Here's part 2 - same scene as before from Dean's perspective. Big thanks to Biensche and LilyBolt for their reviews... and to NerdAngel 'cause I know she always reviews, too.
Just add salt ;)
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Dean POV
"Big night," I say to Sammy while checking over my gun.
"Yeah," he replies hoarsly. "You nervous?"
Me? Nervous? Gee, Sammy, last time I was nervous was when you were on your first ever hunt.
"No," I reply nonchalantly. "Why? Are you?"
"No, no way," he says a bit too quickly.
Can't fool me, princess. Then our gazes meet. Instantly we know that we both haven't been entirely truthful. It's okay though, because the second you drop your guard and don't get nervous going into a hunt, something is bound to go wrong. Time to put on my game face to reassure my Gargantua brother.
"God, could you imagine if we actually found that damn thing? That demon?"
Could I imagine? Hell, yes! I can imagine trapping it and then finding a way to hurt it in a zillion different ways before exorcizing that son of a bitch's ass back to where it came from. That yellow-eyed asshat deserves no less. But I have to remain calm.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, all right?"
We need to keep a level head and don't rush into it all emotionally, else we'll get our asses handed to us.
"I know. I'm just sayin', what if we did? What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month. Go back to school, be a person again."
What are you, Sam? A girl? You can sleep when you're dead, Bitch. Yet the way he says this, it pulls at something deep inside me. I know he doesn't really want to hunt. But I had hoped...
"You wanna go back to school?"
I have to know this. Have to know where we're standing. These last weeks on the road with have been the closest I had in a while to a family life. It had ignited a spark within myself that had died the day Sam left for Stanford. I didn't want it to disappear again.
"Yeah, once we're done huntin' the thing."
Aw man, Sammy, don't mean it!
"Huh."
"Why, is there somethin' wrong with that?"
"No."
Yes! Where should I start?
"No, it's, uh, great. Good for you."
Smooth lying, Pinocchio. Let him choke on the sarcasm. The Sasquatch has made up his mind. No sense to cry over spilled milk. Damnit.
"I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?"
Seriously, Sammy? Hunting is the one thing I'm good at. I can't just quit, not after all we've seen. After all I've seen. Quitting is for wusses. I ain't one of them.
"It's never gonna be over. There's gonna be others. There's always gonna be somethin' to hunt."
Hunting is the family business. Again, it's the only thing I'm really good at.
"But there's got to be somethin' that you want for yourself..."
I can hear it in Sam's voice that he can't understand me. How can you be smart enough to get into Stanford and at the same time be so thick?
"Yeah, I don't want you to leave the second this thing's over, Sam."
Gotta spell it out for you, don't I? I turn and walk over to the dresser, keeping my back to him as I'm schooling my expression the best I can, in an attempt to hide my emotions.
"Dude, what's your problem?"
Isn't it obvious? I keep quiet for a bit and then turn to my not so little brother. Maybe he needs a little nudging. Maybe he'll come around.
"Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?"
Yes, Sam, there's a challenge in here.
" 'Cause Dad was in trouble. 'Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom."
Obviously, Sherlock. But to be honest, I can't stand being alone in all this. You left us, but at least it was Dad and me, hunting together most of the time. And then Dad disappeared. Hunting alone not knowing where your family is, whether they're safe, is a totally different thing to hunting alone, knowing you'll meet up with them afterwards.
"Yes, that, but it's more than that, man."
I quickly turn to face the dresser again, concealing my feelings, or at least I hope so. After a few moments of silence I address Sam again.
"You and me and Dad, I mean, I want us… I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again."
I need to be a family again. You, Dad, me, having each other's backs. Keeping people safe.
"Dean, we are a family. I'd do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before."
Really, Sam? I know that. I know that and it makes my heart break because it evokes the memory I have of the time before this thing entered our lives, when my family still was Mom, Dad, me and my baby brother.
"Could be," I mumble, knowing it's not entirely true, but I want to believe it.
"I don't want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way."
I don't know if I can, Sammy. I will cross that bridge when I get there. For now, time to focus at the task on hand. Tag along, Bitch.
"Let's go, Sam."