by lifelive94

My hand presses against my as-of-now flat stomach. In a couple months, it will be rounded with Eric's child.

How can someone be excited and terrified at the same time? How can someone want to laugh and cry simultaneously?

I've learned many things in my 20 years and I've come to understand that being human is complicated. Being human means learning how to handle colliding, explosive emotions on a daily basis. Only I'm lost as to how I should handle the emotions being thrown at me now.

I can't find it in me to regret the life growing inside of me. It will change everything, perhaps it will destroy what Eric and I have, but I'll deal with it.

There's no doubt in my mind that Eric loves me. We've just never discussed children before. And he's never talked about his father in detail, but I do know he abandoned Eric before he was even born. I can't imagine Eric will want this baby.

I have all these scenarios running through my mind and most of them end in Eric leaving. My overactive imagination is running wild, and I can't stay in our room anymore.

I quickly head to the training room. It's basically empty, with just a few new initiates practicing hand to hand combat. I stride over to the knives, pick one up and without hesitating I fling it at the target.

It hits the bullseye. I hardly ever miss anymore.

I keep throwing the knives, until my arm feels like it's going to fall off. I don't stop. I can't stop because if I do I'm going to have to think about being pregnant and what that means.

I'm sweating through my tank top and I'm panting like I used to when my body wasn't used to exercise. I'm so tired my arm is shaking. I keep going though.

"You missed dinner," Eric yells from the doorway.

My heart speeds up inside my chest. "Lost track of time," I reply.

I hold the cold metal end of the knife in the palm of my hand. I grip onto it, as I watch Eric's slow approach. My stomach is doing somersaults.

It's been a long time since I felt the urge to run from Eric.

"Everything okay?" He asks.

I paste on what I hope is a smile. "Yeah."

He's got that look on his face. The look that tells me he doesn't believe me. "You've destroyed the targets," he says, as if that somehow proves I'm lying.

I hadn't noticed but he's right. They're marked up almost beyond recognition. "Oh," I say.

Brows furrowed, he asks, "What's going on, Tris?"

"Is there something wrong with wanting to get some practice in?" I hedge.

I have no clue how to tell him the truth. I have no idea how to tell him he's going to be a father.

"No, not if that's all that's going on here," he says.

I glance around and I notice the initiates have left. I hadn't noticed their departure...

"That's all that's-" I stop. I throw a hand over my mouth, and I do everything I can to keep the contents in my stomach, in my stomach.

"Eric," I gasp, before I start running as hard as I can to the nearest bathroom. It's too far to our apartment, so I run to the dormitories public restroom.

I barely reach the toilet before I'm throwing up. It's violent and it's humiliating. And I don't want anyone, especially Eric seeing me like this, but he's followed me, immediately pulling my hair back for me.

Tears are pouring down my face when I turn back to him. "You don't have to stay for this," I tell him.

He rubs my back in small circles. "I'm not leaving," he replies.

"Not yet," I respond quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks.

I shake my head, flush the toilet, and stagger to my feet. He stays put as I walk to the sink. Turning the faucet on, I splash cold water on my flushed face.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, or am I going to have to start guessing?" His voice is hard. He's frustrated. I can't blame him.

I watch the water fall from the faucet to disappear down the drain. "I'm pregnant," I whisper.

Saying the word out loud makes it more real. In 9 months, give or take, I'm going to be a mom.

"I found out today. Great news, right?" I laugh humorlessly.

Once I've gotten started, I can't seem to stop. "I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. I'm kind of hoping for a boy, I think."

"You're pregnant," he repeats.

He stands up; covers the distance separating us. "You-we are going to have a baby?"

"Yes," I say, turning to face him.

I've never run away from a difficult situation before, and I won't start now.

His eyes light on my stomach. I wish I could tell what he's thinking. He's not giving anything away. He could be seconds from running away for all I know. What exactly will I do if he walks out? How will I raise a child on my own?

Falling to his knees, he lifts my shirt up, exposing my stomach to the cool air. Hesitantly, he places a hand on my stomach. "A baby," he says. "We're going to be parents, Stiff." He looks up at me, his expression a fascinating blend of awe and wonder.

"You're okay with this?" I ask. "You want it?"

Looking taken aback, he says, "Why wouldn't I want the life we created? It's a part of us. A perfect mixture of you and me," he breathes.

"I wasn't sure-we've never talked about..." I trail off, not sure how to tell him the worries I've been dealing with all day.

Understanding creeps into his eyes. "I see. You thought I wouldn't want the responsibility of having a kid?"

"It did cross my mind," I admit.

"I'm not my father," he says.

I sigh. "I know that. I guess I was scared." I shrug helplessly. "It's so unexpected. We use protection every time...this wasn't supposed to happen."

"You don't want our baby?" He asks.

The hurt clouding his face soothes my worries more than words ever could. "Of course I want it. I just didn't think we'd have children till we were older," I reply softly.

"Me too," he says, "but I'm excited. I'm going to be a dad." He laughs, leans in to kiss right below my belly button.

The fear that I'd end up alone in this adventure falls away. We're going to do this. Together.

Three months later

"Get someone else."

"Eric," I try reasoning.

"There's no way I'm letting you train those kids," he says firmly. "Things could go south in a heartbeat."

"How many times have you been hurt by a student?" I ask, brow raised.

Shaking his head, he says, "Not the point. One of them could shoot you by accident...or something. They could hurt you and Grace."

"You mean Daniel," I say.

"No, pretty sure I meant Grace," he replies, tugging on my pony tail affectionately.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever you say. Regardless, you can't keep me on bed rest for another 3 months. I'm pregnant, not dying," I say.

We've had this argument multiple times. Pregnancy has turned Eric into a paranoid mess. Anything and everything is a potential threat in his mind.

"It wouldn't hurt for you to cooperate, you know," he says.

"You worry too much," I shoot back.

Rolling over he rests his chin on my stomach. It's another quirk he picked up once we learned I was pregnant. He takes every opportunity to touch my tummy in some way or other.

"I think I worry the right amount," he says, "because I only want you to be safe. I would do anything, trade everything I have to prevent anything bad from happening to you."

"You win," I huff.

"Sorry?"

"You didn't want me to train the new initiates; I'm giving in. If you would rather I not, then I won't," I say.

His smile is slow, steady. He doesn't smile like he's won, but like he's just glad I won't be in harm's way.

"Thank you," he says.

"Just don't get used to bossing me around," I tease.

"I don't want someone who would let me boss them around. I want you," he tells me.

Tris just had her baby

"He's got your nose," Eric murmurs.

I've never been quite this exhausted before. I would do it again and again and again to get back to this moment. I would never stop if I got the chance to just be with my small family.

"He's perfect," I reply.

Eric hums in agreement. "When he gets older, I'm going to teach him everything I know. I'm going to be there, Stiff."

"I know," I say.

Inhaling, he says, "I don't want to mess up. I want to be a good dad."

"You will be, Eric. He's going to love you," I insist.

He threads his fingers through mine, rests his cheek against the top of my head, and whispers, "Thank you. Thank you for giving me the chance to be with you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me a family. It's more than I deserve, more than I ever hoped to have."

"When will you learn you deserve the world?" I ask. "Because you do, and the fact that I get to share my life with you? Eric, it's everything. You and Daniel are my everything."

"Good," he says, a smile in his voice.

"Would you like to hold him?" I ask.

I can't see his reaction, but I feel him stiffen. "I don't know how to," he replies.

"It's easy," I say. "You support his head."

I place our baby boy into Eric's arms. He awkwardly accepts the precious bundle. "I might break him," he says.

I laugh. "You won't," I promise.

I watch as he cradles Daniel to his chest, and I fall a little bit more in love with him. I didn't know it was possible. It is though.

I lay my head against the pillow, not taking my eyes off my two boys. This is my life now. This feeling, right here, right now, is something I'll never take for granted. It's something I'll never let slip through my fingers. What I have now is meant to be cherished, it's meant to be protected. And I will, at all costs.

Note - jcampbell943 asked me to write a story where Tris finds out she's pregnant and she's uncertain of how Eric will take the news. Also, a protective Eric a few months into the pregnancy and Eric and Tris after she has the baby. I hope this doesn't disappoint, or fall short of what you had in mind! I'd hate to butcher such a fantastic idea.