Disclaimer: The characters and settings of the Harry Potter Universe are property of J.K. Rowling. I own nothing.

A/N: So, this is the first thing I've written in two years! It feels so good to be writing again, but I'm pretty rusty (not that I was ever amazing to begin with, but I digress) so constructive criticism is welcome! Complements are also welcome, lol. Please review and thanks for reading!

"I don't want kids."

"Why not?"

"They're loud, and messy, and annoying, and they never stop asking questions, Merlin. You know, I was in Diagon Alley the other day, and do you know what some brat asked me? He just walked up to me with his big brown doe eyes and said, "Why are you so angry?" And his mother didn't say anything! I had to stand there and explain that, actually, I'm fine, this is just how my face looks. Where do they get the nerve? And have you seen what having children does to a woman's body?" She wrinkled her nose in horror. "No fucking thank you."

They had started dating several months ago when she was writing an article for Witch Weekly about his quidditch team, the Falmouth Falcons. The article wasn't really about the quidditch team, more about the team members and their personal lives, and Pansy had had to interview all of the them. After her interview with Harry, which had gone surprisingly well, considering their history, he had asked her to coffee. And then he had asked her to lunch, and then to dinner, and now, ten months later here they were: In his bed after an amazing third round of sex, and discussing children. Wonderful.

"You are aware I've got a kid, right?" he said, teasing.

Of course she knew that, she absolutely adored Teddy. Just last week she had picked him up from Andromeda's house after work to spend the rest of the day together, just the two of them, at the zoo in Muggle London. If Pansy Parkinson was willing to venture into Muggle London for a kid, it was safe to say that she loved him.

Or, at the very least, she loved his father.

They had spent all day looking at the animals. His favorite had been the otters. "They look like the shiny one Auntie 'Mione makes!"

He had not, on the other hand, been impressed with the Komodo dragon. He thought their name was misleading. "But, Pansy," he had whined. "They not even dragons! I know! I've seen one with Uncle Charlie! They too small to be a real dragon!"

Pansy turned onto her side pulling the sheet with her so it covered her breasts. "That's different, though." She brought her arm up under her head and watched his chest rise as he scoffed. Quidditch did wonderful things for his body. "It is. He's not actually—physically," she amended, "yours, so I don't have to deal with some ridiculous woman who's still in love you telling me I'm not allowed to feed her kid ice cream after eight–"

"You gave him ice cream that late? Jesus Christ, Pansy, you–"

"–and he only lives with you half the time, so that leaves us a good amount of time to have glorious, earth-shattering sex–"

He smirked, remembering what they had been doing just minutes before, her slip-up forgotten.

"–and it's not like he's a baby. He's six for Merlin's sake. No changing nappies, no waking up to crying in the middle of the night, and I don't have to carry him around everywhere. He's bloody polite, too."

Harry turned to face her, resting his head on the pillows, and brought his hand up to her hip under the sheet. He stroked down her thigh and then back up to her waist, and back down again. His glasses were pushed into a strange position on his face, and his mouth was turned up at the corners.

"And he's funny."

"Oh, yeah, a real riot, that one," Harry deadpanned. "Morphing to look like other kids and running into large crowds. So funny."

She laughed loud and outright. She'd been victim to that trick once or twice. Harry rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him before he rolled them so that he was on top, looking down at her. She was still laughing at him when he shot her a wicked smile and plopped all of his weight onto her small frame. All the air left her lungs with a loud, "Oof." She started to protest, but he interrupted her.

"I don't want anymore kids, either," he said into her hair, suddenly serious.

She didn't respond for a moment. That surprised her. Harry had always seemed like a family man, and he loved the Weasley family so much, so she had just assumed that he'd wanted a brood of his own. And he was so good with Teddy. It was amazingly sexy.

"Well, that's bloody good, cause I sure as hell wasn't going to give you any," said Pansy, trying to make the mood light again.

"We'd have ugly children, anyway."

"Excuse me," she balked. "No child of mine would ever be considered ugly. No matter whose genes tainted them, even yours."

Harry leaned forward and let his lips brush hers. "Shut up," he breathed against her lips, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

"You shut up." He chuckled and kissed her jaw, once, twice, until he was at her ear and sucking her earlobe between his lips.

"I–fuck." He nipped at her earlobe and placed an open-mouthed kiss to her throat. "You–right. I'll shut up."