Disclaimer: First Chapter
Story Start!

'Wow... brutal...' Natsu thought as he walked through Magnolia town with the... Erza-look-a-like (Naruto) on top of Virgo's shoulders. He couldn't help but he surprised at how Naruto was forced Virgo to keep her upper body lowered, while her arms were tied behind her back. She was gagged to prevent her from talking, while Naruto casually read a book on top of her. Virgo couldn't talk, she was having trouble keeping her balance, and she couldn't use her arms to fix that.

Her cheeks were red from the enjoyment that this punishment was bringing her.

"You smell like Erza and Mirajane had a baby" Happy told Naruto, who ignored the cat and looked at Lucy for a moment.

She was giving him a small distance, while Natsu was scared of Naruto's rage, he didn't actually back away from Naruto when he wasn't annoyed. Natsu had quickly gotten used to Naruto.

"Surprise attack!" Natsu shouted out, and Naruto slammed his fist into the top of Natsu's head, smashing him into the ground.

"I am a farmer apparently." Naruto pointed out as he looked at the large building that was Fairy Tail. Natsu pulled himself out of the ground and grinned when he saw Fairy Tail in sight, and grabbing Lucy, he ran towards the building. Naruto wasn't in a rush, so he just enjoyed his position on top of Virgo.

She really enjoyed these punishements.

Of course she did, she was the one that created the damn list that she believed were suitable punishments. Also, of course since she liked being punished, she was going to do things that would make it so that she deserved getting punished.

Which was why Naruto gagged her to prevent her from talking.

Naruto noticed the stares that he was getting, and Virgo walked them into Fairy Tail. Naruto hopped down off of Virgo, while Naruto raised an eyebrow when he saw the entire guild was already fighting. They were throwing barrels, punching, kicking, that one chick was scratching. He could see somebody biting, and finally, Naruto twitched in annoyance when a bottle hit him in the face.

Naruto glared at the guild, and they froze.

"Oh shit, Erza!"

Naruto walked towards the bar without saying a word, and the guild parted to make way for him. Naruto sat down in front of Mirajane, who didn't exactly recognize him.

"Erza... Did you get a haircut?" Mirajane asked Naruto, and everyone was silent as the grave. Naruto looked towards Mirajane with a pleasant smile. She looked just like her corpse did... though alive, and breathing. She really was super beautiful, though he already knew that much from seeing her preserved body.

"I'm Naruto, a farmer." Naruto told her, and the second he talked the sound of his voice told Mirajane that he wasn't Erza.

"Farming is a hard job, you seem like such a delicate-" Mirajane started to compliment Naruto, who stood up and grabbed Natsu by the face.

Naruto slammed Natsu down into the wooden floor, with his feet sticking up into the air.

"I'm a farmer who plants dumbasses into the ground." Naruto told her as he sat back down with a self-satisifed look. Nobody laughed at his joke, other than a completely butt ass naked many with spiky black hair. He was well toned, but it must have been cold in here because there was some shrinkage going on. He didn't seem to realize he was naked, though if he was butt naked that let Naruto know his identity at least.

Gray, an Ice-Make Mage.

"Ha! You got destroyed again by Erza!" Gray shouted out, and Naruto ignored Gray for a few moments. "What did the dumbass do to piss you off this time Erza?" Gray asked as he got closer to Naruto.

He didn't see the fist that slammed into his fist, sending him up into the roof, his head implanting into the ceiling.

"My name is Naruto. I am not Erza, we just share DNA is all." Naruto said in the most simple of ways possible. Mirajane smiled slyly as she slid a piece of strawberry cake in front of Naruto. Naruto's nose twitched, before he opened his mouth. With one bite he simply engulfed the entire cake with one bite. Naruto spat the fork that had been sticking in the cake out, and it stuck in the wood of the bar.

Naruto didn't even blush at being caught.

"Woah, you are Mirajane!" Lucy shouted out as she approached the bar now that the fighting had been ended. Lucy was holding a magazine with Mirajane's picture on it, and Naruto didn't really care all that much when Mirajane gave him more cake.

"Can you also get me some ramen?" Naruto asked her, and she nodded her head, she would be more than happy to do that.

"Coming right up... Bad Master." Mirajane said as she slapped an old man who had touched her butt when she passed by. Naruto raised an eyebrow at the perverted old man, who was like 2 feet tall at most. He was wrinkled, but he was wearing an epic orange hat that Naruto wanted.

"I love your hat, and I want one." Naruto told the old man with a glint in his eye.

He wanted that hat.

"Thanks young..." The old man paused, as if he was confused as to Naruto's gender. He could sense that Naruto wasn't a woman, but looking at him was a different story. Naruto smiled and nodded to the old man.

"I don't care what people call me. I know what I look like." Naruto told the man, knowing what it was like to look at himself. If it weren't for the very important sex organ, although very small, between his legs then Naruto would have forgotten what his own gender was by now.

So, he stopped caring what gender people knew him as.

"Well, I am Makarov, the Guild Master of Fairy Tail. You're cute, want to join Fairy Tail?" Makarov asked Naruto as he held a stamp out for Naruto. Naruto nodded his head. He lifted the back of his hair up to show that at the nape of his neck he had a Red Uzumaki swirl. Naruto pointed to the skin above it. Makarov pressed the stamp down on Naruto's neck, and the magical stamp imprinted onto Naruto.

"It is that easy to join!?"

The surprised shout alerted Naruto to the fact that Lucy had witnessed how easy it was to become a member of Fairy Tail. Makarov would never turn down a cute person, sexy person, or simply a woman in general. Heck, he didn't even really turn down men for entry into Fairy Tail.

"Do you also want to join?" Makarov asked, while Naruto looked towards Virgo, and Mirajane noticed Virgo as well.

"Oh, hello, sorry, but can I get you something?" Mirajane asked as she set a bowl of ramen in front of Naruto. Mirajane sweat dropped when she saw that Virgo's arms were still tied behind her back.

"Hey Natsu, I got a mark!" Lucy called out to Natsu as she showed off her new pink fairy tail mark on her hand. Naruto raised an eyebrow when Natsu pulled himself out of the ground, and Gray fell out of the ceiling and landed on Natsu. The two boys ignored Lucy, but Lucy couldn't ignore Gray as she screamed, eyes covered.

"Oh shit, my clothes!?" Gray yelled out as he started to search around for something to wear.

Natsu and Gray froze when Naruto glared at them.

"I am about to have ramen. Fair warning, if you don't want your ass kicked, don't fight. Kick each other's asses after my meal." Naruto warned them.

Nobody ruined his ramen eating mood.

"Aye!" Natsu and Gray shouted out as they were practically hugging each other, only for Natsu to jump as far away from the naked Gray as possible.

"Lets eat!" Naruto shouted out, and just as he was about to take a bite, Virgo pulled the bowl out from under his chopsticks. "... You better have a reason for that." Naruto warned Virgo with his eyes almost turning red.

You do NOT fuck with his ramen.

"So, are you two dating?" Mirajane asked with a smile on her face, her cheeks covered by her hands as she leaned over the bar. She loved gossip of all kinds, and two "girls" dating was just the juicy gossip that she really loved.

"Me... and her?" Naruto asked as he pointed at Virgo.

Mirajane couldn't be serious.

"Oh no, I am Princess' Servant. For us to enter into a forbidden relationship of sin is something that I can't allow. I don't have what it takes to dominate Princess." Virgo spoke, and Naruto furrowed his eyebrows when he found something strange about that sentence. He didn't know what it was, but something that that-

Oh, ramen.

Naruto started digging into the ramen when Virgo sat it back in front of him, something that Virgo smiled at. Naruto was in dreamland when he tasted it. Mirajane was surprised when Naruto jumped over the counter and kneeled on the ground in front of her.

"... I will have your babies if that is what it takes for you to make me this ramen everyday." Naruto spoke... seriously.

This ramen was good.

This ramen was so good that Naruto was willing to submit to Mirajane if that was what it took for her to make this divine food every day for him. This ramen melted in his mouth, slid down his throat with such ease, it was filled with such magical flavor that it did things to his mind. He had never, not once, in his life tasted ramen so good that it made him consider getting married and becoming a wife as a viable solution to getting more of it.

"Princess is a Ramen-Addict." Virgo informed the guild as she bowed, apologizing.

The guild went back to their business that they had been doing before Natsu got back to the guild, things were returning back to normal.

"Oh my..." Mirajane said with a legitimate blush on her face at the sudden proposal. As impossible as it was, even with current magic she couldn't exactly impregnate Naruto. The thought was a pleasant one for her, to some degree, but the best part.

Her cooking was being praised genuinely like this.

"Mirajane tamed the beast!" Natsu shouted out with Gray, both of them shocked to see Mirajane already having Naruto eating out of the palm of her hand.

"Impossible!" Gray declared, and Naruto stared at the two of them. They went right back to posing with their arms around each other. Naruto went back to the right side of the bar, sitting down, and enjoyed the ramen at a more sedate pace.

It wasn't his fault he loved ramen.

"Are you sure you and Erza aren't sisters?" Mirajane asked with a awkward smile on her face, seeing so much of her best friend in this person she just met.

"We share DNA." Naruto spoke about both him and Erza, as well as him and Mirajane. He shared DNA with both of them, so of course he was technically related to them.

They wer practically his parents actually.

Chapter End!
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