You don't know why you agreed to this. Graduation was in two days – you should be rewriting your speech for the 117th time, not sitting in this brightly lit café with the girl who had been the bane of your existence for the last three years. There were so many things that could go wrong, everything from her constant flirting to you accidentally agreeing to go on a second outing. At least the place served good parfaits.

You took a big scoop of yours, reveling in the taste of chocolate and caramel, and watched Nozomi chatter on. Something about cards? You had no idea. There were more important things to think about. Time was running out, and you still needed to find the culprit of the fire alarm. If you could puzzle the mystery out today then the duel could take place tomorrow, before everyone left for summer. You had been preparing for it all week.

"Alright." You interrupted Nozomi, setting your spoon down for the moment. "I agreed to come here so that you would share your information with me. Let's start."

"Ah, someone's impatient. Well, since we're already here," she licked her lips slowly, and you couldn't look away, "why don't we make it a game?"

"Seriously?"

"Don't be a party pooper, Eli, you're not going to make any friends that way."

You sat back and crossed your arms. "It's more like I can't get rid of them."

The grin that appeared on Nozomi's face told you that you had fallen right into her trap. "Oh? Does the lone wolf Eli consider simple old me a friend? I'm so honored~"

"Shut up." You shoved another spoonful of the parfait into your mouth, trying to rid yourself of the embarrassed blush you knew had appeared. "Just what game were you thinking of?"

"It's simple. You tell me your theories, and I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Fun, right?"

"Sounds aggravating to me. What exactly is stopping you from telling me the answer right now?"

"Because if I did that then you would leave right after I finished."

She wasn't wrong. Well, you would stay until you finished your parfait. You had paid for this delicious snack and you weren't leaving it behind. After that, though, then you would leave.

"Alright, fine. I'll agree to your terms."

"Perfect. You won't regret it." Nozomi leaned forward, elbows on the table and fingers interlaced as she smiled at you. "Who do you think set off the alarm?"

It was time to get down to business. You had spent all of your minimal free time this week putting together the pieces, and you think you had it down. Best to start off with the obvious though, make sure you didn't miss anything.

"It was definitely not Umi or Maki. Umi was busy in her shower, and Maki was occupied with studying. Neither of them had a motive to pull the alarm, and they couldn't have done it accidentally."

"Correct so far. But speaking of those two- any ideas on how I can get them to loosen up a bit? I was thinking an end of the year party, maybe sneak in some alcohol…"

You glared at Nozomi. "Don't you dare touch them. Those two are the last sane ones in this dorm, and don't you even think about corrupting them."

"Fine, fine. But only because you asked so nicely~"

You sighed. "Okay, next person. I'm going to say that Nico didn't do it. You remember her pulling it last year, right?"

"Oh, how could I ever forget?" Nozomi grinned at the memory, and you couldn't help but smile too. It was Nico's big prank for the year, pulling the alarm in the middle of the night. You could only laugh as you remembered her shocked face when smoke started seeping out of the building, orange flames flickering in the windows. The firemen praised Nico's quick thinking for catching the microwave's fire before it started; Nico just stood in shock.

"She wouldn't pull the alarm again, after that. Her excuse was wrong anyways; it would take a lot more than a hair straightener to trigger anything."

"Yep, that is all very true. But you're missing the most important part."

"Yeah?"

"Nico only pulls one prank a week, and she already stole the shower head that same day."

"Wasn't that your prank though?"

"Shhh." Nozomi held a finger to her lips and winked. "Umi hasn't found out yet, and I'm trying to keep it that way."

"What would you do if I told her right now?"

"Probably steal your parfait and eat it myself. That's a just punishment, don't you think?"

You wrapped your arms around your desert and pulled it closer to you, eyes narrowed. "Don't even try."

Nozomi laughed. "Oh, someone's possessive. But no worries, no worries. I don't like caramel, so I'll give that part back."

"Hmph." You took a big spoonful of your parfait, never taking your eyes off Nozomi. No one was taking away this chocolate from you.

"Alright, moving on. This is where it gets a bit harder. I think Rin and Honoka are innocent though. Honoka was moving around during the night, but she was back in her room well before the alarm went off, most likely asleep. She would have had to leave her room again to pull the alarm, and since Maki was in the lounge she would have seen her."

"Hmm, but wasn't Maki busy studying? Wouldn't she have been too preoccupied to notice?"

"Well…" That was a very good point. Maki would have mentioned seeing Honoka too. Probably. She could have easily accepted a bribe to stay quiet. But that didn't sit right with you. "Still, Honoka was asleep at the time. I don't think it was her."

"Then you are thinking correctly. Our little kazoo player is innocent. Well, innocent of this crime at least."

You decided not to ask what other crimes Honoka was getting up too under Nozomi's influence. You didn't want to know.

"Rin, then. She's a pretty big suspect, but the fact that she woke up in Maki's room clears her of that. It's possible that she hit the alarm and then traveled to Maki's room and woke up there, but I doubt it. I'm the RA- I have to check all the rooms after the alarm goes off. There's no way she could have walked all the way to Maki's room and still made it out of the building before I saw her."

"Maybe she jumped out the window."

You raised your eyebrow at Nozomi, who only gave you an innocent smile. "Are you trying to help or are you just making things up now?"

"It could happen."

"We live on the second floor."

"Rin's athletic."

"So am I, and you don't see me jumping out of windows."

"I'm sure I could change that."

"I'd rather you didn't."

Nozomi pouted. "Ah, you're no fun. But you are correct. Rin was not the culprit. Who's your next guess?"

"With the two of them out, that leaves only Kotori and Hanayo."

"What if I said I was the one who pulled it all along? Would you punch me?"

"No hesitation."

"So cruel. But you know, you're forgetting one another suspect."

"And who is that?"

"Yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I've heard more than a few people saying that you were the one who pulled it. Those three majors have finally driven you insane. All this detective work was just a cover for some grand scheme you came up with on a whim."

You took a big scoop of caramel sauce from your parfait and dropped it on top of Nozomi's ice cream. There was genuine horror on her face as she watched it drip down, her mouth open in dismay and her eyes wide. You felt satisfaction bubble up inside you, more than was probably necessary.

"What was that about me being cruel?"

You expected some joke – an "I'm breaking up with you", or a "your heart is colder than my ice cream" – but Nozomi didn't respond. She was staring at her ruined desert, spoon dangling loosely from her fingers, and you sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, that was mean." You shoved your own parfait across the table, having eaten nearly all of the caramel already, and swapped it for Nozomi's ruined one. "Better?"

Nozomi looked at it in disbelief, then up at you with a smile that was warm and sweet and true, and no , your heart didn't just skip a beat, your body was just mourning for all the chocolate you had just given away. Probably.

"A-anyways." You coughed awkwardly, trying to cover up your embarrassment. You think for once it may have worked, Nozomi too busy taking a spoonful of her new parfait, eyes closed in contentment, to notice. "Back on topic. Hanayo and Kotori. Both of them mentioned smoke, so it's possible that both of them pulled it. I would have said Kotori, since Hanayo was too busy with her rice to care about what smoke meant."

"Kotori would have mentioned if she had gone and pulled the alarm though, don't you think?"

You nodded. "Yes, she would have. Unlike certain people on this floor, she wouldn't lie about that."

"By certain people you mean Nico, right?" Nozomi grinned, back to her usual energy now that her parfait was safe.

"Sure, of course. Only Nico."

Nozomi stuck her tongue out at you and you smiled, rolling your eyes.

"Hanayo said that the showerhead smoked and made sparks, and when I checked it after the alarm it was partially melted. Just making popcorn sets off the alarm every few weeks, the showerhead could definitely cause it."

"Very true. But then you would have to fight poor, sweet Hanayo. Do you really want that?"

"No, no I don't. I don't think I'd have the heart." You didn't think you could even be mad at her. The girl was just trying her best. "But luckily I don't think it was her, despite all of that."

"Oh?"

"She made upwards of six bowls of rice, and she said the weird taste from the smoke had faded after the first two. Wouldn't it have gone off earlier then, when she was making those first few bowls?"

"That is a good point. How many bowls of rice is too many bowls for the microwave to handle?"

"I don't know." You ran a hand through your hair as you mulled over the options. You had been stuck on this all week. "But how could Kotori set off the alarm? She said she smelled smoke, but she's too far away from the microwave for it to have been the same smoke."

The twinkle in Nozomi's eyes told you that she knew exactly how. You had a feeling she wasn't going to tell you.

"Well, what did Kotori spend the night doing?"

"Sewing. That's obvious, she never does anything else. But it's not like her sewing machine burst into flames all of the sudden. I think she would have mentioned that."

"All very true. Kotori has yet to figure out her magical fire powers. What else did she do that night though?"

"Was there something else? Oh, wait, didn't Honoka visit her?"

Nozomi's grin grew wider. You ignored her, starting to put the pieces together.

"Honoka knocked over the sewing machine, didn't she? And spilled juice on herself in the process."

"Mm hm."

"And Kotori never cleaned it up, so if any of it got on the sewing machine… or even worse, on the plug…"

"Mmmmm hmmmm."

You sighed. "That was it, wasn't it? Honoka poured juice on the sewing machine, and then Kotori used it and smoke came out and set off the alarm."

"Bingo! Good job, detective."

Nozomi gave you a thumbs up. She seemed too cheerful about this overwhelmingly disappointing answer. Who were you supposed to fight now? Honoka didn't do it, technically, but you couldn't imagine fighting Kotori. You put your head down on the table and groaned.

"What am I supposed to do now, Nozomi?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't fight Kotori, I just can't. She's too innocent. She doesn't deserve it."

"Oh, so stone cold Eli does have a heart in there, deep down. How interesting."

You raised your head back up to shoot her a glare. "You're not helping."

"Of course not. Did you expect me to?"

"No."

Nozomi giggled. She was having way too much fun with this whole thing. If school wasn't over you had a feeling she would've pulled the alarm herself in a few weeks, just to reenact it. But at least then the answer would have been obvious.

"Why didn't Kotori mention that, though? She said that the juice spilled, but if she had said it was on the machine… She must have noticed. Why didn't she say anything about it?"

"Well…" Nozomi had a big grin on her face, and you couldn't help but be filled with dread. "It certainly was an alarming situation…"

"Don't-"

"…so she was probably too enamored by you to explain what happened…"

"Stop-"

"…since, after all, you are so hot…"

"I swear to god, Nozomi-"

"…one could say you're on fire."

You were swimming back to Russia.