Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.

Stan's Biggest Secret

It was late. Soos's grandma had called to say he had made it home from wherever he was, Wendy had gone home and the kids were in bed. 'Lucky them' Stan thought, smirking to himself in amusement as he walked into the kitchen with what was clearly an old, beat-up scrapbook in hand. There was nothing keeping them up at midnight; nothing keeping them from having a good rest after these few long days.

He sighed as he sat at the table, turned on a lamp and opened the scrapbook. That whole fiasco with Darlene had ripped open some old wounds; it wasn't like he was totally unlucky in love. There had been one woman who loved him to the end. Despite himself, Stan couldn't help but smile at her picture.

Her name had been Clara, his second wife who'd left him in a more tragic manor. She smiled brightly at him from the picture, a bit of a goofy grin like Mabel's, really. He felt his eyes begin to water. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what she'd given him; he was so thankful for her gift to him, but it wasn't worth her...

"Watcha looking at?" Stan jumped at the sudden voice, but relaxed when he saw it was only Ford.

"Nothin', just some old photos." Stan said, looking back at the pictures. Now curious at his brother's wistfulness, Ford walked over to sit across from him. "They're not pictures of when we were little, poindexter. These are from after you got yourself sucked into your portal."

Had there not been a hint of playfulness in Stan's tone, Ford might have done more than role his eyes. Seeing that Stan's eyes were trained on the photo of a younger-looking him with a woman, both looking very happy, he asked. "Who's this?"

"Clara Pines." Stan said. "She was my wife. I-I met her a couple of years after I took your identity. We got along, started dating, got married, the whole shebang."

"That sounds...nice." Ford tried to give Stan a comforting smile, but Stan didn't seem to notice. "What happened?"

"She died." Stan said shortly. When he sensed Ford would want elaboration, Stan clarified quickly. "In childbirth." Ford was quiet for a moment, so Stan sighed, supposing there was no way out of this now. "We weren't planning on having kids. Growing up with our dad, I wasn't sure I could be a good father, and she understood that. But as we got older, we got careless and we...we did end up getting pregnant, in our late fifties."

"That's late." Ford commented.

"Yeah. Carrying it was the easy part, but I guess she was too old to deliver a baby. Let alone twins."

"Another set of twins?" Ford asked, silently chiding himself for finding this amusing. "Does it just run in our family?"

"Not really." Stan sighed, fiddling with the page.

"What do you mean?" Ford asked.

"Stanford." Stan said, looking at him with the most serious face the scientist had ever seen on his brother's face. "What I'm about to show you, you can't let anyone know."

"I underst–" Ford said, but was interrupted when Stan placed his elbow on the table and offered his small finger.

"No, I mean it." Stan said, looking him straight in the eyes. "Sixy-swear?"

Ford was struck dumb for a moment at the words he never thought he'd hear again after they had turned thirteen. Most young children, when they want to seal a promise, use a pinky-swear. When they were younger, the Pines brothers had used sixy-swears. Even well into adulthood, and even long after the end of their friendship, no sixy-swears had ever been broken.

Taking a deep breath, Ford warped his distinctive sixth finger around Stan's small finger. "I sixy-swear, Stan, whatever's on this page stays between us." Stan nodded, satisfied, and turned the page, revealing a single large picture of a pair of sleeping infants; one in a blue swaddle, the other in pink. Ford noticed that the boy had an odd red marking on his head.

A perfect big dipper.

"A birthmark?" he asked. "The way you were going on, I thought it'd be something bigger."

"Wait, so you don't know?" Stan asked. With how often the two hung out together, it was surprising to him that Ford didn't know about this.

"Know what?" Ford asked. Stan sighed.

"Co'mon, I'll show ya, but remember; no one can ever know."

"I got it." Ford reassured. Stan nodded. They walked to the living room, up the stairs, and entered the attic as quietly as they could.

"Keep quiet." Stan whispered and Ford nodded. Stan turned the light on, praying the kids wouldn't wake up. Luckily they didn't, although Mable stirred and turned over away from the light.

"Okay, look." Stan said, standing at the head of Dipper's bed. Ford watched as Stan carefully brushed the boy's bangs back; revealing that very same mark. Ford's eyes widened and he remembered just in time that if he made a noise, it would wake the kids. Stan turned the light off and they hurried back downstairs, back to the kitchen where the light was still on.

Stan and Ford were quiet for a moment. Ford finally sighed and spoke. "So the kids are..."

"Mine." Stan finished. "Shermy did have a son, and I knew he and his wife couldn't have kids themselves. They were already looking to adopt."

"So, why'd you give them up?" Ford asked.

"My wife had just died." Stan said, feeling that it was lucky this depressed him, or else he probably would have yelled at Ford for being stupid. "I wasn't exactly feeling up to taking care of kids. It-it was what was best for all of us. I called up our nephew and his wife, and they came right up to pick the kids up. And Dipper and Mable grew up down in California, a lot safer then Gravity Falls, anyway and...I was just a distant relative they hardly knew."

"It's always been the plan that the kids would come visit me for the summer once they were old enough. They thought their...parents shipped them up here to get some fresh air or something, but really this is for me, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. If Dipper hadn't found that crazy journal of yous, I'd of never got the portal fixed either."

"So, is anyone ever going to know?" Ford asked.

"No." Stan said firmly, scowling to himself. "Those two already have more on their plates than any twelve-year-old should. And besides that...I'm gettin' to be pretty old. I know those kids love me, but losing a great-uncle has to be easier than losing a father, right?"

He absentmindedly flipped through the pages; revealing several things to Ford. Postcards featuring younger twins alongside a man who looked a bit like their third brother and a woman he did not recognize. Pictures that had clearly been taken this summer and of which he'd seen doubles in Mable's scrapbook, even a newspaper clipping showing Dipper holding something with sparks coming out of it to a bat twice his size.

"You must be so proud." Ford said quietly.

"I am." Stan smiled, and began to explain the pictures to Ford. It was the most fun the Pines brothers had had with each other in decades.

Right. The reason I say this is AU is because I doubt the show itself would actually go this rout, but than again, you never, ever know with Gravity Falls. Review!