Hey everybody, I'm finally back. I hope you guys are doing well. It's been a busy few days for me getting ready to go back to uni and other stuff. I just got back to my house today. Oh, the fun begins again. I've finally got round to writing again, yay!

Updates to this and other stories may now be closer to a week and a half because of all the lovely reading and work I will have to do (insert groan here). I will do my best to update sooner where possible. Keep checking my profile for news and other info. Also feel free to ask me about it too. Just know that I will be getting it out as quickly as I possibly can.

We are now in double figures for chapters. Considering that this started off as a one-shot, it's gone pretty far.

Enjoy!

Victoria's POV

A ringing pierces through the air. I turn to locate the source of the sound. It is coming from my bedside table.

My alarm.

I turn over, trying to ignore the persistent ringing to little avail. The temptation to turn it off and go back to sleep is immense, but I manage to resist. I open my bleary eyes and drag myself out of bed. The rush of cold air causes me to shiver involuntarily. I silence the alarm and stumble over to my wardrobe, fumbling around for my clothes in the semi darkness. Once they have been located, I get dressed.

It's been a couple of days since mine and Kate's first date. Kate seemed to really enjoy it and I did too. I can't believe how well it went. I'll have to repay Max and Chloe somehow. I don't know what I would have done without them.

I pick up my phone and unlock it. No new messages. I place it back on the table and lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I haven't heard from Kate today. I'm starting to get worried. She usually texts me every morning without fail. It's not like I expect her to, I've told her as much, but she always does it anyway, which is why I'm worried. Maybe I should text her.

I stare at the phone in my hand and begin to text before I change my mind.

Victoria: Morning beautiful x

I sit up and shuffle to the edge of the bed, waiting for a reply. My foot taps nervously on the floor, listening out for the high pitched tone to alert me that Kate has replied. I stare at my phone, willing it to show me what I want to see. It doesn't. I run my fingers through my hair.

We always walk to class together. We try to spend as much time as possible with each other, even if its just doing our own thing in the same room. Yesterday, she said she was tired, so went to bed early. She looked exhausted. Recently, we've been sleeping in the same bed. Both of us seem to sleep better when someone is there. It's nice to have someone to cuddle up to, especially now when it's getting colder. I didn't want to wake her last night, so I slept in my own room. It felt really strange. It doesn't feel right when Kate isn't there. It is cold and lonely.

I check my phone again. Nothing…

I stand up and walk over to the mirror to check I am ready. I stand in front of it, peering into it's depths. A girl with short blonde hair and blue eyes materialises and stares back at me. She is familiar, yet different. My eyes close, memories seeping through.

In my mind, she has a smug look of condescension and superiority, one she practised every day in order to fulfil the role assigned by her parents, to keep everyone at arms-length, so that when she crushed them, it wouldn't make her crumble and feel guilt… that was the plan at least. It never worked. Every time she put someone down, it made her feel terrible and worthless, although she never divulged this deep dark secret to anyone. There was no room for weakness in the brutal world she grew to know. She saw how some enjoyed their work and could be successful without manipulating, coercing and annihilating the competition. How could they do the things she dreamed of without hurting others? She didn't want to admit that the trail of destruction she left in her wake could have been avoided. It wasn't her fault… right? Then, she took it too far and her whole world tipped.

I open my eyes.

Now… now the girl in the mirror has a twinkle in her eyes, her face relaxed, a smile ready to be released as soon as she sees the one person who means more to her than she could ever have imagined. The person she tried to ruin for no other reason than because she could. The person who, nevertheless, absolved the girl staring back at me of her horrific crimes. The person who she spends every waking and sleeping moment thinking about, trying to figure out ways of making that one person as happy as possible… Kate. I see her beautiful smile, hear her soothing violin, feel her warm hand.

You can't let the past define you. You make amends as best you can and learn from it to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday. You can't change the past, but you can't live in it either.

I stare at the girl intently, preparing myself.

The person who needs to forgive that girl in the mirror is me.

I take a deep breath.

'I forgive you.'

As I gaze into the mirror, I glimpse a small smile forming on her lips, her eyes soften and her body relaxes, as if a great burden has been lifted from her shoulders. I step away from the mirror.

Maybe I'm being a bit possessive. Kate can have some time to herself if she wants. It's not like I can expect her to spend all her spare time with me. Still… should I go check up on her?

I glance at my phone again to see the time. It's nearly time to go to Mr Jefferson's class.

She never misses a class, ever. Has she gone on ahead? No, Kate wouldn't do that. She was the one who suggested we walk together.

I worry my lip between my teeth.

Screw it.

I grab my phone, shoving it in my pocket and stride out of my room. I tread the path I have walked god knows how many times to Kate's room. I knock on the door.

'Kate?'

No answer.

I gently push on the door. It is open. I enter the room. The curtains are drawn, casting an impenetrable darkness before me.

'Kate, are you here?'

I hear shuffling and a small groan come from the bed. The covers move slightly, exposing Kate's face. Her cheeks flushed, her breathing heavy, her eyes sleepy, her hair no longer in the bun I am so accustomed to seeing. She feebly waves at me, her voice weak and hoarse.

'Hey, Victoria.'

I stride over to her and reach out, touching her forehead. She is burning up. Her hazel eyes meet mine. They are slightly bloodshot, dark circle forming underneath. She's looking pretty sorry for herself.

'I don't think I'll be making it today. You should go on ahead.'

Does she really think I would leave her in this state on her own?

I take on a commanding pose, arms crossed, face defiant, voice clear and confident.

'I'm not going anywhere.'

Even while she is looking at me, I can see she is having some difficulty focusing. Her eyes close momentarily.

'But…'

I cut her off, waving away whatever excuse she is about to provide.

'No buts. I am staying here and looking after you.'

She sighs but doesn't protest further. I'm not sure she could even if she wanted to. For all her attempts to make me leave, I swear I see her smile.

No-one wants to be alone, especially at times like this when you are at your most vulnerable. Kate always puts her needs second.

I open the blinds a little bit so I can see what I'm doing, but not too much that Kate would be blinded by the sudden intrusion of light. I drop Taylor a text.

She'll probably freak if I don't turn up without telling her.

Victoria: I won't be making it to Mr J's class today.

Sweet T: What happened?

Victoria: Kate's ill

Sweet T: You need any help?

Victoria: It's fine. I've got it under control

Sweet T: I'll make sure to take notes for both of you :)

Taylor doesn't usually bother taking notes from the classes.

Victoria: Thanks. You are a life saver

Sweet T: That's why I'm here. Speak to you soon. Tell Kate get well soon from me

I put my phone back in my pocket.

Now that's out of the way…

I take a step closer to Kate.

'Right, let's get you comfortable.'

I carefully move her into an upright position and fluff up her pillows. I lay her back down and straighten out her covers.

'Have you eaten yet?'

Kate shakes her head. I grab a glass from her desk and exit the room. I go to the shower room, rinse it out and fill it up.

I'll have to go out to the store and get some supplies. I want her to get better as soon as possible. Whatever it takes.

I make my way back to Kate's room and place the glass beside her bed.

'I'm going to go out for a bit to get some things. Don't you dare think of moving.'

Kate gives me a small smile.

'I won't. Not if you promise to come back, otherwise I might have to come and track you down.'

It's really great to have someone in your life who wants to see you and spend time with you. It's something new for me. I've never been the easiest of people to get on with so most don't even bother.

I brush my fingers against hers.

'I promise.'

…

I come back an hour later with a few bags full of supplies, ranging from medicine to food. I place it on Kate's floor. She lifts her head when she hears the door open.

I wonder if she was waiting all this time. She should have been asleep.

'You're back.'

Even though she is bed-ridden and probably miserable because of it, she still manages to smile when she sees me. I can't help but return her smile.

'Did you miss me?'

She looks at me earnestly.

'Of course I did.'

'Right answer.'

She manages to give me a small laugh. I reposition Kate so she is sitting up. I pass her a small container. She takes off the lid, releasing steam which swirls around her. Inside is some tomato soup. She glances up at me.

'Eat, please. I'm not letting you stop until I see at least half of it gone.'

Her eyes look off to the side, focusing on the covers.

'Can you…?'

She sighs.

'Never mind.'

What was she going to say? Kate, don't feel as if you can't ask me something.

'Please tell me what you were going to say.'

She bites her lip, her voice shy and quiet.

'I… I think I might have some trouble eating it without spilling it to be honest.'

It finally clicks what she would like me to do. I take the container back and submerge the spoon in the warm orange liquid. I lift it back out, steam rising from it.

It might be a bit too hot. I don't want her to burn her mouth.

'Is it ok if I blow on it?'

Kate lets out a weak laugh.

'Victoria, I think we've kissed enough times for that not to be a problem.'

She has a point.

I gently blow on the soup. Once I'm satisfied that it is cool enough, I slowly bring it to Kate's lips. I pay extra care to not spill it, that's the last thing either of us needs. She opens her mouth and eats the soup.

Would she have stayed like this all day on her own if I hadn't come? She would have struggled alone.

'Is it ok?'

Kate releases the spoon from her teeth. I take it back out of her mouth.

'It's great, thank you.'

We continue this routine until the entirety of the soup is gone. A few times I nearly spill it and once Kate coughs, narrowly avoiding getting soup on her forehead. I put the empty bowl on the desk.

'At least when I feed you, you don't get it all over your nose.'

Kate giggles. That musical sound which could bring me immediately from the deepest darkest depths of my mind.

'Yeah, I just nearly get it all over my forehead instead.'

Oh don't you even try to blame that on me.

'Hey, that was your fault, not mine.'

Kate gazes at me, her eyes gentle and loving.

'Touché.'

She appears to have perked up considerably. Her eyes begin to regain their usual sparkle, her kind smile slowly returning.

Sure, she still looks really ill, but at least now she is more herself.

I rummage around in one of the bags and find the carton of orange juice. I take out a box with some cold and flu medicine in it. Kate has finished the water, so I pour some of the juice into the now empty glass. I pop a few of the pills out of the plastic casing and hold them out to her.

'So which will it be, the blue pill or the red pill?'

Kate grins.

'You are such a nerd.'

Another of my guilty pleasures.

I push my hands closer to her.

'Which do you choose?'

Kate strokes her chin in contemplation.

'Let's see how far this rabbit hole goes.'

She takes the pills from my hand and the juice from the side. She swallows them with ease, washing them down with the juice. Her face crumples up a bit in disgust.

'You'd have thought they could have made a nicer tasting pill after all this time.'

Unfortunately taste isn't that significant in the effectiveness of medicine.

'As long as it does the job that is the important thing.'

The pills said they might make you feel drowsy, that might be a good thing though. Kate needs to sleep. I should leave her to it.

I tap her playfully on the nose with my index finger.

'Now, you need to get some rest. I'll just be in my room. I'll check up on you every half hour or so. If you need anything at all between those times, just give me a text.'

I go to turn away, but feel something tugging at my top. I look back to see Kate partially hanging out of the bed. If she moves much further, she will fall out.

'I can't sleep on my own… not without you.'

Her hazel eyes plead with me to stay. She is reaching out, trying to ground herself. There is a slight hint of desperation in her voice.

I have to admit, last night was the worst I have slept in a long time. I didn't realise Kate felt the same way.

I sit down on the bed, causing it to dip. I place my hand on her cheek.

I'm not usually good with showing my feelings. At least the old me wasn't. I have to change that in order to give Kate what she deserves and to be true to myself. I just need to speak the words in my heart.

'I find it hard to sleep without you by my side too.'

I climb into bed beside her, getting myself comfortable. Kate grips onto me as if I will disappear if she lets go. I find myself holding her just as tightly. After a while, she buries her face in my shoulder.

'I'm sorry.'

What I she apologising for?

'For what?'

Her mumbled voice can be heard.

'For you having to look after me, missing class and potentially giving you whatever I've got.'

Oh Kate…

I kiss the top of her head, which causes her to look up. I take a strand of her blonde hair and twirl it around my finger. It is darker than mine and much longer. It is soft too.

She's always so worried about other people that she often forgets to look after herself.

'There is no need to be sorry. I want to look after you, I'd rather be here with you than in class any day and I have a pretty strong immune system anyway. I would never regret any moment I spent with you, no matter under what circumstances or reason. Let me worry about you. It is my job as your girlfriend after all.'

Kate places her head on my chest.

'I just don't want you to feel like I'm a burden.'

Kate, you could never be a burden to me.

'You aren't. If anything, you're the reason I can get through the day. You know what I always look forward to?'

Kate's eyebrow raises questioningly, her eyes showing her curiosity. I kiss her cheek gently.

'The thought of being able to get back to you, to see you smiling and being able to hold you tight like right now. You help me get through each and every day.'

Kate is silent for a few moments. I wonder whether she has already fallen asleep.

It looks like the tablets are starting to take effect.

I yawn.

I guess it's my turn.

I am just about to close my eyes and succumb to sleep, when a quiet, yet confident voice permeates the silences.

'Not as much as you help me. I don't think you truly realise how much having you here means to me. I wouldn't be where I am now if not for you.'

I place my forehead against hers, our noses bumping together.

'Well, it's a good thing I don't plan on going anywhere then.'

Kate snuggles up closer to me, all worries long gone.

'A very good thing. I couldn't survive without my stubborn, yet caring girlfriend now, could I?'

…

Kate's POV

A few days later…

I smirk smugly.

'I thought you said you had a strong immune system.'

Victoria sighs and curls up tighter in the duvet.

For all her talk and bravado, she still managed to catch what I had. I told her she would.

'Alright, laugh it up.'

I perch myself on the edge of the bed and smile at her gently.

'I guess it's my turn to look after you.'

Did you pick up on the Matrix reference? I really should watch the Matrix. I knew about the whole blue/red pill thing and thought especially with the whole "You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes" it was quite relevant to the fic title.

Thanks to every one of you who has read the story so far. You are all amazing. Also, to those of you who have followed, favourited or left a review, I really cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.

I'm still not sure how long this fic will be, I guess until I run out of ideas. I'll try to keep it going for as long as possible. See you next time you beautiful people.