Reaping day dawns bright and cloudless with the promise of a gorgeous sunny day. Katniss Everdeen fishes in the morning with her best friend Gale Hawthorne, and they gather strawberries, but they're back at their respective homes early. It's Prim's first reaping, and Katniss wants to be there to comfort her little sister. Only one of Gale's three siblings is old enough for the reaping this year, but the younger two are nervous for their big brothers.
A Seam girl is reaped, Katniss only knows her by sight, she's in Gale's year at school. She's 18, one of the oldest of this year's tributes, but underfed, scrawny and weak. This was her last reaping, if she hadn't been chosen she would have been free and clear now. The crowd barely reacts, older Seam kids are reaped every year, they're the ones with the most slips in the bowls. When the boy's name is called, however, an almost inhuman wail rises from somewhere in the crowd of waiting townsfolk. Davey Cartwright is only 13, all blond curls and chubby cheeks, he looks like a cherub. It's rare that merchants are reaped, they seldom have to take tesserae, and Davey would only have had two slips in the bowl, but the odds weren't in his favour.
Katniss grabs Prim, hugging her hard, safe for another year. They walk home with their mother, and with Gale and his family. Tonight there will be fish stew and strawberries and silent prayers of thanks. It doesn't feel right to celebrate when there are two families grieving, but the relief is palpable.
Everyone gets a day off for the reaping, but it's business as usual in the district the day after, back to work, back to school, normal except for the mandatory viewing in the evenings, though this early it's nothing but recaps and analysis. The Games don't start until two weeks after the reaping, but there will be interviews and training scores and the tribute parade for the Capitol's entertainment before that. Katniss notices Delly Cartwright is missing from their classes only because Madge points it out while they have lunch side by side. Delly is missing the next day too, but then it's the weekend and Katniss doesn't give any more thought to it.
Summer weekends are when she and Gale can hunt from dawn to dusk, bringing in as much as possible to salt and store away for the winter, and to trade for things they'll need when the weather turns. On Saturday evening they watch the opening ceremonies on the big screens in the town square, crowded together with their families and most of the district. Once the games start people generally do their mandatory viewing at home, but the tribute parade is one last chance to see the children who were reaped looking healthy and alive. Little Davey looks lost on his chariot, a child playing dress-up, wearing daddy's coal miner helmet, a generous coating of coal dust and little else.
Monday is rainy, so there's no hunting before school. Madge and Katniss eat lunch silently as always; together, but not really together. Madge elbows Katniss though, to get her attention, and points across the room with her chin. Delly Cartwright is back at school; attendance is mandatory until after your last reaping, the peacekeepers would have been banging on her door if she'd missed another day. But instead of sitting surrounded by other merchant kids like she used to, Delly is alone, slumped at a table near the other kids, but not too close, her hair lank and dull, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. The merchant kids who are her friends don't seem to understand her grief, or maybe it's just that most of them have no experience with loss, so for the most part they shy away from Delly. A few stop with a quiet word but none stay, and after lunch Katniss watches as Delly shuffles back to class with her head down, alone.
She doesn't mean to keep tabs on Delly, but somehow she can't help it. Every day she notices Delly looking worse and worse, notices fewer and fewer people say anything at all to the girl. And while it makes no sense for her to care, and even less sense to act on it, she feels almost a kinship with the broken merchant girl. She knows what it's like to lose someone that important, and every time she looks at Delly she can't help but think of losing Prim, knows that if it had been Prim who'd been reaped she herself would probably be falling apart. When Madge is absent from school, caring again for her ailing mother, Katniss sits beside Delly instead of sitting alone for lunch. The other girl looks quizzically at Katniss, it's the first time since the reaping that she's worn anything other than a dazed expression. Neither speaks, but Katniss pushes a bit of bread with goat cheese into Delly's hands and they both eat.
The next day Katniss drags Delly over to sit with her and Madge and the three girls eat together wordlessly. Days follow in the same fashion, but on the day the Games are set to begin Delly finally speaks to Katniss, asking her if they can watch together during mandatory viewing, and Katniss agrees.
They watch on the giant screens in the square, surrounded by a crowd of people more interested in enjoying the beautiful summer evening than in watching children kill each other. The Seam girl is killed in the first 20 minutes, during the bloodbath at the cornucopia, but Davey runs and hides and by the time mandatory viewing ends for the night he's holed himself up in a little cave by a stream. It's not the best hiding spot, but this early in the games he'll probably be safe overnight.
Delly's spirits are better the next day, and as Davey continues to defy the odds she seems more and more like the Delly of old; tentatively chatting with her merchant friends again and taking care of herself, though she continues to share quiet lunches with Katniss and Madge.
Ten days in Davey is bitten by a snake, and he dies lying on the riverbank in the mud, his sky blue eyes wide and his baby pink lips frozen open. He's the 15th tribute to die.
That night Katniss has a nightmare. Bad dreams are common for her, she's had them since her father died, but this one is different. She dreams she's in the Games, watching Davey die in the mud. Only in her dream it isn't Davey's golden hair and vacant blue eyes that stare up at her, it's Peeta Mellark's.
She jolts awake, heart pounding in horror and confusion. Peeta Mellark is a merchant boy, the baker's youngest son. They're in the same year at school, but they're not friends. In fact, they've never even spoken. Their one and only interaction was years ago when they were both eleven, a few months after her father died in an explosion in the mines where he worked. Her mother was locked in a deep depression, unable to care for her children and Katniss and Prim were starving to death. Katniss was slumped under an apple tree behind the Mellark bakery, in the pouring rain, waiting to die, when Peeta threw her two loaves of slightly burned bread. He hadn't said anything, but in the years since she'd thought about that day often, was almost certain he'd burned the loaves on purpose, for her, and had taken a beating from his mother because of it.
The bread, and the hope that he'd given her had saved her and her family. Many times over the years she'd wanted to thank him but the opportunity had never arisen.
She dismisses the dream as nothing; it's true that Peeta and Davey look similar with their merchant colouring, that's all it is. Still, she finds herself watching Peeta that day in school, and several times their eyes meet before one or the other looks quickly away.
Delly comes to school every day but she's shattered. She sits with Katniss and Madge at lunch though, and their quiet companionship seems to help her hang on. Katniss notices that the only other classmate who speaks to Delly is Peeta, who walks Delly home after school on days when he doesn't have wrestling practice.
The dreams plague Katniss, returning again and again, each time growing more vivid, more graphic, until the night she wakes Prim and her mother with her screams as she dreams that Peeta is dying on the riverbank, this time by her own hand.
She can't sleep after that, so she heads to the woods. Before the sun has even fully risen she's emptied and reset the snare line and picked a gallon of blueberries. It's a perfect summer day, but she's too distracted to risk staying in the woods. Before she even realizes what she's doing she finds herself standing at the back door of the bakery.
Usually when she comes to trade her squirrels for real bakery bread it's the baker who answers the back door but it's much earlier than usual today, and so it's Peeta's golden hair and shy smile that greet her. He offers to get his father, the first words he's ever spoken to her, but she shakes her head and thrusts a large cloth-wrapped bundle of berries into his hands, then turns and runs down the alley wordlessly.
She feels better after that, maybe a half-gallon of blueberries is a poor repayment for the bread that saved her family, and it's definitely 5 years too late, but it's something. She hopes it'll calm her guilt and take away the nightmares.
At school the next day Peeta approaches her before class starts with a determined look on his face and she panics, mentally assessing the ways she could run, but before she can move he's standing in front of her, pressing a muffin into her hands. It's fragrant, and still warm, and it takes every bit of her restraint not to shove it into her mouth right away.
"I can't take this," she says quietly, in a voice tinged with regret. "I haven't got anything to trade."
"Not a trade," he says with a shy smile. "I made them with the blueberries. From yesterday," he adds, as if he thinks she might have forgotten. She's speechless, and he walks away before she can stop him. She eats half of the muffin before heading to class, tucking the other half into her bag to give to Prim later, and it's the best thing she's ever tasted.
Peeta begins to join them for lunch, not every day but a few times a week. While he's outgoing and gregarious with his other friends he's quiet with them, but just his presence seems to help coax Delly out of her shell. As the days pass they speak a little more, the strange foursome, and Katniss learns that Peeta's and Delly's parents were childhood friends themselves.
Gale starts to work in the mines and he changes. They still meet in the woods on Sundays, it's the only day he doesn't work, but where they used to share a warm companionship, a brotherhood of sorts, things are now so much colder between them. Gale constantly berates her for spending time with her new 'townie' friends and she's bewildered; what difference does it make who she sits with at school for lunch? Gale doesn't even go to school anymore, and the small amount that she sees Delly or Madge or Peeta outside of school never interferes with her hunting. She still takes half of what the snares catch to the Hawthornes, even though Gale is down in the mines 6 days a week and can't help.
Davey's tiny coffin is delivered to the district on a rainy Friday, eight agonizing weeks after he left on the very same train, and Delly begs Katniss to come to the cemetery with her the next day. Katniss feels completely out of place, she's never been to a burial, there was nothing left of her father to bury after all, but she stands stoically as Delly clings tightly to her hand. Delly's father practically holds his wife up, while she stares vacantly at nothing. Katniss knows that look; it's the look her mother wore for so many months after Mr Everdeen died.
As popular as the cobbler and his wife had seemed, there are only a handful of mourners present. Peeta is there, standing still and silent as they watch the small coffin lowered into the ground. Katniss wonders why the baker and his wife aren't there, since they're friends with the Cartwrights, but she doesn't dare ask.
Sundays in the woods with Gale get more and more tense, even as the late season hunting itself improves. He's angry with her all of the time and she begins to dread the very place that had been her sanctuary for so long. On a cool misty morning she finally confronts him, and quickly they escalate to screaming, scaring away all of the animals for miles. He backs her into a tree and reaches for her; momentarily she's frightened that he's going to wrap his hands around her throat. Instead her cradles her face and presses his lips against hers.
She's never been kissed by a boy before, and while she's sure it should make some sort of impact on her all she really registers is the firm pressure of his mouth against hers, and the faint scent of soap that lingers on his hands. He lets go, backing away. "I had to do that, at least once," he says, then turns and leaves, and that's the last Sunday they spend together.
She knows he still goes into the woods, suspects he's set up new snare lines elsewhere, but their paths never cross. She thinks he's avoiding her, though she doesn't understand why, knows only that she's disappointed him somehow. He still trades at the Hob, Greasy Sae fills her in on what he brings and who he speaks with, but he never trades with the merchants in town anymore. It's as if he's divided their trade route cleanly in half, leaving her the town portion.
Once she's accepted that Gale is truly gone from her life she starts to bring Prim into the woods, not to hunt, the younger girl is far too delicate to hunt, but she's an excellent gatherer and her plant knowledge quickly improves. Katniss finds in these shared experiences that her relationship with Prim deepens, finds herself becoming less a parent to Prim and more a sister, a friend. The heavy cloak of responsibility that she'd worn since her father's death seems to lighten a bit.
When Katniss trades squirrels at the back door of the bakery now it's Peeta she deals with, instead of his father, and gradually they begin to talk to one another. Sometimes she brings him nuts and berries, not to trade, but just because she wants to and she likes how he smiles when she gifts them. She only brings him small amounts, handfuls really, so that he can't force her to take anything in return. And yet he always shares with her a small taste of what he's made with them; a slice of bread, a muffin, a biscuit. The back and forth is comfortable, and though she's still never thanked him for the bread all of those years ago she begins to feel like she doesn't owe him so much anymore. He still shows up in her dreams sometimes, in a dank cave or lying on the riverbank, but no longer dead, and she thinks that's a major improvement.
Summer fades into fall, and Delly gradually gets better, but Delly's mother does not. The last time Katniss catches sight of Mrs. Cartwright is when the train comes to town for the Victory Tour. Where the winner of the 74th Hunger Games, a career from District Two, can barely conceal his disdain at being forced to speak to the silent coal-stained crowd.
The evening of the first snowfall of the season Mrs. Cartwright passes away. The peacekeepers list the official cause of death as pneumonia, but rumours abound that she took her own life, having never recovered from the grief of losing her son.
Katniss begins to spend evenings now and again with Delly in the small apartment where she and her father live above the shoe shop, pungent with the smell of leather. She tries to keep Delly's spirits up and help fill in the silence of her half-empty home. She's surprised when on the cold, dark night of her second visit Peeta shows up as she's leaving, offering to walk Katniss home. She doesn't need his help, doesn't want to owe him anything else, but he doesn't take no for an answer. They don't walk together so much as Peeta chases her as she stomps to the Seam, but he's undeterred. After that he shows up every time she visits with Delly, to walk her home.
She confronts him, snaps at him that she doesn't need his help, that she can walk home just fine by herself but he merely smiles. "I know, Katniss," he says, flashing that shy smile that she secretly adores. "I want to walk with you. You're doing me a favour by allowing it." She rolls her eyes, but doesn't fight him anymore, doesn't try to run, and the cold mile between town and the Seam gradually fills with their conversations. By the time Yule rolls around they're making the walk mittened hand in mittened hand.
There are few celebrations in District 12, there isn't much to celebrate here and starvation makes for a poor party. But New Years is a mandatory celebration; giant screens fill the square as the Capitol broadcasts vapid propaganda while counting down to midnight. Peeta is busy in the days before New Year's Eve, decorating cakes that the wealthiest citizens will buy for their parties; the mayor, the head peacekeeper, a couple of others. Katniss generally spends New Year's Eve at home, watching the countdown on the static-filled old clunker of a television that occupies the corner of the living room, but Prim wants desperately to go to the square, and their mother is well enough this year that Katniss can't use her as an excuse to stay home.
The atmosphere in the square is exuberant, it's been a mild winter so far and there's a feeling of if not happiness exactly then contentment. People are suffering less this winter, people are less afraid of starving to death.
There's a bonfire leaping from a metal drum and a man selling hot spiced cider, somehow Mrs. Everdeen has a few coins to buy a cup for Katniss and Prim to share. The night is mild and just a few lazy snowflakes drift from the sky, twinkling in the light of the fire and the screens. Prim runs to her friends and their mother drifts away so Katniss stands by the fire, watching. Madge isn't there, the mayor hosts a New Year's party for the most prominent townsfolk. Delly too is missing, keeping an eye on her father at the close of their awful year. But Katniss doesn't mind the solitude; she's always felt most comfortable on the periphery.
A pair of fiddlers strike up a reel and Katniss can't hold back the small smile that plays on her lips as people begin to dance, all fast spins and joyful expressions. She doesn't realize that she's singing along until a soft voice speaks almost directly into her ear. "I remember the first time I heard you sing."
She spins abruptly to find Peeta standing so close to her that she can feel his breath on her ear, and she shivers, looking up to meet eyes that are little more than black pools in the darkness. "It was the first day of school, we were five," he continues. "At music assembly the teacher asked who knew the valley song and your hand shot right up. She stood you on a stool and had you sing for us. And I swear every bird outside the windows fell silent. And right when your song ended I knew I was a goner."
She wants to scoff, but the comeback dies in her throat at the look on his face, still shy, a little frightened but determined, and completely serious. Instead she squeaks out, "You have a remarkable memory."
"I remember everything about you," Peeta says, reaching down to tuck a loose strand of jet black hair behind her ear. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention."
"I am now," she whispers. He leans in close but pauses as if in question. Katniss is the one who closes the distance between them.
It's completely unlike the kiss she shared with Gale. She's struck by Peeta's immediacy, how she feels surrounded by him, aware of his hot breath on her cheek as it puffs unevenly from his nose, and the stirrings in her chest, warm and curious. Their lips separate, but they remain leaning into each other, her hands curled into the rough wool of his jacket, his hands resting lightly just above her hips, both with wide eyes and shy smiles. "I've wanted to do that for years," he confesses, lifting a gentle hand to cup her flushed cheek.
They break apart quickly when the raucous voice of Gale Hawthorne booms out from only feet away. "Catnip," he slurs, squeezing between her and Peeta and throwing an arm around her shoulders. He sways slightly and smells like white liquor.
"Gale?" she questions, stunned and confused. "Are you… are you drunk?"
He snorts, the sound like nothing she's ever heard from him before. "I prefer to think of it as really relaxed," he says, rolling the r sounds ridiculously. He's leaning on her now, having manoeuvred himself neatly between her and Peeta. "I never see you anymore, I miss you Catnip," he laments, loudly, and she cringes visibly.
"That's because you're avoiding me, Gale," she says quietly but there's an edge of hurt to her words. The last time she saw him he was screaming at her and then kissing her, and that was months ago.
"No, it's not like that," he moans, almost impossible to understand, and his glassy eyes hold both an apology and fire. He leans into her, maybe trying to hug her, she's not sure, but she twists out of his grasp and looks at him with furrowed brows.
"What's going on, Gale?" She means to be nonchalant but embarrassment wells up and her words come out sharply. His face hardens and his jaw tenses, and when his hands grip her shoulders firmly she lets out an inadvertent squeak of surprise.
Over Gale's shoulder she sees Peeta move towards them, she thinks he's going to pull Gale away but she knows that will set off Gale's temper, and who knows what he'd be capable of in this state. There are peacekeepers all around the square and the last thing she wants is trouble. She meets Peeta's eyes over Gale's shoulder and shakes her head, silently begging him to understand. He backs away wordlessly but his expression is sad and confused.
Gale is mumbling incoherently and almost falling over, and she knows if he stays in the square he's going to make a scene. She's still hurt by his abrupt dismissal of her from his life, but even still he's one of her closest friends and she needs to protect him. She tucks her shoulder under his arm and tells him she'll bring him home. Though she doesn't look back she can feel Peeta's eyes burning between her shoulder blades as she half drags Gale towards the Seam.
He mumbles as they walk, apologies she thinks though his speech is so garbled she doesn't understand most of it. Finally he becomes aware enough to drag her to a large rock by the side of the path, sitting on it and pulling her down beside him. It's a little smaller than the rock where they used to meet in the woods before each hunting day but the familiarity makes her heart pang. She's missed him, the Gale that was her friend, the Gale who made her smile.
"It's supposed to be us, Catnip. You and me. Not you and the baker boy." He's holding her hands and pleading, but she shakes her head in disbelief.
"We're friends, Gale, you and I. Best friends."
He moans. "No… We're more than friends Catnip. We belong together! You and me, we're gonna get married, gonna be happy."
Katniss bites her lip. She thought this might be where his thinking was going, but to hear it, even drunk as he is, makes her angry. He's the one who is supposed to know her better than anyone else. "You know I never want to get married, Gale. That's never been part of my plan. Marriage means kids and kids mean Reapings and…" He cuts her off, squeezing her hands painfully and leaning in close, the liquor fumes almost overwhelming as they push against her face.
"S'not stopping you from screwing around with the baker boy." He sneers and she jumps back, shoving his hands away, shock and revulsion forcing a flush into her cheeks.
"Peeta and I are friends, Gale, nothing more, and it's none of your damned business anyway!" She runs away, leaving him sitting on the side of the path, her mind whirling with rage. She can't abandon him entirely though, so when she sees lights on at one of the houses on the edge of the Seam she convinces the young man inside, one of Gale's crew mates in the mines, to drag him back. She doesn't stick around to watch.
Gale comes around the next day, sober, to apologize, but Katniss won't see him. She can hear him speaking with Prim but she hides in the tiny bedroom until Prim comes back to tell her that he's gone. She doesn't want to tell Prim what happened because Prim is twelve and she shouldn't know about boys and kissing and stuff, but Prim guesses much of what's happened anyway between being naturally perceptive and talking with Gale's younger brother Rory, who is her classmate. And when Katniss tells her what she told Gale about never falling in love and never getting married Prim only rolls her eyes.
"I saw you kiss Peeta, Katniss," she grins, pale blue eyes twinkling. "And I see the way he looks at you. The way he's always looked at you."
Katniss shrugs her sister off, and they move onto other topics of discussion.
Katniss expects Peeta to confront her at school or maybe to avoid her but instead they fall back into quiet joint lunches and walks from Delly's house to the Seam, as if nothing ever happened. She tells herself it's what she wants, that she has no room in her life to think about frivolities like boyfriends or love, but when she thinks of Peeta and that kiss she feels hollow.
The winter continues to be mild and hunting, while not plentiful, brings in enough to sustain Katniss, Prim and their mother. She doesn't see Gale at all. It's not that she avoids him, exactly, but she does the majority of her hunting in the early mornings before school, or on Saturdays and somehow there are always other things she needs to do on Sundays that keep her out of the woods. When Prim mentions she's heard Gale is dating someone all Katniss feels is relief.
The first day of spring dawns cool and wet, and they're informed at the beginning of class that there is mandatory viewing that evening. Some propaganda piece from the Capitol no doubt, they're not frequent, but they're not uncommon either. When Katniss and Prim tell their mother later that day she seems to know what's coming: the reading of the card. This summer's Hunger Games will be the 75th, and that means another Quarter Quell, a glorified version of the Games, with some even more horrifying twist. For the last Quell each district had to send four children. That's the Games that District 12's only living victor won.
Huddled around the television set in their tiny livingroom the Everdeen women watch as President Snow's snake-like face fills the screen and he reads.
"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels of how very small they are in the face of the Capitol's power, the male and female tributes will be reaped from only the pool of twelve year olds."
Mrs. Everdeen makes a soft dismayed sound but Katniss and Prim hug each other fiercely. Safe for another year! They won't even be eligible for this year's reaping!
There are murmurs everywhere in the District, people grumbling under their breath about how barbaric it is to send 24 of the smallest children into the arena, the kind of seditious talk that normally only emerges from the mines seems to spread into households not only in the Seam but in town too. District 12 is so tiny there are only maybe 80 twelve year olds in total, and none will have more than a handful of slips in the bowls. For once the odds won't be tipped so strongly in favour of Seam children being chosen.
Among the kids on the other end of the spectrum, the 18 year olds who have essentially aged out of the Reaping 3 months early, there is jubilation. They keep the peacekeepers busy between cutting school and gathering after dark for bonfires and drinking.
On a perfect April morning with her gathering bag full of fiddleheads and morels Katniss slips back through the fence in the meadow to find Peeta waiting for her. In the months since the kiss they shared, they've settled into a comfortable companionship, maybe even a friendship, but it's still the first time she's seen him outside of school or her walks home after visiting Delly. She scowls at him in confusion, but he merely smiles, radiant as a sunbeam, and falls into step with her as she heads to the Hob.
She's surprised when he follows her into the Hob, not that Merchants don't occasionally come here, there aren't any other places to buy contraband liquor after all, but Peeta isn't like the world weary old men who sneak in shamefaced and afraid of being seen. He's wide eyed and curious, friendly with the vendors despite the wary way they regard him, even managing to charm Greasy Sae while Katniss barters.
After, he walks her to the Seam. Along the way he finally spills the reason he'd wanted to see her. "Mrs. Potvin came into the bakery yesterday," he starts. Katniss is familiar with the name, the Potvins are Seam folk, their two children are just a little older than Katniss. She shrugs, and he looks concerned, as if he'd expected more of a reaction from her. "She wanted to order a small Toasting cake. For Leevy…" he breaks off, still studying her face. Leevy is a year older than they are, she guesses that since the Reaping this year will only involve twelve year olds some of the 18 year olds are getting a head start on marriages and jobs. Finally he takes a deep breath. "For Leevy and Gale."
She's surprised, sure, not that Gale is getting married, she's always known that was in his plans, but that it's happening so quickly. And if she's being honest she's a little hurt that she's hearing it from Peeta instead of from Gale, who was her best friend for so many years. Still, the only thing that pops into her head is to ask what they wanted on their cake, and Peeta grins, looking oddly relieved.
"Candied violets," he says, then describes the cake he'll make for the couple; a small one, tiny really, scarcely big enough to be called a cake but still an almost unimaginable luxury for a Seam toasting. "Katniss," he says softly when the quiet has stretched between them. "What happened with you and Gale?"
She shrugs again. "I'm not really sure," she says. She'd rather not talk about Gale with Peeta, for some reason it feels like they are parts of her life that should be kept separate, but there's something in Peeta's expression that compels her to continue. "Everything was great until the last Reaping, we were best friends, we saw each other every day. And then we weren't."
"I thought you would be the one marrying Gale," Peeta admits, and Katniss stops, scowling at him.
"Gale and I were hunting partners, friends." she insists. "There was never anything else between us. There never could have been."
"He wanted there to be."
She studies Peeta closely, wondering how he can tell. "Yeah," she admits after a while. "I think he did. But I didn't."
The toasting is the following Sunday. Katniss isn't invited, nor does Gale stop by to tell her about it, but when the couple leaves the Justice Building hand in hand Katniss is lined up with the rest of their neighbours, singing the wedding song. Gale catches her eye and smiles as he walks by with his bride on his arm, and Katniss thinks that maybe someday they'll be able to be friends again.
Peeta is incredibly busy in the weeks that follow, the bakery receives a rush of orders for toasting cakes which fill his weekends from before dawn to dusk, and practices for the upcoming wrestling tournament take up his lunch period and what seems like every spare moment of his time. When Katniss does see him, at school for a few minutes at lunch, or walking between the school and Delly's house, he's more affectionate, giving her hand a gentle squeeze or stroking the glossy length of her braid, always with a warm smile and twinkling eyes.
Discovering the season's first rhubarb on an unseasonably warm Saturday morning in the woods reminds Katniss that she hasn't brought Peeta anything since the fall. She cuts and trims a bunch of the pink-green stems, and bundles enough for him to make a small pie or a few tartlets, but not enough that he'll insist on paying her. His smile when she gifts the tart stalks is radiant, but before she can dart back down the alley he grabs her arm.
"Katniss," he starts, and his voice wavers with nerves. "I finish at four today and I wondered if I could see you. Tonight." His words are ambiguous but she thinks she knows what he means, though she's tempted to play dumb and make him spit it out anyway, simply for the fun of watching him sweat. But he's looking at her with eyes wide and guileless and a streak of flour on his cheek, and she doesn't have the heart to make him squirm.
"Sure, Peeta." She smiles as his features flood with relief. His hand slides down her arm to grasp her hand.
"Will you meet me here, at five?" The hope on his face is unmistakable, and sweet.
"Okay." She smiles and squeezes his hand before darting back down the alley.
She should be terrified, she's sure Peeta has asked her on a date, and courting leads to things she's always sworn she doesn't want; love, marriage, babies. But she's strangely okay with it, well, with one date anyway. Maybe it was the mild winter that's left Prim's cheeks fuller than they've been in years, maybe it's the lack of fear of the Reaping, at least this year, or maybe it's something different entirely, but she's not afraid. Not much anyway.
She has to tell Prim of course, to explain why she won't be home for supper, and the younger girl's squeals of delight almost have her rethinking her plans. And while Katniss would have been content to just wash her face and wear her regular hunting clothes Prim won't have any of that. So Katniss has an unusual Saturday afternoon bath, even washing her hair with a precious egg yolk. After, they sit on the front stoop in the spring sunshine and Prim brushes through Katniss's hair, 100 strokes, until it's dry and hangs in a glossy curtain down her back. When Katniss reaches back to braid it Prim slaps her hands away. "Leave it down," she entreats, and Katniss seldom says no to anything her sister asks. She does, however, draw the line at wearing a skirt, but pulls on her nicest trousers, the ones without any holes or patches yet, and a soft grey tunic.
He's waiting in front of the bakery when she arrives that afternoon, sitting on the steps beside a large basket. The flour streak is gone and he's switched out the white t-shirt and khakis that make up his bakery uniform for a blue button down shirt and too-long dark pants that are obviously hand-me-downs from his older, taller brother. His golden hair is slightly damp, the waves combed carefully into place. She's struck, not for the first time, by how handsome he is. And seeing the care he's put into his appearance makes her grateful that she let Prim fancy her up a bit. His eyes widen when he catches sight of her, leaping to his feet as she approaches. He's breathless as he tells her that he can't remember ever seeing her with her hair down, and she blushes in spite of herself.
He picks up the basket and hand in hand they head for the meadow. They don't talk much on the walk, but Peeta keeps stealing shy, almost awed glances at her, as if he's not sure she's real. There's a tension between them, not anger but something hopeful and electric.
Once they're seated on a blanket in the dappled shade of a giant oak tree they both start to relax. Peeta's packed a meal in the basket, and the only thing that keeps her from being angry that he's feeding her is the promise that next time she can make dinner for them. His grin when she says next time threatens to split his face.
They smile and talk over hard boiled eggs, cold sausage and cheese buns, which are the most marvelous things Katniss has ever tasted, sharing a flask of cold tea between them.
The evening is unseasonably warm, almost balmy, and they linger in the meadow long after their meal is finished. Katniss gathers wildflowers and weaves them into a crown with her head on Peeta's lap as he plays with her hair. When his hands still she glances up at him warily. "What?"
"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," he says with a sigh, but his eyes are twinkling mischievously, and all she can do is smile and shake her head.
She sits up when the sun begins to paint the sky in swaths of orange and pink, and he wraps his arms around her, pressing her back snugly against his chest, her hips bracketed by his muscular thighs, and it's her turn to sigh as together they watch nature's light show.
He walks her home in the twilight, and on her front steps he leans down to kiss her again. Even though it's been nearly five months since that first kiss their lips move together with almost impossible familiarity. He pulls back far too soon and she has to force herself not to chase him. His smile says he notices. "I have thought about kissing you every single day since New Years," he whispers.
"Then why didn't you?" All of these months she's wondered. She thought maybe he'd regretted kissing her. He looks embarrassed.
"I thought you were with Gale, the way you left with him that night. I actually thought he would come by to punch me in the face for kissing you. I was a little afraid to open the back door of the bakery for a few weeks."
She snorts, an indelicate little noise of disbelief, then kisses him again before turning to her door. She pauses, hand on the knob and peeks at him over her shoulder. "It's always been you, Peeta," she says softly, then jogs into the house before he can reply.
The next day at school she lets him hold her hand walking between classes, and only barely notices how he's clearly favouring his left arm.
"Courting" doesn't change much. She still hunts, goes to school, takes care of Prim and spends time with Delly and occasionally Madge, but now when Peeta walks her home in the evenings he'll steal a kiss or two. They're reserved with each other at school, holding hands under the lunch table but not much more, neither ever says anything but they both have the impression that the other would like to keep their blossoming relationship private. But when Peeta has an odd weekend evening off they'll spend a couple of hours talking in the meadow over a picnic supper that either she packs or he does. And on those evenings they open up to each other in ways they've never opened up to anyone else.
Katniss is surprised to learn that the Mellarks are very nearly as poor as people in the Seam are. She just assumed that growing up around so much food he'd have always been well fed, but the truth is that most of their supplies go into the bakery, the family mostly eats the hard, dry loaves no one else wants. She silently vows to bring him more fresh foods while the woods are in full bloom.
Peeta admits to her that his mother has been harping at his older brothers to find wives now that they're past Reaping age, wives she would deem suitable matches of course, daughters of the wealthier merchants who can improve the Mellark fortunes. Rye, the middle brother, has already fallen into step with his mother's plans and is betrothed to the grocer's daughter, he began working at the Justice Building as a clerk when he finished school last year, and he helps out around the grocery too, which is why he's rarely in the bakery anymore.
Brann, the eldest brother, is an artist, which their mother hates, except when it benefits her. In plentiful times when they can afford to order marzipan from the Capitol, Brann sculpts incredible intricate little figures to sell to the sweet shop that's next door to the bakery. He used to carve little animals out of wood for Peeta when they were younger, but their mother insisted that Brann stop and dedicate more of his attention to learning the books for the bakery. Peeta admits that Brann hates the bakery, and has secretly been learning silversmithing from the town's blacksmith. Peeta has seen some of Brann's work; beautiful, delicate jewellery, but there's not enough business in District 12 to support a jeweller.
Peeta shyly admits that he dabbles in art too; he draws, and paints when he can get supplies. She's known since they were quite young that he's the one who decorates all of the cakes at the bakery but Katniss is curious to see his more permanent artworks.
She gets her chance on May 8th, her birthday. She hasn't really celebrated since before her father died, but Prim always makes sure to do at least a little something for her. She doesn't think to mention it to Peeta, but somehow he knows, and he catches her walking to school that morning.
He gives her a bag with six perfect sugar cookies inside, each painted with a different delicate flower. She knows cookies like these are expensive, and she wants to protest, but the words die in her throat when she sees the card.
He's painted their meadow, the tall oaks bordering a sea of lush green grass dotted with yellow dandelions and purple clover. It's so exquisite that she expects to see the long grasses waving in the breeze.
And inside he's written in his nicest handwriting the words to an old lullaby her father used to sing, one that she herself sometimes sings for Prim.
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise
There's no way he could have guessed how special that ancient mountain air is to her, and it takes everything in her power to not dissolve into tears. Peeta looks alarmed when her eyes shine and her lip quivers.
She hugs him so fiercely that he's momentarily confused, but after a moment he wraps her in his arms, so strong and steady, and rocks her as she trembles with emotion. And on that quiet May morning something shifts in her heart. She feels certain that her father is giving her his approval.
...
Reaping day dawns grey and cool, and black rain clouds roll in as the day progresses. Katniss finds it strange to watch from the viewing area instead of from the pens in front of the stage where she's spent the previous 5 Reapings. The pens that hold the children look startlingly empty, only 88 in total and all of them so very small.
The tailor's little granddaughter is reaped, she's so tiny that she can barely make it up the stairs, and she cries the entire walk, huge tears running down her pink cheeks. A little Seam boy is reaped too, Katniss knows his family, they're neighbours of the Hawthornes'. As impossible as it is to imagine, he's even smaller than his district partner. Neither looks older than 10.
As they're forced to watch the recaps the same scene plays out district after district. Even in the career districts the tributes are small, and for once there are no volunteers in 1, 2 or 4.
The tribute parade is awful, the children are all so little they can barely be seen on their chariots, and more than a few cry the whole ceremony. The interviews are worse, one tribute sucks his thumb the entire time, another hides behind a pillow and refuses to talk at all. But nothing - nothing - could have prepared Panem for the horror of the 75th Hunger Games.
The arena is a brilliant blue sea surrounded by sandy beach and jewelled green jungle. Each tribute is balanced on a pedestal surrounded by water. When the horn sounds to begin the games the two tributes from district 4, the fishing district, dive into the sea. The other 22 children stand frozen and terrified. Most are openly sobbing. Twenty minutes into the games, 21 of the children are dead either having drowned or been taken out by the careers from 4. Only one other child, from district 2, manages to dog paddle to the shore and run into the jungle.
He's dead the next morning, electrocuted by the force field that surrounds them. As soon as his cannon sounds the 12 year old boy from district 4 kills his district partner, unceremoniously bashing in her skull with a rock while she sleeps, exhausted and delirious with thirst. The entire games had lasted 19 hours.
The mandatory viewing switches to Capitolites complaining, all garish colours and affected accents whining into the cameras until the broadcast ends abruptly.
There's an anger simmering in the district after the games, there is every year but this time the outrage is almost palpable. 23 of the tiniest kids dead for mere minutes of 'entertainment' that the people in the Capitol complained about anyway. Madge tells her in whispers that she's seen reports on her father's secure channel that several other districts are openly revolting.
After the games life in District 12 returns to normal for Katniss. Hunting is plentiful, Prim is becoming an accomplished gatherer and their mother's work doubles with the improved access to healing herbs. On a beautiful summer morning Katniss sneaks Peeta under the fence for the first time.
He is so loud!
He's so incredibly loud that she can't possibly get any hunting done, he steps on every twig and crackling leaf, trips over roots and bumps into stumps. And she's annoyed, but the look of absolute awe on his face makes her bite her tongue. He acts as if she's given him a priceless gift.
After that she takes him under the fence once a week. Hunting is out but she teaches him to set snares and his long artist's fingers prove remarkably adept at it. But his true calling is fishing, Peeta has patience in spades and can sit silently beside her for hours by the stream, catching a bounty of fish. He won't take any home though, she thinks he can't without explaining where he's been. But he helps her clean and dry and smoke their catches, and she puts enough away in the larder to feel good about the winter to come.
It's nearing the end of summer when she finally gathers enough courage to take him to her father's lake. It's a long, arduous walk but he never complains, as if he senses she's sharing something sacred with him. He's so still and silent when the lake comes into view that she worries he's disappointed, but a glance at his face proves otherwise. She's never seen him happier.
She wants to teach him to swim and is bewildered when he won't remove his shirt before he wades into the water, she hadn't thought him shy about his body. They splash and play together like children, and catch fish for lunch with rods she hides in a tiny abandoned cement shack perched on the edge of the lake. They lie together in the sun on a large flat rock to dry off and chaste kisses deepen, hands skim over cool damp skin, mouths and tongues map out throats and collarbones.
When his hands sneak under her damp camisole to stroke the slight swells of her breasts she keens, arching into him. His fingers pluck her taut nipples and she cries out his name. And when she so tentatively cups him over his shorts his moan makes her burn in ways she's never felt before.
They go no further, they're both shy and so innocent, but there is an electricity in the air around them, an understanding that when they're ready they'll cross that threshold together.
...
They make two more trips to the lake together before the fall. Peeta brings a sketchbook and pencils and she's fascinated watching him draw, how he gets this special look of concentration that hints of entire worlds trapped inside him.
She shoots waterfowl while he sketches, his stillness the perfect counterbalance to her stealth. And in the dim privacy of the little cement hut they explore each other; kissing, tasting sweat-soaked skin, caressing first over clothes and then bare sensitive parts. When she strokes him to completion for the first time, he collapses on top of her, panting declarations of his love into her shoulder. She doesn't say it back; the feelings are there but the words just are not.
If he's upset that she doesn't repeat it he doesn't let on. But he doesn't stop, whispering "I love you," into her hair or ear or mouth whenever the feeling strikes him. Which is often.
...
Rye Mellark gets married to Libby, the grocer's daughter, on a spectacular day in mid-October. The Mellarks spare no expense, and Peeta spends nearly a week crafting the multi-tiered toasting cake his mother demanded to impress the other merchant families. She has no regard for what the couple themselves might have wanted but Peeta consults with Libby extensively, so that she'll have something she loves too.
He sneaks Katniss into the bakery late one evening to see the finished product and she's stunned speechless. She knew he was talented, even has a few of his pictures pinned to the walls of the tiny bedroom she shares with Prim and their mother, but the cake is beyond anything she could have imagined possible. Layer upon layer of flowers, each so delicate and lifelike she can't imagine eating even a single one. When he shyly points out the Katniss flowers hidden among the roses and lilies she kisses him hard, right there in the kitchen.
Katniss is, of course, not invited to the toasting, though she knows Rye fairly well from school and her visits to the bakery. Only the wealthiest of the merchant families are invited, the ones Mrs Mellark wants to curry favour with. Katniss does catch sight of the happy couple leaving the Justice Building with their families. The smile falls from her face, however, when she sees Peeta. His cheekbone blooms with a fresh bruise, violet and black and blue and so painful looking. She knows it wasn't there when she saw him the night before. He pretends he doesn't see her in the crowd and she pretends she believes that he doesn't. When Delly asks him at school two days later about his injury he has an excuse so smooth that Katniss might have believed him if she hadn't seen an identical bruise on his face six years earlier.
The months that follow are worse and worse for Peeta. He deflects when she asks him what's going on but she can read him now, can see his misery. Even his art takes on a sad tone, noticeably darker. And their escapes together dwindle to almost nothing between the extra hours he has to put in at the bakery now that Rye is gone, and the snow that makes wandering the woods more difficult.
He comes with her to the Hob though, any chance he gets. It doesn't take long for the people there to accept him, he's so friendly and personable and down to earth. They're sharing a bowl of Greasy Sae's 'beef' stew (Katniss is certain it's possum this time, having brought Sae a pair of fat possums just two days ago) when Gale wanders in. It's been more than a year since she last saw him at the Hob, and many months since she's seen him at all. He's already starting to stoop, the way she remembers her father being hunched after each week in the mines, but his smile on seeing her is warm and genuine, and when he opens his arms she doesn't hesitate to walk into them.
Peeta greets Gale with a friendly smile and a firm handshake, and Gale shocks her by returning the greeting pleasantly. 'He's really grown up,' Katniss thinks. They exchange small talk, Gale fills them in on his life as a married man and the tiny shack they've been assigned. His wife, Leevy, is working as a seamstress and gradually sprucing up their tiny home, and they both continue to help support their families. Katniss thinks that Gale seems truly happy, for the first time in a very long time.
And when Gale bids them both goodbye he hugs her again and murmurs in her ear his acceptance of her choice and his happiness for her.
...
It's well after sundown on a bitterly cold night when Brann Mellark hammers on the Everdeen door, Peeta slumped against him, only half conscious and bleeding heavily from his head.
Mrs. Everdeen and Prim tend to their patient right away while Katniss looks on in horror. The wound itself isn't terrible, only needing six stitches, but they're worried about brain damage from the blow. When Peeta is stitched up and resting comfortably on the couch Brann explains in a low voice.
The tension brewing in the Mellark household had finally come to a head that evening as Peeta and Rye cleaned up the bakery after closing. Their mother, already enraged by Brann's refusal to court the Undersee girl after Mrs. Mellark worked so hard to get the mayor to agree to the match, turned her ire on Peeta. When his mother insisted Peeta take his brother's place as a suitor for Madge to cement the family's place in society he tried to explain, yet again, that he was already courting someone else. Neither Peeta nor Brann expects their mother to ever fully accept Katniss, but nor did anyone expect the rolling pin she threw at him from across the counter.
Brann doesn't know whether she was actually trying to kill Peeta or just to scare him, but when the heavy marble cylinder struck him in the temple he went down like a ton of bricks.
Brann half carried half dragged Peeta to the Everdeen house in the Seam. Rye took off to his home and his wife. Their father did nothing.
Brann steals away soon after, pressing a few coins into Mrs. Everdeen's hand. Peeta sleeps fitfully on the couch and Katniss sits up with him all night, clutching his hand tightly.
It's barely dawn when Mrs Everdeen examines Peeta again, he's achy and upset but it's clear no permanent damage has been done, at least not physically. She makes him remove his blood-stained shirt to clean it, and though he tries to shield himself with his arms and a thin crocheted blanket Katniss and Mrs. Everdeen catch sight of the various scars and half-healed bruises that litter Peeta's torso.
Mrs. Everdeen makes all three children hot grain with dried apples for breakfast, then retreats to the bedroom. When she returns Katniss is surprised to see her mother dressed in a soft blue dress from her merchant days, her hair carefully coiled into an elegant knot. She all but stomps out of the house, bundled against the cold and wearing the scowl that usually resides on her eldest daughter's face. The girls are shocked into stillness.
When she returns, angrier than Katniss has ever seen her, she insists that Peeta can't go back to the apartment over the bakery. Though food is scarce and they're barely keeping the three Everdeen women fed there's no question that Peeta will stay with them, and Katniss knows he must still be feeling terrible because he doesn't put up a fight. Katniss and Prim set up a pallet in the summer kitchen for him. It's cold in there overnight, even with extra quilts, but he never complains. He spends a couple of days in bed, recuperating; Katniss is reluctant to leave his side, only going to school and then running home afterward to be with him.
Katniss awakens before dawn on the third day that Peeta is with them to the sound of hushed voices and creeps out of the bedroom on silent feet. Rye is there, delivering to Peeta his few possessions, all of which fit into a dishearteningly small box. Clothing, school books, pencils and sketchpads, the only things Rye could sneak out of the house for his brother. Not a single memento of his family is in the box. Not a thing to suggest he was ever one of them at all. Katniss ducks back into the bedroom before Peeta can see her, and she pretends she can't hear his muffled sobs when he carries the box out to his pallet.
As soon as Peeta is deemed well enough to leave the house he heads straight to the Justice Building and signs up for tesserae. Katniss is livid, but he refuses to stay without contributing, however meager the extra oil and grain may be.
Katniss expects grumbling and gossipping at school and around town, after all it's pretty common knowledge that she and Peeta are courting, to have him now living at the Everdeen house should be scandalous, but there's scarcely a whisper. The few people who do say anything to her or to Peeta are positive and encouraging, Mrs. Mellark's atrocious treatment of her youngest son apparently wasn't as much as secret as Peeta might have hoped.
Peeta quickly proves his worth to the household, he's a phenomenal cook, turning their scant winter stores and tesserae grain into meals that are filling and taste good. He experiments with grinding the grains into a smooth flour and bakes up things Katniss could never have imagined; griddle cakes sweetened with a little honey, slippery noodles tossed with oil and garlic, even quick breads stuffed with bits of salt duck from the larder.
He's always cheerful too, up at dawn to cook or shovel snow with a smile, happy to help Prim with her homework or fix the broken steps or wash laundry in coal-warmed water and lye. Though life in the tiny Seam shack must be so different than what he'd been accustomed to above the bakery he seems to adjust easily and never grumbles or even seems to miss his old life.
More remarkable is the change in Mrs. Everdeen. Having Peeta there seems to spark something in her, she acts more like she used to before her husband died, even if she does occasionally refer to Peeta by his father's name. And while Katniss thought she'd never be able to trust her mother again she finds now that she's beginning to, at least a little. Their relationship will never be what it was, but it improves immensely.
Katniss still spends a couple of evenings a week with Delly, and one rainy evening on the cusp of spring Mr. Cartwright timidly asks Katniss if she'd be willing to help him with tanning a large hide. He does the tanning himself of some of the skins and furs that he uses to make shoes and boots because it's both less costly and better quality than what the Capitol will send. He explains that Delly is far too squeamish to be of any use in the rather gory tanning process, but he knows that Katniss is a hunter and when he's bought skins from Rooba he has seen the game she's shot and field dressed. He thinks she would do well, and of course he would pay her. Katniss is surprised, but intrigued, and agrees.
It turns out that Katniss is a natural, and in only a few weeks she's producing leathers that are softer and more supple than Mr. Cartwright, in his exhaustion and impatience, has been able to produce since his wife's death. She begins bringing the pelts of the game she hunts directly to him. She charges him far less than Rooba ever did, and Rooba herself is pleased to not have to skin the meat that Katniss brings to her anymore. Even Sae doesn't seem to mind the change. And the extra money helps make life in the Everdeen home a little easier for all four inhabitants.
When the snows melt away, Peeta and Prim build a tiny oven in the yard of the Everdeen house with bricks scavenged from old abandoned buildings around the mines. The first time he can rise before dawn to stoke the oven and bake bread for the day he's so happy he practically glows.
The arrival of spring means that Katniss and Peeta finally have a little privacy again. By unspoken agreement they've done nothing more physical than a chaste kiss on the cheek since he's been living in her house, out of respect for Prim and Mrs Everdeen. The first time they sneak under the fence together in the muddy and cold predawn they barely make it 100 yards before he presses her against a tree, kissing her like it's the only thing keeping him alive. Her response is equally fervent, and when he rubs his hardness so tantalizingly against her she wraps her legs around him and bites his shoulder hard enough that he'll have a new set of bruises to hide.
They go into the woods together nearly every morning and while there is often kissing and makeout sessions, they are also a serious hunting and gathering team. With the help of a plant book that has been in Katniss's family for generations, Peeta learns to identify edible roots, grains, greens, and berries, and he's more adept at managing the snare lines now even than she is. Katniss can dedicate more time to hunting, can spare more time to tracking the bigger game that brings in more money.
Peeta starts trading at the Hob. People there are used to him now, accustomed to his friendly face, and they accept bartering with him without much fuss. Katniss finds she enjoys watching him trade, behind the affable, sweet front is a surprisingly sharp negotiator with a quick mind.
They make a great team, together, and over the spring months they tuck away an impressive nest egg of coins and necessities. Neither mentions what their lives could look like after the Reaping, but she thinks about it constantly.
As Reaping Day draws nearer and nearer Katniss is more and more tense. She is convinced that Peeta is going to be reaped and it'll be all her fault because he had to take out tesserae. She begins to push him away, terrified of letting him see her fears, but he knows her too well. One morning he follows her pre-dawn escape, sliding under the fence on her heels and all but chasing her. She could easily outrun him but instead she turns and waits as he crashes through the brush, then wordlessly takes his hand and heads for the lake.
Their poles are still in the cement cabin, and it's not until they're sitting side by side, lines in the water, that she finally speaks.
"I never wanted to fall in love," she says softly, and he tenses beside her. She's never said 'love' to him before, not in all of the months he's been saying it to her. "I thought love made you weak," she admitted. "I saw my mother fall apart after my father died, become so despondent that she wouldn't even take care of her own children. I've always sworn that would never be me, Peeta."
She turns to face him. The rising sun catches his hair where the ends curl and crowns him in orange and gold. She can't help but smile. "You snuck up on me, Peeta. I didn't want to love you, but you gave me no choice." He turns to her, fishing poles all but forgotten.
"Katniss," he breathes, "I know you're afraid. I am too. But it's going to be okay. We're not going to be reaped. And I can't promise that bad things won't happen, but I can promise you that I'll be beside you all the way, that we'll handle whatever life throws at us together. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."
"I know," she says softly, "I know, Peeta, I know. I just…" she sighs. "Don't let them take you from me. Stay with me, please."
"Always," he moans, taking her into his arms and kissing her with days of pent up longing.
They make love for the first time in the little cabin, on a blanket before the cold hearth. They're both innocent, and it's clumsy and awkward. She hasn't even adjusted to having him inside her body when he pulls out with a shout, spilling himself onto her stomach in hot sticky spurts. His whole body is trembling as he collapses half on top of her, pressing wet kisses all over her face and panting his love and gratitude, and she is certain that she's never felt closer to another human being.
And after, he tremulously whispers, "You love me, real or not real?" She kisses him breathless and tells him "real."
There are so many more peacekeepers at the Reaping this year, there's a tension to the crowd too, a feeling of anger simmering just below the surface.
Katniss is so certain that they're going to call Peeta's name that she doesn't even register who they do call. Only when Peeta and Prim have found her in the crowd and enveloped her in a tight hug does she allow herself to relax. It is over, at least for her and Peeta. They've survived. But the mood in the square around them isn't the relief of Reapings past. There's a low hum of dissent from the parents and spectators, they don't dissipate immediately but instead stay around the makeshift stage, some even calling out rebellious words as the peacekeepers begin to push the crowd back. Katniss and Peeta shuffle Prim away, they've never encountered open resistance to the Capitol's will before, it's frightening but it's also exhilarating somehow.
Peeta cooks a large celebratory meal that night, Hazelle and the younger Hawthornes join, and the evening is as close to a party as Katniss can remember. She's happy and relaxed, sitting on the threadbare couch with Peeta when Prim and Mrs Everdeen retire for the night. Once they're alone he turns to her with nervous eyes and blurts, "can we go for a walk? Together, I mean?"
"Sure," she acquiesces, but her heart is pounding. It's common, customary even, for courting couples in District 12 to get engaged after their final reaping, and she's terrified he's going to ask her now. Not that she doesn't love him, she does, deeply, and she's not even as dead set against marriage as she was years before, but she's by no means ready.
By the time they reach the meadow she's light-headed with fear and adrenaline. Peeta turns to face her and takes her hands in his own. She's shaking like a leaf as he wets his lips and takes a deep breath. "Katniss," he whispers and she holds her breath. "I'm going into the mines."
For many long moments she can only stare, her brain refusing to turn his words into anything understandable. "Huh?" is all she manages to say, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"I have an appointment to meet the foreman next week," he clarifies. "I should be able to start working there early next month." As comprehension dawns her anger rises.
"No," she says. "No, you don't belong down there, Peeta. You can't. Just, no." She shakes her head, still stunned, still barely comprehending what's going on. She rips her hands from his, wrapping them protectively around herself, scowling. This isn't what she was expecting at all.
"Katniss," he breathes, his hands gripping her arms. "We are eighteen now, the Reapings are finally over for us. We're finishing school at the end of the month. I..." He pauses and swallows hard, his throat visibly bobbing. "I want a future with you, and I can't do that unless I can earn a living. I can't take care of you without a job."
"No!" she screams, wrenching herself from his grip and he flinches. "You're not going down there, you can't!"
He takes a step towards her but her name dies on his lips as she backs away. "I have to, Katniss. Please understand."
"Understand?" she shrieks. "Understand? Oh I understand fine, Peeta. I understand you lied to me!" He recoils as if he's been slapped.
"Wha-what?" he stammers.
"You promised! You promised that you'd stay with me, always."
"I will," he protests. "I'll be by your side as long as you'll allow it, Katniss. I love you!"
"No! If you loved me you wouldn't do this!" She can't stay calm anymore, her anger transforming to hysteria. His eyes widen as tears began to course down her face. She has never cried in front of him before; since her father died she's never cried in front of anyone.
"Katniss," he pleads, his voice breaking. "Please, I've spoken with nearly every merchant in town, there's nothing else! I don't have any choice..." he trails off.
"This is why I never wanted to fall in love," she whimpers, and his face crumples. She's only told him that she loves him once, just that one time a couple of weeks ago. "You'll go down there and you'll never come back." She turns away from him and walks a dozen paces before slumping to the ground. Her sobs ring through the quiet meadow, desperate and heart wrenching.
Katniss senses him kneeling in front of her but resolutely refuses to lift her head. She moves an arm to cover her mouth, muffling the awful choking sounds that speak of her agony.
"Is this about your dad?" His voice is right in her ear, gentle and soothing despite the words. She wants to be angry at him for bringing up her father, instead she cries harder.
"He never came back," she whispers, then a fresh round of sobs prevents her from continuing as 7 years of repressed pain erupts from deep inside. She feels herself being lifted from the ground but her eyes stay squeezed shut. Peeta holds her on his lap, speaking soothing words, rocking her gently.
When finally she calms she raises her swollen eyes and tear-stained face. "Please don't go. I need you," she admits simply. His arms tighten.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think... I never realized..." He sighs. "I'll figure something else out, Katniss. I'll find another way."
"We'll find a way," she corrects. "Together."
They sit in the meadow, wrapped in each other, for hours. Comfort turns into gentle kisses that grow more heated. They make love under a million stars, slowly, starting and stopping and starting again, both trying to draw out their pleasure, their connection. This time when he pulls out to spill his seed it's because her orgasm has triggered his own. And after, when they're laying together in the meadow grass, half-naked, sticky and sated, Katniss whispers, "I want us to have a future together too." Peeta's smile is brighter than the sun.
Their 'another way' presents itself only days later. Greasy Sae suffers a stroke, and while it's a mild one, she can't run her stall, at least for the time being. It's Mrs Everdeen who makes the suggestion that Peeta run it until Sae recovers.
Even confined to bed Sae drives a hard bargain, she has to since she's caring for an orphaned granddaughter as well as herself with what money she can bring in from the stall, but eventually she and Peeta agree to a 65/35 share of the profits.
He's been around the Hob so much over the past year that no one blinks when he's the one preparing the soups and stews. He sticks to Sae's recipes... for about 3 days. Soon Katniss notices he's taking a list with him when they go foraging in the woods before dawn, and the specific herbs and greens he seeks out start to flavour his daily wares. The changes in taste don't make much difference in sales at first.
But then he starts offering breads.
He's been experimenting with grains since the winter, laboriously grinding them by hand in a mortar and sifting painstakingly to make surprisingly fine flours. Now that summer is here he searches out wild barley, buckwheat, amaranth and maize, which he grinds and mixes with precious wheat flour from the grocer. The evening he serves at supper fluffy rolls that are virtually indistinguishable from what the bakery offers Prim pipes up, "you should sell these at the Hob!"
Katniss nods thoughtfully but when she turns to look at Peeta, seated beside her at the tiny table that takes up most of the Everdeen kitchen, he's frozen, pain written clearly across his face.
Mrs Everdeen somehow reads the situation and knows the right thing to say. "You don't owe them anything, Peeta," she says softly. Katniss sighs in understanding; he doesn't want to take business away from the bakery.
They haven't spoken much about his parents in the 7 months since he left the bakery, battered and bruised, bleeding from his head. Brann is a fairly frequent visitor to the little Seam shack, Rye and Libby have come a couple of times too but there hasn't been a single word from his father, and Katniss knows that hurts Peeta terribly, they had been very close before his mother's last attack.
Mrs Everdeen leans across to pat Peeta's hand. "I felt the same way at first, when my parents were still alive and I was starting to do some healing work in the Seam." Katniss never met her maternal grandparents, they ran the apothecary in town but they disowned their only child when she ran off to marry a miner from the Seam. Both are gone now, having never reconciled with their daughter. "But my parents made their choice," she continues. "And that was just one of the consequences. Your parents made a choice too, Peeta."
He's quiet the rest of the meal, excusing himself as soon as the dishes are done to sit on his pallet in the summer kitchen, alone. He stays in there all evening, skipping mandatory viewing of the Games and not even coming out to say good night.
Late in the night Katniss climbs out of bed for a glass of water and sees candle light shining from beneath his door. She seldom goes into the summer kitchen, it's Peeta's space, they all respect that he needs a place that's his own. But tonight she pushes the door open.
He's awake, sitting by the windowsill that holds various cloth covered bowls containing his bread starters, staring out into the darkness. He turns when he hears the door creak but he doesn't look surprised to see her. His face is lined with dried tear tracks that shine silver in the candle's glow.
"Why didn't they love me?" Her heart breaks at his words, Peeta is so sweet and kind and giving, if anyone deserves to be loved and cherished it's him.
She moves into his room and sits on the edge of the pallet that's served as his wholly inadequate bed since Yule. He joins her, and she winds her arms around him as tightly as she can, wishing she could put him someplace safe where no one could ever hurt him again.
"I just don't know," she murmurs into his soft curls, bleached almost white by the summer sun. "But it's their loss, Peeta. You are the best person I've ever met, and if they can't see that then they don't deserve you anyway." Her voice is a fierce whisper, choked with emotion. "You're not alone, Peeta. We are your family now. Me, Prim, Mom, we all love you so much." He sniffles, and she guides him to lie down, blowing out the candle and then curling herself around him.
They fall asleep that way and when the first fingers of dawn streak across the sky they awaken wrapped up in each other. "I'm going to bring breads to the stall," he says firmly and she simply nods.
To call Peeta's baked goods a hit would be an understatement. He sells out every day, partly because he charges far less than the bakery does and partly because his clientele at the Hob are the folks his mother makes feel unwelcome in town. He keeps his offerings simple; soft rolls made from mixed grains, oatcakes, and dense hearty breads sweetened with molasses. Though he's perfectly capable of making cookies and cakes, Katniss thinks he wants to leave some things the exclusive domain of his family's business.
Within a month he's more than doubled the profits at Greasy Sae's and she offers him a 50/50 share. Katniss thinks Sae's motivation is fear more than generosity, if Peeta opened his own stall he'd take away most of her business. As Sae grows stronger she and Peeta share more and more of the prep work, which frees up time for him to bake more and their profits continue to grow.
The 76th Hunger Games last 8 long weeks, spanning almost the entire summer, as if the game makers are trying to compensate for the previous year's debacle. But the end result is the same as every year, a 'career' tribute wins, this time from District 1, and the Capitolites complain of boredom during the post-games television specials. Katniss hears whispers of rebellions in the other districts but nothing happens in 12. They're just too small she thinks.
Katniss still tans leathers for Mr Cartwright, and he begins to teach her a little about shoe making. She's pretty good at that too, her arms are strong from years of using a bow and she understands how the leathers bend and stretch from having spent so much time skinning and tanning. Soon enough she's happily working a couple of days a week repairing shoes while Delly tends the front shop.
It's during a quiet day in the shoe shop that Delly excitedly gives her news. Things are getting serious with Weston, the florist's son, who Delly has been dating since school ended. She thinks he's going to ask her to marry him any day.
Though she's not physically demonstrative by nature, Katniss hugs her friend and congratulates her wholeheartedly. Delly has had a tough two years, losing her brother and mother, and watching her father bury himself in his work. She deserves to be happy. So Katniss smiles and nods as Delly waxes poetic about the flowers she hopes to have for her toasting. When she says she wants Peeta to make her cake, instead of the bakery, Katniss grins.
She realizes that she's lost the thread of the conversation when she hears Delly mention Peeta's father. "Sorry, what?" she says.
"I wondered if Peeta had made up with his father yet?" she repeats, and Katniss scowls. Delly hurries to explain. "It's just that Mr Mellark was so nice when we were young, he used to make us little dough boys and girls to play with and I know Peeta was his favourite."
Katniss fights to keep her temper in check, not entirely successfully. "It's been more than nine months, Delly and he hasn't once checked up on his 'favourite son'. Hasn't once visited, hasn't once made any attempt to speak to Peeta at all. That's not how you treat your own child! That's not something a 'nice' person would do!" Delly nods at Katniss's impassioned speech, flushing, and lets the subject drop. All is quiet in the shop.
After a while Delly turns to Katniss, her blonde brows furrowed. "Why aren't you and Peeta married yet?"
Katniss sighs, the easy answer would be 'because he hasn't asked me,' but it wouldn't be the whole truth. "You know that the stall Peeta is running isn't technically legal, right?" The Hob is a black market, officially it's prohibited to sell anything in the districts without an expensive license from the Capitol, but the peacekeepers turn a blind eye to the rules. Most of them are fairly frequent clients at the Hob, a peacekeeper's salary isn't much after all.
Delly nods. "So?" she questions.
Katniss stares at her hands uncomfortably. "Well they won't assign us a house unless one of us has a proper job," she admits. Hunting and selling in a black market aren't exactly the kind of jobs they could report to the authorities, so on paper she and Peeta are both unemployed dependents of Mrs Everdeen, despite the fact that they supply most of the household income. And marrying without being assigned a home of their own would be awkward, impossible really, given they share a little single bedroom shack with her mother and sister.
"Oh," Delly breathes, pouting sympathetically, but Katniss is spared whatever well-meaning platitude Delly might have offered when Mr Cartwright returns from an errand. Katniss tells herself it's better this way anyway, being prevented from marrying, though she's not as convinced of that as she used to be.
Delly is right; Weston proposes on the first of November. For the first time in a long, long time the little apartment above the shoe shop is filled with joy. Katniss and Peeta are having supper with the newly engaged couple and Mr Cartwright when Delly asks Peeta to make her cake. He beams, "Of course, Dell, I'd be honoured!"
Peeta is like a man possessed, searching out alternatives for the supplies that are common in the bakery but close to impossible to buy elsewhere. Katniss helps him crush berries and boil roots to make dyes for frosting and they all eat a lot of cake as he experiments with recreating the ultra fine cake flour that's essential for a good cake. But it's Brann who provides the final ingredient, sneaking a bottle of glycerin from the bakery for Peeta's fondant.
As the day approaches the ice box in the Everdeen kitchen is overrun by cake decorations. Peeta meticulously handcrafts dozens of perfect gum paste leaves, delicately hand painting each in shades of red, orange and yellow. When he assembles the two tiers and arranges the leaves to look like the forest floor Katniss is certain she's never seen anything more amazing.
Delly and Weston are married at the Justice Building on Saturday morning, and Peeta and Katniss follow them through the streets of town to the florist's house, where Peeta's cake will be served to guests who mingle under tents in the florist's extensive gardens, dormant for the year but still stunning. The actual toasting will be a private affair, held the first time the happy couple enter their newly assigned house, as is customary in District 12.
Though the majority of the merchant class shows up, Peeta's parents are conspicuously absent. Delly confesses it's because she told her new inlaws that they could have the Mellarks at the party or they could have Delly, but not both. "You're my oldest friend, Peeta," she says shyly and he hugs her hard, tears in his eyes.
...
Katniss continues to help Mr Cartwright, making and mending shoes and tanning leather, and gradually over many weeks she takes over more and more of the shop duties.
On a quiet morning just before spring they're working side by side when Mr Cartwright announces with no fanfare that he would like Katniss to officially become his apprentice. She's shocked; she loves working with him, his personality meshes well with hers and she genuinely enjoys the work, but it never occurred to her that it could possibly become something permanent, something real. An official apprenticeship would pretty much guarantee that she would take over the shoe shop when Mr Cartwright retired or died.
They file the paperwork at the Justice Building that very afternoon.
When she returns home she finds only Peeta there, Prim and Mrs Everdeen having left to help with the birth of a baby elsewhere in the Seam. Peeta has dinner already on the table, and he tries to make small talk, but Katniss is distracted and fidgets all through dinner. She's a terrible liar and secret keeping is difficult for her. Once the dishes are dried Peeta turns to her with a wary smile.
"Care to share what's on your mind, Miss Everdeen?" His tone is light and teasing but she can tell he's nervous. She grins, and rushes over to her game bag, leaving him confused.
When she places the papers in his hands he reads them first with a puzzled expression, then with a smile spreading across his face as comprehension dawns. "Katniss," he breathes, "Oh my goodness Katniss, this is incredible! Congratulations!" He picks her up and spins her wildly as she laughs.
"You're not upset that I signed them without speaking to you first?" she asks after they've kissed long and hard and are breathless.
"No, of course not, Sweetheart, this is an amazing opportunity for you!"
"For us," she corrects. "Do you know what this means, Peeta?" He shakes his head, smiling down at her, reflecting back her excitement even though he only understands half the reason. She screws up all of her courage before replying.
"They'll assign me a house now, all I have to do is ask." His eyes widen, as if he's afraid, but he says nothing. Katniss realizes that he thinks she's going to leave him, and her heart clenches.
"We could have a house of our own now, Peeta. Together. I mean, if... if you want to, you know..." She trails off awkwardly, Peeta is still frozen, like a deer staring down the line of her arrow. She sighs, a frustrated noise in the quiet of the shack. She's never been a good communicator, that's Peeta's specialty, and right now he's been rendered utterly mute by surprise. At least, she hopes it's surprise, and not horror.
She sucks in a deep breath, forcing herself to hold his eyes. "Marry me, Peeta," she says quietly. She can see the moment when it all finally clicks for him, his eyes start to shimmer with tears, and before she can say anything else he surges forward, kissing her, hands caressing her face, her hair, anywhere they find purchase.
In between kisses he murmurs over and over, "is this real?" and she laughingly assures him it is. With a whoop he scoops her up and carries her back to his little sleeping area, laying her on the pallet, peeling back the layers of her clothing reverently and worshipping her body with his mouth.
When his tongue touches her centre she forgets to worry that her mother or Prim could walk in at any minute and simply surrenders to the ecstasy he raises, her hands twisting in his curls.
After he's made her fall apart twice with his hands and mouth he slides into her waiting heat. As he moves in her he pants confessions in her ear, how he's wanted to marry her since he was five and he first heard her sing, how he's been in love with her longer than he's known what that meant, how she's starred in every fantasy he's ever had.
Much later, when they're lying entwined; sticky and sweaty and utterly spent, she says softly into the dark, "Was that a yes?" and he chuckles.
"A thousand times yes."
...