Note: a stanchion is one of those posts that velvet ropes are strung between. This is relevant.

I'm not completely sure where this came from. I guess I wanted to write Kaito antagonizing Heiji and also Kaito saying flirtatious things about Shinichi while Conan is present and some movie 19 aftermath or smth idek I hope everyone enjoys this :)

There were a few things that the Kaitou KID Task Force (those of them actually employed by the police department that is) knew as facts. One of these was that Kaitou KID was batshit insane. Granted, it was kind of obvious (c'mon, a thief as flashy as him?), but no one knew that quite as well as the Task Force.

Case in point, this current heist in Osaka.

The item of interest was a pink diamond brooch surrounded by pearls. The exhibition it was part of would depart for France the next day, making tonight the last chance for KID to grab it. The Task Force (read: Nakamori) reluctantly accepted the cooperation of the Osaka police, though they weren't all that keen on Hattori-keibu's high school son, who had a dark expression and muttered under his breath about stupid thieves getting what was coming to them, joining them for the evening.

It started out like your run of the mill heist. Dogpile on the bandit didn't work, Nakamori was nearly turning the air blue with his expletives, and Kaitou KID was cackling in that super annoying way he had. The only real difference was Hattori Heiji, who was aiming to bash KID's head in with the stanchion he'd just picked up.

Most of the Task Force agreed with him in theory if not in practice.

"My, my, tantei-han, how violent!" KID chided gleefully. "Whatever did I do to warrant this response?"

"You know perfectly well," Hattori snarled. "Disguising yerself as Kudo again-!" He nearly succeeded in hitting the thief, but KID leapt on top of the stanchion and then over Hattori's head.

"Maa, someone's been telling tales," KID said, waggling his finger and absolutely no one blamed Hattori for his loud growl and the string of Kansai accented expletives that followed. After all, KID had been driving grown men to tears for literally years.

"He didn't need ta tell me, it was practically all over the news!"

"So he sent you to scold me, hmm?" KID mused, throwing two small spheres the high schooler's way. Hattori ducked only for the officers behind him to get covered in sticky neon orange glitter.

"Nah, I'm here of my own volition," Hattori said with a vicious grin which KID returned in just as sinister a manner.

"Well then," KID purred, darting under another swing of the stanchion. "Will you give Meitantei a message for me with my deepest apologies?" The thief slipped past Hattori's guard, grabbed his jacket collar with both hands, and kissed him full on the lips.

You could have heard a pin drop in the shocked two and a half seconds that followed before Hattori made a sound like a strangled cat and punched KID in the face.

"Y-you-!" Despite his dark skin, the high schooler's cheeks burned a bright red.

"I didn't know you were a sadist tantei-han!" KID hissed as he brought a hand to his swelling cheek. "Am I bleeding? It takes forever to get anything out of this suit you know."

"You motherfucking-" Garbled words left Hattori's mouth in a not quite coherent manner as he wildly swung the stanchion at the thief, who ducked before opting to get out of the danger zone and disappeared in a "poof" of smoke and reappeared on top of the jewel case.

"In the interest of keeping this heist murder free, I'm going to have to cut our fun short," KID announced. "Make sure to give meitantei my message," he told Hattori with a wink before disappearing in a final flash.

Hattori fixed the various groups of Task Force members stuck in glue, covered in glitter, covered in feathers, stuck in glue and covered in sequins, a look that spoke of great violence. "No one says anything bout this, y'got it?" he growled, somehow managing to make himself heard by everyone.

What happened at KID heists and wasn't captured on camera stayed at the KID heists.