How long had it been since I last checked on those two? I snickered as I walked towards the shore, my shoes kicking up sand even though I was sure that I was being careless. I smiled lightly as I saw two figures on a tree, one happy-go-lucky and the other brooding and deep in thought. I could only do one thing; shake my head. They were best friends, yet they were so different from each other as well. One of them was so light hearted and never thought too much into things unless necessary while the other was mysterious and always thinking, constantly waging an internal battle. My thoughts drifted towards the taller, older one of the two. Riku. My heart reached out to him, especially since the incident occurred and I know he had been forgiven, even if he didn't believe it himself. I continued towards them, eventually making it and hoisting myself upon the tree branch beside Riku.

His silver hair glinted in the moonlight as it swayed back and forth in the light breeze. I stared at him a while, his aquamarine eyes fixed straight ahead of him, seemingly focused on something of greater importance. That was until I poked him affectionately. "Hey."

He turned to me, his eyes disturbed and bothered by my interruption. "Oh, I thought you were Tidus."

"No." I grinned playfully. I leaned on his shoulder, resting my hands in my lap. "Riku, is something the matter? You seem so distant again."

"Nothing is wrong, Kairi." His voice was impassive as if trying to hide from me what he felt.

"I wish you'd stop lying to me." I whispered. I still cared for him whether he thought so or not. "You're still my friend Riku. I still love you anyway."

"It's not that…"He trailed off. He seemed distraught as his eyes focused anywhere but my face. He even seemed upset.

I cupped his face in my hands. "Riku, you're nineteen years old. What happened between you and Sora was so long ago. Sora has forgiven you."

"I know, but it doesn't seem like…I don't know." He looks away from me, his face hidden by his massive silver locks. "Kairi, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Tell Sora goodnight for me?" I nodded. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Night Kairi."

I watched him go and realized that I could never love him the way he had wished for me to long ago. I would always love him as a friend, a brother, but my heart belonged to someone else and had been taken years ago, when I was a young girl. And here he was now. I followed his footsteps as he neared the shore, his sapphire eyes reflecting in the silver light that cascaded from the heavens above us. He appeared oblivious to my presence, for he bounded up the path, energetically as usual, with his hands full of food—fruit mainly. I shifted my gaze back to the ocean water while I waited his acknowledgement of me, noting the calmness of the misty breezes that flowed past me. Once he had arrived—he had gasped audibly at Riku's absence—I nodded to him, my eyes once again returning to the view in front of me. "Hello Sora."

"Where's Riku?" He asked in concern.

"He went to sleep. He said goodnight, too" I stated plainly as I continued to look in front of me. I patted the spot next to me. "Come sit with me for a while, Sora. It's still too early to go to bed."

He obeyed quickly. After he had sat down, I glanced at him, eventually allowing my gaze to linger longer on his tender features. How I adored that spiky brown hair of his that could never be tamed by anything or anyone. And his sapphire eyes…sometimes I wished they'd read my own and not leave me in the dark. Ever since the incident, Sora seemed less carefree than before, but then again, he was eighteen now and who would be so jumpy and crazy like they were when children? I could only wrap my sweater tighter about myself to answer that question. My eyes did not leave him though. They traveled beyond what he might think I'd seen, normally. There were times—very much like this one—where I resisted the temptation of reaching out and running my fingers along his pale skin, caressing it and feeling him next to me. Yes, Riku was the epitome of an ethereal angel on earth, as beautiful as seraphim in heaven; but for me, Sora was more than that.

To me, Sora was a dark beauty from below, like those "bad boys" people see on television or in action movies. And the funniest part was that Sora's personality was the exact opposite of that while Riku's was anything but angelic. They were like electrons and protons; complete opposites. I sighed internally as I sat silently next to my best friend, attempting to ignore his very masculine and intoxicating presence, which did not help when he smelled of ocean water and musk, a favorite scent of mine lately. I took a quick peek at him from the side; his eyes were closed, head lifted appreciatively to the sky above. I sighed again as I stared at him unashamedly, drinking in his appearance and fragile beauty. How can you do this to me, Sora?

I could never understand why he tortured me this way, everyday, since he returned from sealing the keyholes and saving King Mickey. Now here he was again, like every other night, clad in his simple black pants and tank top type shirt---that did not cover his arms at all—with his hair tousled and messy, and smelling like Egyptian musk and vanilla. He was driving me insane. But in my heart, I knew my attraction was deeper than that of a physical nature, though I'd be a liar to say I didn't want him right then and there. I cringed as his hand touched my bare shoulder since my sweater had fallen sometime during my inner pondering, hanging loosely on my arms. I made no sign to respond, in some strange way, I was awaiting his reaction. I shivered slightly as his hand trailed further, rubbing my back affectionately. "You're cold."

"I was." I blurted out without thinking. I blushed deeply. "It's late Sora. We should be heading back."

"Yeah. We should."

That was two nights ago. Now I'm here, stargazing out the window, hanging over my rail while the moon's pale beams reflect off my auburn hair, tinting it silver like Riku's. I see Riku sitting by the shore again, but I don't bother to converse with him as he seems deep in thought, as usual. I change my glance to the other side of the shore. Tidus and Selphie are sitting on the dock, whispering into each others ears whatever nonsense it is that they always talk about while Wakka tends to his—well, I don't know what he tends to most of the time. My head droops slightly as I watch the waves crash upon the sand, shading it a darker brown than before. My hands cling to the blanket wrapped around me, tightening it, for the mornings may be warm, but the nights are quite chilly. And I stare. I stare mindlessly at the person walking towards my little section of the tree house, his pace steady but determined. I scrunch back to the wall in hopes to conceal myself, that he may leave, but when I hear the ladder creak, I know he is staying. I snuggle further under my blanket, shielding my entire body except for my eyes; I need those to see him.

"Hey Kairi. Why are you all alone up here?" He asks tenderly.

"I was…tired, I guess." I lie expertly. I smile. "Why aren't you practicing with Riku?"

"Riku's busy thinking, as usual." I hear the sarcasm in his voice, but it is small in quantity. "Can I join you? It's pretty cold out there and your blanket looks warm."

"Sora you lazy bum, go get your blanket!" I laugh as he forcefully opens my blanket and jumps in with me, immediately relishing its warmth with his body. "Sora!"

"It's so warm and fuzzy!" He chuckles playfully. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've shared it sooner."

I stop laughing momentarily at his comment. "Because I didn't think you'd want to share it with me." DAMMIT! Why do I keep doing that? I must look like some weirdo right now.

Either he missed my implications or he is ignoring them because he nods and continues to chuckle madly, rambling on about fuzzy blankets and greedy friends. I rest my head to his shoulder; it is all I can do to satisfy this insatiable hunger I have of him. I am drifting off to sleep when I hear footsteps coming our way. Riku. He stands in the doorway, illuminated by the silver moon, angelic as always in his appearance and he doesn't even know it. He walks over and joins us, lying on my other side, snuggling in the blankets as we three stare at the stars above us. "Did you guys forget about me?"

"No." Sora says cheerfully. "You just seemed deep in thought. I didn't want t interrupt you."

"That's a valid excuse." Riku laughs then looks at me, his cerulean eyes bright. "And what about you Kairi? No excuse? Or at least not a good one?"

I shake my head. "Nope. You caught me." I smirk as I look at anyone but him or Sora. Especially Sora. Before I know it, Riku is fast asleep and it is just Sora and I again. I nod to him and motion for Sora to get up. "Hey Sora, can you go with me for a walk?" Am I CRAZY? A walk with him alone? Oh yes, that's JUST what I need right now when I want to pounce him like fresh meat!

"Sure Kairi." He says as we walk away from Riku, leaving him to his peaceful slumber, one that he has not had in many years.

As we walk down the shore, I feel as though we've been doing this for ages long ago. When he stops suddenly, I bump into his back and give him a questioning look. He points to the Papou tree. "Let's go sit down Kairi. My feet hurt."

We proceed to the Papou tree steadily, but my head spins a bit when I look back and see the secret lace concealed by the various palm like leaves and vegetation growing in front of it. I remember. I remember everything I am trying to forget and stumble my way to sit down beside Sora who is already seated and waiting for me. I observe him again—like I always do—and take in his handsome features. What torments me more this time is that he is only in his swimming trunks and a tank top, but I figure that it is not so bad since I am not clad so appropriately for the weather. I am for today's morning weather, but not the night as I sit next to him in my skort, slip-on shoes and my turtleneck—glad I wore that. What I forget is that he doesn't think of me the way I do him, so I suppose it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. He smiles a friendly smile at me; I wish I could return it, but I can't--I feel more than that.

"Sora," I begin timidly, "What were your adventures like when you were saving King Mickey?"

It is like magic. His face turns to stone in a matter of seconds and he looks away. "Kairi…"

"I didn't mean to upset you Sora!" I protest as I grab his face between my hands, stroking his cheeks. I don't want him to have to cry again. "But I need to know…I need to know about Riku…I need to know about you, Sora."

He pushes my hands away. "No Kairi. I don't want to talk about it anymore!"

"Sora…" I trail helplessly though I am determined not to give up. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are." Sora snaps as he stands to leave. I make no effort to stop him, for he is angry with me and I'm not prepared for another scolding from him. "Goodnight Kairi."

I twist and turn in bed; my head full of horrible visions that drive me mad in my sleep. Sora. I thrash wildly, trying desperately to remove the covers, which seem to be strangling me in my sleep, but I can't find a part to grab. Finally I bolt up from my dream. My eyes dart around my room frantically, searching for something, someone to comfort me in my loneliness. One person comes to mind, but he is far from me now, sleeping peacefully—I'm sure of it—in his house on the other side of the island. It feels somewhat strange to have Riku sleeping in my little house, in the next room, yet I am glad that he is not screaming like he does all the other nights he has been here with Selphie and Tidus. They are in the same room as him, and Tidus is snoring loudly. I realize that I cannot sleep and head to my balcony rail to see the ocean as I always do when sleep doesn't befall me. Usually it puts me to sleep right away, but tonight it refuses me that luxury and I sigh mentally. And if my magic, I hear song lyrics float to my ears, a song I kept hearing when Riku was gone.

In a sense, it also reminded me of Sora, but now it reminded me more of Riku--except for the forever in your eyes part, which I'm still uncertain on. Because where Sora, would never tell me anything and would act happy like nothing had happened—and he still does--Riku would never tell Sora or me. Yes, he acted strange and I knew he was bothered or upset but I never knew why. I sigh again as I remember his reaction to my question. I never meant to upset him, but how could I not ask? I needed so desperately to know what had occurred that—even after all these years—would make my friends still act like strangers sometimes. Not that I was stupid. I knew what happened involving me, but what happened involving THEM? What happened between THEM two? That was my major question. Sadly, sometimes I feel alone because they avoid each other or act really buddy-buddy, which also puzzles me. Often times, I find myself wandering back here to my little spot, every now and then torn between whom I should really love. Yes, I decided long ago that I could not love Riku the way I love Sora, but there are times when I question whether I love one more or both equally. It seems that certain times, I could stay with Riku forever, lost in his embrace. Then other times, I feel like I could melt into Sora's arms, stay with him forever.

And I realized sometime ago that I knew why I couldn't choose right away or the main reason I was having such a hard time. They are both beautiful, but their personalities are quite different. Riku, with his silver hair, is a mysterious, passionate person and I think he'd make a great partner or he seems determined in what he wants. He also is somewhat intense, rough and interesting to talk to—very dominating in anything. But then there is Sora, sweet, kind, tender, and extremely romantic. He is so easy-going and easy to talk to, and loves to play around a lot. I feel like with Sora, I can be whomever I want. They're both so wonderful. But whom do I love? I've thought about it numerous times such as morning when I wake up, mid afternoon when I'm at the beach—now as I sit on the balcony too. I walk over to the door and take a peek at Riku. He is lying stilly on the bed, sheets half covering him in his slumber, his silhouette a marvelous perpetual vision before my very eyes. It's like seeing heaven. Unfortunately, that is where it ends, and I know I cannot linger longer for if he wakes, I will not be able to explain my actions. I turn away, leaving the sleeping angel to his rest, hoping his haunting memories will allow him at least one peaceful night of rest before his torment resumes again tomorrow or some other time.

I must be insane. I find myself walking, treading my feet through the sand on the shore. I stop a little ways into the water, the cool liquid lapping at my ankles. Funny, it's sort of warm for this time of night. Involuntarily, I open my mouth and words flow out like melted chocolate.I don't even know what I'm singing, but the melody is beautiful and I continued singing to the empty space surrounding me.

"Kairi, it' really late."

"What are you doing here?" I shriek in surprise as I spin around and see Sora staring at me, his beautiful cobalt eyes interrogating.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Sora smirks knowingly. He begins to walk over, his strides short because of his long slender legs. Did I mention they are very toned? "It's 3:00 in the morning. Any particular reason as to why you're up so late?"

Why lie? I give him a defeated look before staring back at the endless ocean. "Sora, have you ever wondered why people fall in love? And more so, have you ever wondered why people don't fall in love?"

"What brought this on?" He chuckles, but at my serious face, he nods and turns away to stare at the ocean with me. "Well, I can't really say. I've never…been in love. I imagine it would be because that person needs the other person to be with, everyday for the rest of his or hers life. I'm not really sure. But everyone falls in love Kairi. Everyone does."

"How do you know you're in love with the right person?" I blurt out without hesitation.

He looks shocked. "I guess…you just know. Kairi, is there something you need to tell someone?"

"Yeah…when I figure it out." I shrug nonchalantly. I wave to him. "Go back to bed Sora. I don't want to bother you anymore."

"You never bother me Kairi."

I wince at the response, as if it stings internally, and it does because it is not true. I nod and begin walking away. "I hate it when you lie Sora. I hate it when both of you lie." I resume my steady pace, the thought of Sora following me never crossing my mind---that is until I feel his hand on my shoulder. I am jerked backwards, not roughly, to face him. I feel my back press to the back of a wall. His eyes are burning into mine as he leans closer, his face inches away from mine. I can feel every part of him for his body is pressed against mine, the curves of my body melding to his. It's strange how I fit to him so perfectly. His breath is warm, smelling of mint and coconut. It mingles with his body scent of vanilla and Egyptian musk, driving my senses mad to the point where I have to fight not to lose control here. I regain my composure and inch back from him with enough energy to mutter a few sensible words. "What is it So…Sora?" I pray that he doesn't notice my stutter, but it is so obvious that I feel like all is lost now—wait, I know it is. He leans closer to my face. I shiver as his lips graze my cheek.

"You've never bothered me you know and you still don't." His voice is husky and laced with a lustful tone to it.

"I have to go Sora. I'm very tired." How am I still making sense?

"Can we talk a bit longer?" He questions, his hands planted firmly on either side of me, blocking my escape.

And as much as I'm enjoying---more like loving--- our little interlude, I know it cannot go further till I've figured out my feelings. I shake my head at him. "So…Sora, I have to go. Goodnight." With my last ounce of sensible strength, I slip away from him and dart to my house only to find Riku standing by the rail, his emerald eyes hard as he looks at me.

"Where did you go?" He asks, eyes penetrating mine.

I feel no shame, but guilt does not show me mercy. "I went for a walk." It's not entirely a lie. His look softens immediately. He didn't see Sora. I walk to him, embracing him. "Riku, go back to sleep. You're still tired."

"Can't." He answers plainly as he returns my embrace. "I had another nightmare."

"Do you want me to wait till you sleep again?" I offer kindly to him. He smiles and nods. "All right then. Off to bed."

I wait until he is fast asleep again before closing the door and slipping into my room for some well-deserved rest as well. The night has been far too eventfully and far too long to stay up. I dream.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!"

"Selphie! Get out of my room!" I throw my pillow at her, missing her loud mouth by inches. She sticks her tongue out at me and I toss another pillow at her. Bulls-eye.

"That wasn't very nice!" Selphie shouts cheerfully. She jumps on my bed and curls up next to the wall, her teddy bear pajamas swallowing her up. Why did Tidus get those for her? She smiles. "Do you know what time it is?"

"No. I was hoping I'd get to sleep more." I mumble.

"Geez, then you're crazy. It's 8:00 am!" She states perkily.

"WHAT?" I shout while sitting up to face her, my eyes wide and jaw open. I push her off the bed. "GO AWAY! IT'S WAY TOO EARLY TO BE UP! GET OUT SELPHIE!"

"Not so," She counters my push and lands on her feet, "Riku and Sora are already at the docks fetching their boats. Tidus and Wakka are with them. I was sent here to retrieve you, my dear. Are you coming?"

I mumble incoherently as I change my clothes. I glance at her. "Are you going in those ridiculous pajamas?"

She gasps. "I'll see you at the docks!"

I laugh mentally as she runs out. I gather my belongings and head to the shore where my friends are waiting for us. Boat rides today! I skip down to the dock where Riku and Sora are conversing. They seem level enough, but sometimes I can't even tell. Instead of leaving them to their own, I jump on them, one arm on one of each their shoulders. "GOOD MORNING SORA! GOOD MORNING RIKU!"

"Hey Kairi." Riku nods politely. "Did you get good sleep last night?" I nod fervently.

Sora doesn't smile as he greets me. "Hey."

"So," I brush it off quickly, "whom do I ride with, Riku?"

Riku points to Sora. "I'm going with Wakka and Tidus is going with Selphie. It looks like it just you and Sora."

"Oh." I state blandly. I try to sound enthusiastic, but find that my mind doesn't agree with my mind. I nod to Sora.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks while untying the boat's rope. He doesn't look at me as he climbs aboard. When I don't enter right away, he glares up at me. "Well?" He questions bitterly. "Are you coming or not? I can't wait all day you know."

You're not the Sora I know. "Hold on a minute. I have to get something." I reply with a forced smile. I turn to Riku, pleading with him as we walk to my cabin. He just laughs. "What?"

"Now is your chance Kairi. I'm lost to you now, whether you accept it or not." Riku's smile is sad but sure. He pats my shoulder reassuringly. "I can't be the one you love. You did love me once, Kairi; I know this. But you don't anymore. You've waited so long for Sora and now he's back. It's time you told him."

I stare at him dumbfound. "But how…how did you know?"

"I've always known…since we came back." Riku picks up the blankets. "Come on, they're waiting for us."

"Yeah." I say quietly as we walk back towards the shore. My stomach does a flip-flop. This is not good. Why me?