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Chapter 9: The Truth; The past matters

I could recall the first time we met...

I could still remember when I felt my feelings for her change...

I still held onto every memory we shared like it belonged to a puzzle that one day might fall back to it's original pieces...

The cracks would cut through me until my heart threatened to shatter right along with the faded pictures that our time together had once helped create.

Felicity was different from all the others...

Where there was a darkness she would arrive with a blinding light...

I hid in the shadows while she casted the light that allowed me to see beyond them...

Felicity was different when compared to every person who had taken up residence in my often bleak if not stormy life.

The people I'd spent my life surrounded by saw me as cold, cruel, ruthless, and a cunning fighter, but in the end I was still just the lost boy who's parents were killed. In the end all of my accomplishments meant noting when stacked up against the ghosts that filled my past.

Felicity listened to every story, she'd seen and eventually memorized every scar as her fingers lightly danced across my skin. She'd seen me at my worst and never once seen me at my best...

She was my miracle and now I had to tell the miracle the truth. I couldn't sugar coat it this time, I couldn't hide behind my words or a fresh scar. This time I had to let her see the parts of me that I'd tried so desperately to hide...

So taking a deep steadying breath I began my voice was almost hollow as I closed my eyes and tightened my arms around her waist. I knew she wouldn't leave me...I knew she'd accept me scars and all...I just had to find a way to accept them myself.

2 years ago...

The weather had turned earlier than normal this year and for once I didn't mind the cold edge of the wind as it cut through my body;the chill occurred earlier with each passing year. I was staring across the half frozen expanse of the lake on my home's endless grounds. The geese had flown away only mere weeks before the snows had began to fall. As a boy when I'd first been brought to my "uncle's" home I'd spent endless hours on and around the once upon a time endless expanse of water. That lake had been my one bright spot in a n my home's endless grounds. The geese had flown away only mere weeks before the snows had began to fall. As a boy when I'd first been brought to my "uncle's" home I'd spent endless hours on and around the once upon a time endless expanse of water. That lake had been my one bright spot in a world that was filled with nothing but black. Once my mind turned to Alexi my once open hands became clenched into large tight fists. Alexi had been my father's business partner and according to the will he was named as my sole guardian until my 18th birthday. He was tall around 6′1 or 6′2 with a overly muscular build that was made even more menacing by his deep tanned skin. His thick accent often left me confused and bewildered but his tone left no room for errors to be made. His orders were firm and absolute as he raised his massive palms to my once upon a time small and frail body. He'd "trained" me to be ruthless, uncaring, and most importantly unforgiving when it came to protecting our family dynasty. Those cold onyx colored eyes haunted my dreams until I was awakened by my own blood curtling screams. My one saving grace was the now blonde haired angel who lately had begun to invade my every waking thought with her small smile and big bright blue eyes...

I'd thought of her many times over the years but our relationship changed...our relationship was forever altered the night I lost Thea...

Thea my sister who'd grown up in a world that was the complete opposite from my own...she'd been raised with warmth and love...she'd been taught to sing and dance...she'd had holidays and birthday parties...

She'd had a life that I had absolutely no part in...

Thea and I had been separated two days after the accident she'd gone to live with Rasia while I was shipped off to hell.

In the years that would pass I'd see my younger sister a total of ten times...each one was more painful than the last.

She'd grown up without me...

She'd had a life that had no place for me within it...

She'd died from a drug overdose that I still felt my influence could have prevented.

Her loss had left me empty...devastated...and alone...

That was until I saw Felicity...

I ran into her open waiting arms; my body clung to hers as I slowly slid down to her firm abdomen. We'd shared kisses, and sometimes our exchanges became heated, as the frenzy of our mutual attraction grew. I was in pain and she was my soul's soothing balm...

It wasn't long before I had her laid out against the cold grey floors beneath our room's one lone light...my body pulsating within her own as we finally became one.

That one night kept me sane and centered as I held the barrel of my uncle's own gun to his forehead. I recalled every square inch of her body as the small beads of sweat formed between our fully joined bodies...I could taste her on my lips as I stared blankly into Alexi's cold dead stare...

"Well boy you've waited this long...why not drag it out and wait for me to once again gain the upper hand." His tone was dark, hard and edged with pure hatred as we both stood there the silence around us was thick as each of our darker impulses began to fully take hold.

I edged the barrel further into his dampened skin...His words were brave but his body betrayed him as the sweat poured freely from his pores. He was scared because the weapon he'd so carefully honed finally had taken the upper hand. My finger was taught as I pressed slowly the trigger sliding gently against the pads of my fingers. "Uncle you brought this on yourself...The families are at war...You've led us to our own deaths..."

My voice was a few notches above begging as he sneered his next response was layered with contempt...

"You don't have the guts Oliver..." His next words determined his fate. "You're like your weak pathetic father...Killing him was..." He'd been spitting out the hate filled words as I squeezed firmly against the trigger the shot ringing out as my shaking limbs threatened to all but collapse me...

He never got to finish his last thoughts because just like he'd always told me once you see the opening you take it consequences be damned. I'd taken my shot and now he was lying before me the blood pouring forth from the small wound in his forehead like lava from a volcano. I'd made a move and now I was about to see how dangerous that move had truly been.

Alexi may have been many things but a coward wasn't one of them. He'd held the last pieces of our dynasty together with nothing more than idle threats for years...

His words couldn't save me now...

"Oliver in the past three months no more than ten attempts have been made on your life...how can you not be taking this more seriously?" Raisa was angry with me and I truly couldn't blame her. She just lost Thea and now she was on the verge of losing me as well.

I groaned slightly into the phone's receiver as I glanced over the piles of files she'd sent over via a private courier for my personal review. "Raisa I agree but and believe me I'm not taking these threats lightly but I don't think that..." My voice stilled as my calloused fingers lifted up the cover of the last files among st the thousands I'd spent hours reviewing. His name was simple and direct just like his picture. He looked strong, stern and capable but all I had to go by was a stern but still honest face with eyes that were shockingly warm. "Someone named John Diggle is the going to be the answer to your prayers." My tone was light but also edged with a fair amount of concern as she decided to push her point home.

"Oliver he's ex-military and he has another connection that I believe might make him more appealing to you..." I glanced down to the bottom of the file and there in black bold faced lettering was her name...

"Raisa how?" I'd never told her about Felicity...hell I hadn't seen her since Thea's funeral and then it struck me the funeral...

That night had been the night and in a moment of slight horror I whispered gently into the phone. "What was I screaming out in my sleep?" I felt like a small boy as I waited for her often motherly response.

I could hear the small smile that must have been gracing her lips as her gentle lullaby like tone replied in kind. "Felicity...you just kept muttering Felicity so once you left the following morning I phoned Sasha and apparently you've been having these dreams for years now. So I asked if he had anymore details like perhaps a physical description. He did and well since my days are free I spent three months looking for a woman who matched the description."

I was awestruck she'd found her...

She'd found my Felicity...

"Raisa regardless of how grateful I am to you finding her that doesn't mean I'm going to hire him..." I stumbled over the words as my eyes once more scanned over the lined paper. "My god he was her neighbor...he's known her since they started..." The last part was no more than a dull whisper as my brain formulated it's own master plan. Eager to bring an end to our dream created love affair I spoke once more before I hung up the receiver.

"Raisa set up the meeting..."

I the man who was a lethal weapon was nervous. He'd actually met her...he'd touched her hand...he'd heard her voice...he'd been apart of her waking hours... he'd had what I longed for...

He'd been apart of her actual life. Now he was about to enter my own and that truly should have made more of impact but as the door knob turned all I could think about was how if this worked I'd be holding her in the sunlight in one short year from now...

1 year later...

"Oliver when we first met you said nothing about this? You never even told me about your true plans until just last month so what makes you think that I'm just going to go along with this?" I glanced up at him as he sat across from me the dark sturdy desk lay between us as his hooded deadly gaze remained trained on me with laser precision. He was right of course my plan was risky and given how things were going with the two families meeting her now would only bring her into a world that might crush the light that often lit my way. Julie had been increasing the rate of the sessions and Felicity was beginning to remember more and more of our shared past but she still hadn't seen the beginning...

She still hadn't discovered why we were linked and why the link was getting stronger instead of weaker. My plan was simple she had another session with Julie tomorrow night so once my meeting with Alexander Otto was finished I along with John were traveling home...

She was in Starling for a few more days which meant I had a very small window to find her, meet her, and then never ever let her go...

"John my life is never going to be safe so why should I wait?" I glanced up at him his stare was still icy so I continued hoping to make a small dent in our at times troubled relationship. "John I need her... Please try to understand that...my life begins and ends with her so yes I'm willing to risk everything if it means I can be with her..."

He held his hands up in a small gesture of surrender as his stare softened and his lips curved upwards. "Oliver Alexander and Sonia are not going away and if the reports are correct your would be girlfriend's sister is not only working with Otto's family but she's also sleeping with it's' leader. Oliver Laurel could get her killed long before you do..."

He was right of course but the relationship between Alexander and Laurel wasn't yet solidified that and she was still married to Tommy...

"John Laurel's a moot point right now if my spies are correct they've set up shop in Starling which means regardless of my true intentions we have to go...John he's going to destroy my home just like he's destroyed this one...Felicity is my home John and I won't watch as everything crumbles down around her...I won't lose her John...I can't..."

He looked me over a few more times before leaning back into the broken down chair. The house had taken a beating over the past year what with both the Otto siblings taking turns bombing the shit out of it in order to weaken my still rather steely resolve. My haven was drained 6 months ago when they found poison in the water supply...the lake was now nothing more than a empty barren pit of dried dirt and sand. My home or what was left of it was being held together but nothing more than the cement bricks that had formed the original frame. The rest had either been burned or leveled to the ground. I was only staying here until the beta site was fully operational. So as we sat here in my once large, clean, and beautiful office I wondered for a brief moment if this had all been worth it...

I knew within seconds that it had...

Felicity was worth it so I stood up slightly my palms were planted on the desk as I stared him down once more. "John do remember when you agreed to stay with me as my bodyguard?"

He nodded slightly before he uttered a small..."Yes why?" His arms were folded at his chest as he slightly began to groan.

"You wanted her safe...you only agreed because you sensed that we shared a common goal and we did...John I love her so please just this one time trust me if it looks like she'll be in danger I'll back off I promise..."

My tone was hard but still light as I begged for what might be my last chance to connect with the woman who'd saved my soul so many years before. I eyed him as he sighed his next words would tell me which way he was leaning. "First sign of danger and we leave got it?"

I nodded knowing that this was the best outcome I could have ever hoped for. He nodded as well as he he stood his back was to me as he moved towards the door. He stopped and turned with his hand firmly placed on the knob and his next words would haunt me more than I ever thought was possible. "You know if you meet her what you are and what you do very may well break her heart. Are you ready for that?"

I wasn't but right now it was either take the leap or risk it never coming around again. "I'm ready to be with her even if it means I lose her in the end."

He just nodded once more as he swiftly opened my barely working office door.

Present Day...

I'd told her bits and pieces but in my heart I'd felt I'd given her more information than what she'd previously been aware of. I held her as she shifted within my arms her warm soft eyes held my own as I looked down upon her sweet angelic face. I waited as her face went from scrunched to relaxed and then back to scrunched again. She was weighing her words and I no intention of speeding her along.

When she did speak her words once again left me floored. "Oliver we have to find out more in regards to Alexander and Sonia...if Laurel is really one of them then I'll be able to tell..."

I looked at her with an expression of worry etching slowly into my face. "Felicity..." She'd held two fingers to my lips as I attempted to talk.

"Oliver she saved me and I'm betting he was watching...I know her and you know him between the two of us we should be able to find them...but..."

I knew what was next so I said the words before she'd even had a chance. "So you're going to need access to a computer I take it?"