A/N: I received the prompt for KaiShin and 50 (writer's preference) so I chose 5 (Wait a minute. Are you jealous?) because there is a sad lack of KID being jealous over Conan chasing Lupin and there needs to be more of that in the world. Also, points (and maybe a oneshot of your choice) go to whoever can guess where the inspiration for the lycra shorts came from }:3 (also wtf even are titles)

Crossposted from Tumblr and to AO3

This heist was, simply put, a disaster. Not for KID, oh no, but for the people chasing him? Oh yeah.

Half the Task Force was currently in duct tape tutus while the other half had lycra shorts and rainbow clown wigs on. It was definitely more of the Task Force than anybody had wanted to see ever.

Conan had only avoided a similar fate because when he got close enough to KID there was pink smoke, a bright flash, and suddenly the two of them were in what he recognized to be the museum's employee break room. He cursed his small body as KID plopped him into a rather comfortable chair and yes those were handcuffs around his wrists securing him to the armrests. The shrunken teen fixed KID with a baleful glare as he pulled up a chair in front of him and sat down close enough that their knees were almost touching.

"Now tantei-kun, I think it's time we had a chat," the thief said with a grin that had a rather hard edge to it. "Mainly about your extracurricular activities."

"Excuse me?" Conan said with a raised eyebrow.

"Not the murders, you can't really help those, no, I'm talking about other thieves."

"This is about Lupin?" Conan huffed.

"Yes, that stupid monkey," KID scowled. "Monopolizing my Task Force, putting you in danger and getting you shot!"

"Well I did bring the FBI into the scene," Conan mused. "Besides, it was just a graze-"

"Meitantei," KID interrupted. He leaned forward, tone serious and face grave. "You almost died. If that plane had-" He stopped himself mid sentence, teeth gritting together. "I get that it's exciting to chase thieves around, after all we are a crafty and highly interesting bunch, but you don't need him when you've got me."

Conan just stared for a moment. "Are… are you jealous?" he asked, hesitant and a little incredulous.

"No!" KID denied rather quickly. "I'm just invested in what's mine is all." He scowled. "If that monkey is going to disguise himself as me and try to steal my Task Force and detective, he's going to have to learn to face the consequences."

"Does Hakuba not count as your detective?" Conan asked, noting the singular use of the word with a raised eyebrow.

KID waved flapped one hand around, the other arm raised in a shrug. "He's in England half the time and besides, he's not as fun as you." He grinned dangerously at Conan. "You do give me the best challenges, Meitantei."

There was something wrong with his life that that made his cheeks heat up and something warm flutter in his chest. "So glad I entertain you," the detective retorted, slumping against the chair back because really, he wasn't going to go anywhere KID didn't want him to go right now.

"Glad you're starting to see things my way," the thief said with a wide smile, almost a smirk. "Now, the next time you see Lupin you'll do what?"

"Either dart him or kick a soccer ball at his face, both of which I would've done without your intervention?" Conan drawled sarcastically.

"Bingo~" KID grinned. He patted the shrunken teen patronizingly on the knee before standing. "Now, I have a date with the wind, so if you'll excuse me I'll be going."

"Oh yes, you totally need my permission to leave," Conan snarked, trying to wriggle out of the cuffs now that it was apparent KID was leaving.

"Now now tantei-kun," KID chided. "I'm all for marking you as mine for all to see, but you shouldn't hurt yourself." He snapped and the cuffs unlocked before KID disappeared in a burst of white smoke.

Conan coughed before huffing irritably. Honestly, getting the equivalent of the Stranger Danger talk from Kaitou KID? Talk about hypocritical, not to mention surreal.

It only got worse when he arrived home to find KID had left a letter for Ran about the dangers of small detectives going off with unknown thieves and there were some very good child leashes out there, would she be interested in getting one custom made?

(He was going to kick a fucking fireworks ball at that stupid thief next they met, see if he wouldn't!)