Originally this was titled WHY CAN I ONLY WRITE BADLY WRITTEN EGG PORN.

You know, this was supposed to be a crack fic where I could get my Lavellan to spank Solas? And then it turned into this half angsty porny piece of trash? Hnghs? Sigh.

She's not quite sure how it happened.

Lavellan knows that her and Solas are in this weird spot in their relationship where they're quite clearly a thing (note: lingering stares and loving endearments) but they have to pretend that they're not. She's not entirely sure why, but for the sake of protecting what he does allow her, she abides by his rules.

So naturally, when Lavellan wakes up in the middle of the night – alone – without any real way to outlet her an all too familiar pulse between her thighs, she decides to go for a walk. She finds it hard to relieve herself on her own – she gets too distracted, too frustrated with Solas' lack of presence.

And even more naturally, she walks into Solas' rotunda, looking for a book to immerse herself in so that she doesn't have to keep thinking about what his long, slender, capable fingers would feel like inside of her.

Or what his arse would look like if he were on top of her, fucking her into wanton abandon.

It's been a while since she's wanted someone like this. She hadn't expected to want Solas as much as she does. The kisses they've shared have been far too few and hungry and they leave her wanting more almost every night. Yet she's too afraid to approach him, scared that he will leave her once again. So instead she simply lingers near the flame that he is, speaks to him for countless hours on seemingly endless nights, listening to all the stories he has to offer. It's these times where he'll offer her a slow caress of her hair, maybe her cheek as well. They will stare at each other for what seems to be hours and she will be too scared to hover closer to him, too scared to break the moment. The air will feel full with her want for him. "Ma vhenan," she might whisper, hoping for something more.

Only for him to withdraw.

So tonight, she is going to try to forget. Forget about the way that he looks at her, as if she is the wonder of the world, exquisite and wild and beautiful. Lavellan finds the book that she thinks will do just the thing. Theories of the Fade: 4th Edition. Interesting stuff, hopefully.

That is, until Solas walks in himself.

"Inquisitor," he says, surprised. "I didn't think you'd be up at this time."

Seeing him immediately flares her desires to life and she almost drops her book. "I couldn't sleep," Lavellan says, carefully placing the book down. He looks so handsome in the moonlight. She wants him to touch her so badly. Wants to feel his hot breath against her ear. Wants to feel the plains of his chest, fall into him completely.

He nods. "There are many battles ahead. I can understand why it would be difficult for you. Can I do anything to help you rest, lethallin?"

Lavellan stares at him. She could say it. Or she could not say it. She could say what's been on her mind for the past few months, what she's been aching for since the first time he kissed her. She wonders if her want for him is transparent as it feels, if the candlelight is forgiving enough to hide the hot blush that is creeping up on her cheeks as the moments pass.

She allows her gaze to run all down his body, starting from his eyes, his beautiful eyes, to his ears, his neck, the straight inclination of his chest, to his hips... when she glances back up his face, his gaze is more measured, more heavy than it was before.

Dread Wolf take her, she has to say it.

"I want you inside of me, Solas," she whispers.

Solas doesn't respond immediately, his gaze falling to her breasts briefly before looking away entirely. "Vhenan, we can't."

"Just to feel you, ma vhenan, that's all I wish," she continues, walking towards him. She raises her shirt over her head, her breasts bare. She hears his breath hitch; it's too late to apologise and go back now. Perhaps she can chip into that stone resolve after all. "Touch me, please."

"I... I can't. Please, don't ask me of this." He is still looking away, and that's the key, she thinks. She just has to get him to look at her.

"I won't," she concedes. He's hard, she can see it. And he's not walking away, either. If she'd known her breasts would be the right anchor to make him stay... "Just... let me look at you, then. While I touch myself. Is that alright?"

"I..."

"Please?"

She pulls her pants and smalls down, leaving them in a pile near her ankles. Sitting on the desk behind her and spreading her legs wide, she looks at him and begins to stroke her clitoris, unable to contain a moan. She watches his hands clench and smiles to herself – it is a relief to at least to know that he wants her as much as she wants him.

Lavellan draws slow circles around her clitoris, and then quicker ones, unable to contain her own moaning. Though her eyes are closed, she can feel his stare on her, and her core pulses in response. She can feel herself getting wet, so wet, and she slides her finger down inside of her, gasping at the sensation. "Solas," she sighs, feeling herself flutter around her own fingers, a sorry substitute for what she really wants. She inserts another finger and moans again, her other hand traveling down to attend to her clit.

As she rises higher and higher to completion, she suddenly feels Solas on top of her, hands placed hungrily on her thighs and his lips fiercely kissing her all over her body, leaving a hot trail of electricity all over her skin. His mouth reaches her breast and sucks on her nipple, which draws a high pitched gasp from her and has her wriggling beneath him. He feels so, so good, she thinks, delirious with ecstasy. Then he peppers her neck, her jaw, her cheek, and licks into her lips, his tongue delving deep into her mouth.

Eager to have him inside her, she pulls down his pants and takes his cock into her hands, stroking it a few times just to have the pleasure of feeling it with her hands. He's hers, finally hers, and there's nothing he can do to stop it. She aims it towards her slit, rubs it against herself for a little bit, just to hear him groan in her mouth, to hear that velvety vibration and feel it run under every inch of her skin. It's Solas that pushes past her hand to get inside of her, and they both gasp at the feeling. It feels good. So very good.

He rocks into her slowly, gently, making all sorts of amazing noises against her neck as she cherishes the feeling of simply having him in her. She feels like she could do this for hours, just with him in her, pleasure emitting from every nerve in her core. Wrapping her legs around his waist so that he can go deeper inside her, she looks at him, at his dark eyes. "Ma vhenan," she breathes, pressing her forehead to his. "Ar lath ma, ma vhenan."

"Ar lath ma, emma lath," he responds, a shudder to his voice. Then he seems to collapse into her, so that they are simply bare flesh against bare flesh, his face buried into the crook of his neck. He's whispering, "Ar lath ma, ar lath ma, ar lath ma, ar lath ma" over and over again, his thrust coming faster and harder. She runs her hands along his sides, down to his arse, and uses one hand to spank him. She smiles sheepishly to herself and feels him chuckle against her neck. They're quickly reduced to hot breaths and pants again, trying to move closer and closer together, holding onto each other as tight as they can.

It isn't long before Lavellan comes with a gasp, a tight explosion of white-hot pleasure that seems to last forever, rendering her entire body into jelly. "Vhenan," he grounds out. "Ar nuvena to garas in ma... sarathan lasa em garas in ma..."

"Garas, vhenan, garas," Lavellan all but cries, overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside of her. "Isalathe to sildeara ma garas in em... please, Solas..."

That sends him over the edge and he groans, loudly, elbows attempting to keep steady on either side of her as he buckles onto her. She can feel both their heart beats pumping fast and quick, the rush of sex slowly dying down. The sweat on their skin is becoming cold, their breathing stabilising. She stares up at him, still in a haze. He returns her look with a warm, almost sad one.

"Come with me, vhenan," he murmurs, slipping out of her and reaching for her clothes. "Sleep with me tonight."

"You don't regret this, Solas?" she inquires, unsure as she slips her shirt on.

The look he gives her is unreadable. "Let us not ask questions tonight," he says quietly, taking her hand in his. "Let us sleep."

Ar lath ma - I love you
Emma lath - my love
Vhenan - my heart
Ar nuvena to gara in ma - I want to come in you
Sarathan lasa em garas in ma - Please let me come in you
Garas, vhenan, garas - come, my heart, come
Isalathe to sildeara ma garas in em - I need you to come in me