smile was all he gave.

"I'm fine, Fuuta. I just had a.. weird dream.." he said quietly. It was technically the truth, anyway.

Fuuta frowned.

"If you don't feel good I can bring dinner up for you."

"No.. It's fine.. I'll be down in a moment."

When the nine year old left, the brunet clutched his forehead. The boss's fork managed to kill a person. Just how was that logical? How did he emit flames from a fork?! Sweat trickled down his face. The dreams were getting bloodier. He knew that.

His heart ached. What if that was him one day, murdering someone with a smirk on his face?

His breath hitched, unable to comprehend it. Tsuna was going to hyperventilate if he didn't get himself together. He was going to pass out if he kept breathing so fast. Free hand clutching his shirt where his heart would be, Tsuna forced himself to calm down.

He wasn't going to have Fuuta come back again; the nine-year-old didn't have to know about this. He may be aware of the mafia at his age, but the boy didn't need to know of his fears. He did not want to scare the child.

Finally calm, he released his grips on his forehead and his shirt. Attempting to stand up, he suddenly flopped onto the floor. As he tried to get up, he hoped to himself no one would come, and assumed he just tripped like he normally would.

Making his way down the stairs, he sighed in relief when he noticed his mother put down a plate for him, and the younger children were already finished eating, by the looks of the empty plates.

"I figured you were coming a bit later. Fuuta said you had just awoken from a nap," Nana said softly, but then a frown formed on her delicate face, "Tsu-kun, have you been getting enough rest or nourishment?"

The brunet blinked in confusion. What was she talking about? Of course he did.. er.. not as much rest but he felt fine.

"You're getting pale and you look skinnier now.." she said slowly. "Is something bothering you? Are you feeling sick?"

Tsuna gulped. It wasn't that he wasn't eating.. after some time he'd just vomit what he ate after a bloody death entered his mind.

"Kaa-san.. I'm fine. I've just felt a little lightheaded for the past few days.."

Nana kept her frown, and then placed her cold hand on his forehead.

"Tsu-kun, if you still feel warm tomorrow, I don't think you should go to school."

Tsuna paused. No. He'd rather be in the prison everyone calls called school. Sleeping would just eventually make him insomniac because he would be haunted by those nightmares. He shook his head.

"I'm really fine.. kaa-san," and then his stomach rumbled, making him blush furiously. A smile made a way to her face.

"I guess that means you really are okay, if you're that hungry," she teased. Nana turned to the table and picked up the empty plates.

Tsuna sat down and began to eat, thinking about schoolwork.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Good afternoon, Jyuudaime! How are you feeling?" Gokudera asked.

"Yo, Tsuna! Feeling better?"

"How do you feel to the extreme, Sawada!"

Tsuna could only nod, a small smile creeping onto his face. They seemed to have 'bumped' into each other on the day with no school. He was fine with that, and the fact they asked.. but he didn't intend to worry them. Yamamoto had the baseball team to catch up with, and Sasagawa had to manage the boxing club. Gokudera had mafia business to watch over now and then, by orders of Reborn. He couldn't get in their way of anything. It.. it wasn't right. It would be selfish.

"Tsuna-kun, are you sure you're okay?"

He immediately turned to the voice of Kyoko. Since when did she get here.. and behind him?! Hana was beside her, like she usually was. Her blank expression made him cringe. He only frowned, not liking where this went.

They didn't need to care. They didn't need to worry. He only passed out once. It wasn't like he was going to get killed. Tsuna's brown eyes averted from all the eyes staring at him. He was getting uncomfortable. The brunet ignored Gokudera's sudden questioning moments after Kyoko asked, and sighed softly.

"I just want to be alone, I'm sorry," he said softly.

"If.. If that's what you want, Jyuudaime."

The retreating sound of footsteps only made him feel uneasy. Should he really have done that? His friends cared for him.

But they wouldn't acknowledge him if Reborn never came, and Gokudera would never have transferred here.

Tears slid down his cheek. What would distancing himself from them do? He was an idiot. He was Dame-Tsuna. If Reborn were here, he probably would've been knocked out by Leon.

Oh.. it was raining.

He didn't feel like putting his hood on. His hair stuck to his face, and his tears probably camouflaged with the rain. Tsuna began walking down the streets of Namimori, wanting to clear his mind.

And he sneezed.

He sneezed again.

Great. He probably caught a cold. Just what he needed. A way to let him be haunted by staying home to rest.

"Tsuna-kun, are you sure you're okay?"

What? Didn't Kyoko just say that to him not long ago? And.. why didn't he feel the rain on him? He glanced up, noticing her carrying an umbrella. Did she follow him? The thought subsided as something caught his attention. Her eyes. Her eyes made him uncomfortable. The worrying gaze he didn't want to see. She was asking him how he was again.

Why? Why bother? He averted his gaze once again. Should he really tell her, like he told her of the mafia?

"K-Kyoko..chan.. I.." the words caught up in his throat. That's right... he was afraid to tell anyone his fear. That's why he told no one.

"Kill them, kill them now."

His eyes widened in fear. No. No. No. Don't kill her. Don't kill his friends! Pull yourself together, Tsuna. You're confusing the past with the present. The brunet ran his hands through his soaked hair. No. He couldn't pull himself together. Kyoko's exclaims of worry couldn't even help him snap out.

The brunet nearly screamed, but he didn't. Nothing would come out. What was wrong with him?! He shouldn't be like this.. Why him? Why did these nightmares like to torture him? Hot tears steamed from his eyes once more like an audience demanding an encore. He couldn't take it.

"Tsuna-kun.. Tsuna-kun!"

Kyoko was shaking him. He opened his eyes, his hands releasing the grasps on his hair. She was wet, too. She must have dropped the umbrella while shaking him.

"K-Kyoko-chan.. I'm sorry.. I.. have to go.." he stammered. He forgot Kyoko was there. As he was about to turn and go home, she grabbed his wrist. He turned his head, seeing her serious eyes.

"Something's.. bothering you, isn't it?"

Jackpot.

"Is it.. Is it the future?" she asked slowly.

Tsuna didn't want to answer. He yanked his wrist away from her grasp.

"Kyoko-chan, I'm sorry," he said quietly, not meeting her gaze.

He ran off, like the coward he was.

Because he was Dame-Tsuna, the no-good idiot who didn't deserve friends.

.

"Tsu-kun, welcome home! How was your.. Go change your clothes before you catch a cold!" Nana ordered sternly.

.

He was suppose to be Vongola Decimo. He was the teen who defeated Byakuran. He was the one who endangered his friends' lives. A hand ran through his hair. It was a lot to think of when he thought of it all now. Was that the reason of his newfound trauma, to confirm what he wants to do?

Tsuna grumbled. Yeah, and it was the Vongola bosses who had the idea to torment him. Nice thinking, Tsuna. He knew he shouldn't jump to conclusions. The brunet casted another glance at the ring. The bosses' wills were in this ring. Could they manifest themselves like Primo once did?

He was curious, but knew he wouldn't get an answer.

"Jyuudaime, something is wrong, and we know it," the storm guardian confronted, his green eyes staring deeply into his brown ones.

"Kyoko told us what happened to the extreme yesterday," Sasagawa murmured, speaking softer than usual.

Tsuna sighed.

"Tsuna, why're you hiding something from us?" Yamamoto asked, frowning.

He averted his gaze. They didn't have to know. They didn't need to know of his worries that were perhaps considered silly. They didn't need to know what kind of bloody visions he saw. They didn't need to know he started getting cut between his regular life and the role he was forced to take.

He blinked away the forming tears. The brunet was not going to admit anything. Besides... would they even understand?

"I'm just not getting enough sleep, that's all," he said quietly. Since when could I lie so easily?!

Gokudera narrowed his eyes dangerously. A drop of sweat slid down Tsuna's face. Did he see through the lie? Yamamoto peered at him curiously, before eventually shrugging, buying the lie. His eyes seemed to have say the opposite, though. Sasagawa stayed quiet, much to his surprise. He was normally loud, and now he was extremely quiet.

"Jyuudaime, if you say so," the storm guardian said in defeat. "Would you like us to.. walk home with you?"

He noticed the teen was trying out a different phrase rather than 'escorting him home.' Tsuna nodded, and bit back his words. No.. It's okay.. He was probably being selfish in wanting them to be with him, even for a mere five minutes, but he wanted comfort from a few friends by his side.

Until when he got home, he began a furious coughing fit and felt lightheaded.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Tsuna woke up to a throbbing headache. He clutched his forehead in pain. It hurts.. a lot..

After he had the furious coughing fit he passed out just moments after. Was this an after effect? He remembered pairs of eyes staring at him when he regained conscious, and Bianchi had returned from wherever she went. Wherever she went, wasn't his business.

As he tried to get out of bed, he found himself nearly collapsing. He slipped on to the wooden floor as he tried to get up.

"Tsu-kun, it's time to-" his mother nearly shrieked before finishing the sentence, rushing over to him. A loud thud was then heard.

"Tsu-kun, what's wrong?"

Tsuna knew admitting it all to her would be selfish, after all, it was his father who wanted to keep her safe. He did too, of course, but.. could he really keep it in? Or.. was she asking about the fall? Probably both, he decided in the end.

"I don't.. I don't feel so good," he then murmured, his voice weak and tired. Maybe he really should stay home. Not from the fall. He felt sick. Really sick.

His eyes wearily looked up to her, her eyes saying it all. I'll call the school.

Tsuna didn't care anymore. He didn't care that there was a bloody vision just waiting for him. His clouded mind couldn't even remember it. Right now, he was dizzy and felt like vomiting. It was cold. The brunet found himself shivering furiously. How was it this cold? It was only the start of autumn, wasn't it? It was still warm out.

Stumbling back into his bed, he paused. If Reborn found out he got sick he probably would've had some crazy idea to get him better immediately. The brunet stifled a chuckle. As much as he would hate that, he knew Reborn would do something to force him back into shape.

He then frowned. Reborn was a hitman, wasn't he? That meant he killed people.. witnessed others murder.. and probably didn't care. Tsuna was afraid. Would he become like that too in due time, if he were to accept being Decimo?

"Decimo," a stern voice called. The brunet shrieked. Her voice reminded him of Lal Mirch from the future when she would yell at him.

The brunet shot up, scanning his room, but there was no one.

"We have been sensing your distress for a while," said a male voice.

This voice... sounded eerily like one of the Vongola bosses. Hieeee!

Tsuna immediately glanced at the sudden dim glow on his ring.

He admitted it. He was beyond terrified. He knew if they knew what he thought they'd.. they'd be disappointed in him.

There was a sudden appearance of sky flames in his room, focusing on one area. Slowly, it revealed to be one of the Vongola bosses' wills. The brunet stammered back to the wall, squeezing his eyes shut in fear.

He was probably going to die.

He was going to be a disappointment.

He failed his great-great-great-great grandfather's original legacy.

A warm hand rested on his shoulder. The brunet stopped trembling, and hesitantly opened his eyes. Was he hallucinating? Was this fever or cold or whatever it was playing with his mind? The brunet gulped and bit back a shriek.

Vongola Primo was staring at him.

"What seems to be troubling you, Decimo?"

Primo...?

Tsuna knew he couldn't lie. This man held enough wisdom in those orange eyes from decades of being in the ring. The founder of Vongola had Hyper Intuition; obviously, he couldn't lie to him. He couldn't lie to his ancestor, his grandfather. This was his will. The will that was in the ring he was wearing.

He had a somewhat regal aura to him. Demanding, yet.. yet not like the other bosses. The other bosses were arrogant, rude, and hardly showed compassion from what he saw. He was.. different.

And then he smiled, those eyes softening.

The brunet trembled once more, biting back another shriek.

"Am I that frightening, Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

And then he made eye contact. His fear rose to the fact he said his name, and the fact his eyes were full of compassion. Did he know?

"I.. No! Its.. it's not that.. Primo.." Tsuna mentally hit himself. A mafia boss shouldn't stutter, Dame-Tsuna. Reborn's words echoed in his mind. He was stuttering in front of Primo.

The first Vongola boss simply waited for him to continue, not saying anything.

And then Tsuna confessed everything. The brunet finally reached his limit. He couldn't hold it in anymore. To the point that the Vongola bosses finally made their move, and the fact even they were worried.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. Now, he didn't care if he was crying in front of his ancestor. He didn't care if the other Vongola bosses witnessed it. Everyone had a limit, and so did he.

Primo sat beside him, listening to the boy's sobbing.

"You have been exposed to those deaths young. It's no wonder you began to fear such a thing," Primo began quietly, "Perhaps it was our fault for you to be forced on such a duty at this age. My deepest apologies, Decimo."

He had no reason to apologize.. it wasn't his fault, Tsuna thought. Lambo and I-Pin were five-year-olds that already knew of the mafia... after all.

"Even so.. I believe you are able to change it for the better," Primo finished.

The brunet glanced at his ancestor. Orange eyes looked back. And for perhaps the first time since he had returned from the future, he felt relief. He saw the complete trust in his grandfather's eyes. He trusted him. He.. He probably knew that he would be okay. It was his choice, after all... to continue the Vongola, or to destroy it. He was the next heir. He was the next person to rule.

And suddenly, it felt like a weight off his shoulders.

Drowsiness began to overwhelm him. He struggled to keep his eyes open. Primo stood up, and his translucent figure began to disintegrate into sky flames. The brunet unconsciously leaned over, laying on the bed.

"Arrivederci, Decimo."

That almost went unheard by the young Decimo, as a peaceful slumber awaited him.

Thank you, ojii-san.