Pearl's hands and arms were submerged in hot soapy water as she scrubbed meticulously at a plate that was already squeaky clean. It was supposed to be calming her, but it was not working. Her whole body was tense. She wanted to scream and shout and maybe even cry. However, she was determined to be more composed than that. She was a Pearl. Pearl's were not built to become emotional. They were built to work. Realising that the menial task was doing nothing to calm her as it usually did, Pearl began to hum the tune to the song that Steven had written. We Are the Crystal Gems. Bad decision. Thinking about Garnet and Amethyst only made her more tense. It was not until she heard them dripping into the water that she realised tears were trickling out of her eyes. "Oh, for goodness sake." She berated herself as she pulled a sud covered arm out of the water to wipe the tears away. Pearl despised crying, but it seemed to be something she just couldn't help. She cried when she was happy, sad, angry or worried. Sometimes it seemed like she was always crying. She sniffled a little before plunging her arms back into the water and scrubbing, this time at a mug.

"You alright, P?" Amethyst asked as she ran up to the draining board and jumped onto it. Once seated she began to swing her short legs back and forth. "You've been like this for hours. No days. Actually, I'm pretty sure you've been like this since Lapis left for Homeworld." Amethyst snorted. "And you thought I was unobservant."

"Yes. I am perfectly fine, Amethyst." Pearl said, her voice shrill. The mug she had been washing cracked in her hand as she gripped it too tightly. "Would you please just get down from there, before you break something?" She swatted at Amethyst, causing soap to fly everywhere, some in Amethyst's eyes.

"Ow. Watch it, Pearl" Amethyst grumbled as she rubbed at her eyes. "Geez. What did I ever do to you?"

"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" Pearl paused, for dramatic effect. "Oh, wait. That's right. You don't tell me anything. I suppose you and Garnet found it very amusing. I can just imagine you laughing at me behind my back." She spat out, bitterly. "'Oh haha, look at Pearl. She's so dumb, she actually believed us when we told her we found that mirror at the Galaxy Warp'" Pearl waved her arms around as she shouted. "I can't believe you lied to me Amethyst." She said quietly, her voice cracking. "Garnet, yes. She does what she thinks she needs to do to keep us together. But you? I never thought…"

"Pearl, it was Rose. I mean, we helped. We knew. But we were only doing what she told us. I had only just met you. I was practically a gemling"

"Excuse me?"

"Rose trapped Lapis Lazuli in that mirror."

"Why?"

"You made it pretty clear you were going to leave Earth with Lapis. I guess Rose didn't want that to happen." Amethyst said with a shrug.

"Oh." Pearl smiled and placed a hand over her heart, which she had formed to know what it truly felt like to live as a human. "Well then. I guess that's okay." She placed one of her hands over a cheek, which has turned blue as she blushed.

"How does that make it okay?" Amethyst snarled. "She told us to lie to you Pearl. I mean, like, it's okay for Rose to want to keep you grounded, but when you thought it was me and Garnet you practically have an aneurysm? Rose never loved you Pearl" Amethysts voice was suddenly full of malice. It had always bothered her how Pearl was so up Rose's ass.."She didn't keep you here for that."

"Of course she didn't. She kept me here in case we needed to fight again. She was such a wise leader." Pearl entwined her slender fingers together and smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Lapis Lazuli thinks I helped trap her in that mirror. She thinks that for all those years that I treated that thing like an object, using it to remember the past, that I knew she in there. She must hate me. We were friends. We were … we were going to explore the galaxies together. Amethyst, am I a fool?"

"Damn right you are. Wait, what are you on about?"

"I fought all of those years for Rose. I thought if I could fight for her, risk my life for her, she would" Pearl broke of, not wanting to speak of her love her love for Rose. It still hurt, even though she was beginning to realise it was just what humans called a schoolgirl crush "And then I met Lapis. I realised that what I felt for Rose was just infatuation. Lapis and I, we shared everything. Our deepest desires. Our biggest fears. It was wonderful." Pearl's eyes widened as she spoke of Lapis. Her lips formed a smile. It was a smile Amethyst had never even seen when Pearl had spoken of Rose on thousands of occasions. " Then one day she was just gone." The smiled slid from Pearl's expression "I didn't know what I had done. I assumed she had just left for the stars without me. I guessed I had just imagined our … friendship. Read too much into it." Tears were now spurting out of Pearl's eyes. "It destroyed me, even more than when Rose gave up her form. I always knew Rose didn't love me back. And then when I found out that she had been in that mirror for all these years, and you knew. Can you imagine how that feels?"

"Pearl, it's gonna be okay." Amethyst said softly.

"No, Amethyst. Nothing will ever be okay again. I loved her. I loved Lapis. Rose took that away from me but refused to ever give me anything in return. I was a fool."

"You weren't a fool, P. We lied to you. You couldn't have know. We're … I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way about Lapis. I always thought she was a bitch."

"I was a fool to ever think you cared about me. Why you? All I ever do is berate you. Do you hate me? Did you think I was a," Pearl lowered her voice to say her following word "a bitch too? Is that why you did it?"

"No" Amethyst shouted. "We did because you love you. We wanted to keep you. It was selfish."

Pearl inhaled deeply and let the breath out again, not wanting to fight, before wrapping her arms around her body and seeming to shrink into herself, "What's done is done. It was a long time ago, I'm over it." Pearl turned away from Amethyst, and walked towards the door, heading for her room. She didn't want Amethyst to see her face, full of pain. She didn't want to hurt Amethyst by making her feel guilty. She had clearly been doing what she had thought was right at the time. They had all followed Rose blindly. Pearl began to wonder if Rose was ever the good guy, or if everything she ever did was purely selfish.

"P, you're not gonna take this out on the little man, are you?" Amethyst asked, just before Pearl walked through the door.

"What? No. Of course not. He isn't Rose. Steven is a much, much better Gem than Rose ever was." Pearl said proudly, knowing that she had a part in bringing up Steven and making him who he was.