**Please note that this chapter is really a big series of one-shots about the years leading up to the Quarter Quell**

We all walk together, Mags, Finnick, and I.

We take the long walk to the Victor's Village, but while we go, people stop and point at us, whispering. Seventeen year-old girls faint at the sight of Finnick, but most people from the rich side of 4 stop and stare and whisper.

"That's the new victor…"

"I hear she's gone mad…"

"Yeah, she's a lunatic, that one…" People say. Finnick holds my hand tighter because he hears them too, and he turns his head and gives them such a terrible look that they back down. Some of them even run. I feel bad for them because they're scared.

Finally, we reach the Village where I will be living from now on. The fence surrounding it is tall and iron, but Finnick unlocks the gate easily with his key. I gasp at the beauty of the Village. The path we're walking on is made of sandstone and is lined up with shells. There's a fountain in the middle with the shape of two mermaids made of pure white quartz and the water that comes from it is clear. The houses that line up on one side are all as white as the fountain.

They all look the same, with amazing columns that line up the elevated porch and an entrance with white staircases. There are grand windows on the front and the house is majestic and tall.

"That's yours, and the one on the left is Finnick's and the one on the front is mine." Mags says, pointing to a beautiful house on the end of the street. "They all have their private beaches on the back. You're going to love it here." We go to my house and open the doors. I gasp at the beauty of the entrance hall. The walls are painted white with a pattern of waves so that it looks like you're in the beach. There is a great spiral staircase in the back and a few doors that lead to the living room, kitchen, dining room, e.c.t. I enter the living room. It's as large as my house. Well, my family house. The couches are blue and there is a huge TV screen. One wall is missing and instead there's the kitchen. The kitchen is big, too. It has tons of space to put things in and a little islet in the middle. A door leads to the dining room, complete with a chandelier and a huge glass table. We walk through other rooms, like a playroom for future children and a small garden and smaller living rooms and a library. We climbed the spiral stairs afterwards and came into a grand hallway.

There are five rooms in the house, one of them being the master bedroom. It has white walls and a huge bed. They bed is really soft. There are a few windows, but not enough for my taste. On the wall opposite the bed, there are a series of closets where I would put my clothes.

I find it nice here, but I miss my home. My true home. But I'm not ready to go back. It's full of haunted memories.

"Finnick and I think it's better if you sleep at my house tonight, but it's your choice." Mags says. I think about it and decide that I do want to go with Mags. I'm afraid of sleeping on my own, as childish as it sounds.

"I would like that very much, thanks." I say kindly. Mags takes my hand and we cross over to her house, leaving Finnick behind to his.

Mags shows me a spare bedroom and I lie down. Sleep doesn't come for hours until I finally drift off.

I dream about my family and about them all drowning on our boat.

I wake up screaming.

Five days later…

"Annie, can you do me a favor?" Mags asks that morning. "Can you go to the market and get me some potatoes? I need them for tonight's dinner." The truth is that I rarely ever went to the market before the Games, but I say yes because you just don't say no to Mags.

I walk to the market, noticing the people that whisper behind my back that I'm mad. I don't defend myself because it's true. I'm mad, mad, mad.

I keep walking until I reach the market. The market is set up close to the Justice Building and is basically just a bunch of tents with food and tons of people. I look around, trying to find the potatoes, but they're nowhere to be seen.

"Hello, what's your name?" I hear someone ask. I see Finnick standing in front of me clutching an apple. At first I get angry and confused. Then I remember our conversation. I smile and answer:

"Annie Cresta."

"Finnick Odair. Let me tell you that you look lovely today." I blush and he laughs a bit. "Would you like to know where the potatoes are? A little birdie told me you need them." I laugh now and nod, lacing my arms around his.

"If you're going to call Mags a little birdie I doubt you'll live long enough to find them."

Later that day…

Finnick and I are watching the sunset on his private beach. We watch as the sun sets over the water, turning it pink and I'm proud to say that my description of it was perfect. Carolina had died with this sight.

I look at him and see how beautiful he looks with the setting sun's golden rays on his face. It's a comfort to know that he's even more beautiful on the inside.

"Annie. I want to tell you something." He says and smiles nervously. He looks at me and his eyes sparkle like the water. "You're like no girl I've ever met. You understand me. You help me, and you don't think I'm bad. You're different, and that's wonderful. And you're beautiful and gentle and kind, and- and I love you, Annie."

I gasp in shock because this can't be. It's impossible. A person like Finnick can't love me and I want to tell him that, but when I try, something else comes out:

"Can I kiss you?" I ask, surprised. He looks surprised, too, but when he smiles happiness flows into his eyes.

"You can always kiss me, Annie. No matter what." He says. I close my eyes and lean in and kiss him.

It's soft, but it allows me to explore his mouth. He tastes sweet, probably due to the sugarcubes he eats every day. He is gentle, not pushing too far, only just right.

We walk back to Mags' to eat dinner holding hands. When Mags opens the door, she looks us over. Then she smiles mischievously and I have that feeling that she knows something that I don't. The whole meal, she keeps looking at us and then back at her plate. Us then back at her plate. Us then back at her plate.

"So how was your day?" She finally asks. Finnick looks up from his plate. He'd been smiling at it dreamily all dinner.

"It was… fine." I answer.

"Nothing special?" She tried again. My cheeks go red, remembering Finnick's sweet lips.

"Mags, are you up to something?" Finnick asks.

"No, I'm just asking how your relationship came to be, that's all." She says. My cheeks turn an even brighter red.

"You knew?" Finnick asks her incredulously. Mags smiles even more mischievously. "Wait a minute, this was you plan all along! You told me to mentor her! You knew this would happen!" Finnick realizes when Mags starts laughing.

The next day…

I'm eating lunch with Finnick and Mags when I hear a phone ring.

"I'll get it." Finnick offers and he gets us and walks to the home phone. He picks it up and listens. I swear his face turns white instantly. He looks worried sick, so pale now. I get worried at what might be happening, but it's not until he puts down the phone and walks back to us that he tells us what happened.

"Who was that?" Mags asks.

"President Snow." Finnick says.

"Where am I?" I ask, confused.

"You're in your room, Shell. You fell asleep yesterday, watching the sunset." Cora replies. That makes sense, I know, but I feel like I should be somewhere else. I also feel a terrible worry. I don't know why, but I do.

"Cora?" I hear Spencer say from the kitchen. "I- I need help!" Oh no, I think. Cora rolls her eyes and goes to check what the problem is. A while later she comes back full of flour.

"Guess what?" She asks. "Spencer just dropped our last bag of wheat."

"Annie." A voice says. Suddenly, I'm back in the present.

"Sorry." I tell Finnick.

"Don't worry, Annie. It's ok. It's just that Snow called. He- he said that I couldn't show that I loved you to anyone. He says that the citizens in the Capitol would kill us if we did." I feel like a horrible weight has dropped on my shoulders. It's not fair that we can't love each other. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair.

The next day…

I can't sleep, and not only because of the monsters that haunt me or because I have discovered that I have the ability to enter a completely different world within my head. It's because I hate waking Mags up.

She's seventy-five. She needs her sleep, but I keep waking her up with my screams.

That's it, I tell myself. I can't stay here any longer. I walk out of the house, careful not to make a sound. The air outside is chilly and my pajamas are light. I try to walk towards my house, but I can't go in. I'm scared. I'm a coward, coward, coward.

Instead I go to Finnick's house. The door is unlocked in case Mags ever needs anything and I slip in soundlessly.

I walk up the staircase and knock on the door to his room. It opens and I see a very sleepy, but handsome, Finnick Odair. He's wearing pants only, leaving his chest bare. I blush a deep red even though I know that he loves me.

He pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I ask him.

"Of course, Annie." He says. "There are spare rooms down the hall. Take your pick." I nod and head down.

I have nightmares as bad as before and I can't sleep at all.

Two days later…

"Goodnight." I say to Finnick after kissing him. I walk to my bedroom down the hall. I climb in my bed and let the darkness engulf me. I see shadows on the walls that look like people and I have to try hard to calm down, telling myself it's not real, it's not real, it's not real.

I have a dream that I'm with Tyson in the arena and that his head is getting cut off. I watch Tobias cut it off, little by little by little.

"Give your little boyfriend a kiss!" Tobias says, but the head he's holding is now Finnick's and he brings it closer and the second my lips touch his I'm running straight out of my bed.

I run through the hallways, trying to clear my head of the horrid images until I find the right door. I open it and it wakes Finnick up.

"Can I stay here with you?" I ask nervously, afraid I'm asking for too much.

"Of course, Annie."

I scramble to get in. Then I lie down next to him, putting my hand on his bare chest. Then I remember about his clients.

"Is this ok?" He nods so I relax and he puts his arms around my waist.

I don't have a single nightmare that night.

Five months later...

I feel a soft kiss on my lips, then my forehead, then my cheeks, and then my lips again.

I don't open my eyes, though. Instead I enjoy the feeling of Finnick's lips on mine. Finally, I decide it's too much and my eyes flutter open.

"Happy birthday, Annie." He whispers. Oh my god, I'd almost forgotten. It's August 28th. It is my birthday. With all those nightmares and monsters and heads and blood I'd forgotten.

I'm eighteen now. I decide to have fun today, because Carolina never got to have an eighteenth birthday, so I'm going to enjoy it for her.

I sit up and kick off the blankets I share with him. I go to my closet, which has a few clothes and personal belongings from my old room, and pick out a dress.

This one is my favorite for going to the beach. It's white and flowy and soft. I go to the bathroom and change into my dress, then I put my hair up in a ponytail. Unsatisfied, I put my hair back down and simply take two strands of hair at the front and tie them together at the back of my head. I go back out and see that Finnick is normally dressed in a light shirt that to me seems to warm for late August.

"Can I put my hands over your eyes?" He asks. I think about it for a while. I hate the dark more than anything, but it's Finnick and he would never hurt me.

"Sure." He comes towards me and puts his hands on my eyes, making the world black.

I walk in the darkness, but with Finnick's help we reach our destination easily.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yes." I answer, and he uncovers my eyes.

I'm looking at our kitchen (I decided long ago to simply accept the fact that I live here now). Mags is here, holing a messy cake. The cake has blue icing and has sugarcubes placed here and there. The frosting is not smooth at all, but in tufts. I can tell Finnick made it. I love it, I love Mags, and I love him.

"Like it?" Finnick asks with some hope in his voice. I smile brightly at the delicious cake and at Mags and then I turn around and kiss him. He responds with enthusiasm, lifting me off my feet and twirling me in the air.

"Happy birthday, love." He whispers between kisses. Finally, we break apart and help Mags take the cake to our beach.

We eat in the bright white sand, enjoying the cake and playing games. Suddenly, Finnick lifts me up and carries me into the sea, dropping me in. I get out of the water with my dress dripping wet to meet a hysterical Mags and Finnick.

"Well that was not very nice." I say with my hands on my hips, even though I had fun too. Finnick laughs then says:

"Come, Annie, I want to show you something." He takes my hand and leads me to the sea. We walk in together, not caring that we're both wearing clothes. We keep walking until the water is up to our chins. Then Finnick says:

"Take a lot of air and go under." I do as he tell me and go under the bright blue water of our little beach. I open my eyes and I've done it so many times already that it doesn't bother me. I turn to see Finnick swimming by me, holding my hand. We swim out until I'm positive that we're several miles underneath the surface. Then he points ahead and I see tons of beautiful coral. They're every color: bright pink, soft orange, dark purple, even green and blue.

We only come up occasionally to get air, but we spend hours exploring the beautiful reef. It's not until the sun has set that we're back on the beach. I'm wrinkled and tired, but I feel great.

Two days later…

(This is what a regular day would be like for Finnick and Annie)

The knife is in my hand and suddenly it's not. It's now stuck in Johnathan's chest. I don't have time to think about what I'd done. I am rushing toward Carolina, who's sprawled out on the dirt floor.

I scream as I wake up, still seeing the images from my Games.

"It's ok, Annie. You're safe here." Finnick says, holding me tight like he does every night. I nod repeatedly, trying to convince myself that I'm safe with Finnick. After a few minutes of shaking with fear, I manage to fall back asleep.

I hear moving and I know Finnick's awake now. I feel lips on mine, which only confirms my suspicion. As great as it feels, I know I have to open my eyes.

"Good morning, Finn." I tell him. He smiles against my mouth and I get up. I quickly change in the bathroom into a nice white dress. Almost all of my dresses are white; I like simple colors. I brush my hair and leave it down, which I find more comfortable. I go back into our room and I have an idea. I pretend to stretch while I say:

"Finnick?"

"Yeah?"

"Race you down!" I exclaim, running to the kitchen.

"Hey! That's not fair!" I hear him say. I run down the stairs and I'm almost to the kitchen when I feel two strong hands on my waist, lifting me into the air. I can't run anymore.

"Hey!" I chide. But he doesn't put me down, instead, he turns me around so I'm facing the stairs and then takes off towards the kitchen. I run after him, but I'm too slow.

"I win!" He says victoriously. I kiss him, making it seem long but cutting it short, leaving him wanting more. That's his punishment for cheating.

We prepare breakfast, which for us is basically just coffee and some cookies. Finnick makes jokes and we laugh, enjoying our morning together. We sit on the couch and watch TV to relax.

"Hello, I'm Tristan Blue, here to give you the news." Tristan Blue is the news reporter for District 4. "Do you live near the Victor's Village? If so, you will know what I'm talking about. For the past two months, new victor Annie Cresta has been screaming every night, waking us up. Poor girl's gone mad, but will she have to keep us up all night? If you're watching this, Annie, get a hold of yourself!" Finnick's coffee mug shatters and he rushes to change the channel.

"Why are you crying?" Arnav asks. Truth is: I don't know.

"I don't know. I just feel sad." I tell him. He comes over to me and gives me a hug.

"Are you still sad?" He asks.

"No, Arnav, thank you. Can you call Finnick for me, though?" I ask him. All of a sudden, I regret it. Why would Finnick Odair want to know about me? I still have a strange feeling that he would.

"Finnick Odair? Are you ok, Annie? Do you want me to call Daddy?" He asks.

"No, I'm sorry, Arnav, I just had a dream, that's all." Yes, a dream, that's it.

"We're back!" I hear Cora yell from the entrance. Arnav rushes to hug her and I follow him, knowing that Cora and Spencer will need help with their bags. They went shopping for the wedding.

"Can I get those for you?" I ask them. Cora smiles and nods. Spencer almost trips over something on the floor and Cora has to right him. It's almost funny how much Spencer needs Cora to ground him and how much Cora needs him to help her have fun.

At first I think I'm alone. Then I turn my head and see Finnick looking at me.

"How long was I Away?" I ask him.

"An hour." He answers. I feel terrible, he's probably been sitting there for an hour, waiting for me to come back to him.

"Let's go to the beach." I say because I have fallen in love with our little beach with bright, soft, sand, and water of the purest aqua.

We walk around the outside of the house, holding hands, and get to our little paradise.

I look at him at the same time as he looks at me and we make a silent decision. We run towards the water.

We jump in together, holding hands, and soaking our clothes. We both surface and I splash him and he splashes me and water gets into my eyes and mouth but I don't care. I get an idea. I go under, not coming out in a long time, but meanwhile I'm traveling between Finnick's legs. When I finally surface again it's behind him and instantly, I jump on his back. I'm not strong enough to pull him under, though. Instead, he grabs me and brings me to his front. Then he twirls me, bridal style. My arms are around his neck and one of his arms supports my legs and the other my back. He twirls me fast and I get dizzy. The world spins around me in a beautiful mass of colors and shapes and I laugh because I love him and I love our beach and I love us. For a moment I allow myself to believe that everything is alright. That there is no Hunger Games and that my family is waiting for me at home and Finnick and I are together and we show it to the world whenever we want to.

Finally he puts me down and helps me steady myself. I decide to float like I used to do. Just float on the water. I lie down and let it carry me. I don't think. It's just me and the water now. Just me and the water.

"You know you look like an angel when you do that?" Finnick says after a while. "With your hair spread out over the water and your white dress that looks like wings. You're the most beautiful angel I've ever set my eyes upon." I smile peacefully and I'm not looking at the blue sky anymore but at a pair of green oceans.

"Hey." I whisper.

"Hey." He whispers back, leaning in for a kiss. I let him, and we kiss passionately. He picks me up, still kissing me, and carries me to shore.

"Come on." I tell him, smiling into his lips. "Let's go eat lunch." We walk to Mags's house, holding hands, our lips swollen from kissing.

We knock on the door and Mags opens up. When she sees us she smiles happily and lets us in.

"Lobster for lunch!" She tells us when we're sitting down at the table. I live lobster quite a bit, I hadn't had it since before the Games. She brings it in and I look at it and notice it's very red. Finnick notices too, because his eyes go big. The lobster is red, red, red, like blood. Tyson had blood, he was covered up in it. Carolina had blood, too. I wonder if I have blood that red. And, does Finnick? I hope I never see blood that red again. I don't realize I'm screaming until Finnick has his arms around me. My face is wet, I suppose I had been crying. I check to make sure my tears aren't made of blood. They're not. If they had been, they would look like Tyson's little blood snakes. I remember those little blood snakes just fine.

"Annie, it's alright. You're with me and Mags and you're safe. You're in District 4. You're safe." He says, holding me close. Mags hugs me next, and she looks very sad.

"It's ok, Mags. I know you didn't mean to. I'll eat the lobster, if you want." Mags shakes her head and strokes my hair. She leaves the room again and I'm left with Finnick. He doesn't talk. He just rocks me back and forth.

Finally, Mags comes back carrying a few sandwiches. We eat in silence and when we're done, Mags says:

"Well, you two should go to the market. I need some apples, oranges, and bananas." I don't want to go. I wouldn't ever leave the Victor's Village if I could. It's not like I used to go anywhere much before the Games, either, just the beach. People out there are mean, they're bad. They're not monsters, like I am, but they hurt me. I grew up liking everyone, thinking each person out there acted on kindness like I tried to. But I was wrong. I know that now. I laugh because it's funny that now, I'm mad, mad, mad, and yet I know more about others. Before I was sane, but I was blind. I wish I could be blind again. I wish I could simply not notice the people talking behind my back about how crazy I am. But I know now.

The worst part of being outside isn't that people whisper as I pass by, or the occasional trip. It's that I can't kiss my Finnick. I can't hold his hand. I can't hug him. I can only look at him and wish for the freedom that other couples get. The freedom to talk, to touch, and to kiss.

Finnick and I walk out a bit sadder than before. He doesn't like being outside, either.

We begin walking. Finnick keeps his head held high while I hide within myself. Because that's what people expect. If there is one thing I've learned from the arena is that "people" is the enemy.

It feels like forever has passed when we are back on Mags's front steps. We give her the fruit and go into the living room. There, we play games like puzzles or cards.

Finnick and I eat dinner with Mags, then we go back home to sleep. I change into my pajamas and Finnick into his and we get into bed. I like our bed very much. It's safe, like our little beach. We don't have to pretend we're anything other than ourselves. There, we're not the Capitol sex god and the mad girl. We're just Finnick and Annie.

Some time later...

I'm lying on our bed beside Finnick. We had decided to sped the day doing absolutely nothing. Just be together.

"Finnick? What would you want your future to be like?" I ask him. He takes my hand and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I want to spend it with you." He stops and thinks something over, then he keeps going: "In a little house by the sea, with sand on our floor and the sound of the waves breaking over rocks."

"I want a ring on my finger, Finnick. I want children with sea-green eyes and golden hair who laugh and play all day and whose names are never in a glass bowl. I want to wake up to the golden sky and go to the beach all day."

"All I ever wanted was a family." He whispers. "I grew up without a father, wanting to be loved by more than just one person. All I wanted since I was small was a family. I wanted a daddy that would take me fishing and some siblings to play with. I didn't want my mom to be stressed all day. I just wanted a family." A tear slides down his cheek and he chokes up a little. To help him, I continue talking about the wonderful future we will have, or would have, if it wasn't for the Games.

"We'll live in a small house, not like this one. As far away from the Village as we can get. Where there'd be no Games."

"We could go on picnics on the golden sand, and our children will make shells to decorate it, and we could help them. You could teach them how to fish. We could go outside and play with them."

"We could be happy."

Some weeks later…

I open my eyes and check the time, waiting until the last moment to wake Finnick. We hardly gets sleep between my constant screaming and his nightmares. The clock reads 7:30.

"Oh, no! Finnick, wake up! My stylists will be here in half an hour!" Finnick jumps up, wide awake now. Today is the start of the Victory Tour, something I'm not looking forwards to, and my stylists obviously can't know I sleep with Finnick Odair.

We kick the heavy blankets off and run to change. I quickly brush my teeth and hair and drink a small cup of coffee.

"See you soon!" I tell Finnick as I kiss him goodbye. Then I run to my house.

Ten minutes later I hear a knock on my door.

"Hello Rosalie! Florio! Tigris! Louis! Garcia! Come in!" I tell them, faking excitement.

"How wonderful it is to see you again, darling." Garcia says.

"Yes! Wonderful!" Florio repeats.

"Good to see you're eating again." Louis says with a wink.

"Well, don't waste any more time or we'll miss the train!" Garcia chides. We all walk upstairs to my bathroom, which is neat and clean. They just don't know it's from disuse.

I take a quick shower and then sit down on a stool that Louis bring. Afterwards, Rosalie gets started on my makeup. She doesn't so much, just cover my freckles and hide the bags under my eyes. Finally, Tigris curls my hair and announces that we will be going to Finnick's house to get him ready. Rosalie, Garcia, and she practically run outside. Louis takes my arm and we go to Finnick's house.

The girls fight for who is going to knock, but there is no need. The door opens and Finnick appears, dashing as ever.

"Come in, ladies." He says with a wink to no one in particular. His eyes flicker to mine and it says all of the unsaid: Hey, love. Are you feeling alright? I hope they're not giving you a hard time.

"Welcome, to Finnick Odair's house! I give you a tour, Annie. I've been here a lot." Garcia says, winking at me like she comes here every weekend. She takes my arm and walk further into our house, slightly brushing Finnick as she passes by. Finnick smiles at her charmingly, but I see what's underneath that smile. Its years of loathing and disgust and the urge to lie down and cry.

"So, Annie, this is the kitchen. Come a little further and you'll see the living room…" I pay attention, but just to be polite. I know this house like the back of my hand. I could draw it with my eyes closed. "… And, up there is the bedroom. Well, you can imagine what steamy things go on in there." She giggles and I laugh because I'm thinking about the steamy things that happen in his bedroom just yesterday. Finnick and I got into a fight. A pillow fight.

It was a ton of fun. It started when I was walking out of the room in the morning and he took a pillow and hit me softly, but I took it personally. I picked up another pillow and hit him hard, then it evolved into a huge pillow fight. We ended up exhausted, lying in our bed.

"Alright, I'm ready." Finnick says, appearing from another door. Garcia walks out, expecting to be followed. I am about to go after her when Finnick puts his arm on my shoulder.

"One minute, Garcia. Mentor-Victor talk." Garcia shrugs and keeps walking, but her disappointment is obvious. Finnick closes the door and hugs me, holding my head from behind and his other arm on my waist. It is the way he'd held me all those months ago, when I saw him cry for the first time. It means he wants help, but he wants to protect me at the same time.

"I hate her." I say. That adds to the growing list of people that I hate. Snow, myself, Garcia.

"I hate her, too. Annie, she bought me. She does every year. She is one of the worst. I hate her." The realization struck me like lightning and I almost fell. Garcia's hands have been on his body, my Finnick's body. Hands that I trusted. I trusted her. She took him, she makes him cry, she makes him sob on my shoulders, and she makes him want to die.

I kiss him softly, in a comforting way, until he relaxes.

"Better?" I whisper to him soothingly.

"Better." He whispers back as he delivers one more kiss. We hear the door open and we jump apart, separated once more by this cruel world.

"Come on! Time to go." Louis says. I try to convince myself that it's all right, that the Victory Tour won't be that hard. But it's really Finnick's comforting hand that convinces me of it. We walk out and into the train. I don't want to leave District 4. I don't want to leave our house. I want to lie down on our little beach or float or stay in bed.

Garcia takes my arm and leads me to my compartment.

"Come out when you're ready." She says, knowing that I'm about to cry. She shuts the door and I break down, sobbing into my hands. I don't want to go back! The people in the Capitol are bad, bad, bad. The door opens.

"Annie, you dropped your bags! There is glass in there!" Cora yelps. I look down and see two bags on the floor. I pick them up, checking for broken glass.

"Nothing broke, Cora." I tell her. She calms down and returns to carrying bags of decorations. Stephen grabs her from behind, something she hates to love, and lifts her into the air. I turn around, feeling as if I am intruding in a private moment. Suddenly I get an image in my mind of someone doing that to me, but that's crazy. I have never kissed a boy before. But I still have a memory of sweetness I can't explain.

I feel someone's arms around me, and I'm not standing anymore, I'm sitting on the floor, my head on someone's chest. I feel rhythmic kisses, soft and gentle, on my head. I look up and one of them lands on my mouth.

"Are you Back?" Finnick asks, sounding tired.

"I'm back." I tell him. I allow myself to relax and sleep in Finnick's arms.

I feel around the small bed, but it's empty. Finnick is gone. What if he's dead?!

"Finnick! Finnick!" I scream. The door opens and he runs in, his pupils small in fear. He's tense all over, but I run and hug him. He strokes my hair and whispers calming words until there is a knock on the door. We jump away from each other just in time.

"Come on! We arrive in District 6 in an hour!" Garcia tells us. She looks us over and frowns.

"I just came in, Garcia. You know that I only love one girl." Yes, he does, and it's me.

I walk out, wanting to shove Garcia, but I can't bring myself to it. I'm too soft even to hurt the most repulsive beings.

"Alright, just keep in mind what happens when you get to the Capitol." Then she leaves, leaving Finnick and I in shock. I turn around to look at Finnick, but it happens in slow motion. By the time I get to him, tears are already falling from his eyes. I take him in my room and close the door. I take his hand and sit on my bed, pulling him down with me.

"Annie, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He keeps whispering. I shake my head, not knowing why he was apologizing but wanting to help.

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Y-yes I do. I'm sorry that you have to be landed with me. I'm sorry that every time I touch you, it's with these dirt hands. I'm sorry that you weren't my first kiss. I'm sorry that you have to love such a horrible person. I'm so sorry, Annie. I'm so sorry." I look at him in the eye and take his hands to my mouth. I kiss them over and over, until there is no place left for me to kiss. Then I kiss his lips over and over until I taste like him. Then I take his hand at put it over my heart.

"You're not a monster." I tell him.

An hour later…

"Welcome to District 6." The mayor tells us as he leads us through. He opens the door and the first thing I notice is the light. Then the unusual cheers. Normally, when a tribute wins, the other Districts don't cheer. They just hold eerie silence. I don't understand for a minute until I remember that the man I love is the most loved man in all of Panem. I look at him and see he's looking at his feet, smiling. He lifts his head up and lets all the people see his most dashing smile.

The mayor says a few words, introducing me to the people. Then I read from the card Garcia gave me, not thinking about the words, like Finnick had instructed.

Half a year later…

"Welcome! To the 71st annual Hunger Games, where we choose, one fortunate man and woman, to compete in this luxury event! Now we will choose our two tributes. As usual: ladies first!" Garcia walks to the glass container that has my name in it. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. I look at Finnick, who's standing on the stage. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me.

Garcia brings her hand into it and plucks out a piece of paper.

I start screaming, covering my ears so I don't have to hear her say Annie Cresta.

I feel Mags holding me, but I don't stop screaming. If I don't hear it, it's not true.

I feel two pairs of strong arms under my arms, lifting me up and carrying me away. They shove me to the ground in front of the Victor's Village and say:

"Annie Cresta, you are now banned from going to the Reapings." And with that, the two Peacekeepers leave, leaving me alone one the cold ground.

Four (mostly happy) years later…

I float on the cool water of the beach in front of the Justice Building, my white dress and hair fanning out from all sides. Every time I do this, Finnick tells me I look like an angel.

Right now, Finnick in the Capitol, and only a street from here, everyone else is watching the reaping replays. The water drowns out most sound, so I have no idea about who else is getting picked. It's just me and the water, me and the water, me and the water…

Then I hear screams. I swim as fast as I can, getting to shore. I run in my wet dress to the plaza, hoping I'm not too late.

I look at the large screen that shows all the other kids. That's where the screaming comes from. I see a teenage girl run to hug a little girl, around twelve. The older girl is screaming:

"I volunteer! I volunteer!" As she runs at the youth. That's strange. No one ever screams when they volunteer. Unless…

I hope the girl wins. I hope she goes out there and wins and comes back home and makes her sister happy.

Cora would have done the same for me.