Seventy-Three

My Cousin and I Argue Over Which One Of Us Is Weirder

Pretty soon, both of us were sitting outside Fadlan's Falafel enjoying our meal. I kept on looking up at the sky, and Annabeth noticed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "You seem a little jumpy."

I turned my attention back to her.

"It's nothing," I said, "The last time I was here, I got falafel-jacked by a shapeshifting eagle."

Annabeth raised an eyebrow.

"I told you," I said, "My life is wayyyyyy more messed up than yours."

"I don't believe that," she said.

"Oh yeah? You were going to tell me before we came here."

She took a deep breath.

"It all started when I was seven," she began, "I told you I was going to run away, right? I did. But the thing was, these creatures kept on coming after me. I was running away from my dad anymore, but for my life."

"How'd you survive?"

"I met two other kids who ran away. Luke and Thalia."

Her voice was full of sadness at the mention of Luke's name. I didn't pry, though, and let her continue.

"They told me I was a demigod," she said.

"Fun fact," I said, "So am I."

She didn't seem surprised. In fact, it her suspicions seemed to be confirmed.

"Yeah, so anyway, they took care of me until we found a satyr," she continued as if nothing had happened.

"A what now?"

"A half human, half goat. He led us to a camp for half-bloods, but at the hill overlooking the camp, the monsters caught up to us. They can smell demigods, and because three of us were together, they attacked in dozens. Thalia sacrificed herself for us."

"I'm sorry." I knew a little about sacrifice myself, and Gunnila's death came surging back to me.

"Don't be. Right before she was about to die, Zeus, her father, took pity on her and turned her into a tree which protected the camp with its magical powers."

"Wait, Zeus? As in the Greek god?"

Annabeth gave me a sideways glance.

"Yeah," she said, "I thought you would know this. I mean you are a half-blood, right?"

"More on that later," I said, "First finish your story."

"I found out that Athena, goddess of wisdom, was my mom. Fast forward five years, and a strange demigod showed up at camp. Percy Jackson, a son of Poseidon. It was the worst possible time, too. Zeus had his lightning bolt stolen, and he blamed Poseidon for it. Percy was sent on a quest to find it. Grover, the satyr, and I joined him."

"Wait, how old were you?"
"Both of us were twelve. So anyway, after killing Medusa, fighting the Furies, and surviving killer robotic spiders, we went to the underworld to ask Hades about the bolt. Turns out, Ares, the war god, hired Luke to do it and tried to frame Percy."

"How'd you escape?"

"Magic pearls. About a year after we sorted all that stuff out, Thalia's tree started dying. At the time, our camp director was a psychotic dead guy, so Percy and I snuck out to find a magic coat of wool to heal the tree. We fought a hydra, went to the Bermuda triangle, pissed off a cyclops, and Percy got turned into a gerbil."

"But he's fine now, right?"
"Yep. After we got the Golden Fleece to camp, the tree healed, but it also caused Thalia to fall out of it. During the quest, we also discovered that the Titan Lord, Kronos, was trying to resurrect himself with the help of Luke. Six months after that, I was kidnapped by another Titan, Atlas, and forced to hold up the sky."

"But wouldn't it be really light?"

Annabeth glared at me.

"No, it is not at all light! It weighs like, ten million pounds."

"Sorry."

"Percy saved me, and six months after that, we discovered the labyrinth, a giant maze spanning the entire US. Camp Half-Blood had an entrance to the maze, so we went into it and had lots and lots of adventures."

"Such as?"

"They're way too long."

"I got time."

"Well, we fought a snake lady with wings who spit out poison and carried whips of doom. Then we met a hundred-handed cyclops and a three-bodied farmer with a temper. Oh yeah, we fought a bunch of homicidal seals, too."

"Forgetting anything?"

"Yeah, we flew with wings, and-"

"Cut to the chase, Chase."

"At the end of all that, Kronos was resurrected in Luke's body."
"How is that even possible?"

"Luke took a bath in the River Styx, machining him virtually invincible, save for his Achilles' heel."

"I've watched Troy."

"Kronos attacked Camp Half-Blood. A lot of demigods died that day."

"Did you stop him?"
"No, Kronos personally wasn't there. For the next year, we fought his armies until finally we faced off on Mount Olympus."

"And where is that, by the way?"

"Empire State Building. 300th floor. Luke managed to take control of his body long enough to stab himself in his Achilles' heel. I was tasked with redesigning Mount Olympus, and Percy and I started dating."

"And you lived happily ever after, right?"

Annabeth scoffed.

"I wish," she said, "But a demigod's life usually never has a fairytale ending."

I groaned.

"My falafel's almost done," I said, "Can you just give me the short version?"

"I am!" said Annabeth, "The next spring, Percy went missing. Turns out Gaia, the Earth Mother, planned to destroy the gods with the help of her giant army."

"Wait, Mother Nature?"

"Yep. Hera, queen of the gods and professional cow, switched Percy with this Roman demigod, Jason Grace, who by the way is Thalia's brother."

"Did you say Roman?"
"So you aren't Roman, either?"

"No comment. Finish your story and I'll tell you mine."

"Hera wanted to unite the demigods, but it didn't work out so well and seven of us went on a ship to Greece to prevent the giants from destroying the gods' roots. My mom gave me a side quest, to get a statue of Athena that Romans had stolen centuries ago. In order to achieve true peace, the Romans had to return it to the Greeks."

"Couldn't you just shake hands and sign a treaty."

"It's not that simple. Many of the Romans distrusted us. Anyway, I went to Rome and found the statue in the lair of the mother of all spiders. I tricked her, but the lair collapsed. We managed to get the statue to safety, but Percy and I fell into Tartarus."

"Tartar sauce?"

"Tartarus, the deepest part of the underworld."

"How'd you get out?"
"With the help of a brainwashed Titan and a big friendly giant. Afterwards, Reyna, the leader of Camp Jupiter, took the statue back to Camp Half-Blood and we went on to Athens. We defeated all the giants with the help of the gods, but Gaia still managed to wake. Zeus gave us a slap back to New York and-"

"Wait, a slap? On second thought, I don't want to know."

"Yeah, so long story short, we stopped Gaia and, well, we won."

"So a happy ending?"

She shrugged.

"For now," she said, "We'll see what the future holds. Now it's your turn."

I hesitated. After hearing about my cousin's adventures, mine seemed kind of amateurish in comparison. She'd been through hell and back, brought peace between the Greeks and Romans, and prevented the apocalypse at least twice, maybe more. What had I done? Gotten myself killed and tied up a wolf. Big whoop.

"You win," I told Annabeth, "I haven't done anything nearly as awesome as you have."

"Magnus, this isn't about being cool or trying to show off. Just tell me."

"Okay, so I overheard you and your dad last week, so I decided to go to Randolph's place. He took me to the bridge and told me I was the son of a Norse god, which as you can expect, kind of surprised the crap out of me."

I looked at Annabeth, trying to see if she had any reaction to discovering that Norse gods exist. She didn't seem fazed.

"What, you're not even a little bit OMG, Thor and everyone is real?"

"Honestly, I kind of expected this," she said, "I mean after that fiasco with Setne and those Egyptian gods..."

"Wait, there are Egyptian gods, too?"

She waved me off.

"Forget I said that," she said, "Continue."

"Okaayyy….So, I summoned a sword from the bottom of the river somehow and I fought Surt, Lord of the Fire giants. As you know, I died. I was sent to Valhalla by a Valkyrie, Samirah al-Abbas, and then I heard a prophecy and was killed again, and when I woke up I was broken out by my two hobo friends, Blitz and Hearth."

Annabeth stopped me.

"What was the prophecy about?" she asked, "And how did hoboes get into Valhalla?"

"First question first. The prophecy was about me doing something or the other to either hasten the apocalypse or delay it. As for the second question, Blitz is a dwarf and Hearth is an elf. Oh yeah, I figured out that my dad is Frey, god of summer and harvests and stuff."

"I see."

"So after that we talked to a head, got back the sword I lost from a bag lady, ran away from a giant squirrel, and bought my Aunt Freya earrings."

"So what was your quest?"

"I had to prevent Surt from freeing Fenris Wolf and causing the apocalypse."

"And you did."

"Yeah, by tying him up with a stronger rope."
"How are you on Earth, I mean, Midgard?"

"Odin gave me a free pass."

"Does that mean you met Thor?"

"Yeah, I saved him from a half-mile tall giant. And Loki, too. I mean I met him, not saved him."

Annabeth's eyes widened.

"How'd you kill the giant?"

"With this," I said, activating Jack.

"How you doing, babe?" Jack asked Annabeth.

Annabeth stared.

"You have a talking sword," she said, "That's awesome."

"Glad you like me," said Jack, "Are you single?"

"Shut up," I said and deactivated him, "Anyway, Annabeth, I think you won the bet."

"Not by much," she said, "But one thing's for sure."

"What's that?"

"We have the weirdest family in the universe."

"Yep."

Just then, I spotted a dude wearing an orange shirt just like Annabeth's. He walked over to us. He was about 6' 1", had wavy black hair, sea green eyes, and the body of a swimmer. His hand was in his pocket, clutching something, maybe a pen. Annabeth saw him and smiled.

"Percy! What are you doing here?" she asked, before pulling him into a kiss.

So this was the famous Percy Jackson. He didn't look like much, but then again, neither did I.

"Uh, guys, I'm trying to keep my falafel down, thank you very much," I said.

The two broke apart and glared at me. They were made for each other.

"Who's this?" asked Percy, his gaze never wavering from me.

"You're cute when you're jealous," said Annabeth, "I'll tell you when you tell me why you decided to show up here."

"I heard your cousin died," Percy said, "I just want you to know, I'm there for you."

I coughed.

"Percy, this is my cousin Magnus."

Percy looked at me with shock.

"But you're the one who died."

"Yep," I said, "And I went to Valhalla. By the way, Norse gods totally exist. My dad's one."

The look on the son of Poseidon's face was priceless. When he finally recovered, he started cursing in what I assumed was Ancient Greek.

"I swear, if I find an Aztec or Mayan demigod, I'm totally going to skewer them."

Oh yeah, forgot disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Magnus Chase. Uncle Rick does.

Okay, my first fic set in the world of Percy Jackson. I know others have written about this topic, but I couldn't stop myself from writing this after reading the book. Please tell me what you think about it in the reviews, and as always, thanks for reading!