Chapter 5. Love and Secrets

Nozomi prepared to leave an hour before their appointed meeting time. It was an unfamiliar place, and she was not used to taking the Tokyo streetcars. She was also afraid to ask anyone for help; perhaps the meeting place was a secret, and she and maybe even Eli could be discovered if she spoke of it to anyone. Maybe it was a test for her, Nozomi imagined. Maybe Eli wanted to know how seriously she was committed, and whether she had the most basic skills. How ironic would it be if she were to get lost on this simple trip.

She wore dull clothes: a thick skirt, a gray coat over her purple sweater, a black knitted wool scarf. She must have looked like an old lady (all the better to hide from the secret police, she supposed). The meeting place was near the port, with two changes of streetcars needed. Nozomi had never been there, but she had heard of the neighborhood. It was a district filled with those who worked in the docks and factories by the coast, coarse men and their country-born wives, a place of drunken brawls and unsolved murders. It would be an easy place to hide, or to disappear.

Nozomi rode the streetcars in silence, watching her breath fog on the windows. She watched the splendor of the city center gradually disappear, replaced by narrow streets and mazes of densely packed low-slung wooden houses. The trip was easier than she had feared. There were few passengers at this hour, early on Sunday, and the trams were on time. After she got off at her last stop, she still had a ways to walk. The meeting place was within one of the dense blocks of houses, where cars could hardly enter. Here, the houses seemed more like shacks or hovels. Fifty years ago this would have been a village with rice fields; the city had grown like a fire, consuming all that surrounded it.

"Miss Tojo?" The girl's voice made Nozomi jump. She was a high school student, it seemed, still in uniform on a Sunday. "I recognized you by a drawing," she said as if anticipating Nozomi's question.

"Miss Ayase asked me to deliver it to you today," the girl continued. "She was unable to come, but she asked me to tell you of your next rendezvous with her. Follow me."

Nozomi eyed the girl cautiously. She had a soft voice and a calm demeanor, and spoke formally. She seemed trustworthy, but why was Eli working with high school girls? The girl had turned around, and Nozomi was following her through the narrow paths. She could easily have gotten lost without the girl, with all the turns they were making.

"You can call me Fumiko," the girl said, her voice flat and businesslike. "Her sister is my close friend, and Miss Ayase is like a big sister to me. So what is you relation to her?"

Nozomi thought for a moment before speaking. "I am a new friend of hers."

"Oh? She seemed quite enamored of you. From the portrait she drew I had thought you would be a little more... striking." Eli drew portraits? That was something new. Now Nozomi was curious to see the picture Eli had of her.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you. I really don't know what she sees in me."

"Yes... Now here we are." Fumiko pointed to a house that looked no different from all the others. She unlocked the door, and invited Nozomi inside.

"Would you like some tea?" Fumiko asked.

"Okay, thank you."

While the pot of water was boiling, Fumiko went to a room in the back of the house. She emerged with a filled messenger bag.

"After we are done here, take this to Miss Ayase. Do not let anyone else open it."

As Fumiko went to the kitchen, Nozomi looked around the house. It seemed nicer from the inside. The walls were plastered white, with scrolls of calligraphy hanging down. The floors were swept clean. This didn't seem to be the girl's house, and Nozomi wondered if anyone lived in here. It must have been one of the "safehouses" that they always talked about in the spy novels.

"How did you get involved in this business?" Nozomi asked as the girl returned with the tea.

"Do you think I'm too young to understand what I'm doing?" The girl's expression was as implacable as ever, her voice not betraying any anger.

"No... I'm just curious."

The girl just sighed. "How did you come to be in this business, Miss Tojo?"

Obviously she couldn't say that it was because she fell in love with Eli. "I have my reasons, "she said with a cryptic smile.

"I see," Fumiko said, and they finished their tea in silence. Everyone had their secrets.

"I'll walk you back to the tram stop," the girl told Nozomi. "Miss Ayase is waiting for you at her apartment. She told me to give you the address. Here." She handed Nozomi a slip of paper, and opened the door.

They left, and walked in silence through the maze of narrow paths, Nozomi slinging the bag across her shoulder. When they arrived at the tram stop, Fumiko left her with a wave. "I hope to see you again," the girl said as she turned to leave.

Now, Nozomi had to get to Eli's apartment. It wasn't too far from the shrine, close enough that she could first get to the shrine and then walk there. The trams were a bit more crowded now that it was midday. Nozomi did her best to hide herself and look inconspicuous. She wondered about the secret police: were any of them watching her? She watched the passengers, and failed to notice anyone suspicious. That of course didn't mean that there wasn't anyone watching her.

By the time she got to Eli's apartment, she was already a bit hungry, but she held on, wanting to make the rendezvous as soon as possible. The apartment was in a white stone building with an ornate facade, overlooking a broad avenue. The wooden front doors were locked. Nozomi knocked, but there was no reply. Soon, though, the door opened, and a girl emerged. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, like Eli.

"You must be Nozomi. Come in, my sister is waiting for you. I'm Alisa. Nice to finally meet you." She led Nozomi along several winding flights of stairs before arriving at their apartment. Eli was there, wearing just her pajamas, standing at a kitchen table.

"It's warm here. You can take off your coat." Eli stared into Nozomi's eyes, smiling gently. Nozomi couldn't help but stare back, transfixed.

"Yes... Thank you," Nozomi replied hesitantly, handing her coat to Eli's sister.

"Sit down. You must be hungry." Nozomi took off her shoes and sat at the Western-style dinner table. Eli and her sister carried bowls out of the kitchen filled with some unfamiliar soup. They sat down next to her and started to eat.

"Does it taste strange? It's a Russian specialty."

"No, it's quite delicious."

After the meal, Alisa was going to take a nap, so Eli and Nozomi had the opportunity to talk. Eli led her into her bedroom.

"Did you meet her?", Eli asked.

"Yes, I did. She told me to give this to you." Nozomi handed the bag of documents to Eli.

"Fumiko is a nice girl. It's too bad she is caught up in ... this," Eli muttered. "Were you curious about what was inside?"

Nozomi shook her head. "I was too afraid of being caught to think about that."

Eli smiled. "Unlike me, you can go outside without everyone turning their heads."

"But what were the documents?"

"Oh, nothing too important. Maybe it's better if you didn't know."

"Why? Don't you trust me?" Nozomi pouted, trying to conceal her annoyance with playfulness.

"Honestly? It's because if they catch you, they can use any information you know against you, and against me. We have to be careful."

"So what will we do next?", Nozomi asked.

"We lay low until my contacts give me another assignment. Meanwhile I need you to be my eyes and ears in the world. I need you to listen to all the people who come to the shrine, to understand the hearts and minds of the country. We don't just need to know their war plans, but remember if they let anything slip. Listen to their fears and worries, their hopes and goals. Whenever we are able to meet again, tell me what you have heard."

Nozomi took hold of Eli's hand. "Whenever we are able? Why do you say that?"

Eli sighed. "I don't know. I'm not suppposed to be like this. I'm just so frightened right now, and..."

"Don't worry. We'll get through this together." Her words sounded hollow. Perhaps Eli noticed; perhaps she did not.

"Yes, I suppose." Eli looked at Nozomi. "Will you do this for me, then?"

"Yes, I will." Nozomi smiled, and drew Eli closer to her body. She looked into Eli's sky-blue eyes. They were like mirrors, glistening with reflections of the secrets each of them had kept. They kissed, and Nozomi drew closer still, until their bodies were as one. Nozomi moved her hands up from Eli's waist, until she reached her collar button.

"No! Don't get too close to me!" Eli pushed Nozomi away, the latter drawing back in surprise. "Sorry," she said after a moment of calm.

"No, I should be sorry," Nozomi said. "I should have known..."

"No, I love you... It's just..."

"Whatever it is, it's fine." Nozomi smiled, and held Eli's hands. "We're together now, right?"

"Right..." Tears formed in Eli's eyes. Nozomi wiped them away with her hands. For countless moments they did nothing but hold each other, feeling the gentle sway of their breathing? their heartbeats.

"Is it okay if we never see each other again?", Eli whispered.

Nozomi shook her head. "Of course it's not okay. But that's why we must treasure each moment we have."

"I'm scared. I'm so, so scared. And I'm scared for you." Eli buried her face in Nozomi's chest.

"I know. That's why we have to be careful."

"You're already better at this than I am."

"Thanks." Nozomi felt a little pride. She was used to secrets, used to hiding her true self to the world. The only difference was that the stakes were higher now.

The sky was getting dark when Nozomi returned to her shrine. "You smell different," one of the girls commented. Nozomi shrugged. Eli wore perfume. She would have to remember to wash it off. She had to be entirely inconspicuous, to blend in as she did before, to be calm, to show nothing of the torrents of emotion that raged within her. She had to be an invisible observer, watching and listening without any notice. It was time for her to begin.

Notes:

Sorry. It's been a long time but I think I want to finish this story. Hopefully.