The whitening light fell onto the darkened corner with lined empty beer mugs. The figure crouched over another beer looked up. There comes a certain point in a man's life that makes him question whether he had taken the right decisions so far? Whether the path chosen and open before him belongs to him only? Can there be another path, another path that could make one day better than the next? A path which would allow him to take one day at a time?

Orihara Izaya, never once questioned himself twice. His personality never allowed him to question himself. Some would say it was confidence, some would say it was the half-assed attitude he's born with and pissing off arrogance he, himself has pride in. There was no space for regret in his life.

His life? He has a life…he realized. It was not now or in the future or in the past, he always had a life, but why did he fail to see it? Was it the confidence or his half-assed decisions? He did not know. There was only one thing that he knew right now, and that was that something changed and that change is something not brought by Namie, Shiki or Shinra's words.

His path had only one unsaid rule and it was easily overlooked by many…like himself. 'Trust' can breathe only within the family. What bloody 'trust' does he need? He leaves everything too heavy to carry during an escape and that included 'trust' as well. For him 'family' was only a 'gang' and 'trust' was only a 'word' cowards used to assign an ally in a fight. Power exists within the illusion of success. Trust, a crown worn for power. There is no real trust, no real crown, only gold to be stolen and crowns to be snatched. This was Izaya's life. It was not a life one would imagine, but it is a fine life to live…until now.

On a thundering night he found himself thinking things he never imagined. It was as if his life was taken out and thrown out all over the floor. Until now he had no complaint of being an ass, 'irresponsible bastard' was not an insult to him. Now everything has changed. He cannot see in this abyss. Where does his path lead to? He had no answer. Silence. Can he see what his next move should be? He had no answer to that either. His next move. What should he do? He never worried about anything but now he had no moves or cards to hold. It was only matter of time, for him to be caught in a trap but he had no choice. He couldn't make the move.

He realized it was not that he didn't know which move to do next it was that he could not do that move. Why? What kept Izaya down? Izaya, the greatest hit with the cops and the underdogs. 'Izaya out of moves', he grinned slightly, that was a joke for the boys.

He sipped more beer and stared at the drunken couple seated in front of him. The woman was laughing loud and flirting with the man who was pouring more wine to her drink. 'Pathetic', he thought. Another sorry sight in a bar, he wanted to leave but the couple stood up to leave. The woman was so loud and accidentally fell onto the table she was walking past. The blonde man seated there got up and helped her as the man she was with paid for their drinks.

Izaya's eyes bulged, that was it. It was the answer as well as the question. Heiwajima Shizuo. Heiwajima Shizuo? The reason the great Izaya is with no cards in his deck and no more moves to perform. He cannot perform any when Shizuo walked into his life.

On a cold night, when the thundering storm was outside raging with never-ending rain pouring down inviting the whistling wind to blow all over, one drunken Izaya was at this familiar bar, gulping down gallons of cheap beer. That night was one of those nights that makes one end up in a bar dead drunk, forgetting the sorrow or joy they drank for. None matters in this lonely corner where a liquid can keep you company better than a live man. Drinking with a woman was out of question. Izaya despised grabbing beer with a woman; women have impossible expectations when they join you for a drink. They either want you to escort them to where the hell please to be escorted to or want you to pay for their goddamn drinks as well. He has no time for such luxuries to be given to mere women. They can join whatever man they pleased but not him. His looks always attract women in a bar that he wears a black hooded jacket whenever he steps out for a drink.

That night was a night for sorrow; Izaya lost all contact with his link inside the station. As Izaya glorified in reaching five bars in the underworld, the rumors followed as well. The Interpol's declaration and secret and private agencies calling on his wanted profile to start investigations straight away. It was all still okay, and he had the night planned out smoothly but there was a glitch. A glitch consequently out of his reach as some smarty inside figured something out. It was an obvious glitch, waiting to happen but it happened with all the bad timing in the world. The PD figured that there was a link in them and most surprisingly managed to cut it off. He had to call off everything if he was not to play onto their trap.

'Darn, the loot!' he thought as he drank down his third beer. 'That Izumii better be dead, or I'll kill him myself!' he thought and gulped down the fourth beer. That is when the drowsiness kicked in. Damn, now this bloody alcohol! Izaya was brandishing his arms as he got up to leave.

"Hey Mister, pay up before you leave!" the bartender screamed to Izaya as he turned away. The bartender kept on shouting at Izaya as he simply ignored the man and walked away. "You better pay or I am calling the cops on you!" the desperate bartender shouted as Izaya was completely deaf to his pathetic screams.

"Hey what is going on here?!" a man came towards the counter. He was followed by a group of men, probably in their mid-thirties most of them drunken themselves.

"This man won't pay up! And he had four beers!" the bartender angrily explained.

"Now that is not good now is it?" the man told Izaya who was half-awake.

"Get off my face, bitch!" Izaya shook off the man and walked away.

"What the fuck did you just say to my face!" the man said and punched Izaya in the face. The rest of the men, who were waiting for this brawl started to gang up around Izaya.

The bartender came out of the counter shouting, "Stop! Stop! I will call the cops! Go home! Just go home! The money will be charged later."

The bartender seems to be babbling all alone as the men did not waste a glance on the poor man but stared deadly towards Izaya. There was one man standing up against nine men alone in a bar at midnight. He was dead drunk, but not drowsy anymore. He lifted his blood red eyes towards the men standing. They gasped as they saw the fire in them but did not lose their honor to them. Izaya raged on towards them, and the entire group of men started raging towards him. After few minutes of punching and kicking, finally the 'five bar, the legend' was thrown onto a table.

A blonde man was drinking gin at his table. His eyes could not be seen as he was looking down. The men started moving across the bar to hit Izaya. The blonde man stood up. Izaya looked up, groaning. As Izaya started to rage again towards the men, a hand stopped him. He looked at the straight figure before him. Those eyes…they looked firm and deadly. The hazel glare pierced him somewhere he has never reached before. The sudden pressure awoke him from his reverie as the tall figure pushed him aside. Izaya continued to stare as the men approached the blonde.

"Get out of the way! We need to show this bastard that he needs to pay up!" one man shouted as he walked over to Izaya. The blonde figure stopped him.

"Leave him alone, he has nothing to pay for your drunkard ass."

"What the fuck did you say to me!?" the man raged at the blonde, but it only lasted for two seconds as the man ended up on a table. The bartender now worried rushed in warning to call the police and that all of them should just get lost right now. All the men ignored and rushed at the blonde, but froze suddenly not daring one step further.

One gunshot was all it took.

The blonde took Izaya home. It should have been the first and last meeting with Shizuo Heiwajima, but Izaya found himself going to the bar often and seating next to the tall blonde. Those hazel eyes had the light that brightened Izaya's day. Izaya's visits to the bar became more regular and his stays longer than the last. This was the same for his beer, as he found himself purposely getting drunk.

A month later, after their first meeting, Izaya found himself in his bedroom stressing over what to wear for the evening. He was going out for dinner with Shizuo and he didn't find anything to wear. Izaya never cared for these things. He never wanted to look attractive because of stupid women who used to follow him and call him for drinks. But tonight was different. He had a dinner with Shizuo and he wanted look best he could.

Shizuo once on a regular night at the bar has said Izaya should take a break from all these drinking and getting drunk. Izaya so carelessly has let it slip. "I only do it for you to take me home. It's not like you visit me at all." Shizuo stared at Izaya. Izaya felt the red rush of embarrassment through his veins. Izaya had looked away to avoid the awkwardness. Shizuo after few minutes admitted it to be true and apologized for the disappointment.

Izaya was surprised at Shizuo's words. Shizuo took his career seriously and had said that he never found time while working at the station. Izaya smiled at the thought Shizuo apologizing then felt the panic run through him when he arranged the dinner.

Izaya wore a black tuxedo for the dinner. He felt like being too formal so he unhooked few top buttons. Shizuo was waiting at the table when he came to the restaurant. Shizuo looked smart as he always did. Izaya was feeling anxious but seeing Shizuo's smile, it all went away.

The evening passed away and they were standing in front of Izaya's house. "Same as always, I am dropping you off" Shizuo said.

"It won't kill you to come inside" Izaya said, smiling. Shizuo smiled and gave Izaya a hug and said good night. Izaya feeling embarrassed of even asking Shizuo to come inside said that it is okay for Shizuo to go home as it was late.

"I think I like you better without being drunk. And I have come over so many times getting you to go to bed so don't feel bad" Shizuo said smiling, his hazel eyes sparkling. Izaya held Shizuo's hand and gave him a hug. Shizuo's cheeks grew red as Izaya embraced him against his chest.

Izaya felt the awkwardness building up as they were embraced in this long hug. Izaya wanted to hold Shizuo for another minute or so, but Shizuo shook him off. Izaya could see Shizuo's cheeks red and eyes frustrated. "I gotta go" Shizuo said hurriedly and walked away.

This was like every good bye they had when Izaya was not drunk. Every time they seem to get along better, Shizuo would just shake Izaya off. Izaya stood standing on the road until he couldn't see Shizuo's back anymore.

It was true that Izaya felt insecure around Shizuo ever since the day Izaya figured that Shizuo worked for the PD. But it never pulled him away from Shizuo. Izaya had tension building up in his chest every time Shizuo asked him about being unemployed. Izaya knew very well that his private employees are not approved by Shizuo and he did not want Shizuo to know his work at all. What would Shizuo do if he knew? If he only knew what Izaya had to do for a living? Izaya never thought about living, so it was never the means of a living. He just did it because he was so good at it. Would Shizuo know who he is?

Izaya shook off these things from his head. He didn't want to think about them tonight. He was happy about the evening spent together and he did not need to get drunk to get Shizuo to come and drop him off. Izaya went inside, feeling tired. It was only eleven o' clock.

Izaya woke up at two o' clock in the morning. His eyes still sleepy only heard the annoying thud on the door. Someone was knocking so hard that it seemed the door would break.

"Hold up! I'm coming!" Izaya said and looked out the window. 'Who could it be in this rain?' he thought as he noticed the knocking suddenly stopped. Izaya opened the door only to find one very soaked Shizuo under the rain.

Raindrops were running through his blonde hair and those hazel eyes had that look in them. It pierced Izaya to his soul, like their first meeting. Izaya could not move or say anything. Shizuo just stood there one moment and the next thing he knew was that there was a swirl of fire in his chest.

Shizuo did not waste a second to embrace the confused Izaya into a passionate kiss. His eyes half lidded with desire while Izaya's were wide with surprise. It felt like the comfort to all this pain he has been through, ever since meeting Orihara Izaya at the pub. Though their first meeting was planned, he felt that this was their first true meeting.

Shizuo felt Izaya's warm and soft lips against his and slide his chapped ones over them smoothly. Shizuo's hands cupped Izaya's face while he tilted his head for better access. Their noses bumped into each other as Shizuo kissed the red-cheeked Izaya and he whimpered at the lost of contact as Shizuo finally decided to pull back.

Izaya could smell the strong stench of alcohol clearly as Shizuo came inside the house all wet. Izaya helped the drunken Shizuo to the coach and went in to bring a dry towel.

When Izaya came back with dried towels, he found Shizuo shirtless with wet hair. Shizuo smiled at Izaya as he came back. Izaya handed him the towels and watched him as he dried himself. Shizuo noticed Izaya's red glimmering eyes.

"Sorry."

Izaya heard Shizuo softly whisper as he got closer to him. Izaya could feel his breath against Shizuo and those hazel eyes were irresistible to avoid anymore. Shizuo's hands trailed on Izaya's back and gripped on his shirt as he pulled the latter into a kiss. Shizuo's hazels, now, gazed over the bloody red ones of Izaya's hungrily as lust had over taken him. Izaya gasped as his lower lips were captured between Shizuo's but there was no interruption for it to continue further. For once in his life Izaya found himself allowing the blonde into his arms.

Later that night, Izaya was sitting on his bed, with Shizuo sleeping next to him, his hands on Izaya. Izaya had suddenly realized the heavy breath on his chest. His job and Shizuo…why does it have to be Shizuo?

He regretted all his decisions and steps in life. He never thought that he would look back and regret anything until he found Shizuo at his doorstep. Why couldn't it be him and Shizuo? Why can't he have a normal life like everyone else? Why does it have to be so complicated? Not only that their love is hard but they are so different from each other as well.

He thought all night. What could he do for them to be happy and normal? One and only thing he could see was that it was impossible to untangle the knots already tied now. It only happened three hours ago, but it is impossible now. There was no turning back now.

What can he do now? But he would always have Shizuo by his side. That is all he wanted and he had it so, he should not worry.

He has Shizuo, who would save him no matter what. The darkness can never devour him as Shizuo is his light now. His unconditional love is all he needs to escape the following darkness. Shizuo is his only small drop of hope he has for the future.

Izaya heaved a loud sigh as he looked at the sleeping Shizuo.

With Shizuo in his life, everything became unpredictable. It felt like they were both on a boat with no compass. Izaya was amused with the unexpected turn of events and he liked that challenge. Finding his own path with Shizuo next to him was his challenge and he is gonna break this challenge. He can always break any code and this was just one of them. He only needed instinct to do it and he had it. He knew that he and Shizuo were meant to be together in the long run.

The thunder outside awoke Izaya to reality. He was in this pub again, in a dark corner with his drinks but he wasn't drunk. He was not planning on getting drunk. He felt his pager vibrate, it was time to go.

Shizuo was standing near the alleyway, waiting for him. Those stern hazel eyes reflected on his red glimmering ones.

Another thundering rainy night was above them. He couldn't forget their first time together seeing Shizuo's wet hair in the rain. Shizuo's hazel eyes were so mesmerizing…

Suddenly he noticed a silver flick through the rain drops. The thunder and shots were just the same. Izaya's red eyes bulged as the blood dripped on the floor. It went through the rib cage with a crack only Izaya could hear.

Checkmate and it was clearly Izaya's lost.

A gun was aimed at his head and his chest and legs were bleeding all too much. He fell down to the muddy floor, feeling the pen knife hid in his leg, but he was in no physical condition to reach it and defend himself from the blonde.

He shouldn't have brought a knife to a gun play.

The blood was pumping out from his veins. His sight was blurring with the raindrops and the numb pain. Maybe this was all a delusion caused by the drugs. It was pathetic that he was wanted the person standing behind the trigger to come forward to sacrifice himself for him, but that was impossible as well.

He could feel the hazel stare looking down at him as he coughed blood. The darkness devoured his light before devouring him. He only wanted be normal. They only wanted be normal.

He lifted his hands to reach for the blonde. He could only see the bright diamond ring's shimmer in the lightning. How it was slipped onto him when he was sleeping next Shizuo and how surprised he felt. How those hazel eyes assured their happiness all too much to end up in his blood pool.

He could feel the cold blood of the night and his last glance to be the diamond ring along with the hazel stare. His last glance was all he ever wanted in his life, feeling drop of luck in his mind, he closed his eyes.

Izaya heard two gunshots as he closed his eyes.

One bullet passed through his chest.

Lead in his heart. Lead in a head.

x.