Hello everyone,

this is my new story and the first mulit-chapter for only Naruto.

Okay, important:

Warnings:

This is Mpreg (male pregnancy)! Who has a problem with that can go immediately, thank you very much.

Second, this is shounen-ai or yaoi, or whatever you call it. Because no Mpreg without yaoi. If you don't like that don't read it. It's as simple as that. Though nothing graphic, it's still rated T but there will be implications (if you think the rating is too low tell me).

So you have been warned and I don't want any insulting (guest) reviews or flames due to that, thanks.

So to the story; it's post-war, but with Neji.

Pairings: ShikaNeji, NaruSasu, a bit NejiGaa and other het-pairings

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Naruto. If I did the end would have been quite different.

Shikamaru's POV

Man, this is troublesome.

Why did I let Naruto convince me to go to Ichiraku with them? He, I and the Uchiha have just come home from a mission and the loud-mouth wanted to immediately go to his favourite restaurant. I didn't want originally, but Naruto unfortunately doesn't accept a 'no' and Sasuke was too tired to give me any support. So now we three are sitting here with bowls of ramen in front of us and Naruto is talking with his loud voice.

I look over to them. While I am only half way through my portion the blonde is already happily slurping his second bowl. Sasuke surprisingly is already finished, normally he eats not that fast (well, faster than me but that's not too difficult). The Uchiha is now sitting slouched down, half lying on the table his head buried in his arms resting on the table. He appears to be really exhausted, maybe sick. I already noticed back in the mission that he was more tired than normal, paler and he threw up one or two times. I asked him but he said it was nothing.

When the raven lets out a small groan even Naruto looks up from his food and his gaze turns to the slouched figure worried. He leans over and starts rubbing his back. The other lifts his face returning the gaze of the blue orbs with tired black eyes, dark rings slightly visible underneath them.

"Hey teme. Are you okay?"

Sasuke attempts a smile. "Sure, just a cold or something."

"Are you really sure? You haven't been so well for weeks now!" Naruto presses, his expression worried.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that, didn't I? They are a couple now. Sasuke came back to Konoha after the war, that's around five years in the past now. He was punished for deserting the village. After that Naruto and he became closer again. The people of the town are still working on accepting the Uchiha back but in our group he was immediately taken in and became quite close friends with Neji, probably because they have a kinda similar background. But I don't want to think about Neji right now, this story is for a different time. Whatever, it was around three and a half years back when the female population of Konoha received a huge shock. It was when Sasuke announced that he is gay and in a relationship with Naruto of all people (Sakura and Ino actually fainted when they heard it). Not much later they moved in together and are a happy couple since then (though they are still fighting like they did in the old days).

"He is right, Sasuke, you know," I speak up, though a bit unwillingly, "You look terrible, you should see a doctor."

"See! Even Shikamaru says that! And when he goes through the trouble of talking it has to be important," Naruto shouts, jumping up from his seat.

I roll my eyes. "Thanks for the compliment, Naruto," I say as I drink the rest of my soup.

Sasuke only waves his hand. "I was in the hospital before that mission and did a check-up. They said they didn't find anything."

Naruto looks confused, he is searching for an answer. But since he is (kindly said) not the brightest person, it's again on me.

"Then maybe something is wrong with your chakra. That could cause such symptoms."

"Hm, yeah, maybe, that could be…" the raven says after a moment and Naruto nods exited.

"So…"

"I think you should visit the Hyuuga clan. They know the most about chakra and could see whether there is a problem. Since Hinata is on mission I would say you try to find Hiashi Hyuuga."

At the mention of Hyuuga both of their faces darken slightly for a short moment but then the blonde beams back up.

"Yep, we're gonna do that! Come on, now!" he shouts excitedly, throwing some money for the food on the table and grabbing both my and Sasuke's wrist dragging us through the streets to the Hyuuga compound.

"Wait!" I shout, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. I don't want to go to the Hyuuga estate. Most of them send me glares every time I pass one of them. They hold me responsible that they lost their prodigy.

Yes, Neji isn't here anymore. He disappeared on a mission roughly two years ago. No, I wasn't the leader of that mission, I wasn't even there, it's a bit more difficult. But whatever happened I don't want to go there.

"Naruto, stop! Let me go! I have nothing to do with the whole thing!" I yell at him, my voice louder than normal.

"Sure you have. It was your idea after all. And it's not like you have anything better to do."

"But I don't want to (I sound like some rebellious kid, but you have no idea how frightening these white orbs can be)… No, I can't go there! You know why!" I shout, trying to reason with him, missing the pitying look Sasuke sends me.

"Come on, it's not that bad!" he only laughs and continues his way without releasing me.

'Not that bad'? He has no idea. The whole branch family absolutely hates me because they deem me responsible for the loss of one of their members, the most prestigious on top of it. The main branch is angry as well since they lost their prodigy to show off with. And it was not even my fault. At least not directly. Okay, maybe I had some influence, but damn I mourned over him as well. We were once a couple after all!

Yes, that's where this problem starts. Neji and I got together even before Naruto and Sasuke (he wasn't absent for three years like others after all). The Hyuuga clan wasn't against it which kinda surprised me since they are usually that strict, but they apparently agree with same gender relationships. It went well for around two and a half year. We were both happy. But while he was on a mission I made a really stupid mistake and kept repeating it, I don't want to go into details, but I was exasperated that Neji was away on missions this often. I didn't understand back then (he was jounin, I only chunin) but now I am a jounin myself and know it wasn't his fault. Jounins are simply bombarded with missions. Nonetheless after some time he found out and confronted me. It ended in a huge fight and we broke up, kind of, we never actually said it. After that we kept avoiding each other. I actually wanted him back but he didn't let me any close anymore. When I had gathered enough courage to confront him no matter what (after over a month of separation) he had gone on a mission. I thought I would talk to him after it. But he never came back. All they found was his forehead protector and a lot of blood. I still remember that evening two years ago clearly.

~ flashback ~

It's around ten o'clock in the evening and as it is my routine I am already sleeping. I finished the tests from the academy where I am currently teaching so I went to bed. It feels slightly cold and is too big for one person but it had been like that for over a month now. Since that fight with Neji. He took everything of his with him and went back to some rooms in the Hyuuga compound. In that time I have never seen him, only from afar. But in my hopes it won't be like that for much longer. I have decided to talk to him and do everything to get him back. I know that right now he is away on mission but when he returns I am gonna speak with him.

My eyes are already shut and I am slowly drifting off into sleep, curling myself into a ball to keep the warmth, it's November after all.

Suddenly I am ripped out of my relaxing by a loud, frantic knocking on my door. I groan unwillingly and grumbling crawl out of bed. When I tap to the front door a loud voice, which I recognize immediately as Naruto's, resounds through the building.

"Shikamaru! You're there, aren't you? Hurry up! Please come out!"

He sounds nearly panicking. What's wrong? What did happen? To be precise it's not the first time he is standing in front of my (previously our) door in the middle of the night. Actually it happens every time he had problems with Sasuke. He comes to me (us) because I (we) am in a similar situation after all and Neji and I were the only other gay couple in his close circle of friends. So if he and Sasuke would have a fight he would come running here and I (or we when Neji was present, he was better at that than me) would comfort him. He would stay here until Sasuke appeared to apologize or clear the situation which happened usually the same night or at last the next morning. That always meant another sleepless night for me, which I was never happy about. But today he sounds different than usual. Either Sasuke did something really grave or maybe he heard that Neji and I broke up (including why) and is now coming to scold me (he actually got a bit protective over Neji over the years (as of Sasuke) because they all had a bad past). He was on a two month long mission with the Uchiha when it happened and got back today and I haven't seen him yet.

He is still banging on my door and I am starting to get annoyed. What the hell did happen to justify this? Did Sasuke run off again or what?

"Hey Naruto," I yawn when I open the door, "What did Sasuke do this time?"

He looks dishevelled and is slightly panting, his eyes wide and tears escaping.

"W-What? Teme did nothing!" More tears spill out, "No… No, it's-it's Neji!"

I freeze when I hear that name, my eyes widen as well. "What is wrong? Naruto, tell me!" I shout, gripping his shoulders.

"He… He didn't return from the m-mission!" he manages to say between sniffles and my shaking him.

"What?!" I don't want to believe it! Please tell me it's not true!

"The-The team he went with g-got back today but-but he wasn't w-with them! I wanted to bring you to the Hokage office where they will be explaining it." He is crying and I am shocked too.

Fast I throw on some shoes and a jacket not caring that I am still in my night clothes and put my hair back up (much messier than usual but I can't bring myself to care). On the way to the Hokage tower none of us is speaking. We are running as fast as we can. Naruto is crying and I am still hoping that it's not true.

When we burst through the office door I know my hopes were in vain. Tsunade has a solemn expression on her face. Sasuke is standing on one side, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. Naruto walks over to his lover and the raven takes him in a close embrace burying his own face in the blond hair. Next to him is Tenten, tears staining her cheeks. I know she really liked Neji and had a crush on him for some time. Lee and sensei Gai are on mission right now but they will be devastated when they hear the news. On the other side is Hiashi Hyuuga, the head of the Hyuuga clan is holding his crying daughters though Hanabi is trying to appear strong. When he spots me he sends me a glare worse than I have ever received be it from even Sasuke. In the middle are three ninjas I don't know, I guess Neji's team, with sad expressions. I would say they are at top chunin.

"Wha-What h-happened?" My voice is breaking and I am keeping myself from crying as well.

Tsunade nods at the small group. They are slightly battered, you can see they just returned from a mission. The boy in the middle talks with a small voice.

"Our mission was to catch a dangerous criminal. The first part went well. We arrived at the location without problems and found the target easily. We captured him three days later. None of us sustained serious injuries. But on the way back we ran into a trap of missing nin. There were many and with an unconscious person we had a hard time fighting. The-The captain ordered us to go on first and he would catch up with us. I wanted to stay but he wouldn't let me. We knew he was a great fighter and he was persistent so we went. We waited outside the forest but he never showed up. After about two hours we got seriously worried so I and Maya went into the woods back to where we fought. When we arrived there all we saw were the enemies' bodies and a lot of blood. N-Neji was nowhere in sight. Until-Until we found this." He reaches into his pocket and pulls something dark out of it.

When he places it on the Hokage's desk my breath hitches and my chest tightens. It's Neji's forehead protector! He would never voluntarily leave that or even put it down! Blood is staining the dark brown cloth and the metal plate with the leaf symbol. No! It's true!

"Did you find a body?" Tsunade asks, her voice void of emotions.

"No, but there is a river nearby, if he fell in there you would never find him." One of the team answers sadness clearly audible.

"So we can assume he is…" Tsunade starts a sentence.

The girl of the team nods sadly. "Yes, I tried to find anything but I couldn't sense any trace that he survived. His chakra signature disappeared completely close to the river."

"That means," Tsunade clenches her fingers and her face contorts as she speaks the words I dreaded to hear. "Neji Hyuuga is dead. He fell on a mission fulfilling his ninja duty."

These are the official words, I know it. I heard them after Asuma's as well as my father's death. Everyone apart from Sasuke whose face is buried deep in Naruto's neck and the adults is crying now and even I can feel a tear slip down my cheek.

"There will be no burial for him, I am sorry. Since we couldn't find the body. But we will do a ceremony and his name will be put on the stone," Tsunade says, still with her blank voice.

"Thank you a lot Hokage," Hiashi does a slight bow, "But there will be no necessity for a ceremony on your side. We will hold it in the Hyuuga compound. We have our own way of letting the dead go. It is a rule in our clan, every Hyuuga is also buried there."

Tsunade tiredly agrees, "That's fine with me. Do what you have to do. May I ask when it will be?"

"In two days and it will be held within the Hyuuga family. Outsiders are only allowed on invitation."

"What?" I suddenly burst out, "That's not fair! He also had friends outside of the clan who surely want to say goodbye to him!"

"Don't worry we will make sure to allow every one of his friends in," I am relieved but when he pauses I get a bad feeling, "However, you, Shikamaru Nara, are not allowed in!"

"What?! But I…" Doesn't matter how lazy I usually am, right at the moment even I can't keep my emotions down. I love Neji, goddamn it! And I can't even attend his burial?! That's a fucking joke!

I feel a hand on my shoulder and am met with black orbs staring in my own ones. "We will have our own ceremony to say goodbye to him. Please, calm down. If you attack Hiashi now we will have serious problems and you could even produce a war between the clans." The raven speaks silently and calm like to shield his words from Hiashi.

Thankfully at least Sasuke keeps the calm in this situation though I can see the sadness in his eyes and his even more pale than usual skin tone. He is right so I calm myself down. But the Hyuuga head's next words agitate me again.

"After all, it's your fault he is dead now!" he spits with venom, ignoring Hinata who is nudging him.

"My fault? How is this my fault?" I shout back, tears now freely falling and Sasuke hurriedly grips my shoulders to prevent me from storming forward.

"If you hadn't betrayed him, he would have been in a better condition and would have survived!"

"But…" I don't even know what to say and I see Sasuke's gaze sadden.

"He seemed somehow out of focus that's true…" one of the team adds. Great, that doesn't help at all! I try not to feel guilty since the accusation is not true, but…

"Shit!" I cry, rip my arms out of Sasuke's grip and run from the office.

At home I smash the door shut behind me, throw myself on the bed and cry freely.

The next days are horror. Nearly all of our circle (those who are not on mission) attend the ceremony in the Hyuuga compound and when Lee and Gai return we do our own burial for our friend. Everyone says something about him. It's nice but not what I wanted if he ever were to die. I move out of the apartment as soon as I can. It feels too big, too lonely, too cold with the knowledge that Neji will never return.

~ end flashback ~

And since then every Hyuuga except Hinata throws me glares whenever they see me. Tenten did so in the beginning too, but I talked to her and she understood. There are moments where even I think I deserve it and I feel guilty for doing what I did, for not being there for Neji, for not telling him what I wanted to, but most of all I miss him.

I go to the stone with the names on it after nearly every mission I finish, telling him what happened like we did when we were still together. The first and second anniversary (around two months ago) we did a small celebration for the first of our friends we lost. I celebrate his birthday as well.

So that's the story behind why I don't want to go to the Hyuuga compound. But while I am musing over my memories we have already arrived in front of the huge estate. I actually haven't been here often. When I got closer to Neji he had already moved out so I only visited if necessary.

Okay, that's it for now. Thank you very much for reading.

Reviews would be great. Anything but flames. Tell me what you think of it. I would appreciate that.

As for updates, the next will be pretty soon. The story is already written completely on my home computer, so there will be no long breaks between the chapters. Three days or something. But it also depends on when I have time, I start university next week, so I will probably be a bit busy.