Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. For some strange reason, CBS doesn't want to give them to me. Maybe it's 'coz stuff like this will happen *shrug*

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing angst, so it might not be that good. Lemme know what you thought in the review section.

How had it come to this?

All she had wanted to do was go and get a big doughnut from a special little bakery. It was supposed to have taken her a half hour to get back.

Now it was two hours later, and she was being operated on to get three bullets out of her abdomen.

Deeks desperately wanted to be there; to be at the hospital so that he could see her the moment she was out of surgery. He knew that he wouldn't be able to be in the actual room until the doctors gave the ok, but at least he'd be able to see her face through the window.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Hetty wanted him back at OPS, helping to track down the guys who had shot Kensi in the bakery. She wanted Deeks, Callen and Sam to find out why those men were there in the first place.

No matter how much Deeks had pestered, protested and even begged Hetty to let him be there when Kensi woke up, she insisted he stay behind. She said he'd tell him the moment she was out of surgery, and then he could go to the hospital. But it would be a good few hours before that happened.

So, now, he had no choice but to be squashed in the back of the Challenger (again), driving to the first suspect's house. The senior agents were bantering in the front, and Deeks was sitting quietly in the back. They knew what it was like to be worried after their partner had been shot, so they left him alone.

Deeks thought about Kensi as they drove along. He thought of her smile (god, her smile was so perfect. Just thinking about it made Deeks smile a bit), he thought about her laugh (the good laugh, not the scary one), he thought about her everything (she was his everything, he didn't think he could bear it if he lost her).

He was snapped out of his thoughts by G addressing him.

"We're here, Deeks."

Deeks looked up and saw that they were at the hospital where Kensi was. He turned to the front and met G's gaze. No words needed to be said; their eyes did all the talking.

"Thanks."

Callen nodded and slid out to let Deeks out. Deeks climbed out and G stopped him before he entered.

"Keep us updated."

He knew them well enough to read between the lines. They wanted him to tell them if she was okay; if she made it or not. He sincerely hoped she would. Not only did he not want to lose her, he didn't want to have to tell Callen and Sam that she didn't make it.

Deeks nodded and watched them as they sped off. With a hopeful spring in his step, he hastened towards the inside of the hospital. He identified himself as Kensi's significant other and then went to the waiting room, but stopped short when he saw Hetty there. He slunk back into the shadows and waited.

A nurse came into the waiting room and Deeks stood quietly, listening to the conversation. She checked her clipboard.

"Martin Deeks," she read out and looked up. Deeks stepped out of the shadows, hesitating for a split second for slight fear of Hetty. But the concern for Kensi won out. He walked right past Hetty up to the nurse. "Relation to Kensi Blye?"

"Boyfriend." Behind him, he heard Hetty finally snap out of her shock and speak.

"A word, Mr Deeks?" He turned around.

"After I'm done with Kensi," he answered, suddenly not afraid at all. Hetty opened her mouth to say something, but then close it after seeing the look in his eye. Deeks turned back to the nurse.

"How is she?"

"Not to good," the nurse admitted. "One of the bullets went straight through her spleen. She lost a lot of blood. We don't know if she's going to make it. I'm sorry, Mr Deeks."

Deeks licked his lips and shook his head.

"No. She'll make it. She always does," he murmured, glancing up the hallway towards whichever room she was in.

"I hope so," the nurse sympathised. With that, she turned and lead Deeks up to Kensi's room. He stepped in and took in the sight before him. His ladybird was unconscious on the bed, with tubes coming and going every which way. She looked so pale and weak, a condition that hit Deeks right where it hurt. He suddenly understood why they didn't know if she was going to make it or not.

He grabbed a chair and pulled it right over to the bed and slumped down in it. He reached down to Kensi's hand and scooped it up in his. He fiddled with her fingers, trying to let the beeps of the machines in the room to calm him. Neither one of his actions helped.

He looked up to her face. She didn't look peaceful as she slept. She just looked…well, almost…Deeks couldn't even bring himself to think of the word. He refused to accept that it would happen; that Kensi, his Kensi would leave him over a couple of bullets. She was tougher than that. Deeks suddenly found himself talking to her, despite her unconscious state.

"Please wake up, Kensi. It's only three bullets. You're tougher than that. I know that you're not going to let three lousy bullets take you away, but I need you to wake up, just so I know it's all going to be okay."

Deeks stopped talking and waited to see if she'd wake up. She didn't. Deeks let her hand go and rested his head on her arm.

A few hours later, it was dark. He hadn't left the room at all, and had no intention of doing so. If she wasn't going to survive, he was going to be here until she didn't. If she was going to survive, he was going to be there until she woke up.

He was busy tracing patterns with his finger up and down her arm when her arms jerked out of the way. He jumped and was instantly alert.

"That tickles," her voice came from the pillow and Deeks felt his heart soar.

"Hey, Fern," he greeted, rising up out of his seat. "How you feeling?"

"It hurts," she admitted weakly. Deeks nodded in understanding. After a moments silence, she spoke again. "Deeks, am I dying?"

"Not yet, you're not," Deeks answered, as more of a command than an assurance. Kensi smiled feebly, and another few moments of silence passed before Kensi broke the silence again.

"Deeks?"

"Mmm?" He sounded weary, but that didn't stop Kensi from asking her next question.

"Will you stay?"

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere." Kensi smiled again and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks."

"Anything for you." He smiled softly, so, so, so glad that she was awake. He sat down again and the two stayed side by side, and enjoyed each other's company. As both parties were dozing off, Kensi asked one last question.

"Are you really staying?" She wanted to be certain that he wasn't just saying that; that he was actually going to be beside her the whole night long.

"I promise," he assured her sleepily. "I'll be here when morning comes."