Everyday Life as a Supporting Character

Or:

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Monster Girls But Not in That Way You Weirdo

"So, do you understand your position?"

I look up from the files on my lap to the suited woman smirking in front of me, then back at the files. Then to the woman again. And then at the files once more.

I groaned and palmed my face. "I can't believe this is really happening."

Her smirk got even smirkier, if such a thing was possible. Somehow I just knew her eyes were glistening with amusement behind her sunglasses. Why was she even wearing them, anyway? We were inside of a car with tinted windows, for chrissakes.

"You're stuck with this, dimensional traveler or not. Because the circumstances of your… arrival to this world is unique, you're technically a part of the Cultural Exchange Between Species Program."

"But I'm a goddamn human!" I shouted indignantly. I didn't care how whiny I sounded, this was just bullshit! "I don't see why you get to just throw at some random host who has way too much on his hands already! I mean, seriously," I looked back at the files she'd given me, "He has three fucking liminals that he's hosting! Three!" Not to mention that I was already keenly aware that that number would only grow soon enough.

"He's shown to be quite capable of handling them," she replied coolly, pushing up her sunglasses, before another smile crossed her face. "Besides, I figure he'd need a… ah, male companion to help balance things out over there."

"More like just shoving your problems on to someone else," I grumbled, folding my arms and leaning back into the leather chair. Actually, that was pretty comfy. I decided to stay there; hopefully I'd be better able to argue my case like that. "Are you actually going to look for a way to send me home in the meantime?"

"Of course, of course," she answered, waving a hand dismissively. "We've got top men on figuring out the strange phenomenon that sent you here in the first place. But until then." That damn smile returned, and I could practically feel the evil intent oozing out from it. "Do as you're told, okay?"

The real message was loud and clear. 'I could make your life a living hell if I wanted to, so be a good boy so I don't have to do more work.'

Christ. The quicker I got away from Smith, the better.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, trying not to sound too afraid from her blatant threat. "So, 'technically', what is my job here?"

The terrifying aura that Smith had emanated evaporated entirely, as if it'd never been there. With a noticeably less-terrifying smile, she picked up one of the files on my lap. On it was a picture of my alleged host. "'Technically', you're supposed to be an assistant host, helping Darling-kun with any and all tasks around the house as he sees fit. Help the girls out with any problems, at their own discretion, of course. Be careful not to fuck them, though."

If I'd been drinking something, I would've spat it back out on her face. As it was, the double-take I made almost snapped my neck.

"The hell?" Where did that come from? "Fuck them? Why would you even say that?!"

"Because it is illegal. And the girls are quite attractive, so I wouldn't blame you if you succumbed to your baser desires."

I stared at her blankly. Trying to wrap my head around this… whatever it was. "Pardon me if I'm wrong, but the girls consist of:," I cleared my throat, "A lamia, harpy, and a centaur." And due to my… unique circumstances, I knew that there'd be a mermaid, arachne, and a slime, of all things. I took a breath and looked at Smith evenly. "I don't think you need to worry about me sleeping with any of them."

"I just thought I should let you know." For God's sake, why does she have to keep smiling like that?! At that, she handed me back the file on 'Darling-kun', whose real name was actually Kimihito Kuruso. Gotta love those alliterative names.

"Thanks," I said dryly, replacing the file along with the others on each of the girls back into a folder. Still, something was bothering me, eating away at the back of my mind. "Why did I get the feeling you're not telling me everything?"

Smith tilted her head coyly. "Whatever would give you that impression, Juyo-kun?"

That fake name still took some getting used to. I still didn't know why the government slapped the name on me, since my real name wasn't exactly a reality-breaking pair of words that would fundamentally shatter the poor commoners' views on their dimension. But whatever.

"If you're going to be obtuse about it, never mind." The car suddenly jerked to a stop. Smith sighed and peered outside.

"Well, looks like we're finally here," she said, "Be a dear and open up the door for me, would you?"

"You could phrase it a little better you know." Despite my whining, I acquiesced. I could've sworn I saw her wink behind those sunglasses before she stepped out into the light. With a suffering sigh, I followed. The daylight was briefly too bright for my eyes, making them tear up as I lifted a hand to shade them. Once that faded, I saw a distressingly familiar sight.

What lay before me really was the Kuruso household. Unreasonably large for what was originally intended for a family of three, the place seemed like a mansion in comparison to the surrounding houses.

"Fuck, I really am in MonMusu," I muttered under my breath.

"You still complaining over there?" Smith asked, turning back to face me. She'd already begun walking toward the house.

"Kind of," I answered, joining her. "So, what about my personal stuff? Because I've got, like, no clothes or anything besides what I'm wearing." I tugged at the bottom of my black 'Rex Ready' t-shirt for emphasis. That, my glasses, and my jeans were really all I had to my name now.

"Oh, that's all been provided for," Smith replied with a dismissive wave. "The Exchange compensates those under its care very well, so you'll find everything you need inside."

Well, as a very recent college graduate, I could hardly say no to free stuff. Even if it meant having to handle the odd habits of a bunch of monsters, or 'liminals', which seemed to be the PC term around here.

Smith rang the doorbell, which chimed a pleasant tune that echoed inside. It didn't take long for someone to answer. The door opened wide, revealing one of the most generic men I've ever seen in my life. When he saw us, a weary smile crossing his clean-shaven face, as if he were already resigned to whatever was about to happen.

"Ah, Smith-san," he greeted, "I didn't expect you. Um, we just had breakfast, sorry."

"Damn," she cursed under her breath, before clearing her throat and laying her hands on her hips. "Well, Darling-kun, do you remember what we talked about over the phone last night?"

He blinked at her and pressed a finger to his chin. "Um… oh! It was about the assistant host, right?" He turned to me. "Is this him?"

"Yo," I greeted, offering my hand. "Juyo Janai. Nice to meet you."

"Hello," He smiled and took it, shaking once before letting go, "I'm-"

"Darling-kun," Smith interrupted with a cheeky grin. She stepped beside the two of us, slapping a hand on each of our shoulders. "You two will be coworkers from now on."

Damn, she didn't having to hit me that hard. I rubbed at my sore shoulder, though Kuruso seemed unfazed. "I still think this situation is a bit contrived on your end…" I grumbled at her.

True to form, Smith just really, really didn't give a fuck. "Well, it's not like you have much of a choice, do you, Juyo-kun?" she responded with that same damn smile. Was she always like this in the show? "Well, if both of you already know the details, then I leave this in your capable hands, Darling-kun!"

She was already halfway out the door before I could call after her. "Hold on, Smith-san!" Look at me, properly using honorifics in an actual conversation. Putting all those weeb skills to use. "Isn't there more of a procedure to this then just dumping me at the door?!"

"You'll be fiiiiiiine," Smith answered without looking back or an ounce of shame, "Besides, who knows, you may be out of here by tomorrow." She half-turned, lowering her sunglasses for the first time to look at me. For once, her smile didn't seem condescending. "So just enjoy yourself, 'kay?"

At that, I didn't really have a response. I was joined by Kuruso while I watched her black sedan drive off. "So, Janai-san," he said with an easy-going smile, "Shall we head in? The girls will want to meet you, I'm sure."

Oh right, I'd almost forgotten that I was about to walk into a harem. Hoo boy.

"Yeah," I answered profoundly, and we both made our way back to the house. "So, uh, Kuruso-san, I dunno what Smith-san told you or anything…"

"Not much, I'm afraid," Kuruso said, laughing sheepishly, "Something about dimensional travel, but honestly it all went over my head. She did say you were remarkably qualified for helping me out, though, which frankly would be really, really nice-"

Goddammit Smith. "She lied," I told him, since I'd rather clear up any miscommunication right off the bat. Seeing Kuruso's resulting crestfallen expression did make me feel a little bad about the bluntness, though. "I mean, I'm not gonna be a dick and not help at all, just don't expect anything special, alright? I'm pretty average as far as dimensional travelers go."

Kuruso sighed. "Fair enough. The honesty's appreciated." We slipped off our shoes and stepped into the massive foyer. "We can talk more about it after you meet the girls."

"Right," I said as he walked ahead of me, going toward where I assume the kitchen was. When he was far enough away, I let out a deep breath, steeling myself for my first encounter with real-life monster girls.

"I have no idea what I'm doing." With a sinking feeling that that would become my mantra in the coming days, I followed him.

Author's note: Honestly, I just wanted to write something that my brain could relax to while plotting out Self Insert Evangelion, Nerd Sessions, and Little Angel Thesis. Expect short Slice-of-Life wackiness and interactions with maybe a little world-building here or there, since between the other three fics I got going I really can't do any more big projects without cracking. And yes, Juyo Janai is a self insert and no, the harem isn't going to fall head-over-heels in love for him. Anyway, hope you have fun!