Finally getting back to this story. I warn you. I use Amber/Melissa interchangeably throughout the chapter. I still haven't fully accepted the name change...

Danny shuffled up the hall, awake only because of a pesky headache. He paused in the doorway and smiled. Steve lay on the couch still wrapped in the afghan. His friend looked peaceful, and he didn't want to disturb him, so he leaned against the wall, eyes closed, breathing through the pain from his head and side.

If he'd been asleep, Steve didn't stay that way for long. He stretched and greeted his partner.

"Hey, Danny. How are you feeling?"

"Good morning to you, too." He ignored the question and led with a joke. "You talk in your sleep, babe."

Steve shifted to make room for Danny on the couch, unaware he was being set up. "What did I say?"

Danny didn't have to be asked to sit down. His whole body was now protesting being out of bed. He settled beside Steve before answering. "It's classified."

Steve groaned. "You know that really doesn't work when you say it."

"What ever. Can't you take a joke, you big goof?" Danny leaned back against the cushions, trying to get comfortable. "Thanks for staying, babe."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else right now."

Both men smiled, but avoided the eyes of the other.

"Sorry I scared you."

"It's okay, Danny. It's not your fault."

Then came a huge admission. "I wasn't taking care of myself."

"You were stabbed. You haven't been yourself."

"No." He looked away. "I just didn't care."

"What are you talking about?"

Before Danny could answer, his cell phone vibrated from his robe pocket. "Might be Grace."

Steve shrugged and got up from the couch, giving his friend some space.

"It's Melissa."

Anger rushed to Steve's face, flushing his cheeks. He hoped the shadows hid his face a little, but his voice would always give him away. "I'll be outside. I left my overnight kit out there."

A lie. The duffel sat on the floor by the couch.

He didn't know what they were talking about, didn't care. If Amber set foot on the property, he would have a chat with her.

/./././

Steve stopped her before she even got out of her vehicle. "We need to talk."

"I'm sorry." She held his gaze as she closed the car door. "If that means anything."

He wasn't looking at her, but through her, as he let his focus soften. "I know. You were scared."

His tone was hard, little emotion. She simply nodded before adding. "I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt."

"Well they did, Amber." Steve didn't bother calling her Melissa. He didn't care. He kicked a rock, looking away as he watched it skip across the yard. "You hurt Danny. Me. And Grace. Everyone who cares about him."

He exhaled and turned his back to her.

"I can't begin to tell you...if something happened..." He cleared his throat and turned to face her again. "You should have told him. You didn't. Plain and simple."

"I didn't." She had that deer in the headlights look on her face, eyes shining with tears. "And I almost lost him."

Her voice crumbled as what was left of her composure faded. The rest tumbled out of her. So intense Steve reached out to steady her as she confessed her sins.

"I was...I was a stupid kid. I ran. I should have told Danny about Frank. I should have told him everything. I was wrong. I believed I was damaged goods. I was afraid he wouldn't want me if he knew the truth."

"Listen to me." He gave her a little shake. "Tears won't change anything. Danny loves you."

She was quiet for a few seconds, eyes avoiding Steve. Then she whispered. "I don't deserve it."

He shook his head. "Look, I can't do this. I can't talk rationally about this right now."

She nodded.

"I can help you with the charges. There were extenuating circumstances. You can say it was self defense. But you're not getting off easy."

"I know, they've already set up counseling and community service."

"You killed a man, Amber."

"Tell me something I don't know, Steve." Now there was fire behind her words. "I've lived this nightmare. Now, it's over."

"Yours maybe."

"Wait, is Danny gonna be okay?"

"No thanks to you." He squeezed the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry."

"You want me to break up with him."

"I didn't say that. No."

"I love Danny.

"Sure he isn't just another older guy? Just like Frank?"

Her face turned red. "He's nothing like Frank. Danny's the best man I know."

That was all he needed. Danny was the best man he knew too. Steve sighed, letting go of some of his frustration and anger.

Danny startled them both. "Wait a minute, Steven. You're the one who told me age didn't matter."

He rubbed his eyes and limped toward them, hand on his waist.

"Danny, you should be in bed." Amber rushed toward him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, doll." He gave her a grin and a kiss on the cheek. "Everything okay out here?"

She nodded, giving Steve a look to follow her lead. She wiped her eyes. "Everything's fine. Steve and I were just chatting. It's nothing."

"I heard. Sounded pretty heavy to me." Danny dabbed a tear from her cheek. "Melissa, could you go inside for a minute? I need to chat with my partner here alone."

Both men watched her go inside, waiting til she closed the door.

"What are you doing, Steven?"

Steve glared at Danny, not saying anything.

"Come on, spill it."

"I'm just looking out for you."

"I don't need your help."

"Seems like you do, Daniel."

"What's that supposed to mean? I never hassle you about Catherine."

Another round of silence. Then Steve blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

"She's too young for you."

"What?" Danny just shook his head. "You told me age didn't matter, babe. I'm confused."

"That was before."

"Before?"

"Before I found out her ex was an older guy too."

Danny exhaled loudly, holding his side. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's a pattern, Danny."

"A pattern? What? You think I'm gonna-"

"Not you. Amber."

"Her name is Melissa."

"Amber has a thing for older guys."

Danny giggled in spite of himself. "So? You have a thing for guns and things that go boom. Do I get on your case about that?"

Hands on his hips, Steve groaned.

"Oh wait." Danny's giggle grew into a laugh and he winced. "I get on your case all the time."

"So, are we even?"

Danny slapped Steve on the back. "Who's keeping score, babe? Not me."

"Go, talk to Amber." He cringed. "I'm sorry. Melissa. Go talk to Melissa."

/./././

"I am so sorry, Danny." She held both of his hands in her own, but she couldn't meet his gaze. "My phone died and I got so busy at work. I had to catch up after missing time. Then I went home and basically crashed."

He closed his eyes and just allowed himself to simply feel the warmth of her skin, focus on that connection. He wasn't angry. He didn't blame her for anything. Hell, he held nothing against her. Life was messed up sometimes. Things happened.

He knew she needed to get it all out, and he'd let her do just that.

"Then I started worrying I was running away again."

Her breath hitched a little and he gave her hands a quick squeeze.

"I don't wanna do that to you. I just..."

He waited but she didn't finish the sentence. His mind filled in the blank. And it wasn't good. The thought actually gave him a pain in his chest. His fingers suddenly felt numb and he let go of her hands.

Danny opened his eyes. Melissa still held her arms out in front of her. Now it looked like she was shielding herself. This made him grab her and pull her close. He winced and groaned from the pain and she tried to pull away. He squeezed harder and then relaxed a little to send a message.

Don't move. Don't leave me. Not yet.

And he said the words that had been on his tip of his tongue for weeks.

"I understand. I only want you to be happy."

They were one size fits all. They'd fit any situation. He had them ready to help ease the pain.

Amber pushed away, unwinding one arm from around his waist. Concern shaded her eyes just a little darker. She looked almost angry.

He feared he'd said the wrong thing.

"No, Danny." She touched him. "I don't want to leave you."

His eyes pinched with tears.

She leaned in a little closer, hand rubbing his arm now. Like she knew he needed the comfort and reassurance. Knowing his pessimistic nature.

"I love you, Jersey." The words were said slowly with a hint of a smile. "I'm not ready to let this go. Are you?"

"No, no." His whisper hesitant.

"Good." She squeezed his shoulder, digging her nails in just a little. She looked him right in the eyes, making sure she had his attention, and waited until he returned her smile. "Then we're really starting over. No more secrets."

Danny had to clear his throat before he could answer, felt like he'd swallowed a bucket of rocks. "No more secrets."

It was Amber who initiated the kiss. She was warm and familiar, and he let his body relax into her touch. Sighing, he let her hold him up, safe in knowing she was one more person he could lean on.

The other person was waiting somewhere nearby, and Danny really needed to set things straight with his best friend. Things had been too tense between them.

He drifted and normally, it would have been mortifying to fall asleep mid kiss, but he was exhausted and his meds were kicking in. Amber didn't seem to mind. Taking his hand, she led him back the hall toward his bedroom.

"No, no..." He stopped her. "Steve. I need to talk to him. Set things right."

"Okay, Danny." She smiled, unsure of her next move. "Maybe I should go then? Give you some space?"

He nodded. He really didn't want an audience.

"You'll be okay?"

"Steve's a good babysitter." Danny smiled. "When he's not blowing things up."

/././

Steve stood at the front door, waving to Amber as she backed out of the drive. He wasn't sure he should be letting her off the hook, but for today, he was satisfied. She hadn't meant to hurt Danny.

"We're starting over, and I don't have a clue what that means." The words came out fast and a little slurred. Danny wasn't quite awake. "I'm gonna need you, buddy."

"You always have me, Danny." Steve was confused. Danny actually looked sad.

"Yea, I know. Sometimes you seem..." Danny scratched his head pushing his hair in all directions. "...a little distant. Lost. Like in the kitchen last night."

"Danny, I've had a lot on my mind."

"I know, I know. And I've left it alone." He yawned, hand on his belly. "Ow, that hurts. I need coffee."

"It's bedtime, buddy."

"So?"

"Won't the caffeine keep you up?"

"Nah, I'm immune."

"Then why drink it?"

Danny shrugged. "Why do anything?"

"Fair enough." Steve needed to shift gears or they might talk in circles all night. Or at least until Danny face planted into his bed. "Why did Melissa leave? I thought you'd want to spend the evening with her."

"She didn't want to intrude."

"Intrude?"

"You and me."

"What about us?"

"We need to talk, babe."

Steve blanched at those words, though he knew they were coming. He wanted to talk to his best friend, but not right then. "You need to sleep, pal. Talk can wait."

"No, no it can't. I almost di-"

"Stop. You're tired. Frankly, I'm tired too. I don't want to have this conversation - any conversation - like this." Steve was losing his last strand of patience.

Danny flopped onto the couch, one hand in his hair, the other tracing the line of the bandage on his abdomen through his T-shirt. Steve studied his partner for a few seconds, wary of what might come out of his mouth next.

To his surprise, he found himself opening up. "I never worry when we're doing our jobs. I'm focused."

"Like a nightmare." A loud exhale from Steve made Danny reach out and grab his leg. "I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm sorry."

"So I scare you. Really?"

"Scare may not be the right word. Vex...concern...frustrate. Those may be closer."

"I would never put you in danger, Danny."

"Clearly you're referring to Melissa. Which is neither here nor there, Steven."

"She put your life in danger." The words were said in a tone that made Danny sit up a little straighter.

"She didn't mean to-"

"What? So you think I do it on purpose?"

"No I do not think you do it on purpose."

"Then what?" Hands on his hips, Steve glared at his best friend. "Don't you trust me?"

"What?"

"Trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Why?"

They stared at one another for an awkward few seconds. Danny looked away first.

"I trust you, Steve." His voice not far from a whisper.

"Why?"

"I can't explain it, alright? What do you want to hear? That I worship the ground you walk on because you're a goddamn Navy SEAL?"

Wincing, Steve sucked in a breath like he'd been stung. Too stunned to say anything.

"Okay, now that came out wrong." Danny's voice wavered ever so much.

Steve sat next to Danny. "We can't even -"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"What the hell is wrong with us?"

Danny shrugged, shaking his head slowly. "I don't know."

"Therapy was supposed to help."

"Hey, it will, babe." Danny gave his partner half a smile. He reached out to rub his arm but his hand fell short as Steve pulled away. "We have conversations like this and you ask my why I worry."

"Danny...you don't need to worry..."

"I do. Because you're my best friend. And you've got a lot on our plate."

"No excuse. I haven't been -"

"Stop right now. This-" Danny gestured between them. "This is a two way street."

"We've been hitting a few bumps lately, my friend."

"That was bad, babe. Even for you."

"Takes one to know one." Steve grinned.

They both laughed, and then Danny circled back to Steve's question.

"Of course I trust you, Steve."

His smile disappeared, and Steve shifted away from his partner. "I thought we were done with that tangent."

"I gotta make sure you know. As much as I bitch and complain-"

"Stop Danny."

"I'm an asshole."

"You're not an asshole, buddy. I've been an asshole."

"No, you're a stone cold killer, Steve."

"Okay..." Steve eyed his partner with concern. This was a turn for the weird. "What does that-"

"-have to do with anything?"

"Yea...I'm starting to think you mixed up your meds."

"You know how to turn off your emotions. You've been doing it forever."

"So? Comes with the job."

"Is that all this is?"

"What? No, Danny wait...I-"

Danny closed his eyes, letting his head fall against the back of the couch. He didn't know if he could get up, let alone walk to his bed. He was not letting Steve carry him either. A flashback from two nights ago hit him. He remembered curling up on this couch, shivering from a chill that just wouldn't stop. The basketball game had given him the worst headache. But he'd stayed there, alone in his misery. Believing he was getting what he deserved.

That's when it hit him.

"This isn't your fault." He lifted his head again and looked right at his best friend. It was uncomfortable because the look on Steve's face was all kinds of wrong. Danny knew he'd hit the mark. "I haven't been taking care of myself, okay? I pushed too hard, ignored my doc's orders. I'm a grown man. And I also haven't been the best friend to you."

"Danny, stop-"

"No, hear me out. Then you can bitch."

"If you ever stop talking!" Steve groaned. "I'm sorry. I told you we shouldn't be doing this now."

"But now's when we'll be honest, babe." Danny had to put his head back again as he felt a little dizzy. His voice was nothing but sincere, the sentiment almost an after thought if it weren't the heart of the matter. "You can't go through life thinking everything is your fault."

Steve felt like a sullen child and wanted to throw what ever he could back in Danny's face.

"Well, you can't go through life thinking - wait," Steve laughed. "We both have the same problem."

"You just figured that out?" Danny tossed a pillow at his partner, but missed by a mile.

"Yea, but you and me." Steve motioned between them. "I want us to be alright."

"People grow apart. It's okay, Steve. Really."

"That's not what this is about."

"Then what?" Danny rubbed his eyes. He could barely keep them open.

"I just got tired of your bitching." Steve exhaled loudly and closed his eyes. "That came out...I don't mean it like that."

"No, it's okay. I like honesty."

"I needed a break."

Danny nodded. "Lou and the golf thing, I know."

"Just when you needed me."

"I've been a bit of a drag. I tend to wallow."

"Stop making this all okay. Because it's not."

"Look, it is what it is."

"Who knew you were so philosophical."

"How can you even say philosophical right now?"

Steve shouted his next words. "You just did."

Danny stared at the ceiling, biting his tongue. The conversation was over. "Alright. It's time for bed. We're both nuts. I can't take it."

"Come on, let me help get you to bed. Did you take your meds?"

"Not a child, Steven."

Steve threw his hands in the air as he exaggerated his next words. "Excuse me."

Not giving Danny an opening for a comeback, he jumped up and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Hey! Where'd ya go? Come on." Danny craned his neck to see the direction Steve had gone. "I'm sorry. Hey Steve?"

"Want some coffee, Danny?"

Steve's annoyed question was by an equally annoyed answer.

"Didn't I just say that, babe?"

Danny fell over on the couch, arranging a couple pillows under his head. He closed his eyes and smiled, feeling a little lighter in spite of the dull ache in his side. Listening to his best friend rummaging in his kitchen was quite soothing.

Ten minutes later, Steve was back.

"One perfect cup of coffee, coming right up, your royal highness." Despite the snark laced comment, his smile was genuine.

He found his partner curled up sideways on the couch, sound asleep.

"Hey, Danno." He whispered to no response.

Setting the mug on the coffee table, he watched Danny for a minute before covering him with the afghan. The demented troll doll hair was still there, but his friend looked so much better. Steve sank into the nearby chair and sighed, relieved.

Things were going to be alright.

Thank you for reading. Until next time...