HEEEEY ALL!

Ehm…so I'm really sorry for the late update because life happened. I know it's not an excuse but just wanting to let you know this story ain't dead! Let us continue the story!

Chapter 6: How many New Years passed already?!

"Huh?" Shinpachi blinked as he looked outside his window. Currently, he was sitting inside his house while enjoying a morning tea when he eyed outside. It was snowing. While Winter has yet to pass, Shinpachi nevertheless blinked in confusion.

"What the hell? We're still on this damn story?" A nearby Gintoki muses as he munched on some dried snack. "And look at the title! We're still continuing Kagura's stupid Christmas story?! How many New Years already passed?! It's way too far to be celebrating Christmas!"

"I learn that even our canon selves has some inconsistency. And by that I mean it could be a lot…"

"And how can you explain that huh? What can be a flaw in the canon material huh?" Gintoki said, sounding a bit annoyed. "Canon already established to be a rather loose cannon story itself!"

"Gin-san…are you still mad about me being the protagonist?"

"Huh? Since when did you become the protagonist?! I refuse to believe good old Gin-san has been replaced!"

"Now you're just in denial…"

"Tch…I ain't believing anything." Gintoki fumes and took a bite out of his snack. "Speaking of which, what are we supposed to do now?"

"Well following from the previous chapter, we should be doing something related to Kagura-chan's Christmas Party. So…to the Yorozuya then?"

"No need aru!" A voice blurts as the wall was literally smashed by Kagura incoming with Sadaharu!

"Damn it Kagura-chan, you could've entered from the front door!"

"I wanted to make a smashing entrance aru!"

"But that doesn't mean smashing down my wall damn it!"

The Yato girl dismisses Shinpachi as she sat down next to Gintoki, rudely snatching his snack as she munched on them. "Sho I ghot some fhinal requests…" Kagura said with a mouthful, before swallowing and continued, "I need it for my New Years party…"

"…" Gintoki and Shinpachi's face went blank, before Shinpachi face palmed. "Okay…let me guess this straight…you want a New Years part even though you invited everyone for a Christmas party?"

"Yep."

"Why the sudden change?! So much work have been put into it!"

"Because I want to. Here's a list." Kagura nonchalantly said and placed a paper. "I'll be leaving now aru."

"Wait-"

Before Shinpachi retorts, Kagura literally blasted away with Sadaharu, destroying another wall on the process. "Damn it!" Shinpachi huffed, before rubbing his temples. "Honestly that girl will be the death of me…"

"Eh. She never changed much. What's on the list?" Gintoki muses nearby, already raiding Shinpachi's fridge again. "Oi. Oi oi. We're out of strawberry-"

"Go buy your own!"

"It's the duty of an employee to listen their boss. Now go fetch me some-"

"Hell no!"

"Then can I have money to buy my own-"

"Are you still that broke?!"

"Well I haven't paid you guys so…lend me some money!"

"You're really ignoring your own flaws!"

Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and sighed out heavily. "At any rate, let's look at Kagura-chan's list…"

"But Gin-san's milk…"

"We'll go get it later!" Shinpachi retorts, before eyeing the list. "Let's see what we have here…"

Kagura's List

A set of balls for a ball drop.

"First item on the list and it's already ridiculous!"

Fuming, Shinpachi moved to the second item and-

A treasure.

"Treasure?"

"Must be a New Year gift thing…" Gintoki muses, before peering into the list. There was several assortments of stuff, but nothing as ridiculous as the first item. "Hmph. Looks easy." Gintoki comments and stretched. "Should be done in a day."

"Right…I hope so. Because for some reason, I have a feeling this will not bode well…"

Shinpachi and Gintoki left the house and made their way to Otose's Bar where they saw the elder woman splashing water at the front of the bar. Otose didn't change much in the past years save for a few strand of white hairs.

"Ah…" The elder woman took notice of Shinpachi. "It's Shinpachi…"

Before she sets her eyes on Gintoki.

"And you."

"What kind of greeting is that Baa-san?" Gintoki nonchalantly mused as the elder woman scoffed. "And you still haven't paid this month's rent."

"Kagura and her boy toy got it covered…" Gintoki mused as he picked his nose, walking past by Otose promoting her to sigh.

"Gin-san never changed much did he?" Shinpachi said earning a small smile from Otose.

"I suppose so…"

The two walked into the bar as Shinpachi took a sit at a nearby stool. The bar, suffice to say, haven't changed much save for a new space, where Otose had it renovated a while back to make the place bigger.

"Gintoki-sama. Shinpachi-sama. Welcome." A familiar robotic voice was heard as Shinpachi tilts his head to the side with a smile.

"Hello again Tama-san."

Tama smiled politely at Gintoki and Shinpachi, before continued on her sweeping. She didn't change much through the years, save for her braid being longer than usual. The Maidroid eyed Gintoki who sat on a stool near Shinpachi, before saying, "The usual-"

"Usual my ass!" Otose huffed and took out her pipe. "You don't even have money to pay for a drink!"

"And how would you know that?"

"Gintoki-sama's wallet dangling on his pocket is currently empty." Tama inquired nearby as Gintoki sighed heavily.

"D-Don't stare at my pockets damn it!"

"At any rate, Otose-san, we came here to ask if you could help us." Shinpachi explained as he placed Kagura's list on the table. "Kagura-chan said that she needs it."

Otose peered into the list, before sighing, a puff of smoke coming out of her mouth. "I believe that this more of Catherine's area of expertise. Catherine!"

As if on cue, a familiar Amanto walked in. "Oh? Need my help do you?" Came in the haughty voice of Catherine who walked in, and her voice was so much different as well…

Because Catherine surprisingly looked beautiful.

"Haaa?" Gintoki retorts. "As if we need a help from someone like her…"

"Huh! Well it's much more better than tagging along with a madao like you!"

"What'cha said huh?!"

"Well I'm just stating facts!"

"Well I'm not the one who leaves her freakin' husband and flaunts all his money!"

"At least I don't leave my daughter…in Yoshiwara!"

"Kuh!"

Shinpachi sweat dropped at the scene un folding before eyeing Otose who sighed. "They never change much. Tell you what, go down by Catherine's bar just a few miles away and talk to the manager there. I'm sure she knows several things."

"Ooooh….this." Shinpachi muses at the building in front of him. Suffice to say, it was Catherine's own bar, where she had established years before after getting married to a guy. And it just happens so that-

"Shinpachi." A familiar soft voice was heard as said boy turned around and met the stoic gaze of Nobume. Speaking of which, she worked here part time remember? At the first chapter?

"Come to think of it…it's been a while since this story was released." Nobume mused. "Shouldn't there be an anniversary?"

"Uuh no. Due to her lack of constant update I doubt if anyone would still be reading this." Shinpachi dead pans as Nobume tilts her head. "What brings you here?"

"Ah…that. Kagura-chan has this list of items she get me…for her 'New Year'."

"I thought it was for Christmas?"

"Yeah…well she decided to change it to a New Year on a whim." Shinpachi huffed as he showed Nobume the list. The girl peered into it, most of the items were just simple assortments of stuff, however, some of them looked ridiculous.

Who writes balls like that anyway?!

Oh wait…this is Kagura.

Shrugging, Nobume said, "I think I can lend some time to help you…"

"Well Otose-san said to go ask the Manager instead, plus, I wouldn't want to waste your time."

"But I am the Manager." Nobume stated matter-of-fact before a random guy behind her popped out.

"Oi!" He shouted. "I'm the real manager-"

GA-SHUNK!

Suddenly, Nobume threw her sword at the guy, effectively stabbing him as he went limp and dropped onto the ground, laying in a pool of his own blood.

"…" Shinpachi went, his glasses going blank. "OIII! DID YOU JUST STAB THAT GUY?! HE'S THE REAL MANAGER RIGHT?! YOU JUST STABBED HIM RIGHT?!"

"No. He's an imposter." Nobume stated, before hearing a groan behind her and-

"Persistent."

GA-SHUNK!

"HEY HEY HEY! DID YOU JUST FINISHED HIM OFF?!"

"Shinpachi. Help me hide the body." Nobume mused as she dragged the bloody body into an alleyway. "No!"

"Okay. I'll just hide it. Don't tell anyone okay?"

"Like hell I would do that! Why isn't anyone seeing this?!" Shinpachi raged and eyed the passerby who seems to be avoiding Nobume, which…sort of is understandable due to her past. "Uugghnn…" Shinpachi heard another groan before-

GA-SHUNK!

"…"

"No problem." Nobume said as she left the alleyway with bloody stained face and hand. "Don't 'No Problem' me damn it! You totally committed a murder in broad day light!"

"What?!" A nearby officer of the law suddenly rushed in towards the pair and huffed. "Did you just say this young lady-"

GA-SHUNK!

"Shinpachi. Help me hide the body."

"Like hell I will!"

"Okay. I'll just hide it. Don't tell anyone okay?"

"This again?!"

After 'ridding of pests' as what Nobume commented, Shinpachi is currently sitting near Nobume in a bus as the two took a ride to go to a nearby forest just by the outskirts of the City itself. The two entered a forest with a visible path as Nobume pulled out a doughnut from the sleeves of her kimono.

"Speaking of which Nobume-san…where are we going?"

"I believe I haven't explained myself." Nobume mused, halting a bite from the doughnut. "We're going to a Blacksmith."

"Why? There are tons of-"

"This Blacksmith specialize in creating all assortments of machines, besides weapons, he can build vehicles if he wanted to, or even a personal requested item." Nobume explained, before taking a bite out of her doughnut.

"Mm…oh and he's good for that ball drop thing. It's the reason why I brought you here."

"Thank you for the help. You could've just told me the location."

"No problem." Nobume mused, before pulling out her third doughnut-…wait…what?

The two walked in slightly deeper until the road wasn't visible where they arrived at a large looking cabin with lots of run down machinery sprawled about. "Suffice to say, he's more of an Inventor." Nobume explained before she guided Shinpachi around the Cabin towards the back where a vast lake was seen, shallow it was as Shinpachi saw a lone person sitting on the water.

"There's the person." Nobume points out as Shinpachi walked towards the person. "Excuse me?" Shinpachi called out, promoting the figure to turn around. He was a…Kappa looking Amanto that's for sure, with a white sash around his waist with lots of tools dangling from it.

"Oh! A new client…" The Kappa Amanto mused and walked towards Shinpachi, where the boy noticed signs of age. "Name's Kappa Blacksmith, un original I know but the Authour ran out of names."

Shinpachi sweat dropped but quickly said, "Um…Kappa-san, we were wondering if you could help us out with something…"

"What is it boy?"

From here, Shinpachi explained the ball drop item Kagura requested, it was to be designed similar to a giant ball drop that people would see in a New Years party of sorts. The Kappa Amanto held a thinking face, before nodding as he took Shinpachi to his cabin.

Even more random assortments of inventions were seen as the Kappa Amanto took Shinpachi towards what seems to be the back of the shack, there, lots of metal lumps were seen. "You weren't the first one to request this though. I've made several New Years ball drop over the years. What are you looking for?"

"Well nothing too fancy I suppose…"

"Well I've got several designs…" The Kappa Amanto mused and showed Shinpachi several papers where he eyed them and-

"…Huh." Shinpachi comments. Judging from the designs, they look awfully close to…

"A dick." Nobume mused as Shinpachi's glasses went blank. "Am I not wrong?"

"Nice eye young lady!"

"So she's right?!" Shinpachi fumed and threw the paper towards the ground. "What kind of sick idea is this?!"

"Technically, it is a ball drop…"

"Don't encourage him Nobume-san!"

The Kappa Amanto laughed before he bent down to pick up the paper designs and-

PA-CHINK!

His sash accidently came loose before…well…his balls drop. "OIII! THIS IS BAD! KAPPA-SAN, COVER YOUR SELF!"

"Huh…truth to be told, it's my greatest design."

"AGH! THIS OLD MAN IS FLASHING IT US AND HE'S OKAY WITH THIS?!" Shinpachi raged, before he points at the Amanto. "What kind of design is this?! Are you considering to sell your damn balls off?!"

BSSH!

Shinpachi's raging came into a halt when blood splattered everywhere. "Shinpachi, here." A bloody stained Nobume gently placed something on Shinpachi's hands. It was two pairs of censored objects. "He said it was his greatest design. Only the best for Kagura yes?"

Shinpachi blinked, before he eyed the limp Kappa Amanto who had blood coming out of his crotch. "OIII! NOBUME-SAN, YOU CAN'T JUST CHOP PEOPLE'S BALLS OFF!"

"He said it's his greatest design, doesn't that mean-"

"It's not damn it!" Shinpachi raged and threw the censored object into the ground. "This guy is just a perverted old guy who flashes off at people!"

"But-"

"No buts damn it!"

"…Okay."

"Good! As long as you understand-"

"I'll return it back." Nobume said as she picked up the censored object and without hesitation, drove her hand through the bloody crotch.

"OII! DON'T GO DOING THOSE THINGS! YOU JUST DON'T THRUST YOUR HAND INTO PEOPLE'S CROTCH DAMN IT!"

"Okay." Nobume said, before pulling out the censored object again. "Nobume-saaaan!" Shinpachi fumed at the sight of a girl literally popping her hand in and out of a person's crotch. "Now what are we going to do with this man?!"

"Ah! I'm alright boy!" The Kappa Amanto stood up, though bloody, seemed to be fine. Traces of his crotch being chopped was gone as he went back to flashing towards the two young adults once more. "So the ball drop comes with a pole, and I happen to have the best one packed right down here-"

BSSH!

"I've got the balls and poles."

"Now we're back where we started!"

"What's wrong Shinpachi?" Nobume asked as Shinpachi stood away from her. It wasn't her presence but rather…her state of appearance. She held a bloody sack casually with blood stained hands. Nearby people eyed Nobume in a weird manner, and eyeing the odd bloody sack.

Just another person from the Kabukichou. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Anyway, Shinpachi rubbed his temples and said, "Are you seriously going to carry that?"

"I'll just put it into an ice pack."

"Don't 'I'll just put it into an ice pack' me damn it! You're carrying someone's genitals inside it! It's wrong in many ways!"

"So where should-"

"Ahah! Nobume! Patsuan!" A familiar voice was heard as coming next to the two was Kagura atop Sadaharu. The Yato girl was munching on a dry seaweed as she said, "Shinpachi! How's the item search going around?"

Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and twitched an eye. "It's…going well. That and-"

"We got a pole and a ball drop as per requested," Nobume said casually and placed the bloody pack on Kagura's hands. "It's the best of it's kind."

"…" Kagura's face went blank as Shinpachi face palmed. "I swear I-"

"If you say so!"

"EEEEEEHHH?!" Shinpachi raged as Kagura grinned at him. Snatching the bloody bag from Kagura, Shinpachi instantly threw it away. "No! No no no! It's not okay damn it! Look I don't know why I'm still tolerance enough to let Nobume-san butcher someone…"

"Correction. He present it to us."

"But I ain't about to let someone else's genitals to be used as a pole and a ball drop!"

"Why would they call it a ball drop from a pole if there wasn't a dick and balls involved?" Kagura said nonchalantly. "Besides, it's the best of it's kind aru!"

"Twisted people I say!" Shinpachi fumed and flailed his arms, before sighing. "Look, we'll focus on the items…without cutting people's balls off."

"But-"

"Moving on!"

"Alright alright…" Shinpachi huffed in an effort to calm himself. "Let's just continue on now."

Nobume merely followed Shinpachi, tailing the glasses man as he eyed the list. The two walked around town, occasionally passing familiar faces, getting the items and once it seems a bit much, dropped it off by the Yorozuya. Finally, the list reached it's last item, which was the treasure mentioned beforehand.

"Oookaaaaay…define 'A Treasure'. What is it?" Shinpachi inquired. Nearby, Nobume's blank stare looked into the sky, before opting a thinking expression. The two remained silent before Nobume walked ahead of Shinpachi.

"I got an idea of someone who has 'treasure'…or at least know who has one…"

"This better not involve someone's 'treasure', and by that I mean their balls or some kind…"

"Then I suppose we'll go to the second option…"

"So you're first option involved that?!"

Nobume ignored the rant and lead Shinpachi somewhere. After a walk, Shinpachi scratched his head as he eyed the building in front of him. Long story short, Katsura's humble abode. Weird, considering Katsura wasn't active in much adventures recently.

Anyway, Nobume rung the nearby doorbell before shortly waiting. Shinpachi eyed his surrounding while waiting, before he accidently eyed the window on the house. There, he saw Katsura's head visibly peaking out, eyeing the pair suspiciously.

He took notice of Shinpachi's staring, before saying, "Who dares interrupts a nice Sunday?!"

"Eeh? Sorry to be a bother…" Shinpachi answered in a bit surprised tone before seeing Nobume eye Katsura.

"We didn't come for Katsura…"

"Huh? But I thought-"

"We came for Captain Katsura."

"ALWAYS HAPPY TO HAND AN ASSISTANCE!" Katsura shouted and leaped off his house, already wearing his favorite disguise which of course, twitched Shinpachi's eyes.

"He had a quick change of mind!"

"Katsura? Where are you?" Ikumatsu's voice was heard within the house. "It's your turn to tend to the chores…"

"So he only helped us to escape chores?!"

"Hahahaha!" Katsura did his trademark laugh, before making a pose which involve him covering his face with his hand. "I know naught of this Katsura, it is Captain-"

TWANG!

With speed that would put the Flash in shame, a frying pan shot itself out of the house and into Katsura's groin! The Captain grunted in pain and clutched his family jewels, before tumbling down into the ground as Ikumatsu's herself walked out of the house.

"Honey, I love but seriously?!" Ikumatsu huffed, quickly nodding at Nobume and Shinpachi's presence, before dragging the man into the house, ready to drive house responsibility into his head as the poor pain groaned in pain.

"Well that sucks…" Nobume mused. "I ran out of ideas…"

"Well…that's-"

TRING!

…

…

…?

Shinpachi and Nobume tilt their head in confusion as the sounds of guitar was heard, before Shinpachi widens his eyes.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! DAMN JELLY AUTHOUR DON'T YOU DARE-"

- To be continued

JoJo ending? Yes of course! Well I suppose the 'New Year's Arc will end on the next update…whenever it is. See ya soon folks!